1 Five W s for Dads Proverbs 20:7 June 21, 2015 Dr. Danny Forshee - I have been meeting with other men in an accountability/discipleship group for my most of my ministry and it began in my first church in Keller TX. When I taught in seminary I did the same thing but with a group of students. Chuck Swindoll is right, A man not in an accountability group is an accident waiting to happen. But it was not until I served in Virginia did we develop what we called the 5 W s. For four years I met with CT, Marshall, Greg, Ken and Matt four NASA engineers, one MD, and me a pastor. God has a sense of humor for sure. Ken Brentner met with us for a couple of years before he left NASA to become a professor at Penn State University. Ken is one of the smartest people I have ever met. He studied at Purdue then got his doctorate at Cambridge University. He studied the aerodynamics of ducks and applied that knowledge to assist the aerodynamics of aircraft. Interesting that is what the Wright Bros did when they created their glider planes at Kitty Hawk, NC; they studied the flight of birds and learned from God s creation. I digress. Anyhow, this group created a template to help keep us on track for our Thursday morning meetings and this is the origin of the 5 W s that I will share with you men today. - I love Fathers Day. It is a time of honoring our dads and as dads being honored by our children. Ashley and I are so blessed to have three wonderful kids that love Jesus and enjoy serving Him. God s blueprint for healthy societies and civilizations has at its core the nuclear unit of the family consisting of a husband, wife, and children. - There are some revealing and interesting statistics on the importance of dads leading the way spiritually for their families. Pastor Greg Laurie said, Being a vital and active part of the church is something we pass on to our kids. A study once disclosed that: If both Mom and Dad attend church regularly, 72% of their children remain faithful in attendance; if only Dad attends regularly, 55% remain faithful; if only Mom attends regularly, 15% remain faithful; and if neither attend regularly, only 6% remain faithful. (http://www.harvest.org/devotional/archive/devotion/2013-10-05.html) - For many years I have made it a practice to read a chapter in Proverbs each day as part of my daily devotion with the Lord. There are 31 chapters in Proverbs and most months have 31 days, so whatever day it is I will read that chapter in Proverbs. For example, today is June 21 and this morning I read Proverbs 21. - Before we look at the 5 W s I want to draw our attention to our key text today and that is Proverbs 20:7. The righteous man walks in his integrity; His children are blessed after him. It is a powerful and yet very simple
2 truth. The righteous (Hebrew word is saddiq and means just, righteous, innocent, and devout) man; notice the text does not say the perfect man. No one except Jesus is or ever will be perfect. We are flawed and sinful. And just in case you have not sinned before having children, you will indeed once you have them! Raising children, being a mom or dad that is present and involved in your child s life is hard work, or as James Dobson put it in one of his books, Parenting isn t for cowards. - The psalmist in Psalm 1 gives a clear example of what a righteous man looks like, how he behaves, and the consequent blessings that come to his life Read Psalm 1:1-3. 1 Blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor stands in the path of sinners, nor sits in the seat of the scornful; 2 But his delight is in the law of the LORD, and in His law he meditates day and night. 3 He shall be like a tree planted by the rivers of water, that brings forth its fruit in its season, whose leaf also shall not wither; and whatever he does shall prosper. - Proverbs 20:7 says the righteous man walks; the Hebrew word halak means to behave and refers to a man s way of life. It does not refer to the simple process of putting one foot in front of the other; it is much more substantive than this. Anyone can walk just like most can simply have a biological son or daughter. Most anyone can have biological children and be a parent, but it takes much character and hard work to be a good mom or dad. - The biblical text says the righteous man walks in his integrity. The Hebrew word is tom and means purity, innocence, and integrity. DL Moody said integrity is who you are in the dark or when no one sees you. People of integrity are not perfect, but their great ambition is that their lives match their words. A person of integrity can look at his son or daughter and tell them not do as I say not do, but do as I say and do. - Those who know us best are those who love with us. And men if we succeed in life but fail at home we are the poorer for it. The greatest treasure a man can give his children is a knowledge of the Lord and an example of how to walk with the Lord. - There is a promise in our text. If the condition is to walk in righteousness and integrity, then the promised blessing is our children are blessed. The Hebrew word is asre and it means happy, like the Greek word makarios means blessed and happy as well. - We have heard the phrase happy wife happy life and I do not dispute that because if momma isn t happy, no one is happy! But happy and blessed children give us parents great joy, pleasure, and a sense, by God s grace, of accomplishment. - Now I would like to offer our dads some practical words of encouragement on how you can live a life of integrity and be blessed and your children blessed as well. I. WALK
3 - The first W in the 5 W s is the word walk, and it refers to what we have been talking about thus far. In our accountability groups we begin by talking about our walk with God. One of the NASA engineers said one day he was consistent about 33.5% of the time in his devotionals the last week. I laughed but appreciated his honesty. At this point is when men talk about what they are reading in Scripture and how God is speaking to them, what He is telling them in their devotional lives. Walk also refers to our prayer life, being filled with the Holy Spirit, and serving Him. Galatians 5:16 states, 16 I say then: Walk in the Spirit, and you shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh. Walking in the Spirit is allowing the Holy Spirit to produce His fruit in us and also involves us utilizing the gifts of the Spirit He has imparted to us for God s glory and the blessing of His church. Every morning a part of my quiet time with the Lord is being filled with the Holy Spirit as Paul commanded in Ephesians 5:18. One of my professors in seminary gave this acrostic to help us recognize you need to be filled with the Spirit, repent of your sins, request the Spirit to fill you, and receive His filling. - Our walk with God is the most important thing in our lives. It obviously affects us but it also has great impact and importance on those around us. But as our focal text says it surely affects our children. As we walk in righteousness with the Lord our children are blessed. When I read Proverbs 20:7 every 20 th day of the month I always think of Terry Hurt. He is an example of this text, and Josh, Emily, and Katie are the direct beneficiaries of Terry s integrity and walk with God. II. WIFE - If the men in the accountability group are married, then we ask one another how are you treating your wife? And at this point we also talk about our children and how they are doing. Ephesians 5:25, 25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, tells husbands how we should be treating our wives. One of the guys in our group in VA, I think it was Dr. Matt, would threaten to call our wives and see if we were telling the truth! - Gil Johnson a member of Great Hills and now at SWBTS was in my last group until he left for Fort Worth. I enjoyed spending time with Gil, Greg, Larry, Daniel, Casey, and Fred. Gil would always talk about how he and Mari every night at 9:45 pm would have their prayer time together. I have heard Daniel VanCleave our student pastor say on more than one occasion how he and Cheri everyday say a prayer for each other. It may be a short prayer as one is walking out the door but they prayer together everyday nonetheless. - Read 1 Peter 3:7. 7 Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered.
4 - Guys, I know today is our day when we are honored, but I ask you everyday honor your wife and tell her you love and appreciate her. - On Ashley s birthday just a couple of weeks ago we went to her favorite restaurant and that would be Hula Hut and the five of us had a nice time. Bryant suggested we all tell three things each about why we appreciate Ashley. It was a sweet and powerful time of affirmation and I encourage other families to do what Bryant suggested we do that day. III. WITNESS - Each week we share whom we had witnessed to the previous week. Fred Campbell in our group was always a blessing and a challenge! In Matthew 4:19 19 Then He said to them, Follow Me, and I will make you fishers of men. Jesus connects our walk with Him to sharing our faith. As we follow Jesus and seek to emulate Him we will inevitably witness to others for that is what Jesus did in the New Testament, He loved people, met their needs, and shared the gospel with them. - During this time we would encourage one another and not beat each other up. If someone said they did not speak to anyone about Christ or invite anyone to church, then we would listen and then tell him we will pray that this week God gives you opportunities and you seize them, and that worked well. - Men, I encourage you to do this every week tells someone about the Lord or at least invite them to join you for worship and Bible study at your home church. IV. WORK - At this time the men would share what is going on in their jobs. Work is a big part of a man s life. As a follower of Jesus we should be hard workers and a good example to our co-workers and colleagues, and we are to give our best. Paul said in Colossians 3:22-23. 22 Bondservants, obey in all things your masters according to the flesh, not with eyeservice, as menpleasers, but in sincerity of heart, fearing God. 23 And whatever you do, do it heartily, as to the Lord and not to men. - It is a powerful thing for men to be able to have a safe place to just speak and get things out of their mind and in the presence of others who do not judge but hold accountable. We all need other godly men in our lives that will listen and inspire us to be better and strive harder and give our best. V. WELLNESS - Dr. Matt was the one who suggested this be a part of our accountability time. At first, it does not sound that fun to talk about our physical health, but it is vitally important. So many of our difficulties in life can be traced to
5 the neglect of our physical health, to poor diets, not enough exercise, and not enough sleep. - I take health pretty seriously. I am enjoying the training for these triathlons and it forces me to stay in shape. In fact, I completed a triathlon just this morning, and by God s grace I made it and also made it back in time to worship and preach this message. - I have not always been in good shape. Ten years ago I was about 15 pounds heavier and most of the weight was in my face and in my waist. Every night, seriously, every night I would drink milk and eat chocolate chip cookies for dessert. And that was in addition to eating all the sweets I wanted, plus cokes, Dr. Pepper, sweat tea, etc. I had my blood work done as part of getting life insurance and the results came back and they were not too good. My triglycerides were very high; any number over 150 is not good and mine were 539! So I made changes in my diet and started exercising and lost the 15 pounds and cut back substantially on sugar and my triglycerides went from 589 to 89. - For men to be able to share their struggles and successes with one another is a blessed thing. Blessed is the man who has friends when life gets hard and life will indeed get hard for us all. Read Ecclesiastes 4:10. 10 For if they fall, one will lift up his companion. But woe to him who is alone when he falls, for he has no one to help him up. CONCLUSION AND INVITATION - One thing I like to share with men and want to share this with you men here today and that is power of the cross. The cross consists of a vertical line or beam bisected by a horizontal line or beam. I have found that when the vertical is in good shape meaning our relationship with God then everything else seems to fall in place. But when the relationship with God is not there or has grown cold then all other relationships are strained. - Men, how are you doing in your relationship with God? Jesus died on the cross so you could be forgiven and saved and have a relationship with the Heavenly Father. God is for you not against you. If you have never been made clean and flawless then I invite you to believe on Jesus Christ and become a child of God. Repent, turn from sin to Jesus. I really enjoy Mercy Me s newest song now playing on Christian radio entitled, Flawless ; it states, No matter the bumps no matter the bruises no matter the scars still the truth is the cross has made, the cross has made you flawless; no matter the hurt or how deep the wound is no matter the pain still the truth is the cross has made the cross has made you flawless. - Many have already committed their lives to Christ but need encouragement in your walk with Him. Let me encourage you today and thank you for loving God and loving your families, for being a strong witness and giving your best at work. Some need to get in a group with other men and weekly disciple one another and go over the 5 W s in your small group.