Preaching Series: How To Practice the Presence of God in Our Daily Living Part 4: When Conflicts Arise

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Preaching Series: How To Practice the Presence of God in Our Daily Living Part 4: When Conflicts Arise Seventeenth Sunday after Pentecost September 20, 2015 James 4:1-12 A sermon preached by Rev. Dr. Ivan H.M. Peden Copyright: 2015, I. Peden LUMC, Lewisville, NC =================================================================== Society is riddled with conflicts every day and in every area of our lives. We run into it at work, at school, at home, in our community, in our neighborhood, and even sometimes in church. Conflict is a part of life in this world and even in the church. The New Testament church reveals that conflict has been a part of it from the beginning. For example, a reading of 1 and 2 Corinthians, Galatians and the other New Testament books, such as the Letter of James, reveals that conflict was evident even back then. The truth is that every church, or group, or association, or organization, or person has, or will, face times of conflict. The first and very obvious facts are these: conflict is common; conflict is inevitable; conflict is part of reality; and conflict will occur in our lives with others. Conflict contributes to, often even creates, uncertainty in our personal lives and on a global level. It can introduce instability and insecurity into the most stable of relationships. Spousal and child abuse are not as rare as we may like to believe. But there is a positive side to conflict. After all, not all conflict is necessarily unhealthy or harmful. If we learn how to manage conflict, we can learn some valuable lessons about ourselves and others. If conflict is a part of the fabric of social life, we, the followers of Jesus Christ, need to ask this question: How do we manage conflict as those who are committed to practicing the presence of God and not as those who are following the world s way? We will be looking to James, the author of the Letter that bears his name, for guidance as we seek answers. The lesson I want us to leave with today has to do with how we handle that conflict. We can respond to conflict in any number of ways, but we are called to respond in a way that shows our faithfulness to God. Clearly, there are right and wrong ways to handle conflict. One of the wrong ways to handle conflict is by denying it. This includes such things as escape responses to conflict. Let s call them the runaways. This type of response is used by

people who are more interested in avoiding or getting away from a conflict than resolving it. Denial is becoming far too common in our society. We see it at work even within the church. A person has a conflict with someone in their church so they pack their things and go down the street to the next church. We also see this happening far too often in families. We have conflict and the result is people picking up things and leaving rather than going through the process of working things through. We see it in the work force: a person has conflict and they quit and find another job. Other ways to escape from conflict include pretending that a problem does not exist, or refusing to do what should be done to resolve a conflict properly. These responses bring only temporary relief and usually make matters worse. Then there are those who use attack responses to the conflicts of life. Such responses are often used by people who are more interested in winning a conflict than in preserving a relationship. These are people who are usually aggressive who want to win at all costs who are filled with revenge or rage or anger who are driven from bitterness of the soul the ones who would cry out: I will sue you and take everything you have! Some people try to overcome an opponent by using various forms of force or intimidation, such as verbal attacks (including gossip and slander), physical violence, or efforts to damage a person financially or professionally. Such conduct usually escalates conflict. As we can see, the world has many ways to resolve conflict, but invariably, they leave God out. Maybe a little humor will illustrate what I mean: A dour Englishman was seated on a train between two ladies who were arguing about the window. One claimed that she would die of heatstroke if it stayed closed. The other said she would expire of pneumonia if it was opened. The ladies called the conductor, who didn t know how to resolve the conflict. Finally, the gentleman spoke up: First, open the window. That will kill the one. Then close it. That will kill the other. Then we will have peace! Since we are committing ourselves to practice the presence of God in our daily lives, including days when we are bothered by either internal or external conflict, here s the question to consider: How does God want us to resolve conflict? To find our answer, we will need to look for guidance in God s Word, and specifically, in the Letter of James, chapter 4. The Bible teaches that God s tells us God s ways are not our ways (Isa. 55:8). God s

ways are much higher than our ways, and often run counter to our ways. If we want true and lasting peace in our relationships, then we will need to resolve conflicts God s way. God s way for resolving conflicts is not to give us surface techniques that achieve outward peace. Rather, God goes for the heart primarily our heart relationship with God. When our ways please God, then we have a foundation for resolving conflicts with others (Prov. 16:7). In James 4:1, the writer asks, What is the source of quarrels and conflicts among you? He goes on to show that the source is selfishness. In chapter 4:7-10 James declares: To resolve conflicts we must submit to God, draw near to God, and humble ourselves before God. Here James focuses on God s way of conflict resolution which deals with our hearts before God. Conflict with God is often what is behind conflict with others. We can sum up three of James commands as follows: Submit to God unconditionally (4:7); draw near to God (4:8); and, humble yourself before God (4:10). In other words, and first and foremost in any conflict, we must get right with God. 1. To resolve conflicts, submit to God unconditionally. God is the ultimate and only sovereign authority in the universe, and it should be obvious to everyone that it is most unwise to rebel against God s authority. Since James reminds us that God is opposed to the proud in verse 6, we should understand why he admonishes us in verse 7 to submit therefore to God. It is the only sensible thing to do! Either we will go on fighting against God when tensions and conflicts arise, or we will humble ourselves under God s mighty hand, casting all our care on God (1 Pet. 5:6-7). Submit therefore to God in God s way of salvation, in God s person, in God s Word, and in God s providential dealings with you. Secondly 2. To resolve conflicts, draw near to God. James gives a command and a promise: Draw near to God and God will draw near to you. Before I comment on what this means, let me clarify what it does not mean. It does not mean that God is waiting for sinners to make the first move toward him, and then God will respond. Not only does that run counter to all of Scripture, it also runs counter to this verse, which is God commanding us to draw near to Him! Jesus said, No one can come to me unless the Father who sent me draws him (John 6:44). God always makes the first move toward us. If God did not, let s just say that we all would be in a devil of a mess! So if we have drawn

near to God for salvation, it was because God first drew near to us in and through his Son, Jesus Christ. As Jesus said, All that the Father gives me will come to me. (John 6:37). But let s remember that these words in James are written primarily to believers. It is easy even for believers to drift away from the Lord. James point is, Guess who moved? It wasn t God! If we re engaging in continuing quarrels and conflicts, we are not close to God. We ve drifted! God is calling us to draw near to God, with the promise that God is ready and waiting to draw near to us. The thought of not enjoying fellowship with the Lord should move us to clear up whatever stands between you and me and the Lord. We cannot be close to God at the same time that we re angry or bitter towards our neighbor. That s why immediately after teaching how serious anger can be, Jesus said in Matt. 5:23-24: Therefore if you are presenting your offering at the altar, and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your offering there before the altar and go; first be reconciled to your brother or sister, and then come and present your offering. We can t draw near to God until we first clear up, as much as it is in our power, any relational difficulties. If we think that we re close to God, but we re angry and bitter, we re deceiving ourselves! We need to submit to God; secondly, draw near to God, and thirdly. 3. To resolve conflicts, humble yourself before God. James here is talking about our thorough, heartfelt repentance. Pride is at the heart of all disobedience to God and of almost all relational conflicts. If God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble (James 4:6), then we want to make sure we re not making ourselves God s opponents! The theme of God humbling the proud, but exalting the humble, runs throughout Scripture. In the context of dealing with relational conflicts, the apostle Paul tells us to imitate the Lord Jesus, the supreme example of one who humbled himself and was exalted by God (Phil. 2:8-9). The key to developing biblical humility is in the phrase, in the presence of the Lord (James 4:10). Only those with hardened hearts could be proud in the presence of the Lord! The holy angels in God s presence cover their faces (Isa. 6:2). Surely the presence of the Lord is in this place.. Some steps to take right now to begin to resolve relational conflicts are these: to submit to God, to draw near to God, and to humble oneself before God. When conflicts arise in our

lives, James calls us to accept a challenging choice. It is the choice of humility and submission. It is a humble recognition that we can never resolve conflict on our own. It is a submission to the power of God. We do not have the power or ability to quiet those fightings and fears within and without us. They re simply too strong, and we are too weak. But God offers us an opportunity to become new, different people. It can happen not by the force of our human will, but by the power of Jesus Christ, who alone can undo our internal and external conflicts. To him be all praise and glory now and forever more. In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen.