Green With Envy: Avoiding the Poison Ivy of Comparison Aug. 4, 2013 Series: Soul Detox: Clean Living in a Contaminated World

Transcription

1 Green With Envy: Avoiding the Poison Ivy of Comparison Aug. 4, 2013 Series: Soul Detox: Clean Living in a Contaminated World The fable is told of an eagle who envied another eagle who had better flying skills. One day the envious bird saw a hunter with a bow and arrow and said to him, "I wish you would bring down that other eagle who s soaring above us." The hunter said he would if only he had some feathers for his arrow. So the envious eagle pulled one out of his wing. The man shot the arrow, but it didn't quite reach the rival bird because he was soaring too high. So the envious eagle pulled out another feather, then another, and another until he had lost so many feathers that he could no longer fly. Then the hunter, seeing his real opportunity, killed the helpless bird. The moral of the fable? If you envy others, you ll be the one who ends up getting hurt the most. We re continuing in our Soul Detox series. All summer long here at Cornerstone, we re exploring the scriptures to discover how to overcome various influences, emotions and behaviors that we re exposed to in this fallen world toxic influences, emotions, and behaviours that stunt our spiritual growth, and hinder our ability to live out our identity as agents of God s redemptive mission in this world. Today, we re going to consider one of the deadliest spiritual toxins of all envy and God s antidote for it. Here s how I d like to approach the topic this morning: First, we ll take some time to explore what the sin of envy is all about, and why it s so dangerous to our spiritual well-being. Second, we ll look at how to rid our lives on envy. Third, we ll conclude by communing with Jesus and each another over bread and wine at the Lord s Table because more than anything else, it is in feeding on the Lord s nourishing, all-sufficient love that we are set free from envy. So let s dive right in by asking the question, What is envy? For starters, envy might be described as counting another person s blessings instead of your own. Very early in the Bible, God made it quite clear that his people should not be characterized by envy. In the Ten Commandments, God says: You shall not covet your neighbor s house. You shall not covet your neighbor s wife, or his male or female servant, his ox or donkey, or anything that belongs to your neighbor (Ex. 20:17). Envy is resenting others for having what you do not. The great theologian Thomas Aquinas defined envy as sorrow at another s good. Envy is what I feel when I compare myself with others, and perceive that I m losing in the comparison & competition game. Instead of finding my sense of self-worth in God, I try to find it in other sources like in the material possessions I accumulate, or in my social standing, career or academic achievements, or the kudos I get for performing well in whatever it is that I m good at. Envy rises within me when I m trying in to scrape up morsels of self-worth like this from sources other than God, but then someone else gets the morsels I was going for and I resent it. Because envy is fuelled by the comparison and competition game, we are most prone to envy those who are similar to us, whether in temperament, gifts, or position. The envious eagle in the fable did not envy a bear, deer, or a salmon. He envied another eagle. As is true of all eagles, soaring was his game, and he resented the fact that the other eagle could do it better. This week Jan and I were having some renovations done to our kitchen, and while I was very impressed at the quality and speed of the work the contractor and his team were doing, I wasn t envious of their skills. Why? Because my own handyman capabilities are so limited I know full well I could never do what they do. You see, being handy is not my game, and therefore I don t struggle with envy toward those who handier than I am. In fact, I gratefully welcome their help. Some people are really keen on cars. Not me. The only interest I have in cars is basic transportation from A to B. So you could go buy some hot new wheels that would be the envy of every car enthusiast, but not to me, because cars aren t my game. When I was in high school, though, I was pretty decent at playing the trumpet, so I made it my game. I even fantasized about becoming a pro one day. How did I feel then, when two other trumpet players in the school excelled beyond my level? I envied them. I felt a certain sorrow over their success. You see, I had been trying to get morsels of self-worth from being known as a strong trumpet player, but they snatched up the morsels I was going for. You know, most of the time when I preach on sin, it s really hard for me to find examples in my own life because I m such a righteous guy. (Okay, I guess that was too obvious of a joke.) While my delusions of being a serious trumpet player are long gone, I admit that in my weaker moments, I m still plenty capable of envy. The difference is that nowadays, my thing is preaching. It s being a pastor. Did you know it s altogether possible for a pastor to try to find a sense of life, a sense of self-worth in his or her position, ministry performance, or theological knowledge, rather than in Jesus? It s true, and I need to guard my heart against it, and make sure I m looking to Jesus as my one and only source of life. Let it also be said that it s altogether possible for any Christian to try to find a sense of life and self-worth in whatever their ministry happens to be, rather than in the Lord himself. Whether you re a pastor or not, it s possible to make ministry an idol, which is doubly dangerous, because it has the appearance of righteousness. So if I m not careful, every now and then I can have moments of pastorspecific envy. If I m not guarding my heart, I can become envious when folks in the church seek out another pastor for help instead of me. Envy can rise up within me when another pastor gets more positive comments about his sermon than I did. When another church in town is really growing, I might be dismissive of it: Well, they re just mimicking the latest mega-church trends, and they re not really all that solid theologically. I mean, why would I ever think such a thing? Could it be envy? Could it be that instead of seeking life and self-worth in Jesus alone, I m trying to find it in the success of the church I pastor, and therefore am resentful that the church

2 down the street got the morsel I was going for? Because I know that when I m walking close to Jesus, my thoughts are much more likely to sound like this: Praise God that the church down the street is growing! After all, we re all on the Lord s team, so wherever the kingdom advances, it s a win for all of us. The point is, we are most prone to envy those who are similar to us those we perceive to be competing against us in the game we ve chosen to play. If you re playing some other game, I m fine with that, but if you re playing my game, there can be this dark part of me that wants to win. If you re trying to scrape up a sense of life and self-worth by your looks if looks are your idol (your God-substitute) then the person s who s a little more attractive than you is your competition. If cars are your idol, than they guy with the nicer car is your competition. If houses are your idol, then the person with the bigger, nicer house is your competition. If career is your idol, then the person pursuing the same career path as you is your competition. If physical fitness is your idol, then the person who s a bit faster, or a bit more ripped, or a bit stronger, is your competition. If the accumulation of possessions is your idol, then the person who s got a bit more than you do is your competition. If being smart is your idol, than the person whose academic credentials rival yours, or the person who has a bit more knowledge than you, is your competition. When envy grips your heart, you can t be genuinely happy for those you perceive to be beating you in the competition game, no matter how sincere you sound when you say to them, I am so happy for you! Here s the thing: Envy makes you miserable. The Bible says in Proverbs, A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones (14:30). Writer Os Guinness explains that envy is incapable of enjoyment: The more its appetite increases, the more it drives its perpetrator toward perpetual torment. Envy torments us in this way: It keeps us from enjoying what we have, by keeping our focus on what we lack, but others have. Envy only ever affords us a fleeting sense of pleasure when something bad happens to the person we re always comparing ourselves to. Taking pleasure in someone else s misfortune? How ugly is that? That s where envy takes us. We might never admit to it, or even realize it, but I bet we ve all done it. On the surface it may seem like a respectable sin, but some very wise people have gone as far as describing envy as the rabies of the heart and cancer of the psyche. Envy happens when your sense of fairness or justice gets curved in on yourself. Someone else gets the promotion you were hoping for because they were better qualified for the job. You mope, complain and backbite them. Your sense of fairness and justice is curved in on yourself: Why should they have it and not me? When your sense of fairness and justice revolves around you, envy is surely at work. But if someone gets a promotion only because he happens to be a man, and you re a woman, that s a different story. It s a matter of justice. It s not just about you; it s about a wider, systemic issue that affects other people as well. If you want a certain house, and can t afford it, but resent those who can, that s envy. But if the realtor won t show you the house because he knows that the people on that street only want neighbours of a certain skin colour, that s a matter of justice. Yes, it affects you, but the issue s bigger than you are. In the book of Amos, the Bible says, Let justice roll like a river (5:24). God wants his people to have a sense of justice that s not curved in on themselves, but one that looks out for others, and to the fairness of the system. We re supposed to be a people who fight for justice, and that s not possible if we re caught up in envy. We re supposed to be a people known for compassionate, Christ-like love. The greatest commandant, says Jesus, is to love God with all you ve got, and to love others as yourself. But envy is a love-blocker. The Bible says in 1 Corinthians 13, Love does not envy (4). In fact, envy ranks second only to pride among the seven deadly sins, because envy is a gateway sin. It can lead us into all kinds of other sins. We see this throughout the Bible, starting right from the beginning, in Genesis chapter 3. How did the serpent tempt Adam and Eve into rebellion against God? He deceived them into envying God. He said, Hey guys, God is threatened by you, and that s why he won t allow you to eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. God s holding out on you. He knows that if you eat of that tree, you ll be just like him. I mean, if you guys are okay with that arrangement, fine, but you could fix your whole situation by simply taking the fruit of the tree and eating it. Well, they did, and how did that work out? Envy led to the fall of the human race into sin. Then, one chapter later in Genesis 4, what happens? Adam and Eve s sons, Cain and Abel, present offerings to God. Abel s offering is acceptable, but Cain s isn t. In envy of his brother, what does Cain do? He kills Abel! The first murder in human history was the result of envy. Later in Genesis (chapters 37; 39-50), we read about the envy of Joseph s brothers, because, Dad likes Joseph best, and he got a better coat than the rest of us. So what do they do? They sell Joseph into slavery and tell their father that he was killed by wild animals. Now there s a dysfunctional family for you. Later in the Old Testament, we read about how King David, even though he had a whole mess of wives, envied a guy named Uriah, because his wife was the prettiest. It s not fair, you know, for the king to go without the best looking gal. So what does David do? He summons the woman, named Bathsheba, into his bed chamber, gets her pregnant, and ultimately has her husband killed to cover up his indiscretion. Envy often leads to sins of speech, like gossip, slander, and backbiting. As the great 18 th century theologian and church leader John Wesley put it, Gossip is the bastard child of envy. In our dislike of those we envy, we make it our mission to speak about them in such a way as to discredit them, to make others think less of them. If we can t have what they have, we will pull them down with our words. Envy

3 is nasty business. Not only does it make us miserable; it leads to all other kinds of sins as well. No wonder the Bible says in James, For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you will find disorder and every evil practice (3:16; see also verses 13-15). No wonder the Apostle Peter says, Therefore, rid yourselves of all malice and all deceit, hypocrisy, envy, and slander of every kind (1 Peter 2:1, emphasis added). All the sins on this list go hand-in-hand with envy. So the pressing question is: How do we rid ourselves of envy? Now that we ve taken some time to understand what envy is all about and why it s so dangerous, it s time to discuss how to rid ourselves of envy. I have two points to share along these lines. First, quit the comparison & competition game. Each of you should test your own actions, says Galatians 6:4. Then you can take pride in yourself, without comparing yourself to somebody else. Have you ever been in a game and you re getting beaten so badly that you know it s time to just quit? That s the kind of thing I m talking about here. You just have to quit the comparison and competition game altogether, because it is a perilous game that both fuels and is fuelled by envy. It s like gambling. The more you play the game, the more you get drawn into it. The world calls winning in the comparison and competition game fullness of life but the Bible calls it death. Jesus says that the way to get real fullness of life is to die to what the world calls life, and live instead for him: Whoever finds their life [whoever wins the comparison and competition game] will lose it, and whoever loses their life [whoever quits the comparison and competition game] for my sake will find it (Matthew 10:39). You die to trying to scrape up morsels of self-worth from false sources; you die to your idols; you die to aspiring to be defined by what you can acquire, by what you can possess, by your status, by how much recognition you can get, by getting your piece of the pie ; you die to living out of that centre of desperation within you that grasps for life among things that cannot ultimately give life. Ask yourself this question especially those of you who are struggling with this right now aren t you getting tired of it? This comparison and competition game is exhausting! It never ends; it s perpetual. Every day you have to start playing it all over again. Even when you do feel like you re winning, you re still losing, because the wins never last, and therefore they never truly satisfy. Even when you get the morsel of self-worth you were competing for, it s not an unconditional worth and that s what you re really hungry for. It s not a permanent worth and that s what you re really hungry for. It s not a fullness of worth but that s what you re really hungry for. You get taken in by the lie that if you just keep striving, and comparing, and competing, and getting and winning, then maybe you ll finally get fullness of life and self-worth but you won t. I ask you again: Aren t you tired of the comparison and competition game? The only way to get free of envy is to wake up to how stupid, futile, shallow, and empty the whole game really is to even become, in a sense, disgusted with the ridiculousness of it all. This story might help you with that. I heard about this Oprah Winfrey episode featuring women who are obsessed with their looks. Now I m not saying I ever watched Oprah back in the day I just happened to hear about this one episode, that s all. And hey, even if I had ever watched Oprah, I m sure I would have been man enough to handle it. Anyway, one of the guests on this episode was a 40 yearold mom. She was envious of her 17 year-old daughter s looks, and felt she had to compete with her. So she would wear the same clothes that her daughter wore, except what looks cute on a 17 year-old girl does not tend to look cute on a 40 yearold woman. At all. And this woman pulled her hair back really tight to the point where she said it hurt in an effort to hide her wrinkles. It was obvious to everyone else what she was trying to do she had that face-in-a-wind tunnel kind of look. And she had all this special makeup that she put on each day. It would take her 2 hours just to get ready to go to the grocery store. Other people on the show had had liposuction, breast augmentation, butt reduction, lasers, Botox, and all that kind of thing. Now it s fine to want to look your best that s not bad in and of itself but when it comes to define who you are, when your sense of worth and identity hangs on it, and it drives your behaviour, something is really, really wrong. Anyone watching this show would probably have been thinking, Lady, please, just stop. Quit this crazy game that you re playing! And Oprah actually made her do just that. The woman had to take off all of her makeup for 48 hours, and do you know what? She actually looked much better; she was genuinely attractive. There s a beautiful way of being 40, and there s a beauty to being 50, 60, and 70, and so on. It only becomes ugly when you re 40, 50, 60, or 70 and you re trying to look 17. That s not good. That ll backfire on you in a big way. But if you re natural with it, if you flow with the river of life, there s real beauty in that, along with contentment and peace. But this lady was struggling. And here s the thing: If you re trying to hang onto your 17 year-old looks, and that is life to you (and it doesn t just have to be looks; it s whatever your game happens to be) if you re living life playing the comparison and competition game with that morsel of worth as your ultimate goal, guess what? You re gonna lose. And deep down, you know it, which is why you re so miserable. Why would you fight a battle that you can t possibly win? Here s your good news for the morning: Men, women; you re gonna lose. You re gonna lose the looks, you re gonna lose the muscles, you re gonna lose the trim waistline, you re gonna lose the hair, you re gonna lose the teeth, you re gonna lose the nice clothes, you re gonna lose the collectibles, you re gonna lose the house, you re gonna lose the car, you re gonna lose all the stuff you ve been striving to acquire, you re gonna lose your career you came into this world with nothing, and that s exactly what you re going to take out so why fight it? Why resist? It s just not smart. I m hoping to run the Scotiabank Half Marathon this fall for the Cornerstone fundraising team. What would you think of me if I staked all my hope, and self-esteem on winning it? Well, me winning a race like that is never going to

4 happen. Like, ever! You d think something was seriously wrong with me if I chose that as my battle to fight. You d tell me, Steve, don t fight a battle you can t win, and that would be wise counsel. The point is, everyone in this comparison and competition game everyone in this mad scrabble for morsels of worth inevitably loses. Why fight a battle you can t possibly win? There s only one battle, when all is said and done, that you can win, and that s the battle that s been fought for you by Jesus Christ, when he conquered sin, death, and all the powers of evil, opening up the way to God so His life and love and salvation can flow into us and fill us forever. Fight that battle, because not only is it a battle you can win; it s a battle that Christ has already won, and therefore it s a battle you can t possibly lose! In fact, not only do you win, you more than win, because the Bible says in Romans 8 that if you re in Christ Jesus, you re more than a conqueror (37). Now, I ll come back to focus on Jesus as our only source of life and selfworth in a minute. But the first way to rid yourself of envy is to opt out of the comparison and competition game. Die to it. Quit. Start today by saying to God and to yourself, I quit the comparison and competition game. In fact, if you re compelled to, I invite you to repeat after me right now: I quit I quit the comparison game I quit the competition game. And say those words every time you feel envy rise up in you; every time you feel that the game is pulling you in just say, as many times as you need to, I quit. But don t stop there. Because to rid yourself of envy, the next thing you need to do is remember all you have (and especially, what you have in Christ). I love what it says in Psalm 103: Praise the Lord, my soul, and forget not all his benefits who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion, who satisfies your desires with good things so that your youth is renewed like the eagle s (2-5). There s an old hymn that says, Count your blessings; name them one by one; count your many blessings; see what God has done! Rid yourself of envy by choosing to give thanks for all you have, rather than focusing on what you don t have. Our culture conditions us to do just the opposite, doesn t it? Most of us have more material wealth than 95% of the people on the planet, and yet we re still not content; we re still not satisfied; we re still not all that grateful for all that we have. Most of us are fixated on the next thing we re hoping to get, because we ve believed the lie that if we have just a little bit more, then we ll be happy, then we ll have fullness of life. But we ve just quit that game, haven t we? So let s give thanks for what we do have. Let s make that our emphasis. A scripture passage I ve been focusing on a lot lately is Philippians 4:6-7, where Paul says, Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. I ve underscored the words with thanksgiving. Paul is saying that when we face circumstances that could make us anxious, we are to pray about it. We are to present our requests to God, but we are to do so with thanksgiving. It s okay in fact it s necessary to ask God to supply your legitimate needs ( give us this day our daily bread ), but in the process of asking, you must not forget all that you already have. As you ask God to supply your needs, don t forget all that he has already blessed you with. Pray with thanksgiving. If you make thanksgiving a habit, and not just a once a year turkey-eating holiday, you ll be taking a huge step toward overcoming envy. In fact, if you make it a discipline to write down, say, five things that you thank God for each day, then thanksgiving will become a way of life for you, and your heart and life will brim with a sense of God s matchless goodness and grace. This is especially the case when you focus on the spiritual blessings God has lavished on you in Jesus Christ. Focusing on all that he had in Christ was what enabled the Apostle Paul to write these remarkable words, just a few verses after the with thanksgiving verse we just read: I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through [Christ] who gives me strength (Phil. 4:12-13). You can t will to be at peace in every situation on your own strength. But when you understand that Christ s Spirit lives in you, that his power flows through you, now you can do all things, now you can be content in all circumstances, because you re getting life and self-worth from Christ you don t need it from the world. In fact, now you can overflow with compassionate love for others because you re getting everything you need and more from Christ. When that happens, you re free to be the agent of God s mission in this world that he s called you to be. When that happens, you ll be free to rejoice with those who rejoice, and to weep with those who weep, as the Bible exhorts us to do (Rom. 12:15), rather than rejoicing when others weep, and weeping when others rejoice, which is the fruit of envy. And so we re going to prepare ourselves at this time to celebrate the Lord s Supper with all this in mind. Jesus invites you to his Table this morning to feed on him, and to recognize that all that he is not only enough for you, he is more than enough more than enough for every need that you ll ever have, and any circumstance that you ll ever face. He is the one and only source of life, he is the one who gives you an infinite worth that you can never lose, because God thought you were worth the death of his Son. To prepare our hearts for communion, I d like to read a passage of scripture, and as I do, just open your heart wide to God to receive the truth of these words of life into your being. Close your eyes if it helps you to concentrate. When you have Christ, you re rich, and it s so important to focus on all that you have in him. That s exactly the emphasis of these words from Paul in Ephesians chapter 1 (MSG): 3-6 How blessed is God! And what a blessing he is! He s the Father of our Master, Jesus Christ, and takes us to the high places of blessing in him.

5 Long before he laid down earth s foundations, he had us in mind, had settled on us as the focus of his love, to be made whole and holy by his love. Long, long ago he decided to adopt us into his family through Jesus Christ. (What pleasure he took in planning this!) He wanted us to enter into the celebration of his lavish gift-giving by the hand of his beloved Son Because of the sacrifice of the Messiah, his blood poured out on the altar of the Cross, we re a free people free of penalties and punishments chalked up by all our misdeeds. And not just barely free, either. Abundantly free! He thought of everything, provided for everything we could possibly need, letting us in on the plans he took such delight in making. He set it all out before us in Christ, a long-range plan in which everything would be brought together and summed up in him, everything in deepest heaven, everything on planet earth It s in Christ that we find out who we are and what we are living for. Long before we first heard of Christ and got our hopes up, he had his eye on us, had designs on us for glorious living, part of the overall purpose he is working out in everything and everyone It s in Christ that you, once you heard the truth and believed it (this Message of your salvation), found yourselves home free signed, sealed, and delivered by the Holy Spirit. This signet from God is the first installment on what s coming, a reminder that we ll get everything God has planned for us, a praising and glorious life. The Lord s Supper