A short comedy by Celeste Barnaby

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1 HERO'S JOURNEY A short comedy by Celeste Barnaby This script is for evaluation only. It may not be printed, photocopied or distributed digitally under any circumstances. Possession of this file does not grant the right to perform this play or any portion of it, or to use it for classroom study. info@youthplays.com

2 Hero's Journey 2013 Celeste Barnaby All rights reserved. ISBN Caution: This play is fully protected under the copyright laws of the United States of America, Canada, the British Commonwealth and all other countries of the copyright union and is subject to royalty for all performances including but not limited to professional, amateur, charity and classroom whether admission is charged or presented free of charge. Reservation of Rights: This play is the property of the author and all rights for its use are strictly reserved and must be licensed by his representative, YouthPLAYS. This prohibition of unauthorized professional and amateur stage presentations extends also to motion pictures, recitation, lecturing, public reading, radio broadcasting, television, video and the rights of adaptation or translation into non-english languages. Performance Licensing and Royalty Payments: Amateur and stock performance rights are administered exclusively by YouthPLAYS. No amateur, stock or educational theatre groups or individuals may perform this play without securing authorization and royalty arrangements in advance from YouthPLAYS. Required royalty fees for performing this play are available online at Royalty fees are subject to change without notice. Required royalties must be paid each time this play is performed and may not be transferred to any other performance entity. All licensing requests and inquiries should be addressed to YouthPLAYS. Author Credit: All groups or individuals receiving permission to produce this play must give the author(s) credit in any and all advertisements and publicity relating to the production of this play. The author's billing must appear directly below the title on a separate line with no other accompanying written matter. The name of the author(s) must be at least 50% as large as the title of the play. No person or entity may receive larger or more prominent credit than that which is given to the author(s) and the name of the author(s) may not be abbreviated or otherwise altered from the form in which it appears in this Play. Publisher Attribution: All programs, advertisements, flyers or other printed material must include the following notice: Produced by special arrangement with YouthPLAYS ( Prohibition of Unauthorized Copying: Any unauthorized copying of this book or excerpts from this book, whether by photocopying, scanning, video recording or any other means, is strictly prohibited by law. This book may only be copied by licensed productions with the purchase of a photocopy license, or with explicit permission from YouthPLAYS. Trade Marks, Public Figures & Musical Works: This play may contain references to brand names or public figures. All references are intended only as parody or other legal means of expression. This play may also contain suggestions for the performance of a musical work (either in part or in whole). YouthPLAYS has not obtained performing rights of these works unless explicitly noted. The direction of such works is only a playwright's suggestion, and the play producer should obtain such permissions on their own. The website for the U.S. copyright office is

3 COPYRIGHT RULES TO REMEMBER 1. To produce this play, you must receive prior written permission from YouthPLAYS and pay the required royalty. 2. You must pay a royalty each time the play is performed in the presence of audience members outside of the cast and crew. Royalties are due whether or not admission is charged, whether or not the play is presented for profit, for charity or for educational purposes, or whether or not anyone associated with the production is being paid. 3. No changes, including cuts or additions, are permitted to the script without written prior permission from YouthPLAYS. 4. Do not copy this book or any part of it without written permission from YouthPLAYS. 5. Credit to the author and YouthPLAYS is required on all programs and other promotional items associated with this play's performance. When you pay royalties, you are recognizing the hard work that went into creating the play and making a statement that a play is something of value. We think this is important, and we hope that everyone will do the right thing, thus allowing playwrights to generate income and continue to create wonderful new works for the stage. Plays are owned by the playwrights who wrote them. Violating a playwright's copyright is a very serious matter and violates both United States and international copyright law. Infringement is punishable by actual damages and attorneys' fees, statutory damages of up to $150,000 per incident, and even possible criminal sanctions. Infringement is theft. Don't do it. Have a question about copyright? Please contact us by at info@youthplays.com or by phone at When in doubt, please ask.

4 CAST OF CHARACTERS THEOS, the archetypal young hero. He is clad in diamond armor and carries a sword and shield. HAROLDICUS, the mentor. He wears a toga and has a large, white beard. LORD BADIAS, a lord of evil who lives in the cave. He has hideous green skin and wears armor with a long, treacherous cape. CHLOE, daughter of Lord Badias. She is about the same age as Theos and, luckily, did not inherit the green skin. She stays in her room most of the time.

5 Hero s Journey 5 (Lights up on a dark cave with a golden pedestal in the center. On the pedestal is a velvet pillow carrying a small amulet. THEOS enters stage right, running and carrying his sword and shield. He stops and drops his shield, surprised and relieved, when he sees the amulet. He returns his sword to its sheath, kneels down on one knee and removes his helmet.) THEOS: Through all the trials I have faced, all the evildoers I have vanquished, I have finally found the amulet of power that shall restore balance to the HAROLDICUS: Whoa, whoa, whoa, what do you think you're doing! THEOS: (Surprised, rising:) Haroldicus! I haven't seen you since I departed from the village! What are you doing here? HAROLDICUS: You can't take that amulet until you finish your journey. THEOS: (Confused:) But I have journeyed hundreds of miles, fought throngs of enemies HAROLDICUS: No, no, no. Your hero's journey. (Haroldicus waits for a response, but Theos still looks confused; he clearly has no idea what that is.) You know...the fundamental structure of the hero's narrative...it has seventeen steps...joseph Campbell wrote about it... THEOS: I'm sorry, but I do not understand. HAROLDICUS: The point is, you've skipped several vital steps in your emotional development, and you don't get your ultimate boon until you fulfill every stage of the journey. THEOS: (Slightly irritated and disgruntled:) But it's literally right here, can't I just...

6 6 Celeste Barnaby (He reaches for the amulet.) HAROLDICUS: NO! (He slaps Theos' hand away, Theos becomes visibly upset.) You need to complete the journey or you won't be emotionally and spiritually fulfilled! Now, I'm keeping this until you finish. (He tucks the amulet in his toga.) THEOS: Ow! Wha how did you even get here? This a foot mountain surrounded by fire and wolfbears! HAROLDICUS: Are you ready to complete your journey or not? THEOS: Oh my Zeus, this is ridiculous. I'm just going to find a different all-powerful amulet. (He starts walking towards the exit, and as he is about to leave, LORD BADIAS enters, causing Theos to stagger backwards and draw his sword.) Aha! Back to the shadows from whence you came, treacherous Lord Badias! LORD BADIAS: (Putting his hands up, to signify that he is defenseless:) It's cool, it's cool! I'm just here to help with your hero's journey. THEOS: Wait, what? Why? Aren't you evil? LORD BADIAS: Well, yeah, but I'm invested in your quest and I want you to become a fully developed protagonist. Oh, I just hate it when people save the world without reaching enlightenment! HAROLDICUS: I know! Isn't it frustrating? THEOS: Is this really happening?

7 Hero s Journey 7 LORD BADIAS: Come on, Theos, I promise you it will be worth your while. THEOS: How can I trust you? You're carrying a massive sword! LORD BADIAS: (Flattered:) Oh, well, it's not that big. (Theos is unamused.) And look, if it makes you feel better, I'll put the sword down. (He removes his scabbard and places it on the ground.) HAROLDICUS: See, Theos, he's completely harmless. LORD BADIAS: Completely. THEOS: Ok, fine! I'll do it. I'll do the stupid journey. HAROLDICUS: Excellent! All right, let's see what steps you have left to do. (Drawing a pencil and crumpled up piece of paper from his toga:) Ok, let's see. Call to adventure, you did that. Refusal of call, yes, you were very stubborn. Supernatural aid...hehe, that's me. Crossing the threshold, belly of whale, check, check. Have you passed a road of trials? THEOS: I fought off wolfbears while climbing a fire mountain, so, yeah, I'd say there were some trials. HAROLDICUS: A simple "yes" would do; there's no need to be rude. All right, so you still have four steps before you get your ultimate boon. (Theos sighs heavily.) LORD BADIAS: Well, Haroldicus, what's the first step? HAROLDICUS: That would be the meeting with the goddess. You need to experience an all-powerful, unconditional love by finding the person you love most completely. THEOS: How am I supposed to do that?

8 8 Celeste Barnaby HAROLDICUS: I suppose you need to find a girl with whom you can...relate...and such. LORD BADIAS: Oh boy, do I have just the girl for you! (Shouting to the other side of the cave:) Oh, Chloe! (CHLOE enters, eating a bag of potato chips. She appears very disheveled and apathetic.) CHLOE: What's up? LORD BADIAS: Theos, this is my daughter, Chloe. CHLOE: Sup, bro. THEOS: Are you serious? LORD BADIAS: You two can just get to know each other, and we'll see how that goes. THEOS: I don't have time for this; the fate of the world is at stake! HAROLDICUS: Well, I guess if you just agree to marry her, we can count that as basically the same as all-encompassing love and move on to the next step. THEOS: Ok, whatever, I'll marry you. CHLOE: Umm...I'm not agreeing to anything without getting some bitchin' bling first. THEOS: Uh, here, take my chest plate. It's made of magical diamonds infused with the souls of the dead. (He gives it to her.) CHLOE: Cool. Later. (Chloe exits.) THEOS: What's next?

9 Hero s Journey 9 HAROLDICUS: Uh...woman as the temptress. THEOS: No, no more women. HAROLDICUS: Hold onto your pegasuses now, Theos, it doesn't literally have to be a woman. Basically, you just need to be tempted away from your journey by something. So, Theos, what enticement could lure you away from your quest? THEOS: Nothing. HAROLDICUS: Really? Not even wine? Ornamental pottery? Quality time with Chloe? THEOS: I just want to get the amulet and go home to my village. LORD BADIAS: What if I told you I could supply you with a large amount of camels? THEOS: What? LORD BADIAS: Yes! Thousands of camels! Camels as far as the eye can see! THEOS: What no! LORD BADIAS: Well, that's all I got. HAROLDICUS: I guess we're stuck here until you can figure out what could tempt you away from your journey. (Theos pauses and tries to think for a moment.) THEOS: Actually, you know what? I could seriously go for some...uh...myrrh. HAROLDICUS: Myrrh? THEOS: Yeah, totally! I love me some myrrh. There's nothing like a good myrrh to make you forget your ambitions!

10 10 Celeste Barnaby LORD BADIAS: I can definitely hook you up with some myrrh, if you're sure it will make you want to give up your quest. THEOS: Yeah! LORD BADIAS: Ok, you wait here. I'll go get some. (He exits. Theos and Haroldicus stand awkwardly for a few moments.) HAROLDICUS: So he's pretty cool, huh? THEOS: Hmm? HAROLDICUS: Lord Badias, I mean. He seems pretty neat. THEOS: Yeah. Sure. I mean, he did try to kill me like eight times, and he summoned a volcano next to the sacred forest, and he cursed my grandmother, but yeah, other than that, he's great. HAROLDICUS: Y'know, I was thinking, maybe after this we could hang out again some time. (Lord Badias reenters with a goblet of myrrh.) LORD BADIAS: Sorry about that, I didn't quite have enough unicorn blood to conjure this, so I had to get some more. You know how it is. HAROLDICUS: Of course. Now, Theos, here it is the object of your temptation. (Lord Badias and Haroldicus look intently at Theos' reaction as Badias hands him the myrrh. He attempts to appease them by looking excited, but, that not being enough, takes a sip. It tastes awful, but he tries to conceal this.) How is it? LORD BADIAS: Pretty tempting, ay?

11 Hero s Journey 11 THEOS: Yep, sure is. I could just drink this myrrh all day and not even finish my quest. (He takes another sip, this one worse than the first.) Hey, wait! I just realized something! LORD BADIAS: What is it, Theos? THEOS: Myrrh is...not as important as saving the world! So I should...wait until after I've gotten the amulet, and I will...resist the temptations of life. Right? HAROLDICUS: Exemplary work, Theos! You combatted your temptations perfectly! (Relieved, Theos sets down the myrrh. Lord Badias carries it away.) THEOS: Great. So, what's the next step? HAROLDICUS: Atonement with the father. You must face whatever holds ultimate power in your life, which is usually a father or father figure, and then that power has to die. How is your relationship with your father, Theos? THEOS: Uh, it's fine. We hang out sometimes, play catch, farm. HAROLDICUS: Well, maybe this man is not actually your father. Maybe your real father is...lord BADIAS!!! (Awkward pause.) THEOS: Um...no. LORD BADIAS: No, definitely not. HAROLDICUS: Oh. That was a swing and a miss, then. LORD BADIAS: If I'm correct, Haroldicus, the ultimate power doesn't have to be an actual person, but just a truth that the hero lives by.

12 12 Celeste Barnaby HAROLDICUS: Yes, that's true. LORD BADIAS: Well, Theos, what are some of your most cherished beliefs? THEOS: Um...I don't know. LORD BADIAS: Come on, anything that you believe is generally true about the world. THEOS: I guess I believe that if you work hard and you're a good person...bad things won't happen to you. LORD BADIAS: Oh, a good person? Like, say, Haroldicus, for instance? THEOS: Well, yeah, Haroldicus has done a lot for me. LORD BADIAS: And he's worked hard? THEOS: I guess I'd say so. LORD BADIAS: So for that, you think bad things will not happen to him. THEOS: Yeah. That's fair and that's what I believe. (Badias gives it a moment of thought, then has an idea.) LORD BADIAS: I can take care of that. (Badias quickly draws his sword and stabs Haroldicus in the side, fatally wounding him.) HAROLDICUS: AH! (He collapses to the ground.) THEOS: WHY DID YOU DO THAT??? Want to read the entire script? Order a perusal copy today!

LAST RIGHT BEFORE THE VOID

LAST RIGHT BEFORE THE VOID A ten-minute dramedy by Jonathan Dorf This script is for evaluation only. It may not be printed, photocopied or distributed digitally under any circumstances. Possession of this