Taming the Tongue. Fourth Sunday in Lent. James Chapter 3. Rev. Sarah Campbell

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1 Taming the Tongue Fourth Sunday in Lent James Chapter 3 Rev. Sarah Campbell A little over a year ago, one of the most beloved members of this community, who served on music staff for over 35 years, Dana Blanck, introduced me to a song and told me she wanted it sung at her upcoming funeral. She had me sit and watch Mandy Patinkin sing the song on her computer. The song Children Will Listen. Careful the things you say, the children will listen. Careful the things you do children will see and learn. Dana was deeply concerned about what children were taking in during these increasingly coarse, divisive, un-civil times. She was concerned about the spreading meanness and what this would do to children s souls. I don t know if Dana knew the story that I m about to tell. She might very well have. It happened just three weeks after the inauguration. The story comes from the Star Tribune metro section February 3, As you listen to it remember that there was a three year old child right there the whole time, taking it all in. The story is about the power of speech. Two Somali American women, Kadra Abdi, 31, and Sadia Warfa, 33, and Warfa s three year old daughter, left unnamed, were shopping at the Southdale Center in Edina on a Saturday night and entered the Smashburger inside the mall about 7:30 pm. They ordered Milkshakes, paid for them and waited. When they asked about the status of their order, Abdi said, they were met with hostility by a female employee and the restaurant s assistant manager. According to Abdi, the assistant manager told them, Welcome to America,: and that You think you re better than other people. Because they were Somali. The female employee called them idiots for continuing to wait. A male customer then entered the restaurant, Abdi said, and told them to go back to your country if they were unhappy with the service. The customer harangued them over their hijab, head coverings. The women got their milkshakes and were told to leave the restaurant. I was flabbergasted. I was in complete shock, Abdi said. It was all very surreal. I felt verbally attacked, like I was the victim of Islamophobia. Remember that there was a three year old child right there the whole time, taking it all in. Maybe she didn t understand everything, but she learned firsthand how words can hurt, how words can make you feel afraid, how words incite hatred. She learned the power of speech.

2 What s more no one in the restaurant, according to this report, spoke out in support of the Somali women. No one intervened. No doubt others in the restaurant were also in shock, perhaps ill prepared to deal with this explosive situation, perhaps they lacked courage. But in their silence, they are complicit. Silence is consent. And remember that there was a three year old child right there the whole time, taking it all in. She heard this too, loudly and clearly and damagingly, that not one person in the restaurant was there for them when they needed them. That must have been just as confusing to her as the words of the few mean people and just as hurtful. Did this make her feel more alone in the world than she ever had? She learned the power of speech and she learned the power of silence. But Abdi, one of the women, spoke out. This Luther college graduate reported the incident to the local office of the Council on American Islamic Relations, CAIR. She said that she and her friend are American citizens and that she was motivated to share their account by President Donald Trumps executive order temporarily banning travel from seven Muslimmajority nations. I wanted to say something, so people know that this type of treatment isn t OK. There was a three year old child, right there that evening, taking it in. Some day she will learn what her mother s friend did, how she resisted the spreading incivility and hatred in her country, the US. She will learn why this happened when it did; how the new presidents unhinged and coarse tongue and tweets, though it may give pleasure and relief to certain audiences, also made her world more dangerous; that the president s tongue can start fires; that a leader s language can incite hatred and violence. Will she also learn that just a few weeks later, something similar happened near Kansas City, only this time they were two Sikh men from India. And this time while the hater yelled: get out of my country he also shot a gun and killed one of them. Oh, the power of speech. What would you have done if you had been there, at that Smashburger on that night? What will you do when you witness something so shocking? It is, after all, happening more and more Perhaps you would have gone over and stood with the two women and the little girl, simply standing near them, in support, harboring them; and spoken with them warmly about anything at all, just being with them so they are not alone in this; being careful not to use your tongue to further incite vitriol, but giving the clear message to those with bigoted tongue that you stand by the two women and their child. Inane speech sometimes comes in handy. I love the shakes here What kind did you order? Have you tried the butterscotch?

3 And perhaps you would have taken note of the names of the workers and the time and place and reported them later, not by only but also by phone, tenaciously staying on the phone until you get to speak to the owner of this national chain and not giving up until you did. Perhaps if you found yourself leaving Smashburger at the same time as the male customer with bigoted tongue, and he tried to engage in bigoted conversation with you, you would have said, not meanly, but forthrightly, not fuzzy MN nice, but clearly: I totally disagree with you. My great grandparents immigrated here. What s more? Did you see that little girl? What do you suppose she learned? But you would restrain your tongue and not say more than necessary. Indeed, you would end this encounter with this man with kindness knowing that everyone is fighting a great battle and remembering Jesus words Father forgive them, for they know not what they do. There is another person in this story. There was another child there that day, with her mother. 15 year old Maria. Somehow the reporter found her and she was a truth teller. She was clear in speech. Neither softening nor exacerbating her speech, she was frank and open and just told the truth of what happened. She said that the employees did not try to help the women when the customer confronted them. Not only did they not do anything 15 year old Maria said, but they kind of encouraged the man to keep going. Now Maria may not have stepped in at the time, but she spoke out later and there is a conviction in her voice, a promise that she will continue to speak out. She will speak the truth in love the rest of her life, with wisdom and courage when the time calls for it. She knows now how much words matter; that the president s words matter- they can incite and embolden bigotry across the land; that uncivil, impulsive, mean words matter they hurt little children, maybe even traumatize them; that the silence of others, that no words when words are needed, matter this silence confuses and troubles little children maybe even more than the mean words do; that Abdi speaking out to CAIR and that her own speaking to the STrib newspaper matter. She knows with a knowing that will never be forgotten, the power of speech. Maybe her life will be driven by this experience. Maybe someday she will become a powerful leader, some kind of public figure, and she will take great care with her public words, knowing both how damaging they can be and how necessary truthful and powerful words can be. She will honor their power, like the flame of a fire, use them very carefully, but not timidly for the power of evil is so strong in the land that it needs potent, bold, and even, sometimes, burning speech, to unmask it and incite the people to goodness, stir the people to action but always with love in their hearts, not hatred. She will always choose her words carefully One wonders these days, are we in 1940s Germany? Or 1950s McCarthy America? With this new zeitgeist of hate and fear. Maybe someday she ll be the one, that 15 year old girl at Smashburger that night, someday she ll be the one sitting across from that leader with coarse, hateful tongue and tweets-- like the honorable lawyer Joseph N. Welch sat across the

4 table from Joseph McCarthy during the hearing--.maybe she ll be the one to say, saying simply and clearly and truthfully, to the man across from her: Have you no decency sir? In our scripture passage this morning, from James letter, he bemoans the near impossibility of controlling ones speech, taming one s tongue, and yet he speaks of the need to do just that. Yes, it s difficult, oh how difficult it is these days. But isn t it also true that ultimately people always have a choice where language is concerned. In a world like ours now, how is it best to speak? (Cusk) Let us be ever mindful of our speech lest we stir hatred; let us be ever mindful of our silence lest our decent quietism becomes weakness in a time that calls for courage. God have mercy on us the children are listening to both our words and to our silences Yes with language we always have a choice. May God grant us wisdom and courage to use it well. Amen. Sources Cusk, Rachel, The Age of Rudeness, New York Times Magazine, 2/9/17. Otarola, Miguel, Somali Women Harassed in Edina, Star Tribune, 2/3/17. Other thoughts. Jesus, the pioneer of our faith, knew well the power of language. He was not perfect. He was product of his time and place and had bigotry planted in him. He said hurtful things. Look up the story of the Canaanite woman. But she stayed in there with him and he was willing to grow and change. Mostly, Jesus used language to liberate the people. His well-chosen words healed so many. And he was skilled in the telling of parables, speech that effects personal transformation. And he was known to engage in polemic, unmasking and confronting the powers of evil, public speech. Sometimes, strong speech is required. As Jesus moves closer to Jerusalem in his last weeks, closer to the powers that be, he grows more bold in speech. He curses the leaders, allies of Rome in administering imperial society; that is an unjust society that causes the suffering of the masses. You snakes, you vipers brood but this strong speech was always in the service of love. It was always about love and when his enemies, who were so threatened by his words, decided that they needed to take both take control of the narrative and eliminate the source of the narrative they found troubling, and they made an orgy of mocking him and silencing him and ultimately crucifying the one with powerful speech... even then Jesus would not use speech that was cruel or retaliatory or threatening he knew the Roman soldiers were merely pawns of the powers that were silencing him, and he did not hate them it was always ultimately about love his last words. forgive them father, they know not what they do. His last speech was of love.

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