Study Guide February 3-March 17, 2013

Study Guide February 3-March 17, 2013

Table of Contents Pure Pleasure (Introduction)...4 A Study Through Song of Songs Love Celebrated (Lesson 1, February 3)...8 Song of Songs 1:1-8 Love Requited (Lesson 2, February 10)...10 Song of Songs 1:9-2:7 Love Pursued (Lesson 3, February 17)... 12 Song of Songs 2:8-3:5 Love Fulfilled (Lesson 4, February 24)... 14 Song of Songs 3:6-5:1 Love Interrupted (Lesson 5, March 3)... 16 Song of Songs 5:2-6:3 Love Aroused (Lesson 6, March 10)... 18 Song of Songs 6:4-8:4 Love Protected (Lesson 7, March 17)...22 Song of Songs 8:5-14

Pure Pleasure (Introduction) A Study Through Song of Songs Sexuality: Casual or Dirty? Sex permeates our culture. It shows up in advertising, on TV shows, in the lyrics of mainstream songs, on the internet, in locker room conversations, and in women s magazines. Our culture has become entirely casual about the subject of sex. It is no big deal to talk about it, and it is no big deal if everyone is experiencing it. Sex outside of marriage is no big deal, pornography is no big deal, and one-night stands are no big deal. Our bodies, our choices, our business. Sex is so casual in our culture that it is a topic of conversation just about everywhere. Except church. Far from being casual about sex, the subject is normally off-limits in Christian circles. This leads to perceptions, both inside and outside the church, that sex is dirty. It may be okay within marriage, but it certainly is not something to be celebrated. The subject is avoided whenever possible, and the only exceptions tend to be when we tell people not to do it. God s Sex Ethic The message of the Bible confronts both of these views of sex. On the one hand, sex is not to be treated casually. From beginning to end, the Bible teaches that sex is to be reserved for marriage between a man and a woman. The Old Testament continually upholds this ethic (Exodus 22:16-16, Leviticus 20:10-21), and the New Testament does so as well (Matthew 5:27-30, 1 Corinthians 6:18-20, 1 Corinthians 7:1-11, Galatians 5:19-21, Hebrews 13:4). God calls his people away from casual sex. We are meant to take sex seriously and reserve it for marriage. On the other hand, sex is not a dirty subject to be avoided. God presided over the very first wedding, telling the man and the women, Be fruitful and increase in number (Genesis 1:28), and when God first gave the woman to the man, the Bible proclaims, That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh (Genesis 2:24). On top of this, the Bible unblushingly talks about the pleasures of sex between a husband and a wife. This happens prominently in Proverbs 5:15-19, but the subject takes center stage in the book known as Song of Songs or Song of Solomon. The book of Song of Songs does not allow us to think that sex is dirty. The song is a celebration of sexual love between a man and a woman. The lyrics show the beauty of intimacy in the appropriate context. At the same time, the Song of Songs does not allow us to think that sex is casual. The passionate love portrayed in the song is powerful and intense. These are not two lovers who shrug their shoulders and say, Well, we might as well. They are passionately committed to one another, and to the protection of that committed bond of love. While the Song of Songs is not a handbook on sexuality, marriage, or commitment, it certainly reflects and celebrates the biblical teaching on these subjects. It is a beautiful and lyrical expression of the emotions and experiences that accompany committed love between a man and a woman. And as we read it, we are invited to embrace what it celebrates. Frequently Asked Questions The Song of Songs is a book of the Bible that has given Christians fits for centuries. Daniel Estes comments, Scholars vary widely on nearly every part of its interpretation.... Virtually every verse presents challenges in text, philology, image, grammar or structure. For this reason, many scholars, churches, and Christians have stayed away from the book. It has either been considered too confusing or too risqué for common consumption. Despite these difficulties, though, the book is written to be read, understood and embraced. In order to help, here are some answers to questions that may come up. 4

Who are the characters in this song? There are different opinions on this. Some believe that the characters are Solomon and one of his wives. After all, Solomon is mentioned in 1:1 when the song is entitled, Solomon s Song of Songs. Then Solomon is mentioned in 3:7-11 and 8:11. On top of this, the woman in the song refers to her lover as the king in 1:4 and 1:12. We don t know a lot about the woman in view in the song. She is called a Shulammite in 6:13 and she is portrayed as a common woman and not royalty (1:5-6). Throughout history, scholars have made suggestions for the identity of the woman. Some have said Tamar, Solomon s half-sister. More commonly, people have suggested Abishag, a Shunnamite who tended to David in his final days. In the end, though, many commentators do not identify the characters in the song with any specific persons. In other words, the song is not believed to be telling a historical story, but rather to be a love song with a male character and a female character. Instead of seeing the references to the king as an identification of Solomon, they are seen as a way that the woman reveres and honors her man. They imagine themselves as king and queen in their great kingdom of love. On top of this, there are good reasons to doubt that Solomon is in view. The male in the story is said to be a shepherd, and the woman looks for where he is tending his sheep (1:7-8). This seems like a strange practice for a king. It is probably better simply to see the two characters as the man and the woman. As you read, you will also see that there is another voice in the song. In 1:8, 5:1, 5:9, 6:1, 6:10, 6:13, 8:5, and 8:8-9 a third party speaks. Most refer to this as the voice of friends. You may want to think of this voice as the chorus (or choir). After all, this is a song. Occasionally the friends speak up to ask or answer a question. This serves to set up and main characters to express truths about the nature of their love. Who is the main character in the song? It could be easy to read the song and conclude that there are two main characters: the man and the woman. A closer look, though, suggests that the woman in the song truly owns the center stage. She speaks first, she speaks last, and she speaks most. While the man in the song has a prominent role, the majority of the song is from the feminine perspective. In fact, if you break down the song by speaker, the man speaks only about 35% of the time. The woman speaks about 55% percent of the time. The other 10% is spoken by the friends. While we should be slow to draw too many conclusions from these simple facts, this certainly is interesting. Far from being a repressed woman who begrudgingly receives the sexual advances of her beloved, she instead passionately expresses her longings for him. Despite the stereotypes, God did not create sex for men to enjoy and for women to endure. In this song both the man and the woman celebrate sexuality within marriage. In fact, in many respects, the woman leads the way in this respect throughout the song. Is the song about human love or God s love? Some people have been scandalized by the erotic nature of this song. Therefore they have concluded that it is too crude to be about human love, and is rather about God s love for his people. The question, then, is whether this book is meant to be read literally as a human love song or allegorically as a song of God s love. While there are good proponents of an allegorical reading of the song, this series will stick to the more straightforward reading that this is a love song between a man and a woman. This is the most simple reading of the song, and there should be no shame in Christians reading about God s gift of sex. After all, it is a gift from God and not a subject to be avoided. At the same time, all Scripture points to Jesus and the story of him giving his life in order to gather a people to himself (Luke 24:27, 44; John 5:39). So, in a certain sense, the Song of Songs ultimately points to God and his divine love. After all, love is from God and we only love because he first loved us (1 John 4:7-12). This doesn t mean that the song is not about a man and a woman. It is! But their love for one another is a picture of God s perfect love for us. Does the song tell a story in a certain order? If you approach the song as a story, you could end up confused. You may wonder at what points the couple is married and at what points they are unmarried, because there is a wedding scene in the middle of the song (3:6-11). Because the song does not seem to be strictly chronological, some people have concluded that it is simply a disorganized compilation of erotic poetry. While the song is not strictly a story told in chronological order, there still is order in the song. Many commentators believe that it is best to read the song as a collection of scenes, rather than one linear narrative. More specifically, many see six scenes in the song: 1:1-2:7, 2:8-3:5, 3:6-5:1, 5:2-6:3, 6:4-8:4, and 8:5-14. This series will follow this structure. The only exception is that 1:1-2:7 has been split into two parts (1:1-8 and 1:9-2:7) in order to take some time at the outset to establish the themes of the song. 5

Pure Pleasure (Introduction continued) A Study Through Song of Songs What is with all the imagery in the song? The man compares the woman s neck to the tower of David. The woman compares the man s appearance to Lebanon, choice as its cedars. The song is full of imagery that would have been meaningful to the original hearers but seems confusing to us. Sometimes we can discern the meaning from the context. Other times, however, we need outside resources to help us. There are many great commentaries on this book. Here are a few that you will see quoted throughout the lessons: Richard S. Hess: Song of Songs: Bakers Commentary on the Old Testament Wisdom and Psalms Tremper Longman III: Song of Songs: The New International Commentary on the Old Testament Tom Gledhill: The Message of the Song of Songs Douglas Sean O Donnell: The Song of Solomon: An Invitation to Intimacy Will reading this song lead Christians to fantasize in unhealthy ways? Sadly, it is true that good gifts from God can be perverted and abused. While sex is a wonderful gift from God, it has been sinfully misused in all kinds of ways. Because we are all broken and sinful, it is true that we can read the Song of Songs and use its imagery to feed lustful fantasies. Does this mean that we should be careful and prayerful as we read? Certainly. Does this mean that we should avoid this book? Certainly not. God has given us the gift of sex and he has given us the gift of this book of the Bible. Let us prayerfully approach this God-inspired book and mine the treasures that God has placed in it. Dive In The Song of Songs is a rich, powerful, and much-needed book for Jesus church today. It has a message for those who are married and longing for greater intimacy. It has a message for engaged and dating couples who are looking for God s message for them. It has a message for singles young and old who are striving to understand God, themselves, and sexuality. This book speaks God s life-giving message to a people who are confused, addicted, deceived, and desperate. Dive in and open yourself up to God s Word through this study. 6

7

Love Celebrated (Lesson 1, February 3) Song of Songs 1:1-8 1 Solomon s Song of Songs. 2 Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth for your love is more delightful than wine. 3 Pleasing is the fragrance of your perfume; your name is like perfume poured out. No wonder the young women love you! 4 Take me away with you let us hurry! Let the king bring me into his chambers. FRIENDS We rejoice and delight in you; we will praise your love more than wine. How right they are to adore you! 5 Dark am I, yet lovely, daughters of Jerusalem, dark like the tents of Kedar, like the tent curtains of Solomon. 6 Do not stare at me because I am dark, because I am darkened by the sun. My mother s sons were angry with me and made me take care of the vineyards; my own vineyard I had to neglect. 7 Tell me, you whom I love, where you graze your flock and where you rest your sheep at midday. Why should I be like a veiled woman beside the flocks of your friends? FRIENDS 8 If you do not know most beautiful of women, follow the tracks of the sheep and graze your young goats by the tents of the shepherds. Main Point Sexual love is not meant to be casual, nor is it meant to be shunned. It is meant to be celebrated and welcomed in its proper context. Getting Started 1. What are some ways that our culture promotes a casual attitude toward sex? 2. What are some ways that people who are morally conservative can promote the attitude that sex, at its core, is something dirty? 3. Explain how you have been impacted by either (or both) of these attitudes that tend to show up in our culture. Digging In Read Song of Songs 1:1-8. 4. Verses 2-4 are spoken by the woman in the song. What do you take from the fact that the woman in this song is so vocal and assertive about her longing for her beloved? 5. Focus on some of the imagery in verses 2-4 and write down what you take from each image: Your love is more delightful than wine. 8

Your name is like perfume poured out. 11. Do any of the words spoken in this opening passage reflect an attitude that sex should be casual? Do any of them reflect an attitude that sex is dirty? Let the king bring me into his chambers. In the middle of verse 4 we have the first of many appearances by the couple s friends. They serve as a chorus while the man and woman express their love for one another. 6. What significance do you draw from the fact that the couple s friends are excited to celebrate their union of love? What role should our community play in affirming the union of a couple? Taking it to Heart 12. If you are married, how can your relationship with your spouse reflect the way that this passage celebrates romantic love and sexual union within marriage? 13. If you are single, how can you approach relationships in a way that does not treat sex casually? In verses 5-6, the woman talks about her physical appearance, and how it is not all that she would want it to be. Ironically enough, she doesn t want to be dark (tan). In her culture, beauty was defined by having fair skin, while in our culture it is defined by being tan. 7. What are some ways that insecurities about physical appearance can impact our lives? 14. Take a moment to consider how the woman in this passage longs for union with her beloved. How does this longing practically apply to your own longing for closeness with Christ? 8. What image does the woman use in verse 6 to describe her body? 9. In verse 7, what desire does the woman express? 10. In verse 8, what advice do the friends give to the woman? Notes 9

Love Requited (Lesson 2, February 10) Song of Songs 1:9-2:7 HE 1:9 I liken you, my darling, to a mare among Pharaoh s chariot horses. 10 Your cheeks are beautiful with earrings, your neck with strings of jewels. 11 We will make you earrings of gold, studded with silver. 12 While the king was at his table, my perfume spread its fragrance. 13 My beloved is to me a sachet of myrrh resting between my breasts. 14 My beloved is to me a cluster of henna blossoms from the vineyards of Ed Gedi. HE 15 How beautiful you are, my darling! Oh, how beautiful! Your eyes are doves. 16 How handsome you are, my beloved! Oh, how charming! And our bed is verdant. HE 17 The beams of our house are cedars; our rafters are firs. 2:1 I am a rose of Sharon, a lily of the valleys. HE 2 Like a lily among thorns is my darling among the young women. 3 Like an apple tree among the trees of the forest is my beloved among the young men. I delight to sit in his shade, and his fruit is sweet to my taste. 4 Let him lead me to the banquet hall, and let his banner over me be love. 5 Strengthen me with raisins, refresh me with apples, for I am faint with love. 6 His left arm is under my head, and his right arm embraces me. 7 Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you by the gazelles and by the does of the field: Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires. Main Point We were made to love and to be loved. Getting Started 1. What is the greatest compliment that anyone has ever given you? 2. Why is it risky to express love to another person? Digging In Read Song of Songs 1:9-2:7. 3. Summarize the compliments that the man gives his beloved in 1:9-11 and 15. The lover s praise of his girl in verses 9-11, and his determination to embellish her further, has the natural effect on her: she finds her lover irresistible, and she soliloquizes and dreams to herself; her perfumes give off their fragrance. -- Tom Gledhill, The Message of the Song of Songs 4. Summarize the compliments that the woman gives her beloved in 1:12-14 and 16. 5. What do you make from the imagery in 1:17? 10

6. What is the significance of the image of the rose in 2:1-2? 7. Back in 1:5-6, the woman seemed insecure about her physical appearance. However, in 2:1 she calls herself a rose. What do you make of this shift? Taking it to Heart 12. What are some practical and appropriate ways that you can express love and affection in life-giving ways? 13. What are some practical ways that you can heed the warning not to arouse or awaken love apart from appropriate contexts? 8. Look at the images of the tree and the banquet hall in 2:3-4. What theme ties together these two images? 9. As you read 2:5-6, what do you conclude about how the presence of her beloved impacts her? 14. In life, people don t always requite the love we give, and this can make us hesitant to get close to others. Read 1 John 4:7-12. How can you be sure that God will always requite your love? 10. Verse 7 is the first warning not to arouse or awaken love until it so desires. Read the following quote and then comment on the significance of this verse. Love is such a powerful emotion and carries such enormous power that it must not be misused. The appreciation of love as a gift from God is the traditional theological understanding of this book. This verse captures the counterbalance. The full appreciation of the joys of physical love can happen only when love comes at the appropriate time with the partner that love chooses. For the Christian, here are the beginnings of a powerful message of physical love as God s gift according to his will and timing. It is not a decision reached by the daughters of Jerusalem (any more than by the sons) but one that must be received when and in the manner that God has decided. -- Richard S. Hess, Song of Songs: Baker Commentary on the Old Testament Wisdom and Psalms Wrestling With Issues 11. Throughout this passage (and this book) the lovers praise one another for their looks. If inner beauty is more important than outer beauty, what is the role of praising and celebrating physical beauty? Notes 11

Love Pursued (Lesson 3, February 17) Song of Songs 2:8-3:5 2:8 Listen! My beloved! Look! Here he comes, leaping across the mountains, bounding over the hills. 9 My beloved is like a gazelle or a young stag. Look! There he stands behind our wall, gazing through the windows, peering through the lattice. 10 My beloved spoke and said to me, Arise, my darling, my beautiful one, come with me. 11 See! The winter is past; the rains are over and gone. 12 Flowers appear on the earth; the season of singing has come, the cooing of doves is heard in our land. 13 The fig tree forms its early fruit; the blossoming vines spread their fragrance. Arise, come, my darling; my beautiful one, come with me. HE 14 My dove in the clefts of the rock, in the hiding places on the mountainside, show me your face, let me hear your voice; for your voice is sweet, and your face is lovely. 15 Catch for us the foxes, the little foxes that ruin the vineyards, our vineyards that are in bloom. 16 My beloved is mine and I am his; he browses among the lilies. 17 Until the day breaks and the shadows flee, turn, my beloved, and be like a gazelle or like a young stag on the rugged hills. 2 I will get up now and go about the city, through its streets and squares; I will search for the one my heart loves. So I looked for him but did not find him. 3 The watchmen found me as they made their rounds in the city. Have you seen the one my heart loves? 4 Scarcely had I passed them when I found the one my heart loves. I held him and would not let him go till I had brought him to my mother s house, to the room of the one who conceived me. 5 Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you by the gazelles and by the does of the field: Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires. Main Point In marriage, lovers should pursue one another. Getting Started 1. What are some ways that men and women pursue one another while in the dating process? 2. Why do you think married couples sometimes stop pursuing one another? Digging In Read Song of Songs 2:8-3:5. 3. In 2:8-13, the woman describes how her beloved has pursued her. What strikes you about this section? 3:1 All night long on my bed I looked for the one my heart loves; I looked for him but did not find him. 12

Verses 11-13 list a number of phenomena associated with spring. Poetically, it thus evokes a scene of newness, vigor, freshness, joy, expectation a context for joyous lovemaking. -- Tremper Longman, Song of Songs: The New International Commentary on the Old Testament 4. In 2:11-13, how does the changing of seasons relate to the blossoming of love? Taking it to Heart 11. What are some practical ways that married couples can pursue greater intimacy with one another? 12. What would it look like for a couple to appropriate pursue one another before marriage? 5. Give some examples of little foxes that ruin the vineyards. 13. God did not wait for us to love him. He pursued us with his love, even when we were his enemies. What impact has God s pursuit of you had on your life? 6. As you read 2:16-17, how does the woman respond to the pursuit from her beloved? 7. Many commentators think that 3:1-5 is a dream sequence. The woman dreams about not being able to find her beloved. What themes and values are conveyed by this sequence? Here the female seeks to move her lover from the house in general to the inner chamber of conception, the place of lovemaking. -- Richard Hess, Song of Songs: Baker Commentary on the Old Testament Wisdom and Psalms 8. What is the significance of her bringing him into her mother s house? 9. In 3:5, the woman restates the refrain from 2:7. What is the significance of this statement coming after the intense dream sequence? Wrestling With Issues 10. The Song of Songs is full of passion. Are we at the mercy of where our passions lead us, or are we able to harness and direct our passions? Explain your answer. Notes 13

Love Fulfilled (Lesson 4, February 24) Song of Songs 3:6-5:1 3:6 Who is this coming up from the wilderness like a column of smoke, perfumed with myrrh and incense made from all the spices of the merchant? 7 Look! It is Solomon s carriage, escorted by sixty warriors, the noblest of Israel, 8 all of them wearing the sword, all experienced in battle, each with his sword at his side, prepared for the terrors of the night. 9 King Solomon made for himself the carriage; he made it of wood from Lebanon. 10 Its posts he made of silver, its base of gold. Its seat was upholstered with purple, its interior inlaid with love. Daughters of Jerusalem, 11 come out, and look, you daughters of Zion. Look on King Solomon wearing a crown, the crown with which his mother crowned him on the day of his wedding, the day his heart rejoiced. HE 4:1 How beautiful you are, my darling! Oh, how beautiful! Your eyes behind your veil are doves. Your hair is like a flock of goats descending from the hills of Gilead. 2 Your teeth are like a flock of sheep just shorn, coming up from the washing. Each has its twin; not one of them is alone. 3 Your lips are like a scarlet ribbon; your mouth is lovely. Your temples behind your veil are like the halves of a pomegranate. 4 Your neck is like the tower of David, built with courses of stone; on it hang a thousand shields, all of them shields of warriors. 5 Your breasts are like two fawns, like twin fawns of a gazelle that browse among the lilies. 6 Until the day breaks and the shadows flee, 14 I will go to the mountain of myrrh and to the hill of incense. 7 You are altogether beautiful, my darling; there is no flaw in you. 8 Come with me from Lebanon, my bride, come with me from Lebanon. Descend from the crest of Amana, from the top of Senir, the summit of Hermon, from the lions dens and the mountain haunts of leopards. 9 You have stolen my heart, my sister, my bride; you have stolen my heart with one glance of your eyes, with one jewel of your necklace. 10 How delightful is your love, my sister, my bride! How much more pleasing is your love than wine, and the fragrance of your perfume more than any spice! 11 Your lips drop sweetness as the honeycomb, my bride; milk and honey are under your tongue. The fragrance of your garments is like the fragrance of Lebanon. 12 You are a garden locked up, my sister, my bride; you are a spring enclosed, a sealed fountain. 13 Your plants are an orchard of pomegranates with choice fruits, with henna and nard, 14 nard and saffron, calamus and cinnamon, with every kind of incense tree, with myrrh and aloes and all the finest spices. 15 You are a garden fountain, a well of flowing water streaming down from Lebanon. 16 Awake, north wind, and come, south wind! Blow on my garden, that its fragrance may spread everywhere. Let my beloved come into his garden and taste its choice fruits. HE 5:1 I have come into my garden, my sister, my bride; I have gathered my myrrh with my spice. I have eaten my honeycomb and my honey; I have drunk my wine and my milk.

FRIENDS Eat, friends, and drink; drink your fill of love. 8. Describe the flow of 4:12-5:1, especially with the image of the garden? Main Point In marriage, we find the proper celebration of sexual intimacy. 9. In 4:16, what significant command does the woman give? For help, look back at 2:7 and 3:5. Getting Started 1. What are some reasons why there tends to be so much anticipation surrounding a wedding? 10. What significance do you draw from the friends affirming the lovers in 5:1? Digging In Read Song of Songs 3:6-5:1. 2. In 3:6-11 we see a wedding sequence. What do you take from the presence of such an elaborate wedding scene in this song? 3. What significance is there to the fact that the wedding in 3:6-11 is followed by a very intimate scene between and man and the woman? Wrestling With Issues So we know this is a wedding song from the cultural context (i.e., in Israel only sex within marriage was celebrated), but also from the language of the Song itself. After the word wedding is used in 3:11 (as the wedding day of Solomon is used as a foil), the word bride is used of the young woman six times in the next seventeen verses, in chapters 4 and 5. This is the heart of the Song, the section the undoubtedly describes sexual relations. -- Douglad, Sean O Donnell, The Song of Solomon: An Invitation to Intimacy 11. In 4:16-5:1 we see the beautiful consummation of love with this couple. How is this beautiful consummation compromised when couples engage in sex outside of marriage? 4. In 4:1-7 the man praises the beauty of the woman. What practical implications do you draw from the creativity with which the man describes his beloved s beauty? 5. In 4:7 the man says that there is no flaw in his beloved. Is this mere sentiment? What significance do you see in this statement? Taking it to Heart 12. This passage powerfully celebrates sexual intimacy within marriage. What are practical ways that you can urge others to embrace God s plan for sex? 6. What term does the man use of the woman in 4:8, 9, 10, 11 and 12? 13. How can you embrace God s gift of sex within marriage and reject the lies of the enemy that invite people to engage in casual sex outside of marriage? 7. What is the significance of the man calling his bride his sister? 14. How does the pure intimacy God desires between a husband and wife reflect the purity that he desires in his relationship with his people? Read 2 Corinthians 11:2-3 and Ephesians 5:25-27 for more on this connection. 15

Love Interrupted (Lesson 5, March 3) Song of Songs 5:2-6:3 5:2 I slept but my heart was awake. Listen! My beloved is knocking: Open to me, my sister, my darling, my dove, my flawless one. My head is drenched with dew, my hair with the dampness of the night. 3 I have taken off my robe must I put it on again? I have washed my feet must I soil them again? 4 My beloved thrust his hand through the latch-opening; my heart began to pound for him. 5 I arose to open for my beloved, and my hands dripped with myrrh, my fingers with flowing myrrh, on the handles of the bolt. 6 I opened for my beloved, but my beloved had left; he was gone. My heart sank at his departure. I looked for him but did not find him. I called him but he did not answer. 7 The watchmen found me as they made their rounds in the city. They beat me, they bruised me; they took away my cloak, those watchmen of the walls! 8 Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you if you find my beloved, what will you tell him? Tell him I am faint with love. FRIENDS 9 How is your beloved better than others, most beautiful of women? How is your beloved better than others, that you so charge us? 10 My beloved is radiant and ruddy, outstanding among ten thousand. 11 His head is purest gold; his hair is wavy and black as a raven. 12 His eyes are like doves by the water streams, washed in milk, mounted like jewels. 16 13 His cheeks are like beds of spice yielding perfume. His lips are like lilies dripping with myrrh. 14 His arms are rods of gold set with topaz. His body is like polished ivory decorated with lapis lazuli. 15 His legs are pillars of marble set on bases of pure gold. His appearance is like Lebanon, choice as its cedars. 16 His mouth is sweetness itself; he is altogether lovely. This is my beloved, this is my friend, daughters of Jerusalem. FRIENDS 6:1 Where has your beloved gone, most beautiful of women? Which way did your beloved turn, that we may look for him with you? 2 My beloved has gone down to his garden, to the beds of spices, to browse in the gardens and to gather lilies. 3 I am my beloved s and my beloved is mine; he browses among the lilies. Main Point When spouses wrong one another and experience distance, God calls us to reconciliation. Getting Started 1. What are some ways that selfishness manifests itself in marriage? 2. What have been the most frequent causes of conflict in your relationships?

Digging In Read Song of Songs 5:2-6:3. The actions of the characters in the poem seem odd if judged by standards of everyday life. The man comes to the door, but she demurs at first. By the time she changes her mind and opens the door, he is gone. She sets out in hot pursuit, searching for him in public places. She does not find him and instead gets beaten by the city patrol. In real life, such abuse is traumatizing, but the next verse finds her unfazed and enlisting the aid of the chorus in her search. The point is that this poem, like all the other poems in the Song, are not focused on a real-life occurrence. They are creating moods and sensations. We can debate whether the poem intends for us to understand this as the woman s dream or not, but we cannot insist that these are real experiences. They are dream-like and poetic. -- Tremper Longman, Song of Songs: The New International Commentary on the Old Testament 3. In 5:3 the man asked his beloved to open the door and let him in. What is her response in 5:3? The two are joined, and the lover is fully engaged with his beloved. Hence there is no need for the other women to seek out the male. The female knows where he is. Further, he has no interest in any of the other women, only in her. The verse concludes with the metaphor of gathering lotuses, suggesting that beautiful, delicate, and intoxicating effects of physical love. -- Richard Hess, Song of Songs: Baker Commentary on the Old Testament Wisdom and Psalms Wrestling With Issues 10. Why do you think we often cause the greatest pain to those we love the most? Taking it to Heart 11. What are ways that you selfishly create conflict with those closest to you? 4. In 5:4-6, the woman finally decides to open the door for her beloved. When she does so, what does she find? 12. How can you pursue reconciliation when you wrong someone (especially your spouse)? 5. In 5:7-8, what action does the woman take? 6. In 5:9 the friends give the woman a chance to praise her beloved. She does so in 5:10-16. Write down the ways that she praises her beloved in this passage. 13. Second Corinthians 5:18-21 says that God has pursued reconciliation with us, even though we are the ones who have wronged him. How does this reality impact your relationship with God and your ability to trust him? 7. Why do you think this section of the woman praising her beloved (5:10-16) appears in the context of her having wronged him and sent him away? 8. In 5:16, what additional title does the woman give to her beloved? What do you think is the significance of this title? 9. Read the following quote on 6:2-3 and summarize how this marital conflict has ended. Notes 17

Love Aroused (Lesson 6, March 10) Song of Songs 6:4-8:4 HE 4 You are as beautiful as Tirzah, my darling, as lovely as Jerusalem, as majestic as troops with banners. 5 Turn your eyes from me; they overwhelm me. Your hair is like a flock of goats descending from Gilead. 6 Your teeth are like a flock of sheep coming up from the washing. Each has its twin, not one of them is missing. 7 Your temples behind your veil are like the halves of a pomegranate. 8 Sixty queens there may be, and eighty concubines, and virgins beyond number; 9 but my dove, my perfect one, is unique, the only daughter of her mother, the favorite of the one who bore her. The young women saw her and called her blessed; the queens and concubines praised her. FRIENDS 10 Who is this that appears like the dawn, fair as the moon, bright as the sun, majestic as the stars in procession? HE 11 I went down to the grove of nut trees to look at the new growth in the valley, to see if the vines had budded or the pomegranates were in bloom. 12 Before I realized it, my desire set me among the royal chariots of my people. FRIENDS 13 Come back, come back, O Shulammite; come back, come back, that we may gaze on you! HE Why would you gaze on the Shulammite as on the dance of Mahanaim? 7:1 How beautiful your sandaled feet, O prince s daughter! Your graceful legs are like jewels, the work of an artist s hands. 2 Your navel is a rounded goblet that never lacks blended wine. Your waist is a mound of wheat encircled by lilies. 3 Your breasts are like two fawns, like twin fawns of a gazelle. 4 Your neck is like an ivory tower. Your eyes are the pools of Heshbon by the gate of Bath Rabbim. Your nose is like the tower of Lebanon looking toward Damascus. 5 Your head crowns you like Mount Carmel. Your hair is like royal tapestry; the king is held captive by its tresses. 6 How beautiful you are and how pleasing, my love, with your delights! 7 Your stature is like that of the palm, and your breasts like clusters of fruit. 8 I said, I will climb the palm tree; I will take hold of its fruit. May your breasts be like clusters of grapes on the vine, the fragrance of your breath like apples, 9 and your mouth like the best wine. May the wine go straight to my beloved, flowing gently over lips and teeth. 10 I belong to my beloved, and his desire is for me. 11 Come, my beloved, let us go to the countryside, let us spend the night in the villages. 18

12 Let us go early to the vineyards to see if the vines have budded, if their blossoms have opened, and if the pomegranates are in bloom there I will give you my love. 13 The mandrakes send out their fragrance, and at our door is every delicacy, both new and old, that I have stored up for you, my beloved. 8:1 If only you were to me like a brother, who was nursed at my mother s breasts! Then, if I found you outside, I would kiss you, and no one would despise me. 2 I would lead you and bring you to my mother s house she who has taught me. I would give you spiced wine to drink, the nectar of my pomegranates. 3 His left arm is under my head and his right arm embraces me. 4 Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you: Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires. Main Point In marriage, lovers are invited to arouse sexual love in one another. 4. Read the following quote on 6:12, which is one of the most difficult verses in the Song of Songs. After reading it, and the verses themselves, summarize what you think is going on in these verses. The passion of desire translates into the excitement of the most adventurous and dangerous experiences known to the author. Such chariotry traditionally made up the elite of the army, those who could afford to maintain the required horses and all the trappings for the vehicle. It also represented one of the most fearful weapons appearing on the battlefield. In fact, since a chariot served as a mobile firing platform for the archer, there normally were two or three individuals on a chariot, including at least a driver and a master of a weaponry. Thus the female lover s sense of a place on board this instrument of terror is part of a fantasy of danger and excitement, which provides the climax of this experience. Away from the peaceful gardens, the chariotry of the nobles, whether in war or in procession, heightens the drama and fuels the passion of the lover. -- Richard Hess, Song of Songs: Baker Commentary on the Old Testament Wisdom and Psalms 5. Read the man s description of his beloved in 7:1-9. He compares her beauty to all kinds of beautiful things, but he never compares her beauty to that of other women. What do you take from this pattern? Getting Started 1. Why do you think passion between husbands and wives so often fades over time? 6. In 7:9-13, how does the woman respond to the praise she received from her beloved? 2. When passion fades between husbands and wives, what solutions does our culture offer? 7. Read the quote above and summarize the sentiment that the woman gives in 8:1. Digging In Read Song of Songs 6:4-8:4. 3. In 6:4-9, the man praises his beloved for, among other things, her uniqueness. How can couples celebrate each other s unique qualities? 8. In 8:2, the woman again speaks of taking her beloved into her mother s house (3:4). Then in 8:3 she repeats a desire she expressed in 2:6. How is the desire she expresses in these verses different than our culture s casual attitude toward sex? 9. In 8:4 the woman repeats, for the third time, the charge not to awaken love until it so desires. Why do you think this charge comes after such an intense and erotic section? 19

Love Aroused (Lesson 6 cont d., March 10) Song of Songs 6:4-8:4 Wrestling With Issues 10. This passage is speaks about sexuality in a very positive and overt manner. And it is included in Scripture! What implications do you think this has for how Christians should talk about sexuality with one another and with their children? Notes 11. What happens in marriages when, instead of celebrating our spouse s uniqueness, we compare them to others? Taking it to Heart 12. How can you actively keep yourself from comparing your spouse to others? 13. If you are married, how can you cultivate intimacy with your spouse? If you are single, how can you actively save yourself for a potential future spouse? 14. God compares his relationship with his people to the relationship between a groom and a bride. What does this tell you about the kind of closeness God desires with his people? 20

21

Love Protected (Lesson 7, March 17) Song of Songs 8:5-14 FRIENDS 5 Who is this coming up from the wilderness leaning on her beloved? Under the apple tree I roused you; there your mother conceived you, there she who was in labor gave you birth. 6 Place me like a seal over your heart, like a seal on your arm; for love is as strong as death, its jealousy unyielding as the grave. It burns like blazing fire, like a mighty flame. 7 Many waters cannot quench love; rivers cannot sweep it away. If one were to give all the wealth of one s house for love, it would be utterly scorned. FRIENDS 8 We have a little sister, and her breasts are not yet grown. What shall we do for our sister on the day she is spoken for? 9 If she is a wall, we will build towers of silver on her. If she is a door, we will enclose her with panels of cedar. 10 I am a wall, and my breasts are like towers. Thus I have become in his eyes like one bringing contentment. 11 Solomon had a vineyard in Baal Hamon; he let out his vineyard to tenants. Each was to bring for its fruit a thousand shekels of silver. 12 But my own vineyard is mine to give; the thousand shekels are for you, Solomon, and two hundred are for those who tend its fruit. HE 13 You who dwell in the gardens with friends in attendance, let me hear your voice! 14 Come away, my beloved, and be like a gazelle or like a young stag on the spice-laden mountains. Main Point Believers are called to jealously protect the purity of sexuality in marriage. Getting Started 1. Name some things that people protect. 2. If you go to a great effort to protect something, what does this say about the value you place on it? Digging In Read Song of Songs 8:5-14. 3. How does the woman s statement in 8:5 relate to the refrain in 8:4? 4. What is at the heart of the woman s request at the beginning of 8:6? 5. Summarize the woman s description of love in 8:6-7. 22

6. In 8:8-9, the friends speak of how they will protect their sister. Read the quote below and summarize the meaning of 8:9. Being a wall means staying a virgin. The imagery is obvious. To be a wall is to not let anyone in or through, to be impenetrable and impregnable (literally!). To be a door, however, means to be easy to open or get through (or into). It symbolized the loss of virginity, and perhaps promiscuity or even the potential of promiscuity. So the deal is this: if the older siblings see their little sister acting in any way like a swinging door demonstrating any weakness of mind or body they will board her up before it s too late ( enclose her with boards of cedar. ) They will make her a cedar chastity belt. But if she has kept herself pure under their protective watch, they will build on her a battlement of silver ; that is, they will reward her virginity with their full blessing and support ( silver perhaps referring to a generous dowry to be given to her husband). They will honor, celebrate, and adorn her self-protection with military splendor. She has fought the good fight, and thus she shall be rewarded for her victory. -- Douglas Sean O Donnell, The Song of Solomon: An Invitation to Intimacy 11. Give an example of a circumstance in which jealousy would be appropriate. Taking it to Heart 12. How can you jealously guard the purity of your marriage and of marriages around you? 13. How can you jealously protect the purity of single people whom God has placed in your life? 14. How can you give yourself more fully to God and not stir him to jealousy? 7. How does the woman identify herself in 8:10 and how does this quality impact her beloved? 8. What sentiment does the woman communicate to her beloved in 8:11-12? 9. How does the song conclude in 8:13-14? Wrestling With Issues 10. In 8:6, the woman speaks of jealousy in relationship to love. Read the following passages and sum up how the Bible demonstrates that jealousy can be a positive quality. Exodus 34:14 Numbers 25:10-13 2 Corinthians 11:2-3 James 4:4-5 Notes 23