Ephesians, Chapter Six, Lesson One THE SPIRIT FILLED LIFE - Part 6 Ephesians 6:1-4 STIMULATE ** By the grace of our loving God, we have hopefully been able to apply what we have been learning about "The Spirit Filled Life". Over the past two weeks, in particular, we have focused on the roles of husbands and wives. How has this series caused you to look closer at your own personal calling as a husband or wife? Even though chapter five of Paul's letter to the Ephesians is an old and dear friend to my heart, the Lord has used it again to quicken my heart to a more circumspect, cautious and determined walk with Him. He has encouraged me to try to excel all the more in my role as a husband for His glory. MOTIVATE ** Today the apostle Paul is going to make an important turn in his thinking. Having thoroughly dealt with us in our husband and wife roles, he is now going to address how the spirit filled family is to operate. Is there a "generation gap"? Is it just impossible for parents to understand their children and vice versa? Let's listen to the heart of Paul as he lovingly instructs us with God's precious Word. Read Passage (V.1-4) Opening Prayer INVESTIGATE The Spirit Filled Life V. 1 ** What is the first group in the family mentioned by Paul at the opening of our passage? Children - tekna, lit. offspring, any son or daughter still living under their parent's roof. ** What does Paul call all children to do? Obey! - hupakouo, this is a rich word meaning "to hear under", that is to listen with attentiveness and to respond positively to what is heard. ** Whom are they to obey? Their parents! ** In our study of husbands and wives, we saw the MANNER and REASON for which they were to fulfill their own role given to them by God Himself. Likewise, with the children - what is the MANNER in which children are to obey their parents? "...in the Lord.." Paul is addressing the realm of their obedience. By obeying their parents, children are showing their obedience to the Lord. They are doing it ultimately for His namesake. ** Is there some deep philosophical REASON that a child is to obey their parents?
NO, the reason given is "for this is right"! Our world will do all that it can to avoid any and all absolutes. It perceives God's truth as narrow minded and judgmental, they do not want to be given a single standard by which they are to live. Never-the-less, the REASON stands "for this is right"! cf. Romans 3:4 ** Is God serious about obedience to parents being the only right thing to do? Absolutely! cf. Exodus 21:15-17, Proverbs 6:20-22, and 2Timothy 3:1-5 V. 2 ** Besides obedience, what else are children to do toward their parents? Honor them! Lit. - "to respect or to fix a value" This takes us past the actions of the child, to the attitude of the child. This is the loving "heart" attitude demanded by God which will drive the child to seek the best for their parents, even when the parents have grown old and the children have become adults. cf. Proverbs 3:1, 4:1-4, and 7:1-3 ** According to this verse, how does God value the man and woman in their parental role? They are equal! The children are to honor both their father and mother. While their roles are different (remembering that the husband in the head from Ephesians 5:23) they are to be valued by the children equally! ** To what Old Testament passage is Paul referring? The giving of the Ten Commandments. cf. Exodus 20:12, Deuteronomy 5:16 ** Why would Paul refer to such an old passage while giving this instruction, some 1500 years after the giving of the Ten Commandments? The issue of honoring your parents has always been important to God! From eternity past, to 1445 B.C., to Paul's day (60 A.D.), and to us today! ** Paul mentions that the command to honor your parents was "the first commandment with a promise". Did that original promise refer to all believers, of all time? No, it was exclusively for Israel - "that your days may be prolonged in the land which the Lord your God gives you". V. 3 ** Under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit, how does Paul adapt that promise to the church age? "...that it may be well with you, and that you may live long on the earth". For the Christian child who submits to God and therefore to his parents, his life will be rich with blessings and he will live out all the days of his lifetime - to the full measure which God intends, rather than have their life cut short like those of Ananias and Sapphia or certain members of the church at Corinth. cf. Acts 5:5-10, 1Corinthians 11:29-30 V. 4 ** In the same way that Paul dealt with both sides of the marriage equation, he is now going to deal with both sides of the parent-child equation. Is it enough to merely instruct children how they are to behave, or should parents be addressed as well? Paul knew that a husband could get carried away with self-aggrandizement because of the submissive spirit of his godly wife, so he instructs husbands to joyfully sacrifice their entire lives by the exercise of their love for their wife. Likewise, parents could become puffed up by a godly child.
** While speaking of parents in the first two verses of our passage for today, Paul now uses a different word, translated here as "fathers". Is he taking his attention away from both parents to focus on one? Most likely not - the word translated as "fathers" here in verse four is pateres, and usually referred to male parents. However, it was sometimes used to speak of both parents as in Hebrews 11:23 where Moses was said to be "hidden for three months by his parents". During Paul's day the father was by far and away the dominant figure in the home, he was therefore the most likely candidate for provoking his children to anger. But this by no means would excuse the mother, who would have been obviously capable of doing the same thing. While wanting to be sure that the head of the family acts in a godly manner, the context of the passage in which Paul is writing would include the mother's responsibility as well. ** Paul is now going to give the parents three commands. The first in a negative form, the last two in the positive. What is the first one issued to parents? "...do not provoke your children to anger..." ** Which children are we talking about? Have we seen them already today? Yes - these are the very ones which are to obey and honor these same parents! Here is the closing of any generation gap, in mutual love and subjection. ** What is wrong with provoking our children (or anyone for that matter) to anger? Anger is sin! cf. Ephesians 4:31, Colossians 3:8...and we must not cause others to sin! cf. Matthew 18:3-6 ** What does it mean to provoke? The word suggests a repeated, ongoing pattern of treatment that gradually builds up a deep-seated anger and resentment that boils over in outward hostility. ** What type of patterns by parents can be used to provoke their children to this kind of anger and resentment? 1) Overprotection 2) Favoritism 3) Pushing achievement 4) Discouragement 5) Failing to sacrifice for your children 6) Failing to let children be children 7) Using love as a tool of reward or punishment 8) Physical and verbal abuse If we as Christian parents can avoid these patterns, we will go a long way in not provoking our children. cf. Colossians 3:21
** How about the positive commands, what is the first one? "...bring them up in the discipline (of the Lord)" paideia - refers to the systematic training of children. While this does include the idea of correction for wrong doing (Proverbs 13:24), the word used here by Paul has to do primarily with the overall training of children (Proverbs 22:6). ** What is the second command issued to Christian parents? "...bring them up in the instruction (of the Lord)" nouthesia - lit. "putting in mind" and it also includes the connotation of correction. It refers to the instruction of children in the areas of right attitudes and principles of behavior, which are found throughout the book of Proverbs. ** What is the only acceptable resource for all this training and instruction? It must be "of the Lord"! As Christian parents, everything we do for our children is to be "of Him" and according to His word. Under the leadership of the Holy Spirit, we fulfill our calling for the glory of His name. ** What is the best instructional tool that parents have at their disposal? Their own life! We must live what we teach. We should be able to say with the apostle Paul, "be imitators of me, just as I am of Christ". cf. 1Corinthians 11:1 EXTRICATE ** While sin can cause a "gap" between families, what is the one true path to family harmony and unity? Parents and children who are living out "The Spirit Filled Life". DELINEATE ** What was the MANNER with which the spirit controlled child was to respond to their parents? They are to obey their parents "in the Lord"? ** What was the REASON given for this amazing obedience? "...for this is right"! There is an absolute standard, even if men choose to reject it. ** And for the parents, what was our only resource if we hope to properly discipline and instruct our beloved children? Both the discipline and instruction must be "of the Lord"! EVALUATE ** Does this kind of beautiful family portrait just happen naturally?
No! Sin happens naturally! This portrait can only be painted by the Master, using His obedient saints in the fulfillment of His design for the godly family. ACTIVATE ** How committed are you to doing your part? Each one of us needs to understand that these are timeless truths, designed by God Himself, and require our full cooperation and participation in building up families to the glory of God. Let's ask Him for the grace to live out what we have learned. Closing prayer