The Etiquette of Offering Condolences (حفظھ الله ( al- Anazy By Shaykh Badr ibn Muhammad al-badr (حفظھ الله ( Abdullah Translated by Abu Afnaan Muhammad All praise is due to Allah, the Lord of all Worlds and prayers and salutations upon the Seal of the Prophets and Messengers and his family. The basis for offering condolences (( (التعزية is to encourage the person who has been struck with some sort of calamity to have patience, by someone who is important to him. So offering condolences (عزاه) means to encourage him to handle it and be patient. The Merits of Offering Condolences On the authority of Amr Ibn Hazim who attributed to the Prophet ا هلل عليه وسل م) (صل ى that he said: No believer gives condolences to his brother due to some calamity except that Allah the Most High clothes him with garments of nobility/distinction on the Day of Judgement. [Narrated by Ibn Maajah, no.1600 and considered hasan by al-albaanee and it has other narrations which testify to its authenticity] The Sharee ah Ruling of Giving Condolences info@mpubs.org www.mpubs.org Page 1
Giving condolences is permissible due to the hadeeth of Buraydah who said: The Messenger of Allah used to look after the Ansaar by visiting them and asking about them. Thus it reached him that the son of a woman had died so he entered upon her and gave his condolences. [Narrated by al-bazzaar, no.857 and declared authentic by al-haakim and al- Albaanee] Also, in an-nasaa ee, no.1870: The Prophet ا هلل عليه وسل م) (صل ى gave condolences to a man whose son passed away. [Al-Albaanee declared it saheeh in at-targheeb, no.2007] Ibn Qudaamah mentioned in Al-Mughnee, vol.3, pg.485: We do not know of any difference of opinion regarding extending condolences to the family of the deceased being a recommended action. Ahmad gave condolences to Aba Taalib and stood at the door of the masjid and said: Allah increase your reward and extend good to your deceased. Imaam an-nawawee stated in Al-Majmoo, pg.277, vol.5: Ash-Shaafi ee stated - and scholars of his madhhab - that it is recommended to give condolences to all the relatives of the deceased, both young and old, men and women except if the woman is a young woman; then he is no one is to give her condolences except her mahaarim (those who cannot marry her as per the Sharee ah). The Manner of Giving Condolences info@mpubs.org www.mpubs.org Page 2
The Prophet ا هلل عليه وسل م) (صل ى said: To Allah belongs what He has taken and to Him belongs what He has given and everything (given) by Him has a preordained time. Be patient and seek the reward. [Narrated by Usaamah in al-bukhaaree and Muslim] If the individual states: May Allah increase your reward, make good your bereavement and forgive your deceased, it is permissible as it has been related by Imaam Ahmad and stated by an-nawawee in Al-Adhkaar, pg.126. The one who condolences are being extended to replies with: Jazaak Allah Khayran. [This was mentioned by Ibn Uthaymeen in Fataawaa Noor Alaa ad-darb, pg.264, vol.6] The Time of Offering Condolences It is permissible to offer condolences before burial and after it. However, after the burial is better and more praiseworthy as the family of the deceased is busy with burial preparations before the burial. [This was mentioned by an-nawawee in Al-Majmoo, pg.278, vol.5] Ibn Baaz stated in Al-Fataawa, pg.379, vol.13: Offering condolences does not have a set amount of days. Rather it is permissible to offer them once the soul has left the body before praying Janaazah upon the deceased. It is permissible to give condolences after the prayer and hastening to give condolences is better. info@mpubs.org www.mpubs.org Page 3
Some scholars mentioned that there is no limit restricting when to offer condolences because the reason for doing so is supplication (for the deceased) and encouraging patience unless the suffering family has forgotten their ordeal. Then, it is better to not give condolences so as to not remind them of their distress and thus bring about their sadness. Related Issues 1. Wailing, recounting the deeds of the deceased (النعي) and lamenting the deceased are all prohibited due to the texts which have been narrated stating as such. 2. Ibn Uthaymeen mentioned in the Fataawaa from Noor Alaa ad-darb, pg.267, vol.6: Regarding giving condolences through newspapers, I fear it is from the blameworthy an- Na ee. 3. Ibn Uthaymeen stated in the Fataawa from Noor Alaa ad-darb, pg.273, vol.6: Giving condolences does not require travelling in today s time owing to the presence of phones and faxes, unless the deceased is a relative such as one s brother or the like, then there is no harm. 4. There are two opinions in the madhhab of Ahmad concerning giving condolences to a kaafir. Shaykh al-luhaydaan mentioned to me that if the kaafir becoming Muslim is anticipated or the softening of his heart, then this individual can be given condolences. And if him becoming Muslim is not anticipated, then he is not given condolences. info@mpubs.org www.mpubs.org Page 4
5. [Regarding] giving condolences to a person of bid ah, Shaykh al-luhaydaan said to me: The people of bid ah, like the Raafidhah, are not given condolences. صل ى ا هلل عليه ( his 6. Ibn al-qayyim mentioned in Az-Zaad, pg.257, vol.1: It was not from guidance to gather for giving condolences or reading the Qur aan on behalf of the (وسل م deceased or at his grave or any other place (on his behalf) - all of these are innovated practices. 7. Ibn Uthaymeen mentioned in his Fataawa Noor Alaa ad-darb, pg.274, vol.6: It is allowed for a woman to give condolences to her female friend or female relative with the condition that she gives condolences and leaves, or stays for a short time and then leaves. 8. It is permitted to inform people of the death of a person so as to pray (Janaazah) upon him just as the Prophet ا هلل عليه وسل م) (صل ى informed the Companions of the death of an-najaashi. info@mpubs.org www.mpubs.org Page 5