Atem N tzavim: We are all standing together. A challenge to build new relationships in the New Year.

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1 Atem N tzavim: We are all standing together. A challenge to build new relationships in the New Year. Rabbi Jordan M. Ottenstein, RJE Yom Kippur 5775, October 4, 2014 Beth-El Congregation In a small village in Poland, excitement was growing. The town had only one rabbi, the rabbi had only one son, and the only son of the only rabbi was going to be married to a beautiful young woman of the village. Everyone was looking forward to the wedding, and in honor of the upcoming nuptials the mayor of the town issued a proclamation. First, the mayor instructed that a huge barrel be built in the middle of the town square. The mayor explained that a ladder should also be constructed, to lead up to the top of the barrel, just like the kind of ladder that would lead up to the top of the water tower. Next, the mayor decreed that during the coming weeks everyone in the village was to fill a pail with the best wine from his or her wine cellar and bring it to the village square. Then each villager was to climb up the ladder and pour the wine into the barrel. That way, the mayor said, on the evening of the wedding, the bride and groom and their guests would tap the barrel and have the sweetest, most wonderful celebration the world had ever known. After the carpenter, Shmuel, had built a gigantic barrel and set it on top of tall poles, he constructed the ladder. Over the next two weeks, hour after hour, day after day, a procession of villagers carried their buckets into the square. Then each villager climbed the ladder and poured the contents of his or her bucket into the barrel. As the days passed, everyone could see the level of the liquid moving up the barrel because as the moisture was absorbed, it began seeping through the wood. As the barrel became more and more full, the villagers grew more and more excited. Finally, the blessed day of the wedding arrived. The rabbi was cheerful as he married his only son to the beautiful young woman. After the vows were exchanged, the groom broke the glass. Everyone shouted, "Mazal Tov!" and the villagers moved into the town square to begin the celebration. Music was playing, and the villagers sang with joy. They watched from below as the mayor of the town, who had proclaimed that the barrel be built, mounted the ladder and climbed to its top. He carried a mallet with him and stood ready to tap the large barrel. The villager held empty jugs in their hands and stood ready to fill their glasses with the rich, sweet wine. "Mazal tov to our only rabbi, his only son, and the lovely bride," the mayor said. "Mazal tov to our village on this happiest day every, and blessed be God who has brought joy to this bride and groom and to our small village." Finally the mayor tapped the barrel and placed his mug under the spigot. Everyone in the village was shouting, "mazal tov, mazal tov." The entire village fell silent as the mayor turned the spigot and the liquid poured forth. And what flowed from the barrel? Nothing...but...water. The villagers lowered their eyes with shame. But why? How could this be? Well, you see, for two weeks, every villager had thought that he or she could get away with pouring a pail of water into the barrel because, after all, what would one pail of water matter with all of that wonderful sweet wine? Each villager had expected the other villagers to do their part, figuring that he or she had to do nothing.

2 What should have been a glorious celebration turned into the saddest day the small village had ever known. 1 In commenting on this story, Rabbi Steven Leder remarks: "Reward...is commensurate with efforts and sacrifice--so we can't expect everyone to do his or her part while we do nothing. If one partner in a marriage tries to add water because he or she expects the other will bring wine, the couple will have a watered down marriage. If you try to parent according that principle, you'll have a watered down family. If you behave that way as an employee, you'll work for a watered down business. If you put nothing into your Judaism, what do you expect to get out of it?'" 2 What do you expect to get out of your Judaism? What are you looking for from this experience at Beth-El and this community? Are you looking for water? Or will you get wine? Well, Beth-El, and all Jewish institutions for that matter, has a goal. This goal is "not self preservation; it is to engage Jews with Judaism. It's not gaining more members; it's gaining more Jews. It's about people, not programs. It's about deep relationships." 3 Therefore, for each of us, as members of this community, in order to get the most from our Judaism we each need to become a "Relational Jew, a Jew who views Judaism as impacting virtually all of one's relationships." 4 For Jewish identity is not measured by how many services you attend each month, or how much money you give, or whether you light Shabbat candles. Even though all of these things are important, and indicators of "Jewish identification...internal Jewish identity is shaped by the relationships in [your] life." 5 It is through creating strong Jewish relationships that we can all hope to get the most out of our experiences in this community. This community has truly come together today for a sacred purpose. We have come together to pray and to seek atonement for our transgressions in the previous year. Yet our confession, the vidui, is in the plural possessive. We say al cheit shechtanu l'fanecha, for the sin we have committed against you. For we are all here together today, taking collective responsibility for each other. In fact, our Torah portion this morning began with the words " 6 atem n'tzavim hayom kulchem lifnei Adonai Eloheichem, you stand here today, all of you, before Adonai your God, the heads of your tribes, your elders and officers, everyone in Israel, men, women and children, and the strangers in your camp." Each one of us stands today, on this Day of Atonement in front of God. And yet, this day becomes so much easier, and so much more spiritually fulfilling when we are in healthy relationships with those standing with us. In his book, Relational Judaism, Dr. Ron Wolfson, of the American Jewish University, writes of nine levels of relationships that he sees as necessary to bring each of us into "deep, lasting engagement with the Jewish experience." 7 Among these are relationships between you and yourself, between you and your family, between you and your friends, between you and your Jewish living and learning, between you and your community, both sacred and secular, between you and Jewish peoplehood, between you and the State of Israel, between you and the whole world, and finally, between you and God. This morning I would like to touch on three of these: 1 Leder, Steven Z. The Barrel As found in: Becker, Laney Katz. Three Times Chai: 54 Rabbis Tell their Favorite Stories. Behrman House, New Jersey P Ibid. 3 Wolfson, Ron. "Relational Judaism." Woodstock, VT: Jewish Lights Publishing p Ibid. p Ibid. 6 Deuteronomy 29:9 7 Wolfson. p. 46.

3 relationships between you and yourself, between you and God, and between you and Jewish living and learning. The first level of relationship that Wolfson says we need to work on is the relationship with ourselves. This relationship allows us to shape our view of the world and decide what type of person we are going to be. Once, the Hassidic rabbi Zusya came to his followers with tears in his eyes. They asked him: "Zusya, what's the matter?" And he told them about his vision; "I learned the question that the angels will one day ask me about my life." The followers were puzzled. "Zusya, you are pious. You are scholarly and humble. You have helped so many of us. What question about your life could be so terrifying that you would be frightened to answer it?" Zusya replied; "I have learned that the angels will not ask me, 'Why weren't you a Moses, leading your people out of slavery?' and that the angels will not ask me, 'Why weren't you a Joshua, leading your people into the promised land?" Zusya sighed; "They will say to me, 'Zusya, why weren't you Zusya?" 8 This story teaches that we must not live under the pretense of trying to be someone we are not. Rather, we should be happy with who we are as individuals, and attempt, through our daily lives, to be the best individual we can be. That is the message of this Holy Day. We may not know what the future brings, but we have the opportunity, through repentance, prayer, and charity to better ourselves. We have the opportunity, during these Holy Days, to examine our own personal relationship, and to try and improve how we relate to ourselves in the year to come. The second relationship that I would like to speak about is between you and God and is directly related to the first. In examining our relationships with ourselves, it is important to remember how we are created. "Nahum Sarna, a biblical scholar, taught that tzelem, the word that describes the creation of human beings by God, has another meaning besides 'image.' For Sarna, tzelem means 'symbol.' In this reading, every human being is a symbol of God, each with a unique purpose authorized by the Creator." 9 For, if we are truly created in the image of God, and each of us is a symbol of God, then our relationships with our Creator must be examined as well. We are Yisrael. Just as Jacob earned this name after wrestling with the angel, so do we, as Jews, carry the name Yisrael, which celebrates the "God-wrestler" in each of us. For that is the essence of who we are as Jews, we are those who strive for relationship with the Divine by questioning and seeking out answers. In her children's book, Let's Talk About God, Dorothy Kripke writes, "We cannot see God...we cannot see many things. We cannot see the wind. But we see the autumn leaves flying and dancing, all orange and gold. We see a bright green kite sailing in the sky. Then we know the wind is there. We see what the wind does, even though we cannot see the wind itself. We cannot see love, but we know when someone loves us. We feel love in a hug or a smile or a friendly look or a warm touch. We feel love in many ways, but we never see love. We know it by what it does to us. 8 Buber, Martin. Tales of the Hasidim. Vol. 1: Tales of the Early Masters. New York: Schocken Books p Wolfson. p. 55.

4 We cannot see God. But we do see what God does in the world. We cannot see God, but we know that God is there." 10 God is there, in every place, b'kol makom. In fact, one of the names we have for God in Hebrew is Hamakom, the place. For God resides within every place, and as we are created in the image of God, within every person. In his work, I and Thou, renowned Jewish philosopher, Martin Buber discusses the principle of God s presence in each person at length. Buber teaches that there two types of relationships, the I-It relationship, and the I-Thou. The I-It relationship is the relationship of experience, the relationship of how things affect the individual. The I-It is a relationship, in which the other person or object does not have any personal meaning, and is only there to help one through an experience. Buber taught that, We are told that man experiences his world, what does that mean? It means that Man goes over the surface of things and experiences them. He brings back from them some knowledge of their condition-an experience. He experiences what there is to things. But it is not experiences alone that bring the world to man. For what they bring to him is only a world that consists of It. For it is not until we engage the other in relationships that we can have the truly holy I-Thou, the Ani-V atah, relationship. For it is within this relationship that we can really know creation and know those around us. To know the atah, to know the you, is to know the silent, inner being of our fellow human beings. And, when we engage with those around us in I-Thou relationships, we will be able to relate to others and find the God place within each other. This is how we will truly be able to relate to, and find relationship with God, by searching for the Divine in the world, and by finding God in other individuals that we meet. Stemming from our relationship with ourselves and also from our relationships with the Divine and, for many of us, the reason we are here today, is the third type of relationship I would like to discuss with you: our relationships to Judaism and the Jewish community. The development and deepening of this relationship is important because it will help ensure the future of Judaism. But why does Judaism need a future? Rabbi Eli Kaunfer answers this question by stating, "Because Judaism offers a system, a covenantal language, a heritage and tradition that responds to the human need for meaning, substance and connection...it is called Torah...the sum total of Jewish sources and texts--the wisdom stored up in our textual heritage. Torah has the power to draw us into conversation...the power to push us to ask bold questions and to transform our relationships." 11 Judaism's future is linked to our relationship to it, and our relationship to Judaism can help guide and enrich our lives. It is our relationship to this community, to Judaism, and to the Jewish people that causes us to understand, deep within, the dictum: kol Yisrael arevim zeh b'zeh. All of Israel, all of the Jewish people are responsible for one another. It is this relationship that led to countless volunteer hours to help the Jews of the Soviet Union. It is this relationship that has led Jews the world over to support the State of Israel. And it is this relationship that leads us to have a communal sense of pride when one of our own does something well or a communal sense of shame when one of our fellow Jews does something terrible. How many of us were hoping that Bernie Madoff was not Jewish when his crimes came to light? How many of us take pride in Sandy Kofax or Albert Einstein? It is our connection and our relationship to the Jewish community that leads us to experience these emotions and reactions. And it is our relationship to the Jewish community that leads us to this sacred space on this sacred day. 10 Kripke, Dorothy K. and Christine Tripp. Let's Talk About God. Los Angeles: Torah Aura Productions p , Wolfson. p. 63.

5 We all have a relationship with Judaism and the Jewish people; otherwise we would not be here marking Yom Kippur together. But let this Yom Kippur not only be a day of atonement, let it be a day of at-one-ment, where we pledge to become better individuals, to work, in the coming year, to strengthen the uniqueness and the bonds of this community by strengthening our relationships to the Beth-El community, with the Temple as a whole and with its individual members. Let us work to make sure all who come here are welcomed and engaged in conversation as we get to know each other better. My first day in Fort Worth, this past June, happened to be a Friday. After a lovely Shabbat dinner at the Mecklenburgers, I came to services at the Temple. Almost immediately after walking through the door, I was welcomed and introduced to the group waiting for services to begin. We all need to make sure that this was not a unique experience for me alone, but that we are going out of our way to make the stranger, to make anyone and everyone who walks through the door, to feel welcome. Furthermore, we want to hear from you. Later this month, a series of focus groups will be held, primarily with members of young families, asking what you are looking for in your Temple and in your Jewish community. We hope to use this knowledge to better understand the needs of our community. And for those of you who are not "young families," we want to hear from you as well. Please know that there is always a place for suggestions and feedback, in order to help strengthen each of your experiences and relationships at the Temple. But, relationships can't happen without engagement. This is why I would like each of you to engage in a short exercise of cheshbon hanefesh, an accounting of your souls and your lives. How often do you come to the Temple? This is a non-judgmental question. Just think about it. Well, I would like to challenge you to become more active so that we can build, together, your relationship with this community. Specifically, I would like each person here to commit to coming to the Temple twelve more times in the new year than you did in the previous one. Twelve times: just once a month. If you are in the building for one reason or another every week, then I challenge you to find twelve more opportunities to be involved. And if it has been since the last High Holy Days since you have come through these doors, I challenge you as well, to find twelve more opportunities, just once a month, to be involved. Now, if you all find more than twelve, that is great too. But, let s start with twelve. For I want each of us to create and foster real and honest relationships that are built around a wide variety of interactions, whether through the celebration of Shabbat and holidays, study, work on social justice projects, or even just through opportunities to be social, we can all learn together, grow together, and create lasting relationships with each other and our Judaism that will strengthen ourselves and the future of the Jewish people. During each service that we have, we read these words: v'ahavta et Adonai eloheicha b'chol levavcha u'v'chol nafshecha u'v'chol meodecha. You shall love Adonai your God will all of your heart, with all of your soul, and will all of your might. 12 And this afternoon, we will read from the book of Leviticus what has been called the central mitvah in the Torah: v'ahavta lare'acha komocha. You shall love your neighbor as yourself. 13 Dr. Wolfson teaches that from these two commandments to love, we can learn that "in the end, the purpose of Judaism--the purpose of relationships--is to love the other and [God]...When you do, you find meaning--an understanding of the significance of life; you find purpose--an imperative to do what you are put on earth to do during your life; your find belonging--a community of people who will be there 12 Deuteronomy 6:5 13 Leviticus 19:18

6 for you and with you; and you find blessing--a feeling of deep satisfaction and gratitude, a calendar and life-cycle of opportunities to celebrate the gifts of life...it is all about relationships...and creating and deepening them is a challenge to" 14 our Temple as a whole and to each of us as individuals. For when we strengthen our relationships--between each one of us and our own individual selves, between us and God, and between us and Judaism and the Jewish community--we will truly be able to see the rewards in our lives. And each of us will be able to, together as a community, drink our share of wine, and not water, at the celebration that is our lives. May the building and deepening of these relationships be our challenge and our goal in the year ahead. G'mar chatimah tovah, may this future be sealed for each of us as a blessing. 14 Wolfson. p. 241.

Kushner, Harold S. Living a Life that Matters. Anchor Books. New York Page 40.

Kushner, Harold S. Living a Life that Matters. Anchor Books. New York Page 40. Adonai Prepare Me to be a Sanctuary Erev Rosh Hashanah Sermon Rabbi Jordan M. Ottenstein, RJE Congregation Dor Tamid Johns Creek, Georgia September 20, 2017/1 Tishrei 5778 At the beginning of this evening