I. What was the problem in relation to the Church at Ephesus? To the angel of the church of Ephesus write, These things says He who holds the seven
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2 Maintaining First Love in Marriage I. What was the problem in relation to the Church at Ephesus? To the angel of the church of Ephesus write, These things says He who holds the seven stars in His right hand, who walks in the midst of the seven golden lampstands: 2 I know your works, your labor, your patience, and that you cannot bear those who are evil
3 And you have tested those who say they are apostles and are not, and have found them liars; 3 and you have persevered and have patience, and have labored for My name's sake and have not become weary. 4 Nevertheless I have this against you, that you have left your first love. 5 Remember therefore from where you have fallen; repent and do the first works, or else I will come to you quickly and remove your lampstand from its place--unless you repent
4 6 But this you have, that you hate the deeds of the Nicolaitans, which I also hate. 7 He who has an ear, let him hear what the Spirit says to the churches. To him who overcomes I will give to eat from the tree of life, which is in the midst of the Paradise of God. Revelation 2:1-7
5 A. The Church at Ephesus had many positive traits. 1. They were working hard for the Lord. 2. They had correct doctrine. 3. They did not tolerate false teachers. 4. They were very busy with lots of activity.
6 B. The Church at Ephesus had one serious problem they had left their first love. Other translations: But this I have against you you have abandoned your first love. TCNT You no longer love me as you did at the first. LB You have abandon the love that you had at the first. RSV Jesus had foreseen that this would be a problem (Mt. 24:12).
7 C. God addressed this problem with His relationship to His people (Jer. 2:1-2).
8 II. How is this same problem to be seen in marriage? Many married couples have let the activities of life disrupt their first love relationship. A. In many marriages the parties in the marriage are working hard for each other. B. They believe all the right things about how marriage is to work.
9 C. They have lives filled with all kinds of activities mostly surrounding the lives of their children. D. However, they have drifted from their first love.
10 III. What was God s solution to the problem? The solution for the church is the same as the solution for our marriages (Rev. 2:5). A. They were to remember. B. They were to repent. C. They were to do as they once did.
11 IV. What does a first love relationship look like? A. Our first love relationship with the Lord looks something like this. Once we: 1. Thought and talked about the Lord all the times. 2. Tried to please the Lord at all times. 3. Shared our most intimate thoughts, desires and feelings with the Lord. 4. Included the Lord in all our plans, present and future.
12 5. Talked to the Lord as much as possible. 6. Befriended the Lord, speaking only good of the Lord. 7. Loved to be in the presence of the Lord continually. 8. Loved to praise the Lord for even the smallest things. 9. Put the Lord first in all things (selfdenial). 10. Were very sensitive to the feelings of the Lord.
13 B. Our first love relationship in marriage looks very similar. Once we: 1. Thought and talked about the Lord all the time. 2. Tried to please the Lord at all times. 3. Shared our most intimate thoughts, desires and feelings with the Lord. 4. Included the_lord in all our plans, present and future.
14 5. Talked to the Lord as much as possible. 6. Befriended the Lord, speaking only good of the Lord. 7. Loved to be in the presence of the Lord continually. 8. Loved to praise the Lord for even the smallest things. 9. Put the Lord first in all things (selfdenial). 10. Were very sensitive to the feelings of the Lord.
15 What we do to win people is what we must do to keep people.
16 V. What are the promises to and result of those who will maintain their first love? They are restored to the tree of life in their relationship. A. The love relationship becomes progressive. B. Their habits and ways become your habits and ways. C. Their interests become your interests.
17 D. There is always happiness and joy in their presence. E. Others can find life in their relationship. F. The two become one!
18 VI. What are some of the practical ways in which husbands and wives can express their love for each other? A. Ways husbands can love their wives. 1. Arrange a date once a week. 2. Call her from work to ask her out. 3. Give flowers or some other small gift for no reason. 4. Write love notes and hide them for her to find.
19 5. Help her with some of her chores. 6. Allow direct access to any of her calls. 7. Call her during the day for no apparent reason. 8. Treat her with honor and respect. Help on with coat. Open car door Help with chair in restaurants Introduce her properly
20 9. Tell her you love her daily in a creative way. 10. Babysitting for her so that she can do something she likes to do. 11. Fix things that are a concern to her. 12. Praise her in front of others. 13. Pray with her and for her. 14. Ask for her advice and opinions about important issues.
21 15. Thank her for all of her attempts to please you. 16. Change the areas that you know are an annoyance to her. 17. Ask forgiveness when you have been wrong. 18. Go shopping with her and show genuine interest. 19. Take her hand when walking in public or private.
22 20. Treat her relative with respect. 21. Take her out to buy a new outfit. 22. Remind her of the early days of your first love. 23. Tell her of the highlights of your day. 24. Remember her birthday and anniversary. 25. Watch a movie that you know she likes. 26. Respond to her gestures of romance.
23 27. Run errands for her. 28. Give her your full attention when she speaks. 29. Get up for the children at night, letting her sleep on. 30. Play with the children and keep them busy with a game. 31. Keep yourself clean and attractive. 32. Get involved in a ministry together.
24 33. Keep overtime and working late to a minimum. 34. Plan occasional escapes or time away together. 35. Care for her when she is sick. 36. Take an interest in the children s school activities. 37. Go for regular walk with her. 38. Caress and hold her without the desire for sex. 39. Etc. Etc. Etc.
25 B. Ways wives can love their husbands. Many of those things listed above could equally apply to wives. 1. Greeting him when he comes home. 2. Surprise him with unexpected romance. 3. Flirt with him. 4. Tell him what you admire about him. 5. Support him when he tries to please you.
26 6. Sit close to him. 7. Write special notes of love and affection. 8. Participate with him in one of his hobbies or interests. 9. Cooperate with any attempt by him to read the Bible and pray together. 10. Watch your use of money and time. 11. Treat his friends with kindness. 12. Ask him for his advice and opinions.
27 13. Thank him when you notice his attempts to please you. 14. Be punctual. 15. Work on changing things that you know annoy him. 16. Cooking things that you know he likes. 17. Pamper him. 18. Brag about him to others.
28 19. Give him lingering kisses from time to time. 20. Dress the way he likes. 21. Etc. Etc. Etc.
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