#4: #4: Icebreaker (Your group may be ready for something a little lighter to start off with!)

Transcription

1 LIFE GROUPS ROUPS: Leader s Discussion Guide SERMON PASSAGE FOR SESSION #4: #4: Ephesians 5: (vv for context) In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, (30-33) because we are members of his body. Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband. THE CHURCH STUDY GUIDE UIDE: INTRODUCTION NTRODUCTION: SESSION 4: THE UNITY OF THE CHURCH Icebreaker (Your group may be ready for something a little lighter to start off with!) One minute please! The aim of the game is to talk for one minute on a given subject. You announce the topic and a member of the group is randomly selected to speak for one minute. Use a pack of cards to randomly select (i.e. person who draws the lowest number). Choose subjects to stimulate the imagination and which may be amusing. Put a stopwatch on each person to see how long they last before drying up! Subjects might include: my earliest memories, my favorite computer game, why beans are good for you, 10 things you can do with potatoes, Alligator wrestling, pre-millennialism (no, not really!) 4:

2 Discussion: Where have you felt the most loved and the most unified with the people around you? What contributed to the love and unity you experienced? If your answer was not a church, what specifically kept the church from being that place of love and unity? If your answer was church, what was the impact the church was able to have on their community through love and unity? INVESTIGATION NVESTIGATION: Why do you think that Jesus and the New Testament writers put such an emphasis on love and unity? Would you say that love and unity are highly emphasized words in churches today? Explain your answer.

3 What does the following phrase from our passage tell you about how unity and love should permeate everything we do as a church? because we are members of His body. (Eph. 5:30) It is always important to understand the context surrounding a specific passage or theme. Look at these following passages from the book of Ephesians and discuss this question. What do these passages tell you about what it means to be a part of the body of Christ in relation to one another and in relation to Jesus Christ? Ephesians 1:22-23 Ephesians 2:11-22 Ephesians 4:1-6 Ephesians 4:11-16 Ephesians 4:30-32 Ephesians 5:1-2 Ephesians 5:21

4 INTEGRATION NTEGRATION: Reread Ephesians 5: Pastor Dave said that there are three significant relationships spoken of in this passage. We are to be in community with other disciples, with Jesus Christ, and with our families. What are you called to when it comes to being in community with other disciples? What are you called to when it comes to being in community with Jesus Christ? What are you called to when it comes to being in community with your family? Which of these relationships are you having the most difficult time with currently? SERIES CONCLUSION ONCLUSION: What is your overall takeaway from this series on what it means to be a part of the Church the Bride of Christ? CLOSING PRAYER RAYER: God and Sovereign of all, make us, who are unworthy, worthy of this hour, lover of mankind; so that being pure from all deceit and all hypocrisy, we may be united with one another by the bond of peace and love, being confirmed by the sanctification of your divine knowledge through your only begotten Son, our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, with whom you are blessed, together with your all-holy, and good, and quickening Spirit, now and ever, and to all eternity. Amen. (Divine Liturgy of James)

5 MARRIAGE STUDY GUIDE UIDE: Questions adapted from the online study guide for Timothy Keller s book, The Meaning of Marriage found at: INTRODUCTION NTRODUCTION: Did you do anything this past week that strengthened your friendship? What was it? In what ways has your personality changed since you first got married? In what ways has your spouse s personality changed? If somebody asked you today, What is the best way to stay in love with your spouse, how would you respond? Based on everything that has been discussed so far in this series, do you believe it is possible for a couple to fall out of love? Please explain. INVESTIGATION NVESTIGATION: If you could tell an engaged couple the greatest lesson you have learned about marriage, what would it be?

6 Timothy Keller writes in The Meaning of Marriage that you should give each other the right to hold one another accountable. (p.138, 146) What does it mean to hold one another accountable? How do you currently accomplish this within your marriage? Leader s Note: Different people and churches may define accountability differently. Some churches encourage each member to have an accountability partner. This is a person to openly discuss life struggles, doubts, and even sinful thoughts with who will pray and encourage them in the Christian faith. In a marriage, each person should give their spouse permission to hold them accountable, as this is a key way to grow in holiness with one another. Read Genesis 2:24 and answer the following questions: What does it mean to leave your father and mother? How easy or difficult do you think this is for most couples today? How easy or difficult has it been for your marriage? Leader s Note: To leave your father and mother doesn t mean to have no contact with them; it means to leave that family culture and begin a new culture of your own. Each of you bring your own family culture into their marriage. Today, this often happens with special events (how birthdays and holidays are celebrated), parenting styles, and many other areas of marriage. Each person within the marriage must re-think how they view all aspects of marriage and family and must begin their own new family culture. Timothy Keller mentions some Greek words to distinguish love. They included (storge) affection, (philos) friendship, and (agape) service. How can your spouse best communicate your love language in the areas of affection, friendship, and service?

7 INTEGRATION NTEGRATION: Dr. Gary Chapman in his book The 5 Love Languages has outlined 5 Love Languages, and they include: Words of Affirmation This person enjoys unsolicited compliments and encouragement. Insults are not easily forgotten and leave them feeling shattered. Quality Time This person desires full, undivided attention. Cell phones, ipads, Facebook and Pinterest are enemies of a quality time personality. Receiving Gifts Any gift, large or small makes this person feel cared for and prized above all other things. Acts of Service This person deeply appreciates you vacuuming, doing the dishes, changing the oil, or anything else you can do to ease the burden of responsibilities. Physical Touch This isn t just about sex. They enjoy hugs, pats on the back, holding hands, and other forms of touch all throughout the day. If you had to guess, which one is your primary love language? Which one is your spouse s primary love language? (Note: If you wish, take a free online assessment at Does this give you better insight as to how you can better be loving toward your spouse? Please explain. Leader s Note: This question should give each person a good opportunity to better understand how they can love their spouse. If you re not able to discuss this question in your group setting due to time constraints, be sure to encourage each couple to discuss this question on their own. Do you regularly take opportunities to read the Bible or other Christian literature together? If so, what are some benefits to your marriage from doing so? If not, what would be some benefits to your marriage if you did so?

8 What is your number one takeaway from this series on marriage? What can you do this week to help enhance or heal your marriage? (YOU not your spouse!!!) CLOSING PRAYER RAYER: Heavenly Father, we acknowledge at this time that we do change as time goes on. We understand that we are not the same person we were when we married, and that years from now we will not be the same people we are today. We know that we will change. Throughout these changes, we commit that we will continually keep our marriage relationship and our friendship as a tremendous priority in our lives. We pray that You will give us wisdom in how to do so, and we give each other permission to keep us accountable in this. (For those married with children) We also acknowledge that it is sometimes easier to focus on being a parent than it is to focus on being a spouse. And we pray today that our relationship will be a reflection of the marriage we want our children to have and experience. That our marriage relationship will be of greater importance to us than our relationship with our children, or any other person. Father, we don t wish to simply maintain our marriage relationship, instead our desire is for our marriage to grow and mature to a level we never thought possible. And we ask that You will continue to guide and lead us with this in mind. We pray these things in Jesus name. Amen.