Biblical Manhood and Womanhood Lesson #2: Biblical Manhood and Womanhood in Marriage A Truth To Be Celebrated, Not Ignored Nor Apologized For REVIEW: KEY ISSUE #1: Men And Women Are Equal In Value And Dignity In The Image Of God. 1. It is important we start where God starts; not with our differences, but with our equality in the image of God. ( Gen 1.27) 2. Every time we look to our spouse we must realize that they are created by God and are more like Him than anything else on earth. a. Both men and women share in this status equally. b. Therefore we should treat men and women with equal dignity and should think of them as having equal value & equal importance. 3. Scripture immediately corrects the error of male superiority or domination. a. Wherever men are thought to be better than women, wherever husbands act as selfish dictators, wherever wives are forbidden to have their own jobs outside the home or to vote or to own property or to be educated, wherever women are treated as inferior, wherever there is abuse or violence against women or rape or female infanticide or polygamy or harems, the biblical truth of equality in the image of God is being denied. To all societies and cultures where these things occur, we must proclaim that the very beginning of God s Word bears a fundamental and irrefutable witness against these evils. (Biblical Foundations for Manhood and Womanhood, Wayne Grudem, Ed.) KEY ISSUE #2: KEY ISSUE #1: Men And Women Have Different Roles In Marriage As Part Of The Created Order (Gen 1-3). Men And Women Are Equal In Value And Dignity In The Image Of God. 4. It is important we start where God starts; not with our differences, but with our equality in the image of God. ( Gen 1.27) 5. Every time we look to our spouse we must realize that they are created by God and are more like Him than anything else on earth. a. Both men and women share in this status equally. b. Therefore we should treat men and women with equal dignity and should think of them as having equal value & equal importance. 6. Scripture immediately corrects the error of male superiority or domination. a. Wherever men are thought to be better than women, wherever husbands act as selfish dictators, wherever wives are forbidden to have their own jobs outside the home or to vote or to own property or to be educated, wherever women are treated as inferior, wherever there is abuse or violence against women or rape or female infanticide or polygamy or harems, the biblical truth of equality in the image of God is being denied. To all societies and cultures where these things occur, we must proclaim that the very beginning of God s Word bears a fundamental and irrefutable witness against these evils. (Biblical Foundations for Manhood and Womanhood, Wayne Grudem, Ed.) 1
KEY ISSUE #2: Men And Women Have Different Roles In Marriage As Part Of The Created Order (Gen 1-3). 1. Both Adam and Eve were created in God s image, equal before God as persons and distinct in their manhood and womanhood. 2. Distinctions in masculine and feminine roles are ordained by God as part of the created order, and should find an echo in every human heart. 3. Adam s headship in marriage was established by God before the Fall, and was not a result of sin. The statement adopted by the Southern Baptist Convention in June 1998 and affirmed (with one additional paragraph) by Campus Crusade in July 1999 also affirms God-given differences: The husband and wife are of equal worth before God, since both are created in God s image. The marriage relationship models the way God relates to his people. A husband is to love his wife as Christ loved the church. He has the God-given responsibility to provide for, to protect, and to lead his family. A wife is to submit herself graciously to the servant leadership of her husband even as the church willingly submits to the headship of Christ. She being in the image of God as is her husband and thus equal to him, has the God-given responsibility to respect her husband and serve as his helper in managing the household and nurturing the next generation. By contrast, egalitarians do not affirm such created differences. In fact, the Statement On Men, Women And Biblical Equality published by Christians for Biblical Equality (CBE) says: 2. The Bible teaches that woman and man were created for full and equal partnership. The word helper (ezer) used to designate woman in Genesis 2:18 refers to God in most instances of Old Testament usage (e.g. I Sam 7:12; Ps 121:1-2). Consequently the word conveys no implication whatsoever of female subordination or inferiority. 3. The Bible teaches that the forming of woman from man demonstrates the fundamental unity and equality of human beings (Gen 2:21-23). In Genesis 2:18, 20 the word suitable (kenegdo) denotes equality and adequacy. 5. The Bible teaches that the rulership of Adam over Eve resulted from the Fall and was therefore not a part of the original created order. Genesis 3:16 is a prediction of the effects of the Fall rather than a prescription of God s ideal order. KEY ISSUE #3: The Headship Of The Husband And The Glad Submission Of A Wife Is A Marriage Lived For The Surpassing Glory Of God. (Piper, Biblical Foundations for Manhood and Womanhood.) 1. Marriage exists to magnify the truth, worth and beauty and greatness of God; God does not exist to magnify marriage. a. Because God is ultimate and marriage is not. b. Because God is the most important Reality and marriage is far less. (Ps 145.3) c. One but need ask, why does anything exist? (Rom 11.36) 2
2. Marriage will be lived for God s glory when we have a growing passion for the supremacy and glory of God in each of our hearts. a. When we begin to think and live as if God s steadfast love is better than life itself, (Ps 63.3) we will begin to understand what it means to be satisfied in God. b. This kind of satisfaction in God is the source for patient endurance so we can love our wife like Christ and follow our husband like the church follows Christ. 3. There are two levels through which the Glory of God may shine forth in our marriage. a. On a structural level where each of us fulfills the role that God intends for us. i. Husbands as a loving servant-leader like Christ. ii. Wives as an advocate and follower of that leadership. iii. This is how the world will see Christ and His glory through us! iv. The power and impulse to press on through self-denial; to daily, weekly and monthly through the seasons of life, dying to self will be required in loving an imperfect wife and following an imperfect husband. v. This must come from a hope-giving, soul-sustaining, superior satisfaction in God. b. Secondly, When we can say with Paul, I count all things but loss for the excellency of the knowledge of Christ -- When we say that about our marriage and about our spouse, then our marriage will be lived to the glory of God. KEY ISSUE #4: Does Mutual Submission In Eph 5.21 Nullify Male Leadership In Marriage? 1. For 19 centuries, believers embraced, without any hint of confusion, the clear teaching of Scripture in Eph 5 as well as Gal 3.28 and I Pet 3.1 2. In the mid 20 th century, feminism began to take hold in evangelical circles and suddenly headship became an embarrassment. Egalitarians say: This verse (5.21) teaches that there is no unique kind of submission that a wife owes to her husband, nor is there a unique kind of leadership/headship that a husband owes his wife. 3. So what is wrong with this view? a. The context clearly pictures a specific kind of submission to authority. i. Wives to husbands, children to parents (6.1f) and slaves to masters (6.5-8) ii. Parents and children are not told to practice mutual submission nor are slaves. iii. In each case the person in authority is not told to be subject to the one under authority but is wisely regulated. iv. Thus we should all be subject to those whom God has placed in authority over us. b. Absence of any clear command for husbands to submit to wives. (Eph 5.24; Col 3.18; Titus 2.5; I Pet 3.1-6) c. The meaning of the word hypotasso. i. Always translated as submission to an authority. 1. Jesus was subject to the authority of his parents (Lk. 2.51) 2. Demons are subject to the discples (Lk 10.17) 3. Citizens are subject to government (Rom 13). 4. Angels and other spiritual beings are subject to Christ (1 Pet 3.22) 5. The universe is subject to Christ (I Cor 15.27) 6. Christ submits to the Father ( I Cor 15.28) ii. The word itself would have to be translated be thoughtful of, considerate of. 3
d. No mention of submitting to one another in I Pet 3.1; Col. 3.18: or Titus 2.5. i. That being the case, it would seem from an egalitarian perspective, that these letters would be teaching a wrong idea Did Paul & Peter mean to lead the church astray? ii. No! The meaning is clear, submission is undeniably a disposition of yielding to authority. KEY ISSUE #5: Does The Word Translated Head Really Mean Head In Eph. 5.23? Egalitarians state that The husband is the head of the wife does not indicate authority for the husband because head means source or something else, but not a person in authority. 1. To deny headship, one has to deny Lordship of Christ over His church. a. 5.23 is the ground or argument for 5.22 and the basis for it all rests on Christ s Lordship. 2. To deny headship, one has to ignore the overarching themes of Scripture beginning in Genesis 1 and repeated throughout the Bible. a. Paul repeatedly assumes headship and glad submission is the norm i. Every Christian marriage is to be a picture of Christ s union with the church (Eph 5, Col 3) ii. Every Christian church is to ordain qualified men who meet family leadership qualifications. I Tim 3 iii. Even in how Christians worship, Paul argues for a visible display of how sisters embrace male headship ( I Cor 11). 3. Commend The Biblical Foundations for Manhood and Womanhood, Wayne Grudem, ed., Pages 145-202. KEY ISSUE #6: The Biblical Model Of Self-Sacrificing Headship And Glad, Respectful Submission Gloriously Displays The Gospel Throughout Scripture. (Eph 5) 1. The model for how I should love my wife is the atonement. (5.25) a. What is the atonement and how does that show me how to love my wife? i. That matchless event whereby Christ purchased for himself his people, standing in their place, bearing in his body the fullness of God s wrath, taking upon Himself their condemnation so they might become the righteousness of God. b. Every time I read about or hear a message about the atonement I am being taught how to love my wife. i. Present myself to be a living sacrifice, crawling up on that altar day after day, year after year. ii. Marriage is the most comprehensive school of discipleship. c. The minute we start to apologize we lose a portion of the Gospel! 2. The model for my wife to follow is the church following Christ. a. Not to love as Christ loved, but to follow to submit, embrace and respect her husband as the church does so to Christ. b. There can be no expression of the reality of the Lordship of Christ in her life if she is not embracing the headship of her husband. c. It is Conformity to Christ, not Christ in conformity to the church. 4
3. Marriage is designed to point the world to Christ a. On any given day, are we reflecting the gospel as God intends for us as Husbands and Wives? b. Paul is not searching for an illustration to show marriage the Union between Christ and the Church is the prototype for which Adam and Eve are illustration! 4. The whole of the Gospel is Patriarchal God the Father giving Christ the Son a covenant inheritance. CONCLUSION 1. This is totally countercultural a. Only possible by the Gospel b. Not asking to go back to the 1950 s and Ozzie and Harriett c. We are asking men and women to go back to the Cross and Christ! 2. When men and women live and work together in complementarity in the home and church, there is nothing more beautiful, nothing more delightful, nothing more God-glorifying, nothing more satisfying. 3. It is a truth to be lived and celebrated, not a truth to be ignored and apologized for. RESOURCES: Council on Biblical Manhood & Womanhood, Web address: http://www.cbmw.org/ Piper, John, and Wayne A. Grudem. Recovering Biblical Manhood & Womanhood: a Response to Evangelical Feminism. Wheaton, IL: Crossway, 2006. Print. 5