How To Handle Problem People (Learning From the Master)

Transcription

1 MESSAGE FOR SUNDAY NIGHT, JUNE 6, 2010 CHRISTIAN HOPE CHURCH OF CHRIST, PLYMOUTH, NORTH CAROLINA by Reggie A. Braziel, Minister How To Handle Problem People (Learning From the Master) LUKE 11: When Jesus left there, the Pharisees and the teachers of the law began to oppose him fiercely and to besiege him with questions, 54 waiting to catch him something he might say. INTRODUCTION My dad always used to say, I don t hate anyone, but if I ever start, I ve got the guy picked out. It didn t take us too long in life to discover some people are very difficult to get along with. In fact, some people are virtually impossible to get along with. Perhaps it s a relative or someone at work or maybe even someone in the Church. We will always have PROBLEM PEOPLE with us. ILLUSTRATION: John Maxwell tells this funny true story about what he used to do to relieve the stress caused by one of his problem church members. The guy s name was RALPH. Maxwell said, When I reached the limit of my patience with RALPH, I would go out to our local golf course. I would take a golf ball out of bag and write RALPH S name on it. Then I would take out my DRIVER TEE RALPH UP..the FAIRWAY is that way.the WOODS is that way, I would aim for the woods and as I was swinging my club I would say, See you later Ralphy baby! I m telling you, it was almost like getting saved all over again.

2 Some of the best shots I ever made in my life involved knocking Ralph to the woods. But one day I was playing golf with a buddy. He saw me write Ralph s name on the golf ball and line up for the woods. He said, John, the fairway is that way! I said, I know, I know. Then I swung with all my might and said, Hasta lavista Ralphy baby. The ball hit a tree and came right back at me and landed at my feet. I reached down, picked Ralph up and put him back in my golf bag. I learned a valuable lesson that day: Some people you just can t get rid of. Now I m not a betting man. Never have been, never will be. But if I were, I would bet if I gave you a golf ball and a Sharpee pen, everyone of you could think of the name of at least one person you would write on your golf ball. Think of that one person who gets under your skin more than any other.. *You have tried IGNORING them. *You have tried ARGUING with them. *You have tried to CHANGE them. *You ve tried PRAYING for them. *You ve tried AVOIDING them. *You ve even tried to ACCEPT them just as they are. And yet no matter how hard you have tried, every time you are around that person you feel your blood boiling and your blood pressure rising. Why did GOD put people like that on the earth? Why didn t GOD create everybody to be as likeable and loveable as you and me?

3 Did you ever stop to consider ALL THE PROBLEM PEOPLE in Jesus life? *Of course when you think of PROBLEM PEOPLE Jesus had to deal with THE PHARISEES are the first to come to mind. They were always snooping around, watching over Jesus shoulder to see what he was up to. They falsely accused him...they criticized him...and they were constantly sitting traps for him. But the Pharisees weren t the only ones who caused Jesus problems. * In Matthew 2 we read where KING HEROD caused problems for JESUS even when Jesus was just a baby when he decreed that all Jewish males two years old and under be slaughtered. *In Mark 6, we read about the REJECTION Jesus got from his hometown people in Nazareth. *In Mark 3, we read the account where JESUS own family thought he was crazy. *In John 2, we read where some merchants caused problems for JESUS when they turned the temple into a marketplace. *In each of the four Gospels, we read the account of JUDAS betraying Jesus for 30 pieces of silver. Jesus had to deal with PROBLEM PEOPLE throughout His time here on earth. The question is this: HOW DID HE DO IT? This evening as we look at how JESUS handled the problem people in His life, we can learn some valuable insights as to how to deal with the problem people in our own lives.

4 PRINCIPLE 1: Jesus Avoided Unnecessary Confrontations LUKE 4: All the people in the synagogue were furious when they heard this. They got up, drove him out of the town, and took him to the brow of the hill on which the town was built, in order to throw him down the cliff. But he walked right through the crowd and went on his way. 1. Where was this dreadful place where the people wanted to push Jesus over a cliff? It was none other than his hometown of Nazareth. Jesus had been speaking in the synagogue and for the first time, Jesus revealed to his hometown people, the nature of his mission on earth. 2. The people of Nazareth just couldn t accept the fact that this hometown boy this son of Joseph the carpenter was a prophet sent by God to save the world from their sins. 3. Jesus words infuriated the people so much they turned on him and tried to kill him. How did Jesus respond? verse 30 But he walked right through the crowd and went on his way. JESUS AVOIDED AN UNNECESSARY CONFRONTATION.

5 Illustration: One day a PREACHER looked out his LIVING ROOM window and saw HELEN JOHNSON pull up in his driveway. The preacher wasn t particularly fond of Mrs. Johnson, because it seemed like she always had a complaint or criticism to discuss. Well to avoid Mrs. Johnson, the preacher ran to the upstairs bathroom and locked the door, leaving his wife downstairs to deal with Mrs. Johnson. About an hour later, the preacher came out of the bathroom and hollored to his wife, Honey, has that old goat left yet? Yes dear his wife replied, she left a long time ago, I m here with Mrs. Johnson now. 4. There s a lot of old goats who seem to delight in dragging us into arguments and confrontations. By his own example, Jesus teaches us that sometimes we have to have the wisdom to know when to just walk away from a confrontation. 5. How can you tell when a confrontation is unnecessary? First, consider the source. Avoid unnecessary confrontations with people who love to argue just for the sake of arguing. Never get into a battle of wits with an un-armed man. Two, Avoid unnecessary confrontations with those people who always believe they are right and have no respect for your thoughts and feelings. You can be sure there is nothing to be gained by engaging in a verbal battle with these kinds of people

6 PRINCIPLE 2: Jesus Never Wasted Time Answering His Critics LUKE 6: 22, 23 Blessed are you when men hate you, when they exclude you, when they exclude you and insult you and reject your name as evil, because of the Son of Man. Rejoice in that day and leap for joy, because great is your reward in heaven. For that is how their fathers treated the prophets. 1. Jesus was slandered. He was falsely accused. They said he was possessed by demons. He was criticized.. for healing on the Sabbath for eating with Tax collectors and sinners. And he was even accused of being a glutton and a wino. 2. CRITICS were always hurling their stones at Jesus. But Jesus never allowed it to change his opinion of himself. JESUS knew who he was...he knew what he was all about...and he believed in himself. HE knew his accusers didn t really know him and that they spoke in ignorance and malice. 3. JESUS NEVER WASTED TIME ANSWERING HIS CRITICS! ILLUSTRATION: How many of you can remember the old Amos and Andy Radio Program? Believe it or not I actually heard some of those old programs when I was a young boy. In one of their routines, AMOS was always thumping ANDY in the chest...and it just irritated the daylights out of Andy. One day ANDY came up with a plan. He said, I ll fix him, I ll strap this dynamite to my chest and the next Amos thumps me on the chest, he ll blow his hand off.

7 4. We all have our CRITICS who are always thumping us with their finger of criticism...and trying to answer our critics accomplishes about as much as strapping dynamite to our own chest to get back at the one who is thumping us. 5. Let me ask you something. WHO KNOWS YOU BETTER THAN YOU? *Don t let the criticism of your critics change your opinion of yourself. *Realize there is some criticism that is good for you...while other criticism is bad. *Learn the difference between the CRITICISM of a FRIEND who is trying to build you up... and the CRITICISM of an enemy who is trying to tear you down. 6. Remember It s not what other people think about you that is important...but what you believe about yourself. If you allow the criticism of others to define who you are as a person, those critics will always have power and control over you! 7. By His own example, JESUS teaches us NOT TO WASTE TIME ANSWERING OUR CRITICS.

8 PRINCIPLE 3: Jesus Loved The Problem Causer, But Not The Problems They Caused MARK 8: He then began to teach them that the Son of Man must suffer many things and be rejected by the elders, chief-priests and teachers of the law, and that he must be killed and after three days rise again. He spoke plainly about this, and Peter took him aside and began to rebuke him. But when Jesus turned and looked at his disciples, he rebuked Peter, Get behind me, Satan! he said. You do not have in mind the things of God, but the things of men. 1. Of all the principles we learn from Jesus about dealing with Problem People, this is perhaps the most important. On many occasions before...jesus had hinted to his disciples that there would come a time when he would suffer for the sins of the world. Now for the very first time, JESUS speaks in the most straightforward terms about his death, burial and resurrection. This was WHY Jesus came here......this was the REASON he had left heaven. 2. Thinking he was doing JESUS a big favor...peter pulled JESUS aside and started rebuking him about all this talk about a crucifixion. But what PETER thought was HELPING CHRIST was in reality HINDERING HIM. Jesus turned to Peter and said sternly, Get behind me Satan!

9 3. Did JESUS love Peter? Of course he did! Did JESUS love the PROBLEMS Peter was causing? No, He did not! 4. Many people believe that Christians are supposed to just spinelessly let people walk all over us, no matter how many problems they cause us...after all, didn t Jesus teach us to just turn the other cheek? 5. By Jesus own example, we learn that you can set boundaries...you can insist on correct behavior...you can rebuke the problem causer...you can even sever any close contact with the person who persistently causes us problems and yet still LOVE THEM WITH THE LOVE OF CHRIST. 6. As Christians, we can and should LOVINGLY set limits on just how much control of our time, our energy and our emotions we will allow the PROBLEM CAUSER to have over us. If someone is causing you so much trouble and so many problems that its all you talk about and all you think about, there comes a time you must handle the situation firmly, yet lovingly...just AS JESUS DID.

10 CONCLUSION A reporter was interviewing an old man on his 100th birthday. "What are you most proud of?" he asked. "Well, " said the man, "I don't have an enemy in the world." "What a beautiful thought! How inspirational!" said the reporter. "Yep," added the centenarian, "outlived every last one of them." I hate to tell you this, but chances are you and I won t outlive all our enemies or the people who get under our skin the most. -You can move from ONE PLACE to another. -You can move from ONE JOB to another. -You can move from ONE CHURCH to another. It doesn t matter where you go, there will ALWAYS be DIFFICULT PEOPLE to deal with. Since we can t totally rid our lives of them, we must learn how to HANDLE them in a way that honors JESUS CHRIST and at the same time keeps them from controlling us and holding us as emotional prisoners. (NEXT PAGE)

11 And the best way to do that is to follow the example of Christ Himself. JESUS AVOIDED UNNECESSARY CONFRONTATIONS.and so should we. JESUS NEVER WASTED TIME ANSWERING HIS CRITICS and neither should we. JESUS LOVED THE PROBLEM CAUSER, BUT NOT THE PROBLEMS THEY CAUSED!..and so must we! I leave you with these words of Christ from Matthew 6:43,44 You have heard that it was said, Love your neighbor and hate your enemy. But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.

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