Overcoming Guilt ( Psalm 32:5 / Guilt ) Introduction: George s Story George enjoyed a great marriage, two beautiful children, and a fulfilling career BUT he was plagued with the gnawing and ever present feeling that something was wrong that he didn t deserve what he had. He couldn t put his finger on why, but a dark cloud inside prevented him from enjoying the sunshine of his circumstances. The simple fact of the matter was that he was depressed, but he didn t know why. George s problem eventually surfaced one day in a conversation with his best friend about their days as single adults. George told his friend that when he was nineteen he enjoyed a one night stand with a girl he picked up at a night club. He didn t think much of it until she called him several weeks later with the news that she was pregnant. The sound of her voice told him she was terrified, but at nineteen George didn t have the emotional maturity to cope with such news, so he told her to get an abortion and hung up. She called several more times, but each time George told her it wasn t his problem and hung up. Now, twenty years later, in a conversation with his best friend, George realized that he was filled with guilt over what he did, or in this case didn t do, and that this guilt was eating him up. The years that passed had resolved nothing. He knew he didn t do the right thing, he couldn t shake the feeling that he didn t deserve the good family he was not enjoying. Thankfully, months before, George had made a decision to follow Jesus Christ in his life. His newfound faith gave him the courage to face this terrible memory. The fellowship of his church helped him receive healing. And god showed him how to make amends. I. Two Kinds of Guilt: I was asked recently what a Christian does to overcome guilt. The short answer is to accept God s forgiveness and move on. But it s not always so simple. People are plagued by one of two kinds of guilt: First, some are overwhelmed by guilt because like George they ve done something truly terrible. Others, however, are plagued by an over-active conscience a conscience driven by unrealistic standards and expectations. Such people feel guilty about everything: a growing pile of dirty dishes in the sink, being Manuscript By Win Green 1
behind at work, having a nice home when people are starving in the streets, failing to stay in touch with old friends, not exercising enough Some rightly feel guilty for what they have done, and others feel guilty all the time about anything and everything. Here, let me reassure you that in both cases the mission of Jesus is the same liberation. His heart s desire is to free you from whatever guilt oppresses you. He doesn t seek to free you because it is the fair thing to do. The truth is we all deserve some of the guilt we feel. Healthy guilt comes when our conscience recognizes we ve violated a moral principle of God. Even so, Jesus is more concerned with freedom than fairness. His heart s desire is to free us from the sin that would cut us down, and the guilt that would keep us down. So, right off the bat let me assure you that overcoming guilt has nothing to do with fairness. As in all things with Christ, it has to do with His amazing grace. II. The Denial Of Guilt: In discussing guilt it must be said that there are some who do everything possible to deny their guilt. Often, these are the so called nice people. Nothing is ever their fault. They always manage to find something or someone else to blame beside themselves: their spouse, their work, their friends, poverty, politics, the economy, the system, or society in general. Guilt is never their responsibility; it s always someone or something else: bad neighbors, or bad genes passed down from bad grandparents are to blame. They are experts at the blame game. When all else fails they even go so far as to blame their unconscious the one part of themselves for which they cannot be held responsible. But all this faultfinding is really just the evidence for the denial of guilt, for faultfinding is usually done in proportion to the denial of sin. Unfortunately, the denial of guilt digs us deeper into despair, for unrepented sin begets more sins, and each sin makes the next sin easier, and before too long we say to ourselves, I am too far gone. There is no hope. When we reach this point we avoid the light of truth. Our attitude toward morality grows more and more belligerent. It s a vicious circle. The more we deny guilt, the deeper we sink into despair, and the more we need to escape from it though further sins. The denial of guilt makes us become like the man and woman caught in the web of an affair the only place they find relief is in one another s arms, even though they know their affair is destroying them. Manuscript By Win Green 2
But let s continue our discussion by looking at the approach two different men of Scripture used to handle their guilt: III. Peter & Judas Jesus worked daily with two different disciples more closely than the rest: Peter and Judas. Peter was the most vocal and impulsive leader of Jesus twelve followers. He was always out in front of the rest, quick to respond and eager to serve. Jesus included Peter in every aspect of His ministry. It was Peter who first confessed Jesus to be the Messiah Peter was the only disciple to walk on water with Jesus Peter who promised to follow Jesus all the way to death if necessary. Peter was the biggest, strongest, and certainly the loudest of the twelve. Judas, however, was a much quieter character. He served as Jesus money keeper in other words Judas was the treasurer, which meant Jesus was in daily conversation with him. As treasurer Judas was privy to every decision. As is often said today, if you want to know what is going on follow the money. Well, Judas job was to follow the money, so he knew exactly what was going on. Judas knew Jesus in a way no one else knew Him he knew Jesus by the way the Lord spent His money. Secular folks think this to be the most intimate knowledge of all to open one s check book to someone else s inspection. But this is how Judas knew Jesus. He wrote Jesus checks and kept track of His records. At the close of Jesus three year ministry Peter and Judas, different as they were from each other, failed Jesus in much the same way. Judas betrayed Him and Peter denied Him. After three years of living like brothers, Judas and Peter succumbed to the power of their dark sides, and the resulting guilt both felt was enough to shatter them forever. No longer could they look in a mirror and believe themselves to be decent men. Both had done the unthinkable they sold out their best friend to save their own necks, and their guilt was more than they could bear. And please don t reason Peter s guilt to be less than that of Judas. They essentially did the same thing both sold out their savior to save themselves. Their guilt mingled in the same cup of hypocrisy. To reason Peter s sin was less than Judas is like reasoning one man shooting his wife in cold blood to be worse than a man murdering his wife over the years with icy indifference. The end result is the same the woman is destroyed. Is this second man any less guilty than the first in the eyes of God? No. The Manuscript By Win Green 3
guilt that Peter and Judas shared would send each just as deep into the abyss.. But the guilt Peter and Judas shared had very different results. Judas guilt literally ate him alive. It swallowed him into the heart of darkness. He hung himself, and there he swings still from the pages of scripture: And throwing down the pieces of silver in the temple, Judas departed: and he went and hanged himself. (Matthew 27:5) Peter s fate, however, was much different. Peter s guilt struck him down to be sure. But something kept him from being swallowed by darkness. Instead of killing himself, Peter rose to become the greatest of Jesus followers. How was this possible? How did Peter go from the depths of guilt to the heights of holiness? Obviously it had to do with the way he responded. As I ve said, Peter and Judas are a study in contrasts. Judas kept his guilt all to himself and it ate him alive. After betraying Jesus he never returned to the fellowship of his brother disciples. Instead he tried to deal with it alone. In contrast, Peter didn t try coping with his guilt alone. After denying Jesus three times in His hour of need Peter returned to the fellowship of his brother disciples. I m sure he was tempted not to tell anyone, but is fellow disciples knew. They saw and heard what happened. Rather than hide from them, Peter did the most courageous thing of all. He shared his brokenness so that his fellow disciples might put him back together again. Clearly, guilt is not defeated by fighting it alone. We cannot reason guilt away inside our own heads, neither can we simply forget it its memory is too strong. We cannot buy it off with good deeds or with charitable gifts. We sinners cannot save ourselves; neither can we speak to ourselves the words of mercy that our hearts need to hear. We can never wash away our own guilt. We can only allow ourselves to be washed by others. There is a phrase from Alcoholics Anonymous that I have come to respect. Its this: You re only as sick as your secretes. It is instinctive for each of us to hide our guilt but it is a secrete that eats at us until there is nothing left. The moral of Judas life is clear; to deal with guilt alone is to hang. Most living things grow in the light, but guilt grows in the dark. The more we attempt to keep our guilt secrete, the more its cancer grows to infect the rest of our lives. Manuscript By Win Green 4
What got President Nixon chased out of office? Was it that he did something wrong, or that he tried to cover it up? What got president Clinton impeached? Was it that he had sexual relations with that woman, Miss Lewinsky, or that he tried to cover it up? Guilt is intensely personal. It lives in the secrets of our hearts. Salvation isn t at all personal! Salvation is always a shared experience, which is why sick people with secretes avoid it like the plague. Peter saved his life from the ravages of guilt by returning to his friends, sharing his guilt, and letting them minister to him in his hour of need. The scripture says: Confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, so that you will be healed. (James 5:16) I acknowledged my sin to you and you forgave the guilt of my sin. (Psalm 32:5) Here is today s lesson in a nut-shell: Salvation from guilt comes to the one who takes courage to confess it who exposes it to the light of truth and entrusts it to those who would offer the spirit of forgiveness. Salvation doesn t come on a therapist s couch, or in personal meditation, or in self help books. Forgiveness of sin is found only at the foot of the Cross. Only God has the power to forgive those who would crucify what is right and true. At the foot of the cross we see the worst of what humanity can do and the best of what God can do we see human rejection of what is good and God s embrace of those who are bad. It is at the Cross that we are forgiven. What s more, at the Cross we discover the fellowship of others who have confessed their sins. The best party I ve ever been to in my life was a party where everyone had confessed the same sins. It was a 1986-87 New Year s Eve party thrown by recovering alcoholics and drug addicts in the basement of a Lutheran church. The joy there was infectious. Everyone was just so grateful to be alive and sober on New Year s Eve. And because they didn t bear the burden of guilt they were all positively euphoric! There were no secretes, no dark lights, no lying or pretension, no alcohol educed emotions. Everyone there shared the same tragic past, and a same happy present the joy of being free. They danced. They sang. They hugged. They wept for joy at being free from the curse. Like I said, when you confess your sins you discover the fellowship of others who have confessed. IV. Manuscript By Win Green 5
FREE AT LAST! The Story of Zacchaeus So what kind of guilt do you carry? Have you done something terrible in your past which you ve done your best to forget? Let me caution, not dealing with it won t make it go away. Unresolved guilt becomes part of who you are the sense of wrongness is still there. The longer you repress it the deeper it digs into your unconsciousness. To push down your guilt for too long will leave you feeling depressed, sad, or angry and not knowing why. Or are you someone who feels guilty all the time about every little thing. Are you the victim of your own hyper sensitive conscience? Have you burdened yourself with standards and expectations that are totally unrealistic? Whatever guilt you carry, Christ s missions is the same. Liberation. He wants you to be free. Not because it s fair; but because it s the Father s joy to set you free! The Bible tells the story of a hated tax collector named Zacchaeus (Luke 19). Rich as he was, he wasn t happy. A dark cloud of depression blanketed his heart, and for good reason. He stole from everyone in town making himself rich off the backs of the poor. One day Jesus rode into town, and Zacchaeus, who was short, climbed a sycamore tree to see. Like everyone else, Zacchaeus heard the stories of how Jesus changed the lives of the people he touched, and he secretly wanted to change. The guilt he carried was more than he could bear. As Jesus passed by the tree where Zacchaeus perched himself, Jesus stopped and called Zacchaeus down. There were no words of condemnation. Instead, Jesus invited himself to Zacchaeus house for lunch. There, in the fellowship of the Lord, Zaccaeus confessed his sins, saying: if I have cheated anyone, I will pay back four times as much. (Luke 19: 8) Jesus response to Zacchaeus was to offer salvation immediately. Jesus said: Salvation has come to this house today (Luke 19:9) Notice, Zacchaeus guilt was a private affair, but his salvation was an event shared by Jesus and everyone else in town. V. Manuscript By Win Green 6
The Salvation of George: But let me end by returning to the story of George Like I said He was overwhelmed by the guilt of what he had done 20 years before. A young pregnant girl pleaded for his help, but he pushed her away like a discarded rag. Thankfully, George had recently dedicated his life to Christ. It was his new faith that gave him the courage to face up to and confess his guilt. He talked about it with the men of his Bible Study, and they assured him of God s forgiveness. Instead of pushing him away, they drew him closer to their fellowship. George couldn t believe his own heart. For the first time in twenty years he was free. His dark depression gave way to sunlight. In the weeks that followed George felt so grateful that he was inspired to make amends. He talked with the brothers of his Bible study wondering if he should try to find and contact the woman he had gotten pregnant twenty years before. Together they prayed at length, and concluded that contacting her might open up old wounds that she was not ready to re-visit. If she contacted George it would be different. In the mean time it was concluded George could express his gratitude by volunteering at the local teenage pregnancy center, which is just what George did. It turned out to be a wonderful experience. The center put him to work ministering to needs of terrified and reluctant teenage fathers. His words and actions weren t expressions of guilt, but of hope. He was a free man, who shared his freedom with others. And his joy grew and grew. As Jesus says, God thou and do likewise. Amen. Manuscript By Win Green 7