A Way Forward: Healthy Conversations September 20, 2017 Pastor Chuck Wilson

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1 1 A Way Forward: Healthy Conversations September 20, 2017 Pastor Chuck Wilson Let s begin with prayer. Thank you for gathering with us tonight to share in holy conversation about some matters that have been very difficult for our society and our beloved church The United Methodist Church. Tonight begins the first of 5 Wednesday nights we will be together. Then after the first of the year, beginning in February, on the 2 nd Monday of each month, I m hopeful we will continue to gather so as to provide a safe space where people can continue to share openly, honestly and respectfully what is on their heart. I m honored and thankful to be sharing these evenings with Rev. Amy Coles, The Assistant to Paul Leeland, the Bishop of the Western North Carolina Conference. Amy, in my humble opinion is the single most respected United Methodist clergyperson in the Carolinas. Join me in welcoming Rev. Amy Coles. So what do we want to do tonight: Well, first of all I want to set some common practices for our time together over the next weeks. I want to do a little United Methodist history with regard to LGBTQ+ issues. I want us to watch a very unique video and some discussion around our tables. And then finally, we will pray a collective prayer that will be our prayer for these gatherings. You might be asking, Okay, Chuck, what s your agenda? Are you trying to change the way I believe on this matter. My answer to that would be no. I simply don t want us as a church to have our head stuck in the sand. AND I want to fiercely protect the unity of this remarkable transforming community. Sound okay? Since the moment God created us and walked among us, we have been connected to God. Since God declared, It is not good that we be alone, we have been connected to each other. That is why the Psalmist declared, How very good and pleasant it is when the people of God live together in unity. Psalm 133:1 Connections matter. The Wilson family gathers every Thanksgiving. We share food, fun, and fellowship together. Family connections remind us where we come from and who we are. They remind us that we are worth beholding even when we feel unworthy. I don t know about your family, but our family has not always agreed. We have Calvinists and Wesleyans. We have North Carolina fans and Duke fans, Alabama and Auburn fans (which in my family carries more weight than theology). But even in the differences, there is something inside all of us that longs for deep, defining connection. This mystical family connection is larger than any individual. How is it that I gain strength, love, peace, and joy from this connection even though we do not agree on all things? Through the last years, there has been a lot of talk of schism with The United Methodist family and among other denominations. Some state, We can t get along on the issues, so let us divide our assets and go our separate ways. That sounds like divorce to me. I am amazed at how easily we will throw around the idea of amicable separation, as if any separation of one body can be amicable. Try convincing anyone it is in their best interest to be split in half. Christians are a family. Bishop Paul Leeland was with us a few months ago in this room and he reminded us that United Methodists are family. We are not a perfect family no family is. There are the good aunts, the obnoxious uncles, grandpas who tell the same stories every year, young cousins who think they know it all, mothers who always have a place for us, and fathers who stumble over words attempting to articulate their love. In spite of all the differences we are one.

2 Some say it is impossible to live with deep differences. But I don t think the Bible teaches that. In Ephesians 4, the Apostle Paul writes, making every effort to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. I Peter 3:8 states, All of you, have unity of spirit. I have not been able to determine how Christians can use Scripture to justify breaking apart the body of Christ, but we continue to argue that right is more important than reconciled. I m hoping that our great witness at Matthews United Methodist will be to reveal how we live together with differences. There is too much fear and isolation in the world without the church contributing to the disconnection. Jesus came to do away with that. Let us be the church that stands strongly for what we believe while proclaiming our unity. As for me, I will stand with my family. I will stand with you even those of you I may not see eye to eye with. I have so many hopes and dreams for this beautiful church called Matthews United Methodist as I m sure you do as well. And one of my hopes is that this church will be a light set on a hill, especially as it concerns some of the deep divides in our society. Too often, however, many churches have reflected the divisions of our culture rather than the unity we have in the body of Christ. So, tonight, we come together to urge those who claim the name of Jesus to put away from you all bitterness and wrath and anger and wrangling and slander, together with all malice, and be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ has forgiven you (Ephesians 4:31-32). So as we gather around our tables tonight, let s covenant together. Let s remind ourselves each week of what we commit to do and then let s conclude with a common prayer. So, first of all, let s commit that our dialogue with each other will reflect the spirit of the Scriptures, where our posture toward each other is to be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry (James 1:19). Let s believe that each of us, and our fellow church participants, are created in the image of God. The respect we owe to God should be reflected in the honor and respect we show to each other, particularly in how we speak to each other. With it (the tongue) we bless the Lord and Father, and with it we curse those who are made in the likeness of God this ought not to be so (James 3:9, 10). Let s pledge that when we disagree, we will do so respectfully, without impugning the other s motives, attacking the other s character, or questioning the other s faith, and the recognize in humility our limited human opinions, We see but a poor reflection as in a mirror (I Corinthians 13:12). We will therefore Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love (Ephesians 4:2). Let s also be mindful of the language we use in expressing our disagreements, being neither arrogant nor boastful in our beliefs: Before destruction one s heart is haughty, but humility goes before honor (Proverbs 18:12). Let s recognize that we cannot function together as participants in Matthews United Methodist unless we are mindful of how we treat each other in pursuit of the common good in the common life we share together. Each of us must therefore Put off falsehood and speak truthfully to his neighbor, for we are all members of one body (Ephesians 4:25). Let s commit to pray for those with whom we may agree, as well as those with whom we may disagree. I urge that supplications, prayers, intercessions, and thanksgivings be made for all who are in high positions (I Timothy 2:1-2). Let s believe that it is more difficult to think badly of people when we 2

3 3 are praying for them so that together we may strive to be faithful witnesses to our Lord, who prayed that they may be one (John 17:22). Finally, when it comes to our common covenant practices, let s pledge to God and to each other that we will lead by example in a world where civil discourse seems to have broken down. Let s pledge to model a better way in how we treat each other. Let s commit to create in Matthews United Methodist a safe and sacred space for common prayer and discussion as we come together to discern God s will for our church. I ve been around you enough over the last few months to know that is your heart. So let s begin tonight with a brief overview of how we got to where we are in The United Methodist Church in Now let s face it: no one really knows what s going to happen over the next few years within The United Methodist Church. Division? Restructuring? Fragmentation? Slow demise? Despite widespread conjecture and one or two wild conspiracy theories, your guess is as good as mine. So what I want to offer you tonight are some rather scattered thoughts on where we ve been in the last years and what brought us to today. First of all, American Methodism began and flourished as a movement with a very clear set of doctrines, a very thin book of discipline, a very high set of expectations for discipleship and a very real struggle with slavery and racism. We failed in that struggle, and some of the divisions have been with us ever since. Secondly, there have always been multiple streams of theological diversity in American Methodism: revivalism, the social gospel, process theology, and theologies of liberation. We have been able to live together with theological differences, while affirming a doctrinal core. This is the distinction made in the Book of Discipline between our doctrinal standards and our theological task. The point I want to make here is that we have always been a church with differing theological perspectives; yet, we are united by a rich and deep understanding of the grace of God that leads to sanctification which is itself God s gift and the means of grace that form us as disciples. Thirdly, largely through migration and missionary movements, American Methodism came to align with other Methodists in Europe and to establish churches in Africa and the Philippines. At the same time, our relationships with churches in Latin America and the Caribbean are more loosely defined, as these bodies are autonomous. Still, we engage in mission and prayer together (two examples would be Cuba and Haiti). At present, the global body that is The United Methodist Church is present in the United States, Africa, the Philippines and Europe. Our process for decision-making is aligned with membership. This decision-making occurs every four years at a General Conference. Methodists have met in conferences since our very beginning. Fourthly, because of our impasse on definitions and practices related to LGBTQ+ identity and implications for the unity of the church, the 2016 General Conference in Portland called for a special General Conference to focus exclusively on this matter. This was seen as a more faithful and helpful alternative than the more efficient practice of taking up these questions in a few minutes, when the outcomes are of such great concern to so many. This called special General Conference included provision for a group to prepare the church for this work. The group is the Commission on a Way Forward, 32 persons who come from across the globe in approximate proportion to our membership and diversity. This Commission will meet nine times, and its purpose is to prepare the larger church for decision-making that will help us to find a way forward, beyond our present impasses.

4 Next, as the Commission does its work, life in the church goes on, in all of its diversity, confusion and disagreement. At the same time protest and renewal movements continue to do their work. The media (social and otherwise) often exacerbate the divisions and ignore the much greater reality of a common ground. Next, for some the present denominational work is a distraction. For others it is for the purpose of clarifying who we are as United Methodists. Some see a future for our church only through a definition of orthodoxy that includes traditional understandings of marriage and ordination. Others see a future for our church that is fully inclusive of persons in same-gender marriage and open to the gifts of LGBTQ+ persons in ordained ministry. And yet others hope for a future United Methodist Church that can include both traditional and progressive practices. Finally, with regard to this brief overview of how we got to where we are, the report of the Commission on a Way Forward and the actions of the called General Conference will provide a blueprint for the future of United Methodism. The General Conference s decisions in 2019 and 2020 will shape the church in a more substantive way and will define our capacity to find a way forward. So, keeping that as a background, I want to invite all of you tonight who love The United Methodist Church and seek a future with hope to consider the following: I want to invite you to consider to not be quick to assume the worst about denominational leaders and advocates for renewal; many of them are devoted United Methodist Christians to their core. I want to invite you to consider that there are LGBTQ+ persons in Matthews United Methodist and their gifts are a great blessing to the church and the world. I want to invite you to consider that United Methodists are a big tent. Our denomination has always provided room for theological and biblical tension. I see this as a strength and not a weakness. Too often we are too quick to try to solve problems with pronouncements, when what we really need is civil discourse and the ability to love each other and disagree with each other. As I mentioned earlier, like every family we have crazy cousins and calm peacemakers, but that is what being the family of God is about. I want to invite you to consider that United Methodists have always been willing to have difficult discussions. Don t get me wrong, there are people on every side of every issue that would rather scream, yell and throw rocks than enter into prayer times of discernment and discussion. This is incredibly frustrating for those of us who struggle with maintaining our evangelical faith and our social witness. I am glad that I serve within a tradition that doesn t expect everyone to follow divine pronouncements from on high. Instead we enter into difficult times of discussion where we pray, listen, debate, practice holy conferencing, and strive to listen to the voice of God. Having these difficult discussions actually allows us to discover the truth at much deeper levels. I want to invite and remind you once again to consider that United Methodists are far from perfect. There are people that I love dearly and disagree with completely. But in the end I love The United Methodist Church, I believe in the power of the Holy Spirit to help us overcome the humanness of our church and guide us to continue to do all the good we can, in all the ways we can, wherever we can and to continue to proclaim the Gospel of Jesus around the corner and around the world. Finally, I want to invite you to consider taking the life of our denomination, one day at a time, to trust in the slow work of God and to seek God s will through a process that, yes, does take a very long time. God is no hurry to get us to the promised land. 4

5 5 Now, I ve got a wonderful video for you to watch from Rev. Tom Berlin. Tom is a member of the Commission on the Way Forward. If Rev. Berlin were here tonight he would tell us that during the video he uses the language of LGBTQ+ inclusion. This was the language the Commission on a Way Forward determined was the best, most inclusive language rather than issues of human sexuality. Rev. Berlin would also emphasize that the four zones he presents here are offered only for the purpose of conversation about inclusion in marriage and ordination. He says, just because you are a progressive or traditionalist on these issues does not mean you will be predictably that way on all social issues. We are intelligent people and no one likes to be put in a box. Finally, according to Rev. Berlin, this schema is applied only to United Methodists in the United States. At the end of the presentation he will talk about United Methodists who live in Africa and Asia as well. Follow this link to read Rev. Berlin s article and scroll down to view the video: Discussion Questions As you listen to Rev. Berlin s presentation, reflect upon Matthews United Methodist and where you think our center of gravity might be. Then secondly, where do you find yourself with regard to the framework laid out by Rev. Berlin? A Prayer for The United Methodist Church and The Commission on A Way Forward What follows is a prayer with which I d like us to conclude our gatherings. Let s pray together: Gracious God, you are the source of all life and giver of all good and perfect gifts. Through your Son, Jesus Christ, and with your Holy Spirit, you have drawn us together to be your church, to be a witness to the world of your glory, to reflect your love, and to convey your grace. We thank you especially for The United Methodist Church, and its ongoing commitment to both social holiness and vital piety. We remember that your desire is for us to be in relationships with one another that are life giving and soul renewing. Yet, we have allowed our kinship to others to be defined more by our differences than by our commonalities. Forgive us, O God, for our thinking, conditioned in us by a culture beset by winners and losers. Show us the way of love, which is the only way that saves and the only basis for relationships in your kingdom. O God, we pray for your church. We pray for those who have been marginalized by Christians on the basis of their sexual orientation. We pray for a return to Biblical literacy as a standard for discipleship. We pray for a renewal of the church's witness, that it may not be governed by culture, but a transformer of it. We pray for the people called Methodist, that as your Spirit guides each of us toward perfection in love, we might move closer to holiness in heart and life. Over the days ahead, illuminate my heart through prayer, and guide me in praying for The Commission on a Way Forward. And show me how I might make your love real in ways that reach, teach, praise and serve both significant and small, for the sake of your kingdom. Amen.