R E V C H A R L E S E D W A R D C L A R K, J R. S E N I O R P A S T O R P E O P L E S C O M M U N I T Y C H U R C H
Phil 2:1-2 If you've gotten anything at all out of following Christ, if his love has made any difference in your life, if being in a community of the Spirit means anything to you, if you have a heart, if you care then do me a favor: Agree with each other, love each other, be deep-spirited friends.
Restoring broken fellowship requires maturity Eph 4:13-15 Till we all come in the unity of the faith, and of the knowledge of the Son of God, unto a perfect man, unto the measure of the stature of the fulness of Christ: That we henceforth be no more children, tossed to and fro, and carried about with every wind of doctrine, by the sleight of men, and cunning craftiness, whereby they lie in wait to deceive; But speaking the truth in love, may grow up into him in all things, which is the head, even Christ:
Quote p. 152-153 John 13:34-35 A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another. By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another.
1 Cor 6:1-7 Settling disputes 1 Cor 1:10 MSG I have a serious concern to bring up with you, my friends, using the authority of Jesus, our Master. I'll put it as urgently as I can: You must get along with each other. You must learn to be considerate of one another, cultivating a life in common.
We are called to be peacemakers. Matt 5:9 9 God blesses those who work for peace, for they will be called the children of God. Quote p 153 Peacemaking is not avoiding conflict or appeasement
Steps to restore relationships Talk to God before talking to the person Always take the initiative Sympathize with their feelings Confess your part of the conflict Attack the problem not the person Cooperate as much as possible Emphasize reconciliation not resolution
Always talk to God before talking to the person Ventilate vertically like David Ps 3:7 Ps 7:6 Ps 9:13 Ps 18:40 Ps 31:15
Understand the nature of conflicts James 4:1-2 NIV What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don't they come from your desires that battle within you? You want something but don't get it. You kill and covet, but you cannot have what you want. You quarrel and fight. You do not have, because you do not ask God.
Always take the initiative; first move Matt 5:23-26 "This is how I want you to conduct yourself in these matters. If you enter your place of worship and, about to make an offering, you suddenly remember a grudge a friend has against you, abandon your offering, leave immediately, go to this friend and make things right. Then and only then, come back and work things out with God.
"Or say you're out on the street and an old enemy accosts you. Don't lose a minute. Make the first move; make things right with him. After all, if you leave the first move to him, knowing his track record, you're likely to end up in court, maybe even jail. If that happens, you won't get out without a stiff fine.
Job 5:2 TEV To worry yourself to death with resentment would be a foolish, senseless thing to do. Job 18:4 TEV You are only hurting yourself with your anger. Will the earth be deserted because you are angry? Will God move mountains to satisfy you?
Sympathize with their feelings Listen there are two sides to every story Don t be defensive Don t try to talk them out of their feelings Discussions are always better than arguments, because an argument is to find out who is right, and a discusion is to find out what is right - SPIRIT SCIENCE
Ps 73:21-22 TEV When my thoughts were bitter and my feelings were hurt, I was as stupid as an animal; I did not understand you. We do some regrettable things when we are bitter and hurt
To restore relationships we must bear other believers Rom 15:1-3 Confess your part of the conflict Matt 7:5 1 John 1:8 Attack the problem not the person Prov 15:1 Prov 16:21 Eph 4:29
Paul s summary Eph 4:29 TEV Do not use harmful words, but only helpful words, the kind that build up and provide what is needed, so that what you say will do good to those who hear you.
Cooperate as much as possible Rom 12:10 Rom 12:18 Phil 2:3 Matt 5:9 MSG "You're blessed when you can show people how to cooperate instead of compete or fight. That's when you discover who you really are, and your place in God's family.
Emphasize reconciliation not resolution Reconciliation focuses on the relationship, while resolution focuses on the problem. When we focus on reconciliation, the problem loses significance and often becomes irrelevant. p. 158 Disagree without being disagreeable
Point to ponder: Relationships are always worth restoring. Verse to remember: Do everything possible on you part to live in peace with everybody. -Rom 12:18 TEV Question to consider: Who do I need to restore a broken relationship with today?
2 Cor 5:18 GWT God has done all this. He has restored our relationship with him through Christ, and has given us this ministry of restoring relationships. Relationships are always worth restoring