The Most Important Family Mark 3: 31-35 Introduction: In 2007, the Barna Group asked more than one thousand people to choose their most important relationship. Seven out of ten adults choose their earthly family over God. In the course of that study the group also discovered these interesting facts. One out of three said their entire nuclear family is more important than God. Twenty-two percent named their spouse as the most important relationship in their lives. Seventeen percent placed their children in the top position. Three percent chose their parents. Only two percent named a specific friend as their most important relationship. Nineteen percent named God, Jesus Christ, the Trinity, or Allah as their top relationship. The most likely to make this designation were over forty in age. Who do you love most? At the end of Jesus second tour of Galilee, He had a very busy day. The day started with the healing of a demoniac who was blind and unable to speak (Mt. 12:22-23). This triggered the accusation that Christ cast out demons by the power of the devil (Mt. 12:23-30). After Jesus answered the allegation, His enemies demanded to see a sign from heaven (Luke 11:16). In a day filled with conflict, an odd little incident occurred. Read: Mark 3:31-35 As we read this section, many questions come to mind: What purpose did the gospel writers have in telling us this? ; Why didn t Jesus acknowledge His family especially His mother? What lesson or lessons does God intend for us to learn from this incident? These and other questions will be addressed in this lesson. Let us begin with Jesus two families. I. Jesus Physical Family. Most of us are aware that Jesus was born into a physical family. His legal father was Joseph and His mother was Mary. Mary was a virgin when Christ was born; but after His birth, Joseph and Mary lived together as man and wife. They had four sons, half brothers to Jesus: James and Joseph and Simon and Judas (Mk. 6:3). They also had at least two daughters (Mk. 6:3). Christ thus grew up in a household of at least nine people. From every indication, it was a happy home.
When Jesus left home to begin His public ministry, however, His family relationships changed. There may have been some jealousy and resentment on the part of His younger brothers. John reported that they were unwilling to accept Him as the Messiah and even spoke to Him on occasion with sarcasm (Jn. 7:3-5). Christ s mother, Mary, had a clearer idea of who He was (Lk. 2:19, 51), but even she didn t totally understand the mission (Jn. 2:3-4). This brings us to the episode of Mark 3. But let us begin with verses 20 and 21 in order to get some background. Read: Mark 3:20-21 Instead of His own people, the NIV has His family. The phrase to take custody indicates that they intended to take Jesus home with them whether he wanted to go or not. The fact that Jesus did not take time to eat was probably not the only reason His friends and family thought he had lost His senses. Let s explore some other possible reasons for His family might saying, He is out of his mind. 1) Jesus had thrown away security. What other sensible man would throw away a good job (carpenter) that was bringing in money to go and live as a vagrant who had no place to lay His head? 2) He was evidently not concerned about safety. What rational man would take on the whole Jewish establishment, a battle He was doomed to lose? 3) He was more and more isolating Himself from the mainstream of society. What reasonable man would hope to succeed with an odd assortment of uneducated men, most having hands with calluses and some having dubious reputations? We cannot be sure that Jesus own people in verse 21 are the same as His mother and His brothers in verse 31, but there is a natural progression: In verse 21 Christ s people decided that they needed to take Him into custody, so they went out (emphasis added) traveling to where He was. After some time elapsed, His mother and His brothers arrived at the place where He was (Mk. 3:31). It certainly appears that the people in verses 21 and 31 are the same. If there is a connection between verses 21 and 31, and if Mary and Jesus brothers had come to help Him in spite of Himself, the question arises: Why would Christ s mother go along with such a plan? After all, she had greater insight into who Jesus was than did His siblings. That is true, but keep in mind two facts:
1) Although she had some knowledge of whom Jesus was, her understanding was incomplete; and (2) she was still a mother with a mother s concern. What mother is not concerned when her boy doesn t eat properly? She probably was not one of those distressed about His sanity, but she could have been easily worried about His safety. Mary s nephew (John the Baptizer, son of Elizabeth) had already been arrested, and his death appeared imminent. What mother would not have been concerned? When it comes to Mary and Jesus brothers, even if their motives were misguided, they probably believed there intervention was for His own good. That brings us back to our text. (Read Mk. 3:31-32). According to Matthew, His mother and brothers were standing outside, seeking to speak to Him (Matt. 12:46). They probably tried to get Jesus attention, but either He did not hear them or ignored them. They sent word that they wanted to talk to Him. They may have whispered to someone at the edge of the crowd and then that person whispering to the one in front of him and so forth: Pass it on. Jesus mother and brothers are here! They want to see Him! At last, the message reached those on the front row, and several interrupted Christ: Behold, Your mother and Your brothers are outside looking for You (Mk. 3:32). Whether their motives were good, bad, or in-between, there was audaciousness in Jesus family s unwillingness to wait until he finished teaching. They were, in effect, saying, We are family. You should stop and see us now. What we want is more important than what You are doing! II.Jesus Spiritual Family The impertinent request put Christ in one of the most painful situations, one of the most delicate dilemmas of His earthly ministry. He would have been reluctant to rebuff His family, but He needed to convey to them and to the others present the nature and importance of His work. What did the Master Teacher do when faced with this situation? He turned the untimely interruption into a timely instruction. He asked, Who is my mother and who are My brothers? (Matt. 12:48). Then he answered,.whoever does the will of My Father who is in heaven, he is My brother and sister and mother (Mt. 12:50). Christ was not depreciating the family when He spoke those words. Some sects insist that their disciples break their ties with their natural families, but Jesus did not teach any such principle, nor did He even encourage it. Family was important to Him. He castigated the scribes and the Pharisees for failing to honor and care for their parents (Mt. 15:1-8). One of His last acts before He died was to make sure His mother was cared for. (Jn. 19:26-27)
At the same time, the Lord wanted to make clear that there is a relationship deeper, more precious, and more abiding than any earthly tie. According to the Ten Commandments, we are to honor our parents. But we are to worship only the Lord God. That s what we might call a top button truth. Sometimes I m in a hurry in the morning, and I button my shirt all wrong. Has this ever happened to you? Like everyone else I take it from the top. I push that button through the slot on the other side, except that, in my haste, I choose the wrong slot. I don t recognize my mistake until I get to the bottom and realize everything is out of line. If you get the top button right, then everything else tends to fall into place. If you get it wrong, then everything else is going to be out of alignment. You re going to look ridiculous. God has ordered our lives in such a way that devotion to Him is the top button. If that relationship is in proper order, then you re going to find that every other relationship, whether family or friend, is going to fall into place in a far more satisfying way. But if you re wrong on Him, you ll get everything else wrong too. Picture it this way: Your life is a bicycle wheel. Every spoke on the wheel represents different and specific relationships that make up your life. One spoke represents mom. One spoke represents dad. One spoke represents a sibling. One spoke represents your spouse. One spoke represents a child, and on it goes. Our tendency is to make God a spoke in the wheel, but God isn t interested in being another spoke in the wheel of your life. God is to be the center hub that all the spokes come from and connect to. As T.S. Eliot put it, he is the still point of the turning world. Our relationship to the Father is more basic to who we are and to why we have been created. We are intended to love our children, parents, siblings, and spouses wholeheartedly, but always in the context of our primary, foundational love for God. Worship is for God alone. He must be our deepest love actually the source of every other love. For only when we love God properly can we begin to have a proper love for others. To get this point across, Christ looked about at those who were sitting around Him, and said, Behold My mother and My brothers! (Mk. 3:34). According to Matthew s account he stretched out His hand toward His disciples as He said, Behold My mother and My brother whoever does the will of My Father in heaven, he is my brother and sister and mother (Mt. 12:49,50). Observe that Jesus did not include Father in that list, for that role is reserved for God alone. (Matt. 23:9). To use Luke s terminology, He emphasized that His family consists of those who hear the word of God and do it (Luke 8:21).
If we would be part of the family of the Lord, we must hear the Word of God and then we must do it. The only way we can know God s will is through Jesus. Therefore to hear and do God s will, we must hear and do what Christ taught. What is involved in doing? To do the Word is to believe all that it teaches, to obey all that it commands, and to hope for all that it promises. The Jews of Christ s day needed this lesson. They thought they would always be part of God s family by physical descent from Abraham. They needed to understand the fleshly kinship did not guarantee a place in God s household. Descent from Abraham wasn t as important as the decision to follow Jesus. What counted was not pedigree, but performance. If they desired a continuing relationship with the Father, they had to hear and do. We also need to hear this lesson. It is important to hear the Word. It is admirable to read the Bible daily and to attend every Bible class and worship service possible. A preacher is thrilled to see listeners open their Bibles and take notes as he is preaching. Nevertheless, as commendable as these activities are, they profit nothing if one simply hears the Word and then does nothing about what he hears. Jesus half-brother wrote, But prove yourselves doers of the word, and not merely hearers who delude themselves (Js. 1:22) We have seen that Jesus had two families the first physical, and the second, spiritual. He taught that one becomes part of the second through obedience to the Lord. He stressed that as important as the physical family is, the spiritual family is infinitely more important. III. Our Two Families I was blessed with two Christian parents, Arlo and Dorothy Grimm, and one sister Michelle, and one brother Paul. The Lord blessed my life by giving me a Christian wife, Karen, three wonderful children Gavin, Gordon, and Brooke, and three grandchildren, Aiken, Lilly, and Arlo. These and others in my family mean more than life to me. The family was God s first institution and is still the cornerstone of society. Unfortunately some today have not grasped how significant the family is. Some abandon their families, while others neglect them. Some parents do not care for their children, and some children do not care for their aged parents. Paul wrote that if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied his faith and is worse than an unbeliever (1 Tim. 5:8). Again, he said that children and grandchildren must first learn piety in regard to their own family (1 Tim. 5:4).
If we understand how important the physical family is, then this statement takes on an added meaning: There is a family far more important spiritual family, God s family. Paul wrote to the Christians at Ephesus, So then you are no longer strangers and aliens, but you are fellow citizens with the saints, and are of God s household (Eph. 2:19). The word household is another way of saying family. In Galatians 6:10 this family is called the household of the faith. What is the spiritual family? Paul said that it is the church. He told Timothy, I write so that you will know how one ought to conduct himself in the household of God, which is the church of the living God, the pillar and support of the truth (1 Tim. 3:15). In this family God is the Father and we are His children. Read: Romans 8:16-17 How do we become part of this family? In our texts Jesus says we become part of His family when we hear and do the Word. John wrote that we become God s children through a new birth (Jn. 3:3-5). Luke recorded that people became part of God s family, the church, when they believed in Christ, repented of their sins, and were baptized for the remission of their sins (Acts 2:36-38). This does not mean that there are three ways to become a Christian; rather Jesus, John, and Luke were referring to the same process. What is the process? To hear the word that produces faith. Then we must do that word by repenting of our sins, confessing faith in Jesus Christ, and being baptized. In this way we become members of God s family. I thank God for the physical family. I thank God more for His spiritual family, the church. I lack the words to say how wonderful it is to be in God s family. It would be an honor to be in a royal family in a country that had a king or queen. There would be innumerable in having a father who was a multimillionaire. None, of these, compare however, with being part of the Lord s family. The late C. R. Nichols was once told that he walked as if he owned the world. The venerable preacher replied, My father does! Since the spiritual family is so important, Jesus taught that our loyalty to this family is to transcend all other loyalties. In Luke 14:26, He spoke these startling words: Read: Luke 14:26
You may already realize that the word hate in Luke 14:26 does not mean what we usually mean by hate. Otherwise Jesus contradicted Himself. In the Sermon on the Mount, He taught people to love their enemies. Surely, he would not tell us to love our enemies and hate our own household. The word hate is sometimes used in the Bible to mean love less. Christ was saying in Luke 14:26 that we are to love our physical families less than we love Him and God. Our love for God and His family should be so great that, by comparison, our love for our physical families could be called hatred. This does not mean that we should neglect our physical families. Most of those who put the church or the kingdom of God first find that their physical families are enhanced. The writers of our text chose not to give us a sequel. Did Jesus mother and brothers stay around after he rebuked them? After teaching the multitude did He visit with His family? We are not told. One thing we can be sure of is that Jesus did not let them deter him from his mission. Ultimately, this story had a happy ending. Eventually His brothers came to believe in Him. One of his resurrection appearances was to his half-brother James. (1 Cor. 15:7). His mother and His brothers were with the apostles as they waited in Jerusalem for the coming of the Holy Spirit (Acts 1:14). James became one of the leaders in the church in Jerusalem and wrote the book of James. Another half-brother, Judas (Jude) wrote the book of Jude. The church historian Eusebius said that the other brothers also served as leaders in various churches. In other words, Jesus physical family finally became part of His spiritual family. You should be thankful if the other members of your physical family are all Christians. Unfortunately, the two families may not always blend. Sometimes serious conflict occurs. Jesus anticipated this. He said, Do not think that I came to bring peace on earth; I did not come to bring peace, but a sword. For I came to set a man against his father, and a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-inlaw against her mother-in-law; and a man s enemies will be the members of his household (Mt. 10:34-36). He told His disciples, But you will be betrayed even by parents and brothers and relatives and friends, and they will put some of you to death (Lk. 21:16). These two passages do not mean that Jesus desired discord in families. Rather, He knew that the nature of the gospel and the commitment it requires would not be understood by the worldly-minded, and that strife would be inevitable at times. Do not go out of your way to stir up trouble in your household or your circle of friends. Paul wrote, If possible so far as it depends on you, be at peace with all men (Rom. 12:18). If, in spite of your best efforts to get along with others, your family still abandons you, find peace in the knowledge that the Lord will not abandon you (Heb. 13:5) He has promised.
Read: Mk. 10:29-30 Jesus showed us what family was supposed to be. He helped us understand that all of the relationships inside the home are reflections of what he is to us. It s the love of Christ that teaches us how to love each other. The first commandment is to love the Lord our God and the second is to love one another. Who do you love? I invite you to take a moment to compare the sacrifices you are willing to make for your physical family with the sacrifices you have made to follow Jesus. Can you tell a story of how you personally sacrificed out of your commitment and devotion to Christ? God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son. You are asked to choose God, to make him the source of your worship, but know this: he has already chosen you. Submitted by: David Grimm, pulpit minister, West Tracy church of Christ, Excelsior Springs, Mo. 64024 Contact: dgrimm@harding.edu, (417-342-0278)