SESSION 5 OVERCOME BITTERNESS

SESSION 5 OVERCOME BITTERNESS 108 SESSION 5

How would you describe he ase of bierness? BIBLE STUDIES FOR LIFE 109

THE POINT Relaionships can only move forward wih forgiveness. THE BIBLE MEETS LIFE I has been said ha harboring unforgiveness is like drinking poison and expecing he oher person o ge sick. Bu le s admi i: forgiving anoher person can be hard. Really hard. During a rouine sweep of Cenral Park, NYPD officer, Seven McDonald, was sho in he back of he head hree imes by a 15-year-old kid. Because of ha one momenary ac of violence, Seven has spen he las 28 years confined o a wheelchair as a quadriplegic. Since ha day, he has been exremely limied in wha he can do. He hasn held his wife in wo decades. He has never held or played cach wih his son, who was born jus a few monhs afer he acciden. Bu Seven has done one hing. He forgave he young man who sho him. I forgave Shavod because I believe he only hing worse han receiving a bulle in my spine would have been o nurure revenge in my hear. Such an aiude would have exended my injury o my soul, huring my wife, son, and ohers even more. I s bad enough ha he physical effecs are permanen, bu a leas I can choose o preven spiriual injury. I have come o realize ha anger is a wased emoion. In our sudy of he life of Joseph, we ve seen a man who had every reason o feel hur, angry, and bier, bu he oo chose forgiveness. Research shows ha bier people have higher blood pressure and hear rae and are more likely o die of hear disease and oher illnesses.1 110 SESSION 5

WHAT DOES THE BIBLE SAY? Genesis 45:3-11 Joseph said o his brohers, I am Joseph! Is my faher sill living? Bu hey could no answer him because hey were errified in his presence. 3 Then Joseph said o his brohers, Please, come near me, and hey came near. I am Joseph, your broher, he said, he one you sold ino Egyp. 4 And now don be worried or angry wih yourselves for selling me here, because God sen me ahead of you o preserve life. 5 For he famine has been in he land hese wo years, and here will be five more years wihou plowing or harvesing. 6 God sen me ahead of you o esablish you as a remnan wihin he land and o keep you alive by a grea deliverance. 7 Therefore i was no you who sen me here, bu God. He has made me a faher o Pharaoh, lord of his enire household, and ruler over all he land of Egyp. 8 Reurn quickly o my faher and say o him, This is wha your son Joseph says: God has made me lord of all Egyp. Come down o me wihou delay. 9 You can sele in he land of Goshen and be near me you, your children, and grandchildren, your sheep, cale, and all you have. 10 The Seing The famine was widespread. Joseph s faher heard Egyp had food and sen his remaining sons o purchase some. Joseph recognized his brohers when hey came, hough hey did no recognize him. Afer a series of ess, Joseph evenually revealed his ideniy o hem, sressed God had placed him here o keep hem alive, and urged hem o move he whole clan o Egyp so he could beer provide for hem during he remainder of he famine. There I will susain you, for here will be five more years of famine. Oherwise, you, your household, and everyhing you have will become desiue. 11 BIBLE STUDIES FOR LIFE 111

THE POINT Relaionships can only move forward wih forgiveness. The larges family reunion ever had 4,514 people and was achieved by he Poreau-Boileve family on Augus 12, 2012.2 GENESIS 45:3-4 The famine God had revealed o Pharaoh affeced he whole region. Bu because Pharaoh was willing o heed he warning of he dream, he ook seps so ha he counry would no be oally ruined by he famine (Gen. 41:36). Egyp ook seven years of abundance and earmarked some of i o ge hem hrough he seven years of famine. Oher areas of he world did no fare so well. Jacob and his family were among hose who suffered, bu hey joined he naions coming o Egyp for grain. Genesis 42 44 ell us abou he game Joseph played wih his brohers, preending o be harsh. I was only afer Judah pleaded for Benjamin s life (Gen. 44:18-34) ha Joseph revealed who he was, allowing his brohers back ino his world. I am Joseph, may no have been he mos difficul words for Joseph o speak, bu wha happened aferward cerainly could have gone differenly. He could have followed his inroducion by asking, Hey, how do you like my coa now? Ever been in a pi? Le me inroduce you o one, based on he way his brohers had reaed him years earlier. However afer revealing his ideniy, he exposed his values and longing by asking if his faher was sill living. Share This Wha a momen for Joseph s brohers! In an insan, hey exchanged he weigh of guil and lies for a hear-sopping realizaion ha he nex few momens migh be heir las. Bu insead, Joseph invied hem o come closer. The brohers received an inviaion o be resored in heir relaionship. The dreamer hey had once despised so severely and had removed from heir presence offered hem a chance o come close again. They were given a second chance: he burden of heir lies removed, he relaionship repaired, forgiveness exended. Only Joseph had he power o make his happen. How can we le go of he pas wihou forgeing i? 112 SESSION 5

GENESIS 45:5-8 ission m m o C vs. here are sins we ul n o i s s i es Om s o sin, a is a r Joseph added one more amazing saemen: I was all God s plan. No only did Joseph s words imply his forgiveness, bu hey also allowed his brohers o see ha hey had all been insrumens in God s plan. Joseph had jus heard Judah share heir family hisory, and he may have been affeced by he way Judah relayed he sory. Maybe he weigh of ha decision and he accompanying guil had aged or sofened his older broher. Possibly Joseph saw he guil on Judah s face or heard he shame in his voice. h come ere is sin a we should h When i n e h and g wh commi no doin he following n io ac w of our in Deermine ho. e n sion: have do s of omis ae. in s e b a classm h could i w l e he gosp haring YY No s The brohers had paid a high price all heir lives for he awful hing hey had done o heir broher. Bu Joseph old hem no o grieve or worry over wha hey had done. Joseph gave his brohers permission o sand all. Joseph said i was God and no his brohers who had sen him here o Egyp. fore a sleep be s h ig good n e. ormanc eing a f r e p r YY No g o, e, mee big gam dy u ue o s s min il he la n u g in YY Wai exam. for he YY God brough a caravan by a jus he righ ime (Gen. 37:25). YY God inroduced Joseph o he baker and he cupbearer (Gen. 40:2-4). YY God sen he dreams o Pharaoh and gave Joseph he abiliy and he opporuniy o inerpre his dreams and offer a plan of acion (Gen. 41:25-36). God is also a work in your life, even in difficul, rying circumsances. Consider ha God may be using difficul siuaions and difficul people o bring you ino a beer place and a closer walk wih Him. Don hold hose circumsances agains he oher people involved. Allow God o work hrough your hearfel, hones words words ha could speak freedom and forgiveness. Wha makes i difficul o forgive someone? BIBLE STUDIES FOR LIFE 113

THE POINT Relaionships can only move forward wih forgiveness. GENESIS 45:9-11 Resoraion is an amazing hing. When you move ino a resored home, i is like a brandnew house. Over ime, you sop hinking abou wha i used o be like. In 2011, U.S. fire deparmens repored $6.9 billion in direc damage.3 A friend who had a house fire old me abou moving ino heir renovaed home afer insurance paid o fix he damages. They walked hrough he new fron door ono he new ceramic ile o see new cabines and plumbing, new lighs, new closes, and a new fireplace wih a beauiful new manel. He old me laer he could hardly remember wha i looked like before he fire. A resored home is nice, bu a resored relaionship is really amazing. When Joseph covered he relaionship wih his brohers in forgiveness, all of heir lives had aken on a new color and a new exure. The doorway of resenmen and hur was pulled down and replaced wih an enrance ino love and concern. They sared walking on a new foundaion in heir relaionship ha no longer was cracked, broken, or worn ou from berayal and lies; hey walked on hope insead. Joseph knew one man sill was filled wih mourning and sorrow: his faher Jacob. Joseph direced his brohers o leave immediaely and o ell heir faher he news. They were o ell he ruh his ime. Jacob s 13 years of grief would finally urn o joy; he surely would remember he dreams Joseph had as a eenager and realize hey had come o pass. The separaion beween Joseph and his family had been more han he disance beween hem. Their relaionships had been broken. Bu Joseph wished for inimacy again. And jus like in verse 4 when he asked his brohers o come closer, in verse 10 he emphasized his desire for family closeness again. The space beween hem was removed wih forgiveness. How did Joseph's acions in his sory mirror God's Wha acions on acions oward us? our par begin and mainain he process 114 SESSION 5 RULOSAPIRE / PHOTOCASE.COM of reconciliaion?

"Bierness is like drinking ra poison and waiing for he ra o die." 4 J O H N O R T B E R G, J R. APPLY IT From Forgiveness Where do you need o deal wih he issue of forgiveness? YY Idenify your hurs. Think hrough he pain poins in your life where you have harbored unforgiveness. Ask God o give you undersanding of your hurs from ha siuaion, and ask Him o help you forgive even as He has forgiven you. YY Seek forgiveness. If ohers may be harboring unforgiveness oward you, seek hem ou and ask for forgiveness. Ask God for srengh, graciousness, and love as you alk o hem. YY Encourage ohers. If you know of people who have o Forgiveness Receiving God s forgiveness should moivae us o exend forgiveness o ohers. To read he Essenial Connecion suden devoion, "From Forgiveness o Forgiveness," visi BibleSudiesForLife.com/aricles or scan his QR code. broken relaionships, prayerfully go o hem and encourage hem o pursue forgiveness. Le hem know you will walk wih hem hrough he process if hey need a friend. BIBLE STUDIES FOR LIFE 115

LIVE IT OUT SEEK FORGIVENESS Mahew 5:23-24 We've all been in siuaions where we did or said somehing ha hur someone else. Wheher inenionally or no, our words and acions can cause ension in our relaionships. Asking for forgiveness is no easy, bu i is essenial for healhy and God-honoring relaionships. Consider if here is anyone in your life from whom you need seek forgiveness. Ask God for he grace, humiliy, and courage o pursue resoraion wih ha person. In he space below, jo down wha you wan o say o him or her. 116 SESSION 5

LIVE IT OUT FORGIVEN Ephesians 1:7-8 In he space below, wrie he word "forgiveness." For one minue, si and reflec abou wha ha word means. Recognize he magniude of wha God's forgiveness means for you. For hose who are in Chris, forgiveness is cerain, complee, and eernal. Spend some ime hanking God for he gif of His infinie grace. A ip: hhfind a song ha speaks o he power of forgiveness. Lisen o i several imes his week. BIBLE STUDIES FOR LIFE 117

REFERENCES UNIT 2, SESSION 1 UNIT 2, SESSION 5 1. Facors parens should consider when using a pacifier, Calora Baby, [cied March 29, 2014]. Available from he Inerne: hp://www.calorababy.co.za. 2. Rebecca Sample Gersung, Do You Have a Favorie Child? New Research Says Tha You Do, ivillage, 28 Sepember 2011, [cied March 22, 2014]. Available from he Inerne: hp://www.ivillage.com. 3. Youh Spors Saisics, Saisic Brain, 10 Sepember 2013, [cied March 22, 2014]. Available from he Inerne: hp://www.saisicbrain.com. 4. Charles Sanley, How o Lisen o God (Nashville, TN: Thomas Nelson, 1985), 19. 1. Elizabeh Cohen, Blaming ohers can ruin your healh, CNN Healh, 18 Augus 2011, [cied March 22, 2014]. Available from he Inerne: hp://www.cnn.com. 2. Larges Family Reunion, Guiness World Records, [cied March 22, 2014]. Available from he Inerne: hp://www.guinnessworldrecords.com. 3. Fas Facs Abou Fire, Naional Fire Proecion Associaion, [cied March 29, 2014]. Available from he Inerne: hps://www.nfpa.org. 4. John Orberg, Jr. Quoes, Goodreads, [cied March 21, 2014]. Available from he Inerne: hps://www.goodreads.com. UNIT 2, SESSION 2 UNIT 2, SESSION 6 1. Bre Nelson and Kay Finneran, Dumbes Warning Labels, www.forbes.com, (published February 23, 2011), (accessed March 17, 2014). 2. Peer Carlson, Hey, he labels are kind of supid, bu don say hey didn ry o warn you, The Seale Times, 6 November 2006, [cied March 22, 2014]. Available from he Inerne: hp://communiy.sealeimes.nwsource.com. 3. 11 Sunning Saisics Prove Slavery Didn Die 150 Years Ago, Policy Mic, [cied March 29, 2014]. Available from he Inerne: hp://www.policymic.com. 4. Abou Us, The Color Run, [cied March 29, 2014]. Available from he Inerne: hp://www.hecolorrun.com. 5. J. C. Ryle, The Pries, The Purian, and The Preacher (New York, NY: Rober Carer and Broher, 1856), 237. 1. Infographic of he Day: Tornado Alley Map Sas, Global Economic Inersecion, 6 June 2013, [cied March 24, 2014]. Available from he Inerne: hp://www.econinersec.com. 2. Saisics, Naional Funeral Direcors Associaion, [cied March 29, 2014]. Available from he Inerne: hp://nfda.org. 3. Facs abou Sibling Abuse, Sibling Abuse, [cied March 29, 2014]. Available from he Inerne: hp://sibling-abuse.com. 4. Abraham Lincoln Quoes, Brainy Quoe, [cied March 22, 2014]. Available from he Inerne: hp://www.brainyquoe.com. UNIT 2, SESSION 3 1. Researchers idenify Busy Lifesyle Syndrome as new condiion ha makes you forgeful, news.com, [cied March 29, 2014]. Available from he Inerne: hp://www.news.com.au. 2. Harvard Medical School, Tone Deafness Explained, ScienceDaily, [cied March 22, 2014]. Available from he Inerne: hp://www.sciencedaily.com. 3. Dream Facs, DreamDicionary.org, [cied March 29, 2014]. Available from he Inerne: hp://www.dreamdicionary.org. 4. Moher Theresa Quoes, Brainy Quoe, [cied March 22, 2014]. Available from he Inerne: hp://www.brainyquoe.com. UNIT 2, SESSION 4 1. Sefanos Chen, Ho Sa: Today s Homes Burn Faser Than Ever, AOL Real Esae, 7 November 2011, [cied March 22, 2014]. Available from he Inerne: hp://realesae.aol.com. 2. Hunger Saisics, World Food Programme, [cied March 22, 2014]. Available from he Inerne: hp://www.wfp.org. 3. 9 Foods Tha Las Forever, Sill Tasy, [cied March 22, 2014]. Available from he Inerne: hp://www.sillasy.com. 4. Chrisian Quoes - Anxiey and Worry Index, Daily Chrisian Quoe, [cied March 22, 2014]. Available from he Inerne: hp://dailychrisianquoe.com. BONUS UNIT 1. Bob Smieana, Half of evangelicals believe prayer can heal menal illness, LifeWay NewsRoom, 17 Sepember 2013, [cied March 24, 2014]. Available from he Inerne: blog.lifeway.com. 2. Depression, Cener for Disease Conrol and Prevenion, [cied March 24, 2014]. Available from he Inerne: hp://www.cdc.gov. 3. Tara Parker-Pope, Suicide Raes Rise Sharply in U.S., nyimes. com, 2 May 2013, [cied March 17, 2014]. Available from he Inerne: nyimes.com. 4. Ceners for Disease Conrol and Prevenion, Youh Suicide, cdc.gov, 19 January 2014, [cied March 17, 2014]. Available from he Inerne: cdc.gov. 5. Sigma of Menal Illness, Cener for Disease Conrol and Prevenion, [cied March 24, 2014]. Available from he Inerne: hp://www.cdc.gov. 6. Moher Teresa Quoes, Brainy Quoe, [cied March 24, 2014]. Available from he Inerne: hp://www.brainyquoe.com.