Beloved congregation of our Lord Jesus Christ,

Liturgy: Reading : 2 Sam. 18 : 19 19 : 8 Text : 2 Sam. 18 : 33 Ps. 97 : 1,5 Ps. 97 : 6 Ps. 12 : 4 (after baptism) Ps. 3 : 2,3 (after the reading of God s Word) Ps. 72 : 10 (after the sermon) Ps. 73 : 8 (collection and closing song) Beloved congregation of our Lord Jesus Christ, After David s sin of committing adultery with Bathsheba and in trying to cover this up also the sin of murdering Uriah after all this, beloved, somehow life in David s family would have never been the same again. True, the LORD forgave David, which meant the relationship with the LORD was completely restored without any if s or but s, unconditionally. On behalf the LORD, Nathan was allowed to say to David, The LORD has put your sin away. Gone as I said it last week similar to what happened on the Day of Atonement, when the scapegoat burdened with the sins of the people was sent away into the desert. Gone! That s how God forgives sin. How great and wonderful a gospel this is. David later on sings of it with the words of Psalm 32, Blessed is he whose transgression is forgiven. Blessed is the man to whom the LORD does not impute iniquity. With these words, David rejoices in God s wonderful grace. Yet, beloved, although David s sins were put away by the LORD, at the same Nathan still had to say to David also the following 2 Samuel 12 : 11 and 12 because of what you have done, killing Uriah and taking his wife because of this the sword shall not depart from your house I will raise up adversity against you from your own house; and I will take your wives before your eyes and give them to your neighbour, and he shall lie with your wives in the sight of this sun. For you did it secretly, but I will do this thing before all Israel, before the sun. Page 1 of 13

We see all this coming true in the chapters that follow, in particular in the rebellion of Absalom and the events preceding this rebellion, ending with David s grief about Absalom. Again, beloved, these are some very dark pages in the OT history of redemption. Yet like every page of Scripture, also these pages contain a lesson for us. That s what we will focus on this morning, so that we may still see the gospel revealed to us also in this part of Scripture. This morning we will look in particular at DAVID S GRIEF OVER THE DEATH OF HIS SON ABSALOM We will pay attention 1) First to the events that culminated in Absalom s death 2) Next we will look at David s grief, the intensity of it 3) and also at David s desire expressed in his grief I The author of 2 Samuel, beloved, starts the story of Absalom in Ch. 13, where we read that Amnon, David s oldest son, violated Tamar, who was Amnon s half-sister yet a full sister of Absalom. After Amnon s terrible act, Tamar seeks refuge with Absalom, her brother, who out of revenge for what Amnon had done to his sister Tamer murders Amnon. When David gets to know about this, Absalom seeks refuge in Geshur to escape the wrath of David, where he stayed for three years. In Ch. 13, 39 we read that during those years David longs to be reunited with Absalom. The difficulty, however, was that Absalom still had to be sentenced for the murder committed by him. This did put David in a very difficult position. It meant though longing for his son, at the same time true re-union seemed to be impossible. Yet, at the intervention of Joab, arrangements are made so that Absalom is allowed to return to Jerusalem. Nevertheless, he remains banned from the royal palace. All in all a very crooked arrangement, which did not really resolve the matter, from neither side. Page 2 of 13

Meanwhile Absalom, showing no signs of true repentance whatsoever, continues to map out his own course. When after two years he still is not invited to the king s palace, he decides to take matters in his own hands. According to Absalom, his father s decision to let him come to Jerusalem but refusing to invite him into the palace was rather confusing. After all, there should be true reconciliation or no reconciliation at all, nothing of this half-hearted business. If there was need for the death penalty, let it be. That s how Absalom reasons, when he speaks with Joab asking him to mediate once again. We see here Absalom in a very arrogant way trying to get things his way. From his side there is no repentance whatsoever. Of course, Absalom knew full well that David did not want to hear about a death penalty. Hence, a meeting takes place to seal true reconciliation, Ch. 14: 33. True reconciliation that s what David hoped for. However, things turned out differently, since deep down Absalom knew only one desire to become king in his father s place. Absalom had only one desire: to find honour and glory men in the sight of men, which was to him much more important than to find favour in the eyes of the LORD. We see this happen so often when people only look for own glory, instead of seeking God s glory first. Everything must give way to the fulfilment of their own sinful desires. Chapter 15 informs us about Absalom s treason, a rebellious coup, which shook David s kingship on its foundations. From a human point of view, it seemed that David s days were numbered. The stage for Absalom s triumph seems to be set. He had played his cards well by seeking beforehand the favour of the people. In all this, we see the words of the prophet Nathan come true: the sword hitting David s house very hard in a war among brethren, who should be one. Page 3 of 13

At the start of the rebellion, David flees Jerusalem, deeply humiliated, weeping, his head covered, going barefoot. All this shows his deep grief and sorrow. At this moment, David can t think of how to counteract this rebellion. Instead, he humbles himself before the LORD remembering his guilt. David humbles himself before the LORD. It s there where he find strength, and doing, we also see from that moment on events taking a turn. I like to note here that ultimately this was not because of David humbling himself before the LORD. Instead, we see the LORD at work here; the LORD, who at the time that He cut a covenant with David, had said My mercy shall not depart from you. Thus it is by putting his trust in the LORD that David finds rest even in this difficult circumstances. Later on David also expresses this trust in a psalm he made most likely shortly after these events, Psalm 3. Indeed a wonderful psalm! Beloved, just think of all the events I just mentioned, and then read Psalm 3, beloved. It gives you a picture of David completely at rest. Well, that s what true trust in the LORD does. We surely can learn from that! Let us go back to the events recorded in 2 Samuel. From a human point of view, one of the greatest blows for David was that Ahithophel, one of the wisest and most respected counsellors of the royal court had sided with Absalom. Yet also here David lays his cause in the LORD s hand, asking the LORD to turn the counsel of Ahithophel into foolishness, and this is exactly what happened. Also on this occasion Ahithophel gave good advice, saying to Absalom, make the most of the moment, pursue David straightaway. Yet the LORD caused this wise counsel to be rejected, when next to Ahithophel Absalom seeks advice also from Hushai, whom David had sent back to Jerusalem to defend his cause. Hushai boldly and persuasively puts forward another plan not to search out Da- Page 4 of 13

vid yet, but rather to wait until all Israel is gathered, then launch a massive attack. How great the victory then will be. Well, Absalom likes nothing more than a great victory in which his person will shine. Yet the truth of it was that Absalom s cause lost momentum, whilst it gave David time to regroup and this was exactly why Hushai had given this advice. Meanwhile we should not forget that ultimately all this was from the LORD, who had as we read it 2 Sam 17, 14 purposed to defeat the good advised of Ahithophel, to the intent that the LORD might bring disaster upon Absalom. Following the advice of Hushai, a full scale battle ensues, in which from a human point of view Absalom easily could have defeated David. From a human point of view however, beloved, we should not forget that the battle, which David fought was no human battle, but the LORD s battle. Because of the promises God had given to David, Absalom so to speak did stand no chance to win this battle. Also in this instance, we should look at the battle behind the battle, seeing Satan is at work here to thwart God s plan of redemption. Also in this battle, we see the dragon standing before the woman with child, to prevent this child from being born. Beloved, that s ultimately at stake here in the battle between Absalom and his followers and David and his men. And so it is the LORD who gives David the victory to make the promise of the Messiah come true, even through this deep valley and despite all the sins there were, also from David s side. That s God, beloved, in His faithfulness. Then we can only marvel also today, when we see this same faithfulness revealed also in our life, despite the many sins there are often also from our side. Page 5 of 13

Thus, God gave David the victory. Yet when David hears about the victory of his army, there is no joy in his heart. Instead, he is overwhelmed with sorrow, since in the battle also Absalom had been killed. And. Br. & Sr., who would not empathize with David in this dreadful hour, despite the victory that had been obtained. To lose a child is one thing. David had experienced this before. Yet to lose a child in the way Absalom died seems almost unbearable. This brings us to the second point of this morning s sermon: the intensity of David s grief. II O my son Absalom my son, my son Absalom if only I had died in your place! O Absalom my son, my son. The awful repetition in David s outburst conveys his anguish at the loss of his son. In spite of all the harm Absalom had caused, David is overcome by grief, so much so that the only thing he can say over and over again, My son Absalom, my son; my son Absalom. Where in other situations David was able to sing himself out of his grief think of the lament on Saul and Jonathan, in which David gave expression to his emotions at that time when he hears that Absalom has died, it seems David does not know where to go which his grief. He indeed seems to be at a total loss. David s army had obtained the victory. Yet on this day, David feels more a father than a king, since his love for Absalom was great. We may conclude this from Ch. 13, 39, where we read that David s soul longed for Absalom, even though he had murdered Ammon. For this very same reason, before the battle had started David had urged Joab and the other commanders to deal gently with the young man Absalom. And now Absalom had been killed in the battle. The joy of the victory fades away in view of this message. It causes David to be a total loss, not knowing where to go with his grief. Page 6 of 13

One can understand the ultimate reason for this, namely that there was no longer any hope for this child of David. When the little child of David and Bathsheba became ill and died after seven days, at that time there still was the comfort that this child was with the LORD. David also confessed this at the time saying, I shall go to him, but he shall not return to me. Yet David cannot say this now. That s why his grief is so intense. Yes, who of this morning would be able to understand the intensity of the grief of father David? Perhaps parents who themselves saw children die in their unbelief. No doubt as many a parent does in circumstances like these so also David would have asked himself the question, What could I have done in the past, so that things perhaps would have turned out differently? Questions of selfreproach, if only I had done this, or done that. In David s case he must also have sought of that word of Nathan, the sword shall never depart from your house. The mess we make of our life at times, which can also affect the lives of our children. True, we may rejoice in forgiveness, but despite the joy of being forgiven by God, there still can be the anguish about things that can never be undone again. Especially parents, who see children walking away from the LORD often struggle with these things. If only Perhaps we should have talked more with our child, or we should have said things differently so that it did not rub the wrong way. Reflecting on the task we did as a parent, who would say of him- or herself, that there were never any mistakes or shortcomings that caused things to go wrong. In this context, I would like to note that this not only applies to parents of wayward children. For also when our children do walk in the ways of the LORD, is this our doing? Is it because we always lived clearly by example, because we as parents always taught them the right thing, testifying about the LORD? Page 7 of 13

Beloved, all parents need Christ. Also when things do turn out all right, also then we can only confess: despite the many sins and shortcomings, despite the many times we failed as parents, it is only for Christ s sake that our children still serve the LORD. Let us honestly admit that we are often but very weak instruments in the hands of the LORD. Indeed, we can only praise God for His work in the lives of our children, when things do go right! This does not minimize the responsibility we as parents have. Surely not. Yet the point is that we remain humble also in the task we do as parents, giving all honour and glory to God alone. This also helps not too quickly to point fingers, when we see children of other families walking away from the LORD. Instead of pointing fingers, let us rather marvel at God s grace that we don t have to go through that same grief. I already mentioned that it is because of the life Absalom had lived that in this hour David s grief is more intense than at the time that the little child from him and Bathsheba died or when Ammon was murdered. At that time, David knew where to go with his grief. Yet Absalom had lived in rebellion against God s anointed king, had lived only for own honour and that s how he had died too. Well, this can only mean one thing. If there had been no repentance from Absalom s side during those last minutes of his life, whilst hanging in the branches of the tree before Joab murdered him if during those last minutes there had been no repentance from Absalom s side, his life would have ended up in hell. Your child, Absalom, my son! This must be grief so deep and intense, that you will never be able to go through it, unless you are carried, carried by the LORD; unless you find refuge with the LORD also then, refuge to give it to Him, who is righteous in all His ways, gracious in all His works. Yes, it is with the LORD alone, where parents who grieve about their wayward children, will find rest, Page 8 of 13

not always understanding things, still feeling the hurt, but able to cope through strength from above. David is stricken with grief, grief that the time to do something for Absalom that might have turned him back that time was no longer there. Thoughts that may have crossed David s mind at that time might well have been, if only I had tried to speak with Absalom during those years I banned him from the palace. If perhaps, Absalom only had seen how much his father grieved for him also at that time. Without pointing fingers at David here, nevertheless here is a lesson for us, for all of us, namely to make the most of the time of today s grace, a time during which there is still hope for repentance for those who have walked away from the LORD. To use this time, not only as parents when children go astray, but equally as siblings reaching out to that brother or sister instead of writing him or her off. Yes, here is a task for all of us to still reach out, even in cases where children of God have broken with the church. Beloved, looking in this way at our families, but also at the city and country we live in, whose heart would not be moved to indeed reach out, to reach out with the gospel of grace for sinners. LORD, guide me to make myself a useful instruments, so that later on I never can blame myself with words, if only had spoken with him or her earlier. May the LORD prevent that it will never come to grief when it is too late, but let our current grief motivate us to reach out today. Page 9 of 13

III Stricken by grief, David cries out, O Absalom my son, my son. At the same time and this brings us to the third point of the sermon at the same time in his grief David also expresses as his desire, If only I had died in your place!. Why does David say this and what does he mean saying this. What is this desire David expresses here. One could think of this, if David had died, he knew where he was going: to be with the LORD. If Absalom instead had received a longer life, it would have given him time to repent, time in today s grace for a rebellious son. David would not have minded to die if this could have prolonged Absalom s life to give him time to repent. We see here in David the image of Christ, who gave His life to prolong the life of sinners. After all, beloved, how come that we live today, live with the opportunity each day anew to be reconciled to God. The answer is: only for Christ s sake. Only because of the cross of Golgotha, where Christ gave His life, also for us and our children, to receive life in and through him. Life to live for the LORD, and where we fail to do so to give us still time to straighten things out, to break with sin and to turn to God. Let us all make sure that this time of grace will never run out on us, so that in the time of judgment it will testify against us. In addition, let us radiate the joy of having peace with God, not being afraid to die, when the time comes, radiating this joy also in reaching out to those who are in need of repentance. At the time that Absalom died, David must have been about 50 65 years old, roughly that age bracket. In our text, he expresses as his desire that he would gladly sacrifice the time the LORD would still give him in this life, if it could give life to Absalom. Page 10 of 13

Sacrificing your life so that there is time for your child to turn to the LORD. In actual terms, we can t do this. Yet for a moment let me put it this way, living in today s grace, still receiving time to spend also with our children, are we willing to bring sacrifices. Are we keen to speak with them about the things that really matter in life; to speak with them not only when they are young reading Bible stories, checking their homework, and so on but also when they go through rebellious times and perhaps have already left home, at times may no longer attend church. Are we willing to sacrifice time also then? Earlier in the sermon, I said that in expressing this desire, if only I had died in your place! David showed the image of Christ. Yet at the same time He could not do, what Christ did. David wanted to die for someone else. Yet he couldn t. Even if David had died instead of Absalom, he could not give to Absalom what he really wanted to give him: faith! Even if Absalom had lived longer, there was no certainty that he would have repented. Faith, repentance no matter how dearly parents want it, they cannot give it to their children. If only we could. Yet the LORD Jesus, in giving His life for sinners, did not only create the opportunity to come to faith and repentance, but He gives faith itself, which turns sinners into believers. Only Christ can do this! This morning we focussed on Absalom in his rebellion against David, which was more than rebellion of a son against his father, which in itself is already terrible. Yet in Absalom s case, it was rebellion against the king appointed by God, rebellion against the LORD s anointed, through whom God provided life for His people, life also in a very practical way through the laws God had given. Living in obedience to these wholesome commandments of God created a climate of justice and righteousness. Under the reign of OT theocratic king the Israelites received as a foretaste of the perfect life God s children will enjoy on Page 11 of 13

the new earth. The rebellion of Absalom was that he no longer felt happy in that climate, that s why rebelled against David. Now admittedly, David was not a perfect king, far from that. But then let us draw the line through. Jesus Christ is a perfect king. He conquered the Devil. That s how He became our king, blessing us with His Spirit, protecting us against the attacks of the evil one. Life is good under the reign of this king. Yet, beloved, how much rebellion is there also today, at times even by church members, who don t want to listen to this king, who think they know better and so they turn their back upon this king. They want to be their own king, since according to them this gives more freedom. Yet the story of Absalom teaches us what this may lead to a warning lesson for all, who live in sin and who think, there is nothing to fear. Yet for all who turn to Jesus, acknowledging His kingship over their lives, for them there is life, life for sinners lost in guilt. Christ did what David could not do. By His sacrifice on the cross, He took away sin and obtained for us the life giving Spirit, who worked faith in our hearts and renews us day by day, to live a life in obedience, not as a burden, but as a joy. This life is there for everyone, to whom the LORD in today s grace still gives time to repent. That s the comfort, from which parents who struggle with grief over wayward children may draw strength. Moreover, in our grief, also when there will be no repentance God will give what is needed to dry tears, to give it to Him and so still to receive peace, as David did. This brings to an end a short series of sermons on the book of 2 Samuel. We focussed on David in this theocratic kingship. We looked at some highs of David s kingship, the beginning chapters. Yet this was followed by some very Page 12 of 13

lows in David s life. It showed the need for the king who was to come, our Lord Jesus Christ, David s great son. In Him the theocratic kingship came to full glory, a glory in which we may share today already, when we live our life in obedience to this King. May our gracious God help all of us to do so each day anew with great joy. Then life will flourish now and forever. Amen. Page 13 of 13