God Held My Purity. God held my sacred purity, My perfect, whole white rose. Told my parents to guide me; He said Tell her to watch it as she grows.

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2 God Held My Purity God held my sacred purity, My perfect, whole white rose. Told my parents to guide me; He said Tell her to watch it as she grows. As I grew, my parents taught Purity in mind, body, and spirit, Be careful of clothes, words, and thoughts, But your God-ordained sexuality don t fear it. Keep your white rose true and whole. Don t pick off the unblemished petals. Keep saving your protected soul Until you find one with whom to settle. One gift, one time One God-given marriage rhyme. For your love of God, of your parents, Of your spouse-to-be, For marriage save your purity. by Alyssa Mann (age 18) Stop by our blog and share your own thoughts about purity: encounterface2face.blogspot.com or mail your poems, stories, or works of art with a Christian message to be considered for our Expressions feature. Or send testimonies for My Story (750 words or less). ENCOUNTER 8805 Governor s Hill Drive Suite 400 Cincinnati, OH encounter@standardpub.com DON T FORGET to include your birth date, address, and address or a self-addressed stamped envelope so we can contact you. Editor: Kelly Carr Graphic Design: Liz Malwitz Design Project Editor: Jeanette Hanscome Assistant Editor: Lindsey Holder Senior Editor: Jim Eichenberger Stock Image Selection: Dorcas Design All Scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from the HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION. NIV. Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved. Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation. Copyright 1996, Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois All rights reserved. ENCOUNTER The Magazine, ENCOUNTER Curriculum. Do not photocopy or reproduce. 2 COVER IMAGE: STACEY GAMEZ /istockphoto.com ADDITIONAL ART ELEMENTS: cottagearts.net

It was a total accident. I was innocently surfing around on the computer, looking up stuff about the Revolutionary War. (Yeah, I m Ryan, the history buff.

3 It was a total accident. I was innocently surfing around on the computer, looking up stuff about the Revolutionary War. (Yeah, I m Ryan, the history buff.) I must have misspelled something because suddenly I was on a Web site that would make my mom freak! Yes one of those. The girls had their hands or a sheet or something over the important parts, but you could tell they were naked. I told myself that I shouldn t be looking at pictures like that, but I explored the site until Mom s car pulled into the driveway. Then I quickly switched to a history site. Hi, Ryan. Mom stuck her head into my bedroom. Homework done? Almost, I lied. I Gave in to Temptation The next afternoon I went online again to check out a Web site about Paul Revere. It was interesting, but my mind kept wandering back to yesterday s little discovery. Finally I gave in to temptation, clicked on my list of recent hits, and went back to the site. But I didn t look around for long. Ten minutes tops. Well, maybe an hour. When Mom got home, I switched back to Paul Revere. That night I had trouble sleeping. It didn t feel right for me to be looking at those photos, and I decided that I wasn t going to do it again. But the next time I was home alone, I felt the computer pulling me like a magnet, and soon I was at it again. I got so absorbed that I didn t notice Mom was home until I heard her foot- MONKEY BUSINESS IMAGES/dreamstime.com ENCOUNTER // /////////// 3

steps in the hall. I barely escaped in time! Discover anything new? asked Mom, looking over my shoulder. Sure! I said. Look at this cool site about John Adams.

4 steps in the hall. I barely escaped in time! Discover anything new? asked Mom, looking over my shoulder. Sure! I said. Look at this cool site about John Adams. He and his wife wrote tons of letters to each other. I talked on and on about Adams, trying to hide my nervousness. That s really interesting, she said. Well, I ll go start some supper. When Mom was out of earshot, I breathed a huge sigh and promised myself that I was going to stick to only history on the Web. But over the next couple of weeks, I went back again and again to the site with the girls. (They were naked, you know?) I Was Busted Then one night I came home from football practice and found Mom sitting at my computer! Mom! I squeaked. What are you doing? But even from across the room, I could see that I was busted! Mom must have checked my hit list. If I d realized she knew that much about computers, I would have erased all the evidence! Mom turned and looked me in the eye. I was just looking for that John Adams Web site, she said. Her voice broke as if she might cry! I m sorry, I mumbled in embarrassment. Come here, Ryan, she said. Look at this girl. Like I wanted to look at a naked girl with my mother! Mom, please Come here! When I stood beside her, she said, Look at her eyes. I looked. Even though the girl was smiling like she loved being naked for everyone to look at, the smile wasn t reaching her eyes. She looks kind of sad, I said with surprise. Yes, she does, said Mom. But then how could she be happy showing herself to men who don t care anything about her? She s nothing to them. They don t even think of her as a person. My heart filled with shame. I hadn t cared about those girls either. I d barely even glanced at their faces! But they were people real people. And they had to be real people whose lives were messed up, didn t they? I mean they couldn t have any selfrespect if they were posing naked for the world to see. Then an awful thought came to me. Mom, does somebody make girls do this? Sometimes, she said. Isn t it sad? Yeah, I whispered. Then I told Mom, I m really sorry. And I m not going to look at stuff like this anymore, OK? I m glad to hear that, Ryan, she said. But for the next month, you re grounded from the computer. Please disconnect everything and put it all in my closet. And when you get your computer back, you re going to put it somewhere else besides your room, some place where the whole family is, so you won t be as tempted. I Have a Plan It s been tough living without a computer! But I think things might get even tougher when I have my privileges back. It s going to be hard to resist temptation. (The girls are naked, OK?) But I have a plan. First, I m going to remind myself that those girls are real people who deserve some respect. Then I ll pray for them and ask God to make their lives better. If I m still tempted, I ll pray, Give me strength, Lord! And I ll ask other people to pray for me too. Then I ll spend time with a friend. Like maybe George Washington? I bet he has some great Web sites! E If you struggle with this type of Internet problem or any online addiction, pick up Eyes Online : Eyes On Life, the third book in the LIVE FREE series, designed to help young adults overcome struggles and addictions. Find out more:

A Lifestyle of Purity by Tekoa Miller Sunday 1 Thessalonians 4:1-6 I stand out like a sore thumb. And I m OK with that. In fact, God calls us to be different, especially when it comes to our bodies.

5 A Lifestyle of Purity by Tekoa Miller Sunday 1 Thessalonians 4:1-6 I stand out like a sore thumb. And I m OK with that. In fact, God calls us to be different, especially when it comes to our bodies. The world says it s OK to have sex, provided you re in love. God wants us to hold a higher standard of purity a lifestyle of purity involving our minds and words as well as our bodies. How can you be pure in your actions, words, and thoughts this week? Monday 1 Thessalonians 4:7, 8 My favorite necklace is a simple chain and a key. I ve worn it for six years and call it the key to my heart. I keep it as a reminder of a commitment I made to God: to live physically and emotionally pure with every guy I meet. What do you need to do to be emotionally pure? Tuesday Genesis 39:1-5 I love road trips: good company, good music, and laughter! Nothing is more fun than roadtripping with friends, but it isn t fun when you get lost. Without a map, you could end up in Timbuktu. Joseph didn t just make one godly choice one time in his life he had a plan for an entire life of honoring God. The results of his decision blessed both his life and those around him. How can you make a choice for godliness today? Wednesday Genesis 39:6-10 I can t control my chocolate urge it creeps up and attacks! I ve had to learn to take practical steps to control my temptations. (If there s no chocolate in the house, I can t really be tempted to eat it.) Joseph recognized the same principle; he knew that if he refused to go anywhere near temptation (Potiphar s wife in this case), he couldn t fall. What are some ways you can protect yourself from physical temptation? Thursday Genesis 39:11, 12 I was training a horse recently when we tried to climb a steep hill. I thought we could take it. My horse thought otherwise. In fact, he panicked and I had to bail off. I was muddy and almost lost my horse, but I saw trouble and needed to get out! Joseph saw that he was in life-threatening trouble, so he fled. What are some temptations that you need to flee? Friday Genesis 39:13-18 William Borden lived in the early 1900s and was passionate about knowing God and reaching other people. While in college, everyone pressured him to join a secret society (a fancy word for a clique). He refused to join. (Talk about social suicide!) He risked being rejected for his choice. If you stand for purity, you may have to stand alone. How can you prepare to stand firm anyway? Saturday Genesis 39:19-23 I had a relationship where I did the right thing, yet I still got hurt. There is no guarantee that life will be perfect, even if you take a stand for what s right. Joseph s stand for purity and godliness got him thrown into jail, but God was still working in his life. How can you see God at work even in rejection? ENCOUNTER // ///////////

6 JUPITERIMAGES 6

7 Here s my definition of purity in a nutshell: Purity is about using your mind, your body, and your heart the way that God intended for you to use them. Purity is a framework for life. It doesn t take away a fulfilling life; it supports it. It s a framework God built for His glory and your benefit. Instead of a list of don ts, it s a place where you can find freedom the freedom to live without regrets, to love people fully, and to show the utmost respect to yourself. Myths, Lies, & Things to Not Believe Here are some lies about purity that might be messing with you. Avoid them. Lie #1: Everybody s doing it. Everybody s not actually doing it. Really, they re not. As a single person in my 20s with a variety of eligible, attractive friends (some committed to Christ, some not), I can tell you that random makeout sessions and one-night stands are not as popular as they look on TV. Some people try to present the image that they re out there doing things, but most are making at least some of it up. Either way, they re driven by insecurity they aren t as happy as they seem. Lie #2: Purity is the curse of single people. Marriage isn t the finish line in purity. In fact the stakes get even higher. It s not about just holding out for your wedding night. It s about learning to think and conduct yourself in a way that is healthy for you. Lie #3: I ve already messed up. Oh well. There s always another chance to start over. We ve all made mistakes of one type or another, things we ve done, thought, or said. If you ve done things you don t want to continue doing, it s never too late to make a fresh start. How in the World Do You Stay Pure? Here s what you need to do to make purity a priority in your own life. Above all, seek God. He knows us and our lives better than anyone, even ourselves. Depend on His love, grace, and forgiveness. Decide now to take responsibility. Purity is about your relationship with God and your relationship with others, but ultimately it s about your identity and the choices you make in those relationships. Others can tempt you, but it s up to you. If you make the decision to own up to your responsibility now, handling temptation will be easier. Know yourself. There s no magic formula of do s and don ts for purity. Usually the biggest enemy of your purity is yourself. It s easy to make excuses about something you know you probably shouldn t do just because it s something you want to do. Be honest with yourself and avoid situations that trip you up. Find trustworthy people to talk to. No matter where you are, there are other people your age who are striving for purity. That doesn t mean you have to form some sort of clique with these people, but drawing strength and encouragement from each other is invaluable. Also find adults in your life at home, church, or elsewhere with whom you can be honest. Some adults have a lot of regrets, some have only a few, but a Christian adult who is committed to helping you can give you practical advice to help navigate tough situations. Don t settle. So you haven t had a date in a while. So what? You re holding yourself to high standards, so don t settle for a person who is just good enough, reasonably decent, or worse, not so bad. It s a waste of time that you ll regret. Trust me. Live Your Life This pep talk is great, I know, but you need to know the truth. Purity is a way of life that is best for you as an individual no matter what. It s not easy, it s not always fun and to be honest, it ll probably get more difficult as you get older. It s not about what you can t do, though, but what you can. You can live your life free of regret (not to mention free of diseases and unplanned children yikes!). I m 25, single, and constantly teetering on the edge of being broke. That has to be the worst thing ever, right? No way. I have so much fun. In the last year I ve hiked the Grand Canyon rim-to-rim, gone to concerts and restaurants in London, and enjoyed the best cupcakes in New York City. As I write this, I m about to head to Florida, just because I feel like it. Most weeks I m busy with friends almost every night: dinner out, dancing, walks in the park, concerts, plays, sled-riding, 5Ks. I have close friends I ve known for years, friends from work and church, and a whole bunch of friends I met singing karaoke. I have the flexibility to give my time at church and babysit kids whose moms are recovering addicts. Because I have my own life reasonably in balance, I have the energy and joy to pour my life into other people. Even though I m not some bubbly, energetic extrovert, I ve made a commitment to enjoy life, to try new things, and to meet new people. It s not all fun and games. I have responsibilities. I get bored and restless and lonely. But seeking a pure lifestyle keeps me strong, balanced, happy, and full of life. It s a fight every day, but I have people to support me and a lifestyle that honors God and makes me proud to look myself in the eye in the mirror every morning. E ENCOUNTER // ///////////

JUPITERIMAGES A re you guys Amish? I stared briefly at the man we d hired to be our wedding photographer, who had asked the question; then I looked at my fiancé.

8 JUPITERIMAGES A re you guys Amish? I stared briefly at the man we d hired to be our wedding photographer, who had asked the question; then I looked at my fiancé. We were wearing jeans and brightly-colored T- shirts, nothing on our heads. Was he kidding? Did we look Amish? No, Greg answered for us. What kind of church do you go to? I tried to keep from rolling my eyes. It s not something our church told us to do. It s just something we want to do. He still looked a little incredulous as we tried to change topics. I was surprised he was that surprised. The whole conversation came up because we told him that we wanted him to take our kissing pictures after the actual wedding ceremony, because our first kiss would be at the wedding. He looked at us like we d asked him to take our pictures on the moon. That wasn t the only time we ran head-on into others assumptions about purity (or a lack of it). We were on our honeymoon in Maui, learning to surf (or trying) when our instructor asked me if we d lived together before we were married. When I said no, he responded, Don t you know you re supposed to try the shoe on before you buy it? I hardly knew what to say, but I wanted to scream, No, no, no how can you say that? This is so much better! A Lifestyle Devoted to God Is purity really such a rare commodity these days? Now, I understand that not everyone will choose to save their first kiss for their wedding day it was just something special we chose. But I am saddened that things like living together have become the norm and that purity is scoffed at more than it is valued. In 1 Corinthians 6:13-20, Paul (inspired by God, of course!) writes some very strong words about sexual purity: The body is not meant for sexual immorality, but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body.... Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ himself? Shall I then take the members of Christ and unite them with a prostitute? Never! Do you not know that he who unites himself with a prostitute is one with her in body? For it is said, The two will become one flesh. But he who unites himself with the Lord is one with him in spirit. Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body. Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body. This Scripture passage is saying a lot more than save sex for marriage. It s talking about a lifestyle of devoting oneself all of oneself to God. And what we do with our bodies is part of that. In fact, it s a large part of it. Why Is It a Big Deal? Why is purity such a big deal? First of all, because we re a big deal. God actually cares that we treat our bodies well. Our bodies are His temple and should be honored. That means honoring your own body and the body of anyone you re in a relationship with. Secondly, because marriage is a big deal. It s meant to be a sacred, real picture of Christ s love for the church of how much God desires a relationship with us that s built on intimacy, trust, and commitment. And the more the world scoffs at purity, the more messed up our view of sexuality becomes. And the image of God s love is marred into something that is purely for physical pleasure or is used to manipulate or is cheap and noncommittal. That s so much less than what God wants for you! I think too often we talk about sex with the wrong questions. We like to ask, How far can I go? What s OK? Does the Bible say anything about holding hands, kissing, etc.? But if those are the questions you re asking, I think you re missing what God s intention is, and any relationship you have will be less than what it should be. Try these questions instead: How can I honor God with my body and with my relationships? How can I be sure to guard my purity? What s the best way to date? It might be completely counter-cultural, and you might get some strange looks and questions, but you will honor God. And you ll find yourself much happier with your relationships and eventually your marriage because you re following God s design. Not only that, but you ll avoid a lot of unnecessary pain. And the prize in the end is totally worth it. E 8

Purity Lesson 1: Stop Looking for the Line

Purity Lesson 1: Stop Looking for the Line For as long as I can remember, purity has been a major topic of discussion around student ministries. How many of you in this group have heard at least one lesson