Ephesians, Chapter Five, Lesson Four THE SPIRIT FILLED LIFE - Part 4 Ephesians 5:22-27 STIMULATE ** Last week's study was very helpful for us in that it showed us seven characteristics of living "The Spirit Filled Life". Do you recall what those were? 1. We are careful how we walk 2. We have wisdom from God's word 3. We make the most of our opportunity 4. We understand the will of God 5. We choose what influences us 6. We sing praise to God with thankful hearts 7. We are in subjection to one another ** Has your life this past week reflected that kind of control by the Holy Spirit? Have you applied these marvelous truths to your own role of husband or wife? Hopefully, we are taking God's word to heart. The first place that the genuineness of our faith ought to manifest itself is in our marriage! MOTIVATE ** We have learned that the "children of light" are those who imitate God because they are under the control of the Holy Spirit. For the remainder of this series we are going to be given some very specific ways to apply what we have learned. Whether in our own life or in the life of someone near to us, we must be willing to "yield" to the Holy Spirit's control. cf. Hebrews 10:23-25 Today we begin a two week look at our marriage. As we learn how "subjection" fits into the husband and wife roles, we are going to be discussing in detail the best ways to put this God blessed principle into practice. Please join me now in Ephesians 5:22-27 where the apostle Paul instructs husbands and wives on "The Spirit Filled Life". Read Passage (V.22-24) (V.25-27) Opening prayer INVESTIGATE The Spirit Filled Life V.22 ** Where is Paul's command to Christian wives really found? Back in verse 21 - "be subject to one another" Verse 22 merely personalizes the command to wives, as verse 25 will do for husbands. ** As we learn these specific applications of Paul's command to be subject to one another, we will see both the MANNER and the REASON for which we are to be in submission to one another. Do you recall from last week the definition we learned for "be subject"?
hupotasso - a military term meaning "to arrange or rank under". As Christians we desire to consider others as more important than ourselves. cf. Philippians 2:3 ** While that is a general principle that describes who we are to be as those who belong to Jesus Christ, how does it apply specifically in the closest, most intimate relationship among mankind - marriage? Does being in subjection mean "agreeing with" or "obeying commands"? No! This is speaking of the attitude of the heart! If I desire to consider my spouse as more important to me than myself, I will want to please her even if I disagree with her! cf. Ephesians 5:10 If I do not wish to please my spouse more than myself, I am not being submissive at heart, no matter what I might be telling myself. ** Alright then, to whom is the Holy Spirit Filled wife to be in subjection? To her "own husband" - this is why we know that Paul is getting more specific in his call for a submissive attitude in Christians, as he now applies it to marriage. ** What is the importance of the wife's submission being directed toward her "own husband". It shows a voluntary subjection to that which is part of her. This entire passage is built upon the reality that we are not our own, but belong to a greater whole for God's glory. cf. V.31 ** How many stipulations must the husband meet before his wife adopts this submissive heart attitude? None! This command is for the godly woman, and is independent of the husband's behavior or lifestyle. All see - 1Peter 3:1-2 and 1Corinthians 7:13 & 16 ** What is the MANNER in which she is to be submissive? "as to the Lord" ** What does that mean in practical terms? Just as she loves the Lord, reveres Him, speaks to Him and serves Him - she will do the same for her "own husband". Such a lovely attitude is applauded by God and is used to build up a home and marriage. cf. 1Peter 3:4 ** How does this approach to being a wife fit into the view held by the world around us? It is totally opposite and does not fit at all! cf. Genesis 3:16 and Genesis 4:7 - teshuqah "a longing" ** What does the Bible say will be the results of such a godly lifestyle by the wife? Proverbs 31:10-11, 27-31 She is trusted and praised! Titus 2:3-5 The word of God is honored! 1Peter 3:5-6 She becomes Sarah's child!
V.23 ** Having seen the MANNER in which she is submissive is "as to the Lord", what REASON is given by the apostle as he pens this letter under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit? "For the husband is the head of the wife" ** What vitally important principle does this introduce? God has ordered His creation to function on the principle of authority and submission. These two pillars hold up and hold together all that God has created. Certainly within world governments and society we can see how important that is, but even in the marriage relationship (the smallest example possible) it is crucial, if our marriage is going to be the taste of Heaven it was designed to be and if God is going to be glorified. ** What example does Paul give of this principle? Christ is the head of the church. cf. Ephesians 1:22-23 ** Does a willingness to submit on the part of the wife to a God ordained headship imply she is inferior? Absolutely not! cf. Galatians 3:28, 1Peter 3:7, 1Corinthians 11:3 It says she is obedient to the Lord Himself. ** Does Jesus Christ use His position of authority over His church to get His way or to oppressively rule the church? No - He used it to become "the Savior of the body". Remember from last week, "He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross" (Philippians 2:8). V.24 ** So we have seen both the MANNER (as to the Lord) and the REASON (God has ordained a man to be the head of his wife) for the Holy Spirit filled wife to be submissive. What pattern is she given to follow? "as the church is subject to Christ" Just a footnote: That is when the church is subject to Christ! ** How extensively is the church to submit to Christ? He is LORD! We are always to be in subjection to Him! Our obedience implies our submission and love for the One who died on our behalf. ** Then how about the wife, how extensively is she to submit to her own husband? The same! The only path to true joy for a believer is to willingly fulfill the role with which we were called. Remember Luke 11:28! V.25 ** Now that all Christian wives have a submissive attitude in their reverence for their husband - the problems must all be solved and Paul has no need to address the Christian husband, right? Wrong! The original command back in verse 21 was for us all to be in subjection to one another. As husband's, we carry an even greater responsibility and therefore carry an even greater potential for causing problems in our marriage if we do not know how to manifest this same heart attitude.
** If wives are the submissive pillar, does Paul tell husbands to exercise authority, give commands, take charge!?! Of course not! The husband's authority is implied by the wife's submission. ** Even as he fills his God ordained role of authority, or head of the body (his marriage), how does the husband manifest his heart attitude of subjection toward his wife - what command does Paul give him to personally and specifically apply this truth? "Husbands love your wives" - Here again is the call to apply our subjective hearts to our own spouse! ** Like with the role of the wife, let's look at the MANNER and the REASON for this most important command which Paul has issued to every Christian husband. What word do you suppose Paul used here for love? agapao - this is the sacrificial, unconditional, action oriented love that God showed toward us in providing our salvation through the death of His only begotten Son! cf. John 3:16 When compared to the "love" the wife is to have for her husband; which we saw earlier in Titus 2:4 - philandros, from the root word phileo, meaning to be her husband's friend, this love willingly gives itself up for the object loved. ** Do you suppose the Christian husband is to love his wife so sacrificially because she is so submissive and such a godly example to him? No - This is a direct and independent command! She might be very disobedient at times (the church is to Christ) or she might not even be a believer. Remember what we saw in 1Corinthians 7:16 - "whether you will save your wife"! ** Alright then, what is the MANNER and to what extent is the husband to love his wife? "just as Christ also loved the church" ** How did Jesus Christ choose to show His love for the church? By giving "Himself up for her"! cf. Ephesians 5:2 & 23 ** Is it possible for someone to love his wife to much? No - we can love them in some wrong ways, but never to much. Jesus was driven by the love of God to give up His life for the church He loved, as husbands we should be willing to do the same thing everyday of our lives. Self denial is at the heart of this type of daily sacrifice on behalf of our beloved wife! V.26 ** For the REASON behind this marvelous attitude of subjection toward our wife, let's look closer at what Jesus accomplished in His loving display of sacrifice on behalf of the church. We are about to learn five things accomplished by Christ and as Christian husbands, our love for our wives should be able to accomplish the same things. 1) "He might sanctify her" hagiazo - to make holy, to set apart to God cf. Hebrews 10:10 The husband is to spend his life seeing to it that his wife is "set apart" to God.
2) "having cleansed her...with the word" cf. Titus 3:5 The husband is to continually purify his wife with the word of God. V.27 3) "present to Himself the church" cf.2corinthians 11:2 The husband is to work toward the goal of presenting his pure wife to God. 4) "having no spot or wrinkle" The absence of a moral or spiritual stain. cf. Deuteronomy 17:1 The husband is to know his wife and tenderly work at removing any such spot or wrinkle. 5) "she should be holy and blameless" cf. Colossians 1:22 When all is said and done, the husband needs to show his love for his wife by presenting her to God as one who is above reproach. ** How would you describe this kind of love? This love is totally committed, no matter what and places the object of its love above or before its own needs and desires. It is willing to make all sacrifices needed for a lifetime. cf. 1Corinthians 13:4-7 So the MANNER in which he is to love his wife is "just as Christ also loved His church", and the REASON is to bring glory to God through his beloved wife! EXTRICATE ** As you look back over today's text, how many rights in marriage have husbands and wives been reminded of by the apostle Paul? Absolutely none! We are only given blessed duties, designed by God Himself, to bring us joy and glory to His name. We need to lose ourselves in the specific role He has graciously granted to us and be faithful to the call. DELINEATE ** What was the MANNER and REASON for a Christian wife to be in subjection to her "own husband"? MANNER - "as to the Lord". REASON - God has ordained a man to be the head of his wife. ** What was the MANNER and REASON for a Christian husband to be "subject" to his wife? MANNER - "just as Christ also loved His church". REASON - to bring glory to God through his beloved wife. EVALUATE ** As you allow your heart to review what we have seen in this study, how are you responding to God's call and the specific role He has designed for your life in marriage? Is there one area of understanding or application that seems difficult or elusive to you? ACTIVATE
** We are spending two weeks on this most important topic of marriage from God's perspective. For next week, I would like to ask you to spend time alone or with your spouse, writing down questions or specific scenarios related to marriage, then bring those questions back to this text and let the Spirit of God direct you into your God honoring role. Closing prayer