GOD-HONORING RELATIONSHIPS
Rank the following descriptions of a person s spiritual maturity. Has entire New Testament memorized Has entire New Testament memorized in Greek Has one-hour daily quiet time Has two-hour daily quiet time Graduated from seminary Seldom misses church functions Listens to Christian music Drums for the worship team Leads studies on Ephesians Wears a tie to church at least 25% of the time. What is the mark of true spiritual maturity?
Paul s letter to the Ephesians began with three chapters of critical New Testament theology, emphasizing the believer s wealth in Christ. But Christianity is not a collection of abstract doctrines, an ivory tower religion of the mind. Paul contends in Chapters 4-6 that true spirituality always reveals itself in the rough and tumble of everyday life. Jesus simplified God s law to two commands to love to love God and to love others. This is the true measure of our faith. How fully do we love God? Is He uppermost in our affections? Not only that, but how well do we care for our spouses, children, and neighbors? How well do we get along with our coworkers? If our faith doesn t show itself vividly in our interactions with other people, the on looking world has every right to question the validity of our confession.
Submit To voluntarily surrender one s rights, not out of subservience of servility but out of willingness to function under the other s leadership. Paul introduces his teaching about specific relationships of authority and submission among Christians by declaring unequivocally that every Spirit-filled Christian needs to be a humble, submissive Christian. This is foundational to all the relationships in this section. No believer is inherently superior to any other believer. In their standing before God, they are equal in every way (Gal 3:28). Proper submission is a key theme of Spirit-filled living. Paul calls all believers to submit to their parents (Eph 6:1-3). Believers must submit to government laws and ordinances (Rom 13:1, 1 Pet 2:13). Younger men should submit to older men (1 Pet 5:5). God requires every believer to be submissive in the ways He has ordained. In the matter of submission, our primary concern should not be about whom we should be over but whom we should be under. Humility will prevent the submitting person from becoming burdened, and the person submitted to from becoming overbearing.
5:22 For wives, this means submit to your husbands as to the Lord. 5:23 For a husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of his body, the church. 5:24 As the church submits to Christ, so you wives should submit to your husbands in everything. 5:25 For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her 5:26 to make her holy and clean, washed by the cleansing of God s word. 5:27 He did this to present her to himself as a glorious church without a spot or wrinkle or any other blemish. Instead, she will be holy and without fault.
5:28 In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies. For a man who loves his wife actually shows love for himself. 5:29 No one hates his own body but feeds and cares for it, just as Christ cares for the church. 5:30 And we are members of his body. 5:31 As the Scriptures say, A man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one. 5:32 This is a great mystery, but it is an illustration of the way Christ and the church are one. 5:33 So again I say, each man must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.
6:1 Children, obey your parents because you belong to the Lord, for this is the right thing to do. 6:2 Honor your father and mother. This is the first commandment with a promise: 6:3 If you honor your father and mother, things will go well for you, and you will have a long life on the earth. 6:4 Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger by the way you treat them. Rather, bring them up with the discipline and instruction that comes from the Lord.
6:5 Slaves, obey your earthly masters with deep respect and fear. Serve them sincerely as you would serve Christ. 6:6 Try to please them all the time, not just when they are watching you. As slaves of Christ, do the will of God with all your heart. 6:7 Work with enthusiasm, as though you were working for the Lord rather than for people. 6:8 Remember that the Lord will reward each one of us for the good we do, whether we are slaves or free. 6:9 Masters, treat your slaves in the same way. Don t threaten them; remember, you both have the same Master in heaven, and he has no favorites.
5:22 For wives, this means submit to your husbands as to the Lord. To submit is taking the divinely ordered place in a relationship. Submission can never be required by one human being of another; it can only be given on the basis of trust, that is, to believe God s Word and to be willing to learn to grow in relationships. Women are never made second to men in general, but the wife is specifically called to accept her husband s leadership and not endeavor to dominate. The husband MUST lead with mutual respect. Mirror Note: Marriage is a portrait of this mutual yielding to one another.
5:23 For a husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of his body, the church. Head This word speaks of the God-ordained authority and leadership. Church - Used in secular Greek for an assembly of citizens and in the Septuagint for the congregation of Israel. The dominant use in the New Testament is to describe an assembly by company of Christians in the following ways: 1. The whole body of Christians 2. a local church constituting a company of Christians gathering for worship, sharing, and teaching 3. churches in a district The survival of the Christian church against all its opponents is assured in Jesus words from Matthew 16:18, upon this rock I will build my church, and all the powers of hell will not conquer it.
5:23 For a husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of his body, the church. Savior The word designates a deliverer, preserver, savior, benefactor, rescuer. It is used to describe both God the Father and Jesus the Son.
Ephesians 5:24-33 The verses put such demands upon the Christian husband that it is impossible to see how a charge of male chauvinism could be justly made against the Bible, or how a license to exploit women or wives could ever be claimed from such texts.
5:24 As the church submits to Christ, so you wives should submit to your husbands in everything. Mirror 5:24 The church enjoys the full advantage of the complete package of salvation, by yielding themselves fully of Christ; even so the wife enjoys every benefit her husband represents in her abandonment to him.
5:25 For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her Love your wives, just as Christ loved the church unreserved, selfless, sacrificial, unconditional love Christ The Anointed One. The word comes from the verb chrio, to anoint, referring to the consecration rites of a priest or king. Christos translates the Hebrew Mashiyach, Messiah. Unfortunately, the transliteration of Christos into English, resulting in the word Christ, deprives the word of much of its meaning. It would be better to translate Christos in every instance as the Anointed One or the Messiah, denoting a title. Jesus Christ actually means Jesus the Messiah, or Jesus the Anointed One, emphasizing the fact that the man Jesus was God s Anointed One, the promised Messiah.
Mirror 5:25 The husband loving his wife pictures the parallel of Christ loving the church completely, and his unreserved giving of himself to us. This is what marriage is all about; it celebrates love s initiative, whether coming from the husband or the wife. This awakens a different level of commitment beyond any sense of duty or guilt.
5:26 to make her holy and clean, washed by the cleansing of God s word. Make To hallow, set apart, dedicate, consecrate, separate, sanctify, make holy. In the New Testament the word describes a manifestation of life produced by the indwelling Holy Spirit. Because His Father set Him apart, Jesus is appropriately called the Holy One of God. 5:27 He did this to present her to himself as a glorious church without a spot or wrinkle or any other blemish. Instead, she will be holy and without fault. Make holy, Cleansing, Holy, Without Blemish The husband has a divine obligation to help lead his wife in purity or conformity with the image of Christ.
5:28 In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies. For a man who loves his wife actually shows love for himself. Mirror 5:28 (A man could go through many disciplines in life to make himself look good financially or even go to great expense to win the applause of others; he could diligently work out in the gym and trim his body to perfection) but the most valuable thing he can do to himself is to love his wife.
5:29 No one hates his own body but feeds and cares for it, just as Christ cares for the church. Feeds and Cares Warm and tender affection, attentiveness, and care for needs. Mirror 5:29 Consider how abnormal it would be for a man to abhor and detest his own body; the opposite is true! You would much rather pamper and fuss over your bodies. (It s all you ve got. You can t trade it in for a new one so take good care of it, watch what you feed it, how you exercise it, and gently nurse it when it is in pain.) Now get the message, you are the body of Christ; he does not merely tolerate you politely, he delights himself in you!
5:30 And we are members of his body. Mirror 5:30 We are his flesh and bone body; bearing his image and likeness. We give tangible expression of him.
5:31 As the Scriptures say, A man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one. Joined To glue or cement together, stick to, adhere to, join firmly. The word in the New Testament primarily describes the union of husband and wife. The word includes faithfulness, loyalty, and permanency in relationships.
6:1 Children, obey your parents because you belong to the Lord, for this is the right thing to do. Obey To hear as a subordinate, listen attentively, obey as a subject, answer and respond, submit without reservation. The word was used particularly of servants who were attentive to the requests made of them and who complied. The word thus contains the ideas of hearing, responding and obeying. Right Upright, blameless, righteous, conforming to God s laws and man s. The word was originally used to describe people who lived in accordance with rule or custom. In the New Testament it is used primarily of persons who correspond to the divine standard of right made possible through justification and sanctification.
6:2 Honor your father and mother. This is the first commandment with a promise: 6:3 If you honor your father and mother, things will go well for you, and you will have a long life on the earth. Honor To value highly, hold in the highest regard. Mirror 6:3 Both quality and duration of life on earth is impacted by the way children relate to their parents. Mirror Note: Length of life is meaningless outside of closeness in relationship.
6:4 Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger by the way you treat them. Rather, bring them up with the discipline and instruction that comes from the Lord. Do not provoke your children to anger Do not rule with domineering and authoritarian practices that crush the spirit of a child and cause him or her to lose heart. Mirror 6:4 Fathers, your role is not to exasperate your children (by giving them burdens and tasks too heavy to bear). You are rather to awaken their minds in an environment conducive to draw on every virtue that is in them in the Lord.
6:5 Slaves, obey your earthly masters with deep respect and fear. Serve them sincerely as you would serve Christ. Fear Not actual fright but deep respect for authority. Mirror 6:5 The next level of relationship equally implicated includes the heart attitude of a slave towards his owner; because of your devotion to Christ, you are now able to give your boss the same undivided, sincere respect and devotion. Mirror Note Remember we are talking practical church; the Christ-life celebrates love s initiative in transforming society!
6:6 Try to please them all the time, not just when they are watching you. As slaves of Christ, do the will of God with all your heart. Please them all the time Conscientious labor performed only in the boss s sight, but laziness when his back is turned. Heart The word means the soul distinguished from the body. It is the seat of the affections, will, desire, emotions, mind, reason, and understanding. It is the inner self or the essence of life. The word often denotes person or self.
6:7 Work with enthusiasm, as though you were working for the Lord rather than for people. Mirror 6:7 However menial the task, put your heart and mind into it as you would unto the Lord; he is your real Boss, not man.
6:8 Remember that the Lord will reward each one of us for the good we do, whether we are slaves or free. Free Freeborn, exempt from legal obligation, unconstrained. It is the opposite of enslaved. The word is derived from the verb meaning to come, go, thus describing the freedom to go where one chooses.
6:9 Masters, treat your slaves in the same way. Don t threaten them; remember, you both have the same Master in heaven, and he has no favorites. Don t threaten to loosen up, not throw one s weight around in an abusive or inconsiderate manner Favorites Favoritism, partiality, distinction, bias, conditional preference. The word denotes a biased judgement, which gives respect to rank, position, or circumstances instead of considering the intrinsic conditions. God shows no partiality in justice, judgement, or favorable treatment when dealing with people, and He expects us to follow His example.
As recent as fifty years ago, parenting in the Unites States was generally a much different thing than it is today. Though the point is arguable, most sociologists would likely agree that we have moved from an age where respect of parental authority was a given to a time when parents and children often compete for authority. Instead of parent-child relationships, many modern families feature friend-to-friend relationships, eschewing traditional roles. What do you feel has prompted this? What are the dangers of being your child s best friend?
There are no classifications of Christians. Every believer in Jesus Christ has exactly the same salvation, the same standing before God, the same divine nature and resources, and the same divine promises and inheritance. But in matters of role and function God has made distinctions. Although there are no differences in intrinsic worth or basic spiritual privileges and rights among His people, the Lord has given rulers in government certain authority over the people they rule, to church leaders He has given authority over the church, to husbands He has delegated authority over their wives, to parents He has given authority over their children, and to employers He has given authority over employees.
How would you explain to someone what it means to submit? List some of the primary ways parents tend to provoke and discourage their children. Given what you ve studied about God s intention for husbands, wives, children, and parents, what encourages you? Paul teaches more about honoring God in our relationships in Colossians 3:18-4:1