February 4, UPAYA INSTITUTE ZEN CENTER Santa Fe, New Mexico

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1 February 4, 2008 UPAYA INSTITUTE ZEN CENTER Santa Fe, New Mexico In 1978 when I was eating 150 calories a day and weighed 80 pounds, no one knew to call it anorexia... We didn t have those labels then, and, though they are helpful, the names themselves give us the illusion that we can get the upper hand; that we can deal with it. But this illusion itself is an illness, and everyone s got it. It s called believing we can control the future by what we eat, or weigh, or accomplish now. The alternative --- understanding that we are not in charge --- is utterly humbling and leaves us unbearably vulnerable. --- Geneen Roth, No Matter What We Eat (from The Sun magazine) In the deep cold of winter practice period, Upaya's guests and residents walked across the ice in the dark at both dawn and dusk to show up and just sit. "It's about surrender," Roshi Joan said and she used the word "mandala" to help us locate ourselves in our spiritual and physical space. Just as great painted mandalas include all the contradictions of the world, so our experience this month contained the extremes of life and death. The first day, Mary Dolma Tamang was born beautiful and healthy to Dawa and Hiumaya after difficult months of prayer and worry over the health of her heart. A few weeks later, Ted Heffernan, a close friend and student of Roshi's, died suddenly and tragically after a minor surgical procedure. As we witnessed these events, the words of Zen Master Dogen were spoken to us by Dogen scholar and translator, Kazuaki Tanahashi: We should understand that the practice of the way is no other than seeing into birth and death. Yet our practice is not bound by birth and death. Days before our Dogen study, we had approached zazen from the radically different perspective of modern science which, in a historic convergence, now comes full circle to examine the subjectivity of contemplation through the objective study of the brain. "I" meets "It" and begins to create a brand new "We." What a paradoxical meeting! Our brains were dizzy with information and we needed both physical and mental kinhin which was unexpectedly provided by the weather. At one break we left the zendo in our bare feet to discover our empty and waiting shoes filling up with snow. Aha! Each retreat ends in a closing consel when everyone speaks their hearts and minds. We answer the question, "What do I take away from this of lasting

2 value?" Without exception we conclude in mutuality and gratitude, acknowledging how wonderful it is to practice together. Then there was more. The screening of the documentary on the Rape of Nanjing showed those who choose to watch it the extreme opposite of human generosity - our unfathomable and unthinkable cruelty to each other. In response to this horror, Kazuaki Tanahashi's great project, "A World Without Armies" has the immense purpose of reconciling the crimes between the Japanese and the Chinese by bringing these two countries together to tell the truth of what happened and to apologize and forgive. This project is truly a mandala of life and death, showing up and surrender, ugliness and beauty and the triumph of the best in ourselves over the worst of ourselves. For more information go to or info@aworldwithoutarmies.org. Somehow, even with this, we ended the whole month in joy and creativity. Using huge calligraphy brushes dripping with brilliant color, we painted our minds as freedom and movement. Every painting was a mandala of life. In the end, no summing up is possible; we can only witness it all. Awaken! Awaken! Take heed! Do not squander your life. Wednesday, February 6th DHARMA TALK at 5:30pm in the zendo will be given by Vice Abbot Beate Stolte. Zazenkai, Saturday FEBRUARY 16TH, lead by Beate Stolte. This day-long silent meditation retreat provides us with the experience of deep periods of uninterrupted meditation. We do sitting and walking meditation throughout the day, one hour of work practice, three informal meals and a dharma talk in the afternoon. Beate will hold interviews, and meditation instruction is available for those new to practice. ================ >> DATE CHANGES FOR MARCH AND APRIL EVENTS - Zazenkai will be held on April 12th (originally scheduled for April 5th) - Introduction to Chaplaincy will happen April 2-10 (originally scheduled for April 4-10) - Thinking Like a System is now scheduled for April 3-6 (originally scheduled for April 10-13) - Cancellation - The Non-Dual Dimension of Life - with Matt Flickstein has been cancelled.

3 ================ UPCOMING RETREATS February 21-24, 2008: The Nature of Council. Gigi Coyle. A training program for those who wish to become council facilitators, council spans diverse cultures and religions. It offers a way of communicating that encourages attentive listening and honest, compassionate expression. This intensive training introduces a variety of council forms, for use in schools, business, service organizations, monasteries, communities and families. Gigi Coyle, co-author of The Way of Council is renowned for her work in schools and social teaching organizations. Cost: $360, plus lodging. February 28 March 2, 2008 THE JOURNEY WITHIN WOMEN S RETREAT WITH SURYA LITTLE & ELESA COMMERCE at Upaya Zen Center in Santa Fe, New Mexico Come immerse yourself in a women s retreat with master teachers Surya Little and Elesa Commerse as we journey within to the land of self-blessing. Everyday you will be guided in therapeutic, restorative asana and will learn meditative techniques for self-renewal. Our time together will be punctuated with infusions from the natural world: Japanese flower arranging, Japanese tea ceremony and releasing our cares and concerns to the waters at 10,000 Waves. Reserve your space early and begin to look forward to activating your Inner Resource. Thursday, Friday, Saturday 9am 12pm and 1:30 4:30; Sunday, 9am 12pm. TUITION: $595.00; does not include meals and accommodations at the waters at 10,000 Waves. REGISTRATION: please call Prajna Yoga directly at March 7-9, 2008: FUNDRAISING FROM THE HEART. Lynne Twist This workshop, taught by one of the leading experts on philanthropy, equips non-profit leaders with the skills needed to transform fund development efforts. Tailor-made for small non-profits, it focuses on donor development, annual campaigns, and fundraising in general. We examine the sacred art and science of fundraising and develop a new ability to raise funds from and for the heart of your organization s mission. Lynne Twist believes that fundraising is an opportunity to deepen one s own principles and strengthen the integrity of one s organization. Intended for executive directors and board members. There is time for dialogue and conviviality. Generously supported by an

4 anonymous donor, Upaya offers this workshop at a reduced fee. Cost: $270, plus lodging. April 3-6, 2008: THINKING LIKE A SYSTEM: How to Intervene in a System for Social Change, Merle Lefkoff, Ph.D, John Goekler For many of us, the greatest challenges to living our principles arise in the social systems of which we are a part, such as our families, communities and work places. This training blends complexity science and Buddhist principles to guide our interventions in these systems to foster positive social change. Drawing on emerging work in physics, neuroscience, biology and systems dynamics, we examine how the alignment of spiritual practice with science can open space for joyous collaboration and creativity, and give deeper meaning to all our endeavours. Just as attraction and repulsion need each other, our goal is to accept the deep sense of powerlessness that many of us feel when confronted with oppressive structures, and recommit our efforts with wholeheartedness to a skilful transformation process. Merle Lefkoff a Ph.D in Political Science, has been involved in peacemaking and mediation efforts in some of the most troubled places on Earth. John Goekler integrates emerging understandings in physics, neurobiology, systems dynamics and complexity science with spiritual traditions Being With Dying trainings: April 25 - May 2, July 10-13, October 1-5. Early registration is advised. ================ SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENTS - Roshi Joan is in need of a vehicle and she would love to find a donated 4WD Forrunner, X-Terra, or pick-up truck that can get her reliably up to Prajna and around town. The Toyota is no longer viable, so even a sedan on loan for local errands would be WONDERFUL. Please call or with any helpful ideas. Misa Myokei Sasaki attends Denver Street Retreat and requests your support. Hello, everyone. Thank you so much for supporting our lives in so many ways at Upaya. I m joining the Denver Street Retreat in the beginning of March led by Fleet Maull, the director of the Colorado Peace Maker Institute and one of Roshi Joan's students. To reserve my place on the retreat, I would like to raise $108 at least, which will be used for the St. Francis Day Shelter, the Namaste Hospice, the Colorado Peacemaker Institute, and my Greyhound bus ticket. My intention to participate came from the sense of urgency around this

5 question: How and what can I bring of what I ve been learning at Upaya for these two years to the lives outside of Upaya? Each of you has been teaching me a lot, and slowly but surely, I m getting ready to step out into a larger community where I can give to others. I will accept money and checks and then, as soon as I come back from the retreat, I will report here what my experience was like and what my vision and aspiration for the future is going to be. Thank you so much again for your support. Putting my right and left hand together as one, Myokei Misaki Sasaki. Roshi Enkyo O'Hara also leads a trip to Japan this year. For details please read the attachment. ================ ENGAGED BUDDHISM METTA COUNClL - Living with Illness Tuesdays from 10:30 a.m. to noon--a weekly group for people who are ill, their partners, caregivers, hospice volunteers, nurses, and anyone interested in exploring issues around living, sickness aging and death. Beginning around 12:05 p.m. until 1:00 p.m. the group engages in contemplative writing. This is not a writing group per se but rather an alternative way of exploring what is alive for people in the moment. No previous writing experience is needed, just a willingness to be fully present. Please call Jean at or jean@upaya.org for more information. PRISON OUTREACH PROJECT Volunteers in the Prison Outreach Project offer weekly mindfulness instruction classes in three correctional facilities: Central New Mexico Adult Correctional Facility, Santa Fe Youth Development Facility, and the Santa Fe County Adult Detention Facility. These classes provide inmates with a way to reduce the stress of their time in prison and to encourage a shift in thought and behavior patterns away from violence and harming. Studies show that this training reduces violent behavior among inmates as well as between inmates and corrections staff, preparing them to re-enter society without relapsing into addiction and ending back in prison. Persons interested in working inside with prison residents are warmly welcomed. Volunteers may choose to train and work in the Santa Fe County

6 Youth Development Center or in the SF County Adult Detention Center. There is a defined training program, in which a volunteer works as a co-facilitator with a trainer at weekly group meetings. Volunteers who choose to work with youths are invited to contact Susan Benjamin at ArtTherapy@aol.com; those who desire to work with groups of adult inmates should contact Ray Olson at nanrayols@aol.com. A volunteer commitment of several months to one year s services is requested. Since the first of this year, a number of inmates from around the country have written asking for information about meditation or Zen practice. Several of these inmates have requested participation in our Pen-Pal Program which provides information about spiritual practice, meditation and Zen practice, and assistance in setting up a Buddhist meditation group in their prison. In the past eighteen months, 15 volunteer Sangha members have engaged in correspondence with prison residents. The hyper-masculine ethos of prison life often makes sharing personal thoughts and feelings with another man taboo, so we are especially in need of female volunteers for the Pen-Pal Program as some inmates feel much more comfortable talking about their inner feelings of anger and isolated loneliness with a woman. If you would like to participate as a volunteer in the Pen-Pal program, please call Ray at 505/ or him at nanrayols@aol.com The following letter is from a prisoner in Texas who found himself deeply nourished by the Dharma. "I am one of the prisoners in the United States who is lucky enough to receive Turning Wheel. I have long been an activist trying to help others. But activism in such an oppressive environment, where authorities often react in anger and violence, sometimes brings harsh consequences. I have a few scars to prove it. Of course, it s not as severe as what the brave monks and nuns faced recently in Burma, but for a setting in the United States, it could be surprising. On October 6, I was being escorted back to my cell from my hour of recreation. I was handcuffed behind my back as is policy by an officer. Another officer walked up and aggressively grabbed my arm and tried to push me around. A minute or two later, other officers ran up and grabbed me too. I was escorted, not to my cell, but to a level 3 cell. All of my personal property was taken. This includes all books, including a Bible, all magazines, all educational materials, even writing supplies. As I sat in my empty, filthy, stinky, uncomfortable level 3 cell, growing more despondent as my anger faded, I began to realize that I needed something. The mail was passed out. An officer slid under my door the latest Turning Wheel, the one on nourishment. I began reading the first article, from Zenju Earthlyn Manuel, and jumping from the page was the

7 line, There s no need to cling to the external pleasurable things for a joyful life. All of my things are taken and in my hands drops Turning Wheel and wisdom on that very issue. Then I read Phrases for Nourishing Equanimity written by Joan Halifax Roshi. My starving spirit in crisis was nourished by Turning Wheel. So I sit in my empty cell, myself no longer empty. Thank you for the Turning Wheels and all your efforts to improve the world." Sonny Wilson, Texas ================ VOLUNTEER OPPORTUNITIES Upaya is always grateful for a helping hand. We have volunteer opportunities in the office, kitchen, and housekeeping, and there is the possibility of earning retreat credit (up to 80% of the total cost of a retreat) for hours volunteered. If you are interested, please call Roberta at ext. 2 or registrar@upaya.org ROSHI JOAN HALIFAX ON THE WEB Roshi Joan discusses dharma, offers koanic poetry, considers the works of Ken Wilber, William Irwin Thompson, and Francisco Varela, and brings us into her lifestream. To find out more, go to This complements her Flickr photo site, where she constantly adds new photos of current Upaya happenings, as well as some great archival photos of her life. * The Chinese filmmaker Kam Sung has made a fascinating and visually poetic account of Roshi Joan in Tibet and her teachings, which you can view here: video.google.com/videoplay This is a low-resolution video; a high-resolution version on DVD will be available shortly, which you can order from Upaya. Roshi's new book, Being with Dying: Cultivating Compassion and Fearlessness in the Presence of Death. It can be pre-ordered from Amazon: The book is a powerful exploration of nearly 40 years of contemplative work with dying people. Her 6-CD series on Being with Dying (from Sounds True Audio) is now available. Call to order. Also, the Upaya bookstore has a number of Roshi's dharma talks on DVD, including one with Brother David. We are happy to make this wonderful series available to you. Please call the front office for titles and ordering. --

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Meditation is not a means to an end. It is both the means and the end. Krishnamurti

February 11, 2008 UPAYA INSTITUTE ZEN CENTER Santa Fe, New Mexico 505-986-8518 upaya@upaya.org www.upaya.org Meditation is not a means to an end. It is both the means and the end. Krishnamurti COMMUNITY