Why Small Groups? 10 March 2010 How to Fellowship, Part 2

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1 Why Small Groups? 10 March 2010 How to Fellowship, Part 2 Context: Tonight we continue our Bible study series Why Small Groups? 1 In our first few lessons, we set forth a biblical model of sanctification. Sanctification is a gradual process where both God and man are working together in complementary ways to conform the believer to the image of Christ. Then we considered the congregational nature of sanctification. An essential element in the pursuit of holiness is fellowship 2 with other believers. Lastly we considered more carefully the nature of fellowship and what this looks like in the Christian life. Tonight we continue to discuss how we fellowship, talking about a number of different ways Christians can maximize fellowship opportunities. Read: Galatians 6:1-10 Discussion: I. A few questions on Galatians 6:1-10: A. Who wrote Galatians? To whom is Galatians written? What is the overall theme of the book of Galatians (cf. 1:6-10)? B. Skim back over this passage. List off a few of the different ways believers are to serve one another. C. What do you think verse 2 means when it says, Bear one another s burdens. Describe what this would look like in concrete terms in our church? D. How important is involvement in a local church to obeying this particular passage (e.g., could you obey this passage stranded on a deserted island?)? E. Think about verse 10. Put this verse in your own words. Where is the priority in this verse? II. Discuss the following quote: It is both foolish and wicked to suppose that we will make much progress in sanctification if we isolate ourselves from the visible church. Indeed, it is commonplace to hear people declare that they don t need to unite with a church to be a Christian. They claim that their devotion is personal and private, not institutional or corporate. This is not the testimony of the great saints of history; it is the confession of fools. 3 A. Based upon what we have learned in this course, do you believe the above quote is true or untrue? B. Why has this not been the experience of many Christians? C. What could you do to remedy the situation? III. Think back to the best time of Christian fellowship you ever experienced. What were some factors that made it so beneficial? How could we foster these in our church? 1 While it could be possible to conclude that this study is simply designed to encourage participation in our weekly Growth Groups, the principles we will be discussing go far beyond those once-a-week meetings. What we will be talking about will apply any time you informally gather with a handful of Christians to pray, discuss God s word together, encourage one another, etc. Even if you never attend one of our Growth Groups, all Christians need the encouragement and support of their brothers and sisters in Christ in some context. 2 In this course we have defined fellowship this way: Biblical fellowship, not to be confused with socializing, is Gospel-enabled, Scripture-guided, situation-sensitive conversation. This conversation might take a variety of forms including mutual encouragement, exhortation, admonition, rebuke, back-and-forth discussion, evaluation of current events, or comfort. What governs fellowship is that it is conversation about the things of God, done in love, for the purpose of encouraging trust in and obedience to God s Word. 3 RC Sproul, The Soul s Quest for God (Wheaton: Tyndale House, 1992), 151; quoted in Why Small Groups? edited by CJ Mahaney (Gaithersburg: Sovereign Grace Ministries, 1996), 6. 1

2 Study: I. Some Character Traits that Can Maximize Fellowship: A. Transparency: i. To truly fellowship, we must be honest about our shortcomings, strengths, struggles, trials, joys, fears, passions, interests, temptations, etc. In a nutshell, we can not present ourselves as we would like others to think of us but as we actually are in God s sight (Romans 12:3). Only when people know the real you can they serve you most effectively. ii. Realize that such transparency is not saying anything you feel or giving vent to all your emotions. These practices can easily lead to slander, rage, bitterness, and a host of other sinful affections. Remember the words of Proverbs 29:11: A fool gives full vent to his spirit, but a wise man quietly holds it back. 4 iii. Such honesty and transparency is enabled by the Gospel. Since Christ died for the ungodly (Romans 5:6) and since God justifies the ungodly (Romans 4:5), we need not pretend that we are more righteous and holy than we actually are. In a sense, the Gospel enables us to let down our hair and to be appropriately frank with others who are likewise saved by grace. B. Humility: i. Biblical humility is not perpetually thinking depressed thought about yourself nor is it an obsession with how bad you are in comparison to others. Rather it is an accurate perception of yourself as you are before God. Pastor CJ Mahaney defines humility as honestly assessing ourselves in light of God s holiness and our sinfulness. 5 ii. iii. iv. The Bible is very clear that God loves humility and promises special blessings to those who are humble: a. Isaiah 66:2 This is the one to whom I will look: he who is humble and contrite in spirit and trembles at my word. b. James 4:6 But he gives more grace. Therefore it says, "God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble. Like transparency, true humility is enabled by the Gospel. God opens our eyes to see ourselves as desperately wicked in his sight (Jeremiah 17:9), and yet, because of the death and resurrection of Jesus, believers stand before God as forgiven and justified (Romans 4:6ff.). This paradox of being a sinner and righteous simultaneously 6 is the foundation of real humility. In fellowship, the humble person recognizes his own deficiencies and is therefore ready to receive constructive criticism, eager to learn new truth, and willing to listen to different and opposing opinions (Proverbs 12:15). Authors Gary & Betsy Ricucci enumerate the following benefits of humility for fellowship: 7 a. Humility asks questions and loves dialogue. b. Humility has never found someone from whom it could not learn something. c. Humility assumes there is always more to learn about everything. 4 All Scripture quotations are from The Holy Bible, English Standard Version, copyright 2001 by Crossway Bibles. 5 As quoted in Gary & Betsy Ricucci, Love that Lasts (Wheaton: Crossway. 2006), This phrase is attributed to Martin Luther, who described the Christian as simul justus et peccator (Latin simul, simultaneous + Latin justus, righteous + Latin et, and + Latin peccator, sinner ). It is essentially another way of saying God justified the ungodly (Romans 4:5). 7 Ibid, 71. 2

3 d. Humility assumes I need others. e. Humility would rather be open and vulnerable than closed and independent. f. Humility puts energy and effort into listening. g. Humility treats another Christian as a fellow traveler on the road to biblical wisdom. h. Humility believes what the Gospel says about our desperate need for God and His grace after we are saved as well as before. v. Humility will result in the following actions and behaviors in our fellowship: a. Listening If a Christian is humble, he will attentively listen to what others are saying. He will avoid thinking about how they will articulate their next thought, tomorrow s to-do list, or the conversation in the next pew. Instead, since the humble person is eager to learn and serve, he will be quick to hear, slow to speak (James 1:19). b. Asking Questions A humble person will not pretend to understand things when he actually does not. Therefore, he will ask many questions to learn. Moreover, a humble person will recognize that in many situations there are deep heart-issues involved. The surface problem is not always the real problem. Therefore, they will ask numerous questions, seeking to understand what is really going on inside another person s soul. As Proverbs 20:5 says: The purpose in a man's heart is like deep water, but a man of understanding will draw it out. C. Love: i. Biblical love is the essence of Christian living. When Jesus was asked to summarize the entire Old Testament, He said: Matthew 22:37-40 You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment. And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself. On these two commandments depend all the Law and the Prophets. ii. Love for other Christians is one of the surest evidences that a person has been born again. This idea is found throughout the Bible, but is stated concisely in 1 John 3:14: We know that we have passed out of death into life, because we love the brothers. Whoever does not love abides in death. iii. Biblical love is not primarily an affection or a romantic feeling but a sacrificing of one s own desires for the good of another (e.g., 1 Corinthians 13). This kind of love was supremely demonstrated at the Cross, where Jesus sacrificed His own life for us and our salvation (Rom 5:8). His love then becomes the standard and model for our love (1 John 3:16). iv. Like all other Christian virtues, biblical love is enabled by the Gospel. Since we have been freely forgiven by the blood of Christ, we can then freely forgive others who sin against us (Matthew 18:23-35; Colossians 3:13). Since we believe that in Christ we are loved by God despite our sinful behavior, we are freed to reflect that love to others, despite their sinful behavior. As 1 John 4:19 says: We love because he first loved us. v. Here are a few ways in which biblical love will seek to demonstrate itself in the context of fellowship: a. To work for unity and peace with other Christians (Ephesians 4:1-4). b. To view and treat other Christians as brothers and sisters (1 Timothy 5:1-2). 3

4 c. To demonstrate honor to others when appropriate (Romans 12:10). d. To rejoice with those who rejoice and weep with those who weep (Romans 12:15). e. To accept one another (Romans 15:7). f. To counsel one another (Romans 15:14). g. To serve all men but especially other Christians (Galatians 6:10). h. To carry one another s burdens (Galatians 6:2). i. To be kind and to forgive one another (Ephesians 4:32). j. To bear with one another (Colossians 3:13). k. To teach and admonish one another (Colossians 3:16). l. To gently rebuke brothers who stray into sin (Galatians 6:1-5). m. To speak the truth in love to our brothers (Ephesians 4:15). n. To encourage and build up one another (1 Thessalonians 5:11). o. To spur on one another to love and good works (Hebrews 10:24). p. To be hospitable to one another (1 Peter 4:9). q. To confess your sins to one another (James 5:16). r. To pray for one another (James 5:16). II. Some Habits that Can Maximize Fellowship: A. Church Attendance: i. Obviously church attendance is not synonymous with biblical fellowship. It is fearfully easy to attend church on a regular basis and to not experience the biblical fellowship we have been describing in this course. Furthermore, we should not believe that fellowship must be limited to formal church meetings but can take place whenever two or three gather together in Jesus name (Matthew 18:20). ii. However, church gatherings are ideal opportunities for fellowship since they are times when Christians gather together to intentionally think about the things of God. Before, during, and after these meetings, we should discuss what the Lord has been teaching us, how we can pray for one another, things for which we can give thanks, ways we are struggling, something we learned in our devotions, etc. As you drive to a church gathering, you should be thinking of how you might intentionally engage in fellowship at that meeting (e.g., I m going to share with Bill such-and-such prayer request ). iii. In general, the depth and degree of our fellowship usually coincides with how regularly we gather with another believer(s). In other words, it is hard to stay current with another brother or sister if you only talk to them once every 6 months. Instead, the biblical model encourages us to seek out as many opportunities for fellowship as we can. As Hebrews 3:13 states: But exhort one another every day, as long as it is called "today," that none of you may be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin. iv. Trinity Baptist Church offers the following weekly meeting which you could use as opportunities for fellowship: a. Sunday school Sundays from 9:30-10:30 b. Prayer for Preaching Ministry Sundays from 10:30-10:45 4

5 c. Corporate worship Sundays beginning at 10:45 d. Growth Groups Sunday evenings at 6:00 e. Wednesday night Bible study and prayer meeting 7:00-8:00 f. Other Bible studies (Ladies Bible study, evangelistic Bible studies, book clubs, etc.) offered on occasion and throughout the year. g. Men s Friday Fellowship Breakfast 6:30 at Bruner s Restaurant v. If you are not experiencing the regularity or depth of fellowship that you desire, consider attending an additional church meeting(s). This may require you to reschedule or drop other activities, but if sanctification is a community project, it might be well worth it. B. Bible Intake: i. Because we are sinners, it is easy to unintentionally move discussion of the things of God to the bottom of the communication agenda. Sports, the weather, the economy, politics, hunting, automobiles, etc. can be much easier to talk about since those are the topics on our minds throughout the week. a. How many of us have felt awkward talking about the Bible with another Christian but then became animated and excited when the topic turned to the most recent movie we just saw? b. Evaluate your conversations with other believers (including your spouse) this week. Based on what you discussed, what are you passionate about? What are you setting your mind upon? Because of this tendency, we must be intentional in meditation on biblical truth, as Colossians 3:1-3 teaches: If then you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth. For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God. ii. Consider also what Jesus teaches us in Luke 6:45: The good person out of the good treasure of his heart produces good, and the evil person out of his evil treasure produces evil, for out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks. According to Jesus, there is a direct connection between what we think about and what we talk about. If you think about sports, entertainment, politics, etc. throughout the week, you will enjoy discussing these with others. Likewise, if you set apart some time throughout the week to read God s word, talking about what you have learned will be natural. So then, if our fellowship is to be spiritually-edifying, our minds must be filled with biblical truth. Authors Gary & Betsy Ricucci write: There is no secret to spiritual conversation. It will flow from hearts set upon God s word. Like all good fruit, edifying conversation comes from seeds sown and cultivated over time. We must let the Word of God dwell richly in us [Colossians 3:16-17] As we plant the seeds of the Word through devotional reading, study, and listening to the preached Word in church, God s truth will find its way more and more into our thinking, and hence into our communication. 8 iii. If this is true, as yourself: 8 Ibid,

6 a. Are you regularly reading the Bible and letting the Word of Christ dwell richly within you (Colossians 3:16-17)? 9 b. Do you make it a habit to read good Christian books that help you know and love God? 10 c. As you evaluate the last 3-5 years of your life, do you believe you have grown in your knowledge of God and of His word? d. Do you have a plan for regular times of Bible reading, study, and prayer? iv. One final thought on this point. If fellowship with other Christians is a demonstration of love for other Christians and if Bible intake enhances fellowship, then we should view personal Bible intake as a demonstration of love for other believers. Bible study and devotions do not merely help you grow spiritually, but enable you to better serve others. C. Prayer for Other Believers: i. As we saw above, prayer is one way whereby Christians demonstrate their love for one another (James 5:16). In a general sense, your love for other believers could be measured by your prayers for them (Ephesians 1:15-17). ii. Prayer, however, is not only a private activity where you converse with God but also an opportunity to enhance your fellowship with other believers. As you talk to God on behalf of another believer, God often chooses to knit your heart to that other believer. 11 Furthermore, such prayer also gives you good conversation fodder for the next time you see the individual (e.g., I prayed for such-and-such the other night; how s that going?). iii. A few hints for making prayer a means of fellowship: a. During Wednesday night prayer meetings (or any time prayer requests are shared, for that matter), make it a point to write down requests. Then you can pray for these throughout the week. b. Pray especially for spiritual burdens or about ways in which God is at work in another person s life. c. If you pray for someone during the week, ask them about the situation when you see them again. If circumstances have changed, pray accordingly. d. Learn to pray together with another individual or in small groups: 1. Learning to pray with others can feel awkward, especially at first, but it is a biblical (e.g., Acts 1:12-14) and edifying practice. Learning how to do this well will take time and endurance. 2. By and large, we pray the way we do because we have listened to the prayers of others. This is not a bad thing. The disciples learned to pray through listening to Jesus prayers (Luke 11:1; John 11:41-42). 3. Praying with another individual can be an effective tool for learning how to pray. If at all possible, develop a prayer-partner relationship with someone (either your spouse or a friend of your own gender) with whom you can meet with regularly for prayer. 9 If you are looking for help to do this more faithfully and effectively, we would direct you to the notes for the series How to Get the Most from God s Word. These are available to download on our website ( 10 If you are looking for recommended Christians books on a variety of topics, a couple of hundred are listed on our website. Visit the above site and go to the page entitled Reading List under Resources. 11 Which is why husbands need to be praying daily for their wives and children and vice versa. 6

7 4. If you enjoy prayer, consider seeking someone else and teaching him or her how to pray. If you struggle in prayer, consider seeking someone whose prayer life you respect to pray with. 5. Can anyone testify of being encouraged through a prayer-partner relationship? e. Use the church directory to pray regularly through the congregation. Consider praying for one or two families a day and then begin again when you get to the end of the directory. Application: I. Why doesn t the content of the Bible enter our conversations more frequently? How might we remedy this? II. What practically could you do if you learned immediately after a worship service that another church member was deeply discouraged? III. Have you ever considered the fact that you have a God-given obligation to intentionally encourage other Christians to pursue holiness? How faithfully have you followed through on this obligation? How could you foresee yourself exhorting one another on to love and good works this week? Is there one practical step you could take to make this a reality? IV. What one thing most stood out to you from tonight s lesson and why? 7