Sermon Notes of Guest Speaker Nan Kuhlman's Sermon on May 13, 2018: "Transforming Love"

Transcription

1 Sermon Notes of Guest Speaker Nan Kuhlman's Sermon on May 13, 2018: "Transforming Love" [In today's sermon on Mother s Day, Guest Speaker Nan Kuhlman shows the power of God s transforming love in our lives as we love others.] Notes Introduction: Any great-grandmothers? Please stand and stay standing. Any grandmothers? Any mothers? Any person who has ever taken care of another human being or animal? Anyone who has ever donated blood? Anyone who has ever served others through their talents, skills, or abilities? Anyone who has ever said something kind to someone who was down? Anyone who has ever given money to someone, known or unknown, who needed it? You may all sit down. This is Mother s Day, and it is good and right to honor mothers, but this day is bigger than that. It is about recognizing love s power of transformation, and we as human beings have all been participants in that, both in the receiving and the giving of love, whether that was in a human context or with animals. And on Mother s Day, we mothers (and all the rest of you who were standing up by the end of the warmup questions) should also be thanking all those whom we have loved because we have been transformed in the process of loving and caring for them. Today s purpose: It s to show that: 1. All love originates with God, 2. It is love that transforms people, not rules, not advice, not criticism, 3. Those who love are also transformed in the act of loving. If we want to grow spiritually, we must love or and be in relationship with other people or we hinder love s transformative power in our lives. All love originates with God: Love doesn t start in us. It comes through us, and we are simply willing participants in it. Nan gave the personal example of caring for her two sons Quentin and Morgan as a toddler and newborn, who were both sick in the middle of the night for several nights in a row.

2 2 Where did that sacrificial love come from? She admitted that it certainly didn t come from her. She was exhausted, but somehow she had the physical reserves, or maybe even the spiritual reserves to take care of them. I John 4:7 (NIV), Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. This verse tells us that everyone who loves knows God. And the way of knowing God better is through love. It s also interesting to note that it says everyone who loves knows God. Power of Love: The power of love is a curious thing Makes one man weep, makes another man sing Changes a heart to a little white dove More than a feeling, that's the power of love Makes a bad one good, makes a wrong right Power of love will keep you home at night Don't need money, don't take fame Don't need no credit card to ride this train It's strong and it's sudden and it [seems] cruel sometimes But it might just save your life That's the power of love They say that all in love is fair Yeah but you don't care But you know what to do When it gets hold of you And with a little help from above You feel the power of love These are the lyrics to the song The Power of Love by Huey Lewis and the News with a few minor modifications. As the lyrics illustrate, love transforms a person or situation [makes a bad one good, makes a wrong right], and this usually requires a sacrifice on the part of the one who loves. All love originates with God: Doing good works which show love to others usually costs us. Jesus knew about the cost associated with loving people, and on the night before his crucifixion, this is what he told his closest friends: John 15:12-13 This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one s life for his friends. Notice that to be able to love others we first must know that we are loved.

3 3 Jesus says, love one another as I have loved you. Jesus s love included sacrifice. When Jesus was on the cross, he took into himself all the human hate, the feeling of being unloved and separated from God and disconnected from other human beings. So, as we see, this love originates with God, then flows through us to others. Love transforms people: So the cycle of love is like this: God loves us, and when we are full of His love, much like a glass that is filled to overflowing, that love will spill out into our relationships with others. Studies tell us that for every negative thing we say to someone, a child, a spouse, or an employee, we need to counter balance it by saying six positive things. Love transforms people not criticism. Nan, as a writing teacher, has seen this in her classrooms. She has had many students who come to her beginning writing classes at college and tell her, I m not a good writer. My high school teacher said if I haven t picked up on grammar rules by now, I never will. What emotion or attitude does this show discouragement and hopelessness. In these situations, Nan s role is more than just teaching grammar and how to organize thoughts into written form. She must be a cheerleader. She must give them hope, but she doesn t negate the truth of their experience. She usually uses a sports analogy. She says to them, If I want to get good at shooting free throws in basketball, and I practice shooting one basket a month, will I become good? They usually shake their heads and tell me, No. So she says, OK, if I shoot one basket a week, will that do it? They usually agree that I might get a little better, but still not be able to make the shot each time. So how many times do you think I ll need to practice? If they are sports enthusiasts, they ll probably say, Every day, but by now they re on to Nan s analogy and they realize what they might be committing to if they say that. Her students view of writing is transformed by hope and having a vision that they could be better. Isn t that what we do when we love someone? Now, Nan has struggled with nagging, as many of you have. But we need to recognize that nagging or offering unasked for advice comes from fear, not love. Love and fear cannot coexist. Love transforms people, not fear or criticism..

4 4 We are transformed in the act of loving: So we understand that we are transformed when we know and feel we are loved by God and by other people. What we might forget is how in the act of loving others we are changed, transformed, and in loving others we see most clearly how we are participating in a Divine flow of love. When we love another person or animal, we will be called upon to sacrifice, to reach down into our reserves that we didn t know we even had. And in reaching down into those reserves, going beyond what we thought we could, we are transformed and made better than we would be on our own. Personal example: Nan was driving a moving truck loaded with furniture from the town of Van Wert to Defiance in Ohio at night. She had her son Morgan with her. While they were driving, a bad thunderstorm with a lot of winds came up. And the winds caused the truck to sway from side to side on the road. Needless to say, Morgan was very much afraid. Nan prayed that God would give them protection and not allow them to have an accident or to be blown off the road. Caring for her son made Nan braver than she would have been on her own. Student s examples: Students are assigned a narrative about an event, a moment that changed the way they see the world. Nan has read lots of narratives from her students about how love transformed them, and it s amazing what students will tell her in written form, much more than they ever would face-to-face. Writing has a cathartic effect, a cleansing, and somehow it helps to bring resolution and meaning to difficult life events. Out of all the narrative essays, about fifteen percent of them told me the story of how young women became mothers and the way that event influenced them. Many, if not most, of these stories told about living a teen s life of drinking, drugs, and promiscuity, and some mentioned the hurts that produced this type of lifestyle. One student told how she would get drunk every night, go to high school hung over, sleep in the bathroom stalls through classes, and then do it all over again the next night. She wondered how she ever graduated. This was a common story throughout her reading of these essays a life of total licentiousness with no supervision or parental guidance. But then something happened that changed everything.

5 These women (or in many cases, teenage girls) were transformed from a wild lifestyle to one of responsibility, contentment, and even happiness when they became pregnant and delivered their baby. As she read the essays, she would see sentences like, When I saw my son s face for the first time, I fell in love. And I knew I wanted to take care of my daughter and make a better life for us both. The common point in the transformation of these women from a promiscuous, selfindulgent lifestyle to one of contentment and joy was love, and in particular, the allconsuming passion of mother-love and the helpless, reciprocal love of a newborn. These women were not changed by a list of rules or someone telling them they needed to straighten up and live responsibly. They were not transformed by shoulds or musts or have-tos. It was just love, and it was enough. Paul s inspired definition of love: The book of First Corinthians was written by the Apostle Paul, and its historical context is interesting to consider. The people of the Corinthian church were not former Jews so the idea of morality was foreign to them. Promiscuity was rampant, as was self-promotion. Given this culture, it might make sense that Paul felt it was necessary to define what love looks like. But first he shows what love isn t: 1 Corinthians 13:1, If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 20 If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. 3) If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing. When we feel that we must do good works in order to win God s favor or to win the favor of other church members is not letting ourselves be loved by God first. The cycle of love begins when we know, in the depths of our being, that we are beloved by God. Paul then takes this opportunity to explain to the Corinthians what real love looks like. He also shows the transformation that the person giving such love goes through: 4) Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5) It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6) Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7) It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 8) Love never fails. This describes a different way of living than what the Corinthians were familiar with. They might have wondered how this love can possibly exist in a world where selfishness, pride, and promiscuity run rampant. 5

6 6 We wonder this, too, when we suffer or witness atrocities. Has love failed? We know that can t be true because love and God never fail. However, we can hinder love s transformation if we let fear stop the Divine flow of love to us and through us. The book The Shack: In the book and movie The Shack, by William Paul Young, the character Papa, who represents the Father in the Triune God and is portrayed by an African-American woman. Papa often remarks in reference to a person, Oh yes, I m especially fond of him or I m especially fond of her. The problem the main character Mack has is that he does not feel loved by God because of his abuse he suffered at the hands of an alcoholic father. Mack also suffered from the abduction and murder of his daughter. Thus, he feels abandoned by God. During the course of the movie, Mack works through his lack of belief that he is loved. Papa tells Mack there is a cost to love, that love always leaves a significant mark. She shows the nail wounds on her wrists to visually reveal to Mack that she is always there, even in the midst of great tragedy or suffering, implying that she was with Jesus on the cross and that his suffering was her suffering, too. Just like Papa in The Shack, our love makes us vulnerable to pain or suffering. This is what makes us harden our hearts sometimes because we don t want to feel that pain. However, when we stop up the flow of love, we will limit our transformation because we are refusing to participate in the cycle of love God has created. Loving others changes us, but fear can hinder our transformation. Concluding comments: So, on this Mother s day, we need to remember the sacrifices of love that have been made on our behalf. We should honor those who have participated in the Divine flow of love. And we should realize that God is transforming us through relationships as we exercise the power of His love. Closing Prayer