AREYOUHONORINGGODINYOURFAMILY? 6Children,obeyyourparentsintheLord,becausethisisright. 2 Honoryourfather andyourmother whichisthefirstcommandmentwithapromise 3 sothatitmay bewellwithyouandyoumaylivelongintheland. 4 Andfathers,donotprovokeyour childrentoanger;onthecontrary,raisetheminthedisciplineandinstructionofthe Lord.(Eph.6:1 4) Introduction Suppose you were to come into English grammar class and your teacher were to announce,students,todayi mgoingtoteachyoutwoimportantrulesofgrammar: First,don tneveruseadoublenegative.second,rememberthatverbsalwayshas toagreewiththeirsubjects. WhywouldacompetentEnglishteacherusesuchincorrectgrammar,breakingthe very rules he is trying to teach? In this case, the English teacher is doing it on purpose;heismakingaglaringviolationoftherulepreciselytocallattentiontothe rulesothathisstudentswillrememberandnotmakethesamemistake.thereisa certaintermforthis thisviolatingofagrammaticalruleinordertoemphasizethat rule itiscalleda fumblerule. A fumble rule may be humorous and can be a very effective means of teaching English grammar. But there is another kind of fumble rule which is not at all humorous and is anything but effective. It happens whenever you state a rule you expect your children to obey but you do not obey that rule yourself. You instruct yoursonordaughtertoobeytherulesoftheroad,butyouyourselftotallydisregard the speed limit. You instruct your children not to speak disparagingly against one another,butiftheymakeamistakeorcomehomewithlessthansatisfactorygrades, doyouthoughtlesslyridiculeandbelittlethem?(ourdailybread,9/22/92) LetusneverforgetthattheBibleteachesusthatobedienceisnotjustforchildren, notedeuteronomy11:18 19, Fix these words of mine in your hearts and minds; tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. 19 Teach them to your children, talking aboutthemwhenyousitathomeandwhenyouwalkalongtheroad,whenyoulie downandwhenyougetup.(deut.11:18 19) LetusbearinmindthisbiblicalruleaswecometoEphesians6:1 4,apassagethat addresses Christian children and Christian parents a passage that exhorts us to honorgodinourfamilies. I.Children,HonorGod, byhonoringyourparents(6:1 3)
Christian children are exhorted to obey their parents. When Christian children are living a Spirit filled life, the characteristic of submission will especially displayitselfintheformofobediencetotheirparents. Weregarddisobediencetoparentsratherlightlyincontemporarysociety;but thebibleconfrontsuswiththeseriousnessofthismatter: since they refused to have God in their knowledge, God gave them up to a reprobate mind, to do those things that ought not to be done. 29 They have becomefilledwitheverykindofwickedness,evil,greed,anddepravity.theyare fullofenvy,murder,strife,deceitandmalice.theyaregossipers, 30 slanderers, God haters, insolent, arrogant, and boastful; they invent ways of doing evil; they are disobedient to their parents; 31 they are senseless, faithless, heartless,ruthless.(rom.1:28 31) Butknowthis:Therewillbeterribletimesinthelastdays. 2 Menwillbelovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, 3 without natural affection, unforgiving, slanderous, without self control, brutal, not lovers of the good, 4 treacherous, rash,conceited,loversofpleasureratherthanloversofgod.(2tim.3:1 4) Colossians 3:20 elaborates on the exhortation given in Ephesians by adding the words inallthings; Children,obeyyourparentsinallthings,forthisispleasing to the Lord. For a child, living in his parents home, especially in his younger years, there is no area of his life that is not subject to his parents God given responsibility and authority: school work, friendships, dating relationships, T.V. andmovies,choiceofmusic,etc. Christian children are commanded to obey their parents in the Lord. For children who trust in Christ as their Savior, obedience to their parents forms a major part of their devotion to their Lord Jesus Christ; they are to obey their parents out of love and obedience to the Lord Jesus Christ. Likewise, it is the obligationofchristianparentstobesurethatwhattheycommandanddemandof theirchildrenisinharmonywiththelord scommandmentsandnotcontraryto Hiscommandments.ThewholefamilyistobeinsubmissiontotheLord:children obeyingtheirparents,andparentsobeyingthelord. Christianchildrenaretoobeytheirparents becausethisisright. TheBible sfirst and foremost concern is for righteousness, doing what is right. The primary concernisnotexpediency(theendeavortoavoidpunishment,)norpersonalgain (the endeavor to gain a reward.) But note that the doing of what is right does resultinthereceptionofablessedrewardfromthelord,asisindicatedinverses 2 3, Honoryourfatherandyourmother whichisthefirstcommandmentwith apromise 3 sothatitmaybewellwithyouandyoumaylivelongintheland We must also understand that the promise of living long in the land is an Old Testament covenantal promise, which in New Testament terms translates into
livingalifeinfellowshipwiththelordandenjoyinghisblessing,notnecessarily alonglifeontheearth. Thefirstandforemostreasonwhythechildistoobeyhisparentsis becauseitis right. ObedienceispleasingtoGod: Jehovahisrighteous;helovesrighteousness; theuprightshallbeholdhisface (Psl.11:7.)Obedienceisfulfillingthepurposefor whichgodoriginallymadeusandonereasonforwhichheredeemedus: Nowall has been heard; here is the conclusion of the matter: Fear God and keep his commandments;forthisisthewholedutyofman (Eccl.12:13.) Accordingtothefifthcommandment,Christianchildrenaretohonortheirfather andtheirmother.obediencedealswithactions;honorisamatterofattitude.the child s attitude towards his father and mother must be that of rendering unto themhonorandrespect,notedeuteronomy27:16, Cursedisthemanwhotakes his father or mother lightly. To take one s parents lightly means to not take them seriously; even to go so far as to scoff at them, ridicule them, or despise themandtreatthemwithcontempt.notethatinthemidstofthedescriptionof thecityasabloodycityandonethatisfulloftumult i.e.,asocietycharacterized byviolenceandanarchy thereisthechargethatparentshavebeendishonored andtakenlightly theyhavebeentreatedwithcontempt: The word of Jehovah came to me: 2 Son of man, will you judge her? Will you judgethiscityofbloodshed?thenconfrontherwithallherdetestablepractices 3 andsay:ocitythatbringsuponherselfdoombysheddingbloodinhermidst and defiles herself by making idols, 4 you have become guilty because of the bloodyouhaveshedandhavebecomedefiledbytheidolsyouhavemade.you have brought your days to a close, and the end of your years has come. ThereforeIwillmakeyouanobjectofscorntothenationsandalaughingstock toallthecountries. 5 Thosewhoarenearandthosewhoarefarawaywillmock you,oinfamouscity,fullofturmoil. 6 SeehoweachoftheprincesofIsraelwho areinyouuseshispowertoshedblood. 7 Inyoutheyhavetakentheirfathers andmotherslightly;inyoutheyhaveoppressedthealienandmistreatedthe fatherlessandthewidow. 8 Youhavedespisedmyholythingsanddesecratedmy Sabbaths. 9 You are slanderous men bent on shedding blood; in you are those whoeatatthemountainshrinesandcommitlewdacts. 10 Inyouarethosewho dishonor their father s bed; in you are those who violate women during their period when they are ceremonially unclean. 11 In you one man commits a detestable offense with his neighbor s wife, another shamefully defiles his daughter in law,andanotherviolateshissister,hisownfather sdaughter. 12 In youmenacceptbribestoshedblood;youtakeusuryandexcessiveinterestand makeunjustgainfromyourneighborsbyextortion.andyouhaveforgottenme, declaresthelordjehovah.(ezek.22:1 12) Honorandrespecttowardsone sparentsisanattitudethesonordaughtermust neveroutgrow.notemark7:10 13,apassageinwhichtheLordJesuscondemns
the Pharisees for tolerating such practices in Israel that would allow a man to neglecthisparentsintheirneedandfailtohonorthem: Moses said, Honor your father and your mother; and, Whoever curses his fatherormother,lethimbeputtodeath. 11 Butyousay,Ifamanshallsayto his father or his mother, That by which you might have received [financial] assistancefrommeis Corban, (thatistosay,given[togod]); 12 younolonger allowhimtodoanythingforhisfatherorhismother; 13 [thereby]makingvoid the word of God by your tradition, which you have handed down [from past generations].andyoudomanysimilarthings.(mk.7:10 13) Corban wasapracticethatpermittedamantodesignateaportionofhiswealth asanofferingtogod,andthereforenotavailabletobegiventohisparents.but thepracticeof Corban stillpermittedthemantoderivepersonalbenefitfrom thatwealth,upuntilthetimeithadbeenactuallydevotedtothelord. Christian children are to honor God, by honoring their parents. TheLORD in His Word promises blessing to those who obey His commandment to honor their father and their mother (Eph. 6:2 3.) As previously mentioned, in the Old TestamenteralonglifeinthePromisedLandofCanaanwasthegreatblessingof God foritmeantenjoymentofthelord sfavorandfellowship.theenjoyment ofthelord sfavorandfellowshipupontheearthandespeciallyinhisheavenly presence is the New Testament form of this blessing. We may well contrast Proverbs 30:17 with the promise recorded in Ephesians 6:2 3, The eye that mockshisfatheranddespisestoobeyhismother,theravensofthevalleyshallpluck itoutandtheyoungvulturesshalleatit. II.Parents,HonorGod, bynurturingyourchildrenforthelord(6:4) The Apostle Paul especially urges fathers to nurture their children. The responsibilityofraisingthechildrenforchristcannotbedelegatedtothechurch ortothechristianschool,notedeuteronomy6:5 7,20 25, LoveJehovahyourGodwithallyourheartandwithallyoursoulandwithall your strength. 6 These commandments I give you today are to be upon your hearts. 7 Andyoushallteachthemdiligentlytoyourchildren.Talkaboutthem whenyousitathomeandwhenyouwalkalongtheroad,whenyouliedown and when you get up 20 In the future when your son asks you, What is the meaningofthestipulations,decreesandlawsjehovahourgodhascommanded you? 21 tellhim:wewereslavesofpharaohinegypt,butjehovahbroughtusout ofegyptwithamightyhand. 22 BeforeoureyesJehovahsentmiraculoussights and wonders upon Egypt and Pharaoh and his whole household. 23 But he broughtusoutfromtheretobringusinandgiveusthelandthathepromised onoathtoourforefathers. 24 Jehovahcommandedustoobeyallthesedecrees andtofearjehovahourgod,sothatwemightalwaysprosperandbekeptalive,
asisthecasetoday. 25 AndifwearecarefultoobeyallthislawbeforeJehovah our God, as he has commanded us, that will be our righteousness.(deut. 6:5 7,20 25) Theprimaryresponsibilityrestsuponthefather butnote,also,theexhortation ofproverbs1:8, Myson,listentotheinstructionofyourfatheranddonotforsake the law of your mother. The wife shares in the responsibility of nurturing the children,andalsoservesasanexampleandmodelforthem.asthewifecarries out her God given role as presented in Ephesians 5:24, she becomes a godly model for the children: as the church is in submission to Christ, so also wives [oughttosubmit]totheirhusbandsinallthings. Christian fathers are exhorted not to provoke their children to anger (or, to resentment.) A father may provoke his children by confusing them with conflicting demands: issuing conflicting commandments or changing the household rules from time to time in an arbitrary, capricious manner. God s standardisalwaysconsistent,asjesuspointsouttothejewsimatthew5:17 18, DonotthinkthatIhavecometoabolishtheLawortheProphets;Ihavenot cometoabolishthembuttofulfillthem. 18 Itellyouthetruth,untilheavenand earthdisappear,notthesmallestletter,nottheleaststrokeofapen,willbyany means disappear from the Law until everything is accomplished.(matt. 5:17 18) Afathermayprovokehischildrenbyfrustratingthemwithinconsistentrewards and punishments: failing to provide the promised reward for the child s obedienceorfailingtofollowthroughwiththethreateneddisciplineforactsof disobedience.godisalwaysfaithfultohisword,notegalatians6:7 8, Donotbedeceived,Godcannotbemocked:whateveramansows,hewillalso reap: 8 themanwhosowstopleasehissinfulnature,shallreapdestructionfrom thesinfulnature;butthemanwhosowstopleasethespirit,shallreapeternal lifefromthespirit.(gal.6:7 8) Afathermayprovokehischildrenbyrepellingthemwithhypocrisy.Notethat thegodlyfatherofproverbsnotonlyinstructshisson,butalsoleadshiminthe wayofrighteousness: Ihavetaughtyouinthewayofwisdom;Ihaveledyouin paths of uprightness (Prov. 4:11.) God is absolutely righteous, He does not requireanythingofusthathehimselfisunwillingtodo;comparegenesis22:2, thelord scommandforabramtosacrificehisonlyson,isaac,withjohn3:16, God said to Abraham, Now take your son, your only son, the son whom you love, Isaac, and go to the land of Moriah. Offer him there as a burnt offering upononeofthemountainsofwhichiwilltellyou. (Gen.22:2)
God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, so that whoever believesinhimshouldnotperish,buthaveeternallife.(jn.3:16) Forusasparents,beinglessthanperfect,therewillbetheneedtoapologizeand askforgivenessofourchildrenwhenwehavewrongedthemorhavenotsetthe rightexampleforthem. Christianfathersaretonurturetheirchildren.Tonurturemeanstocultivatelife tomaturity.bywayofillustration,onenurturesalittleseedlingintoamature, fruit producing plant. There is the need to always have this God given task clearly in view: Parents may not foolishly ignore their child s growth and development,alwaystreatingtheirsonordaughterlikealittlechildevenwhen heorshehasbecomeayouthandthenayoungmanoryoungwoman.parents may not selfishly stifle their child s growth and development, always viewing theirsonordaughteras mylittleboyorgirl, andwishingtoeverkeepthemin thatstatewhentheyaresupposedtobematuredintoagodlymanorwoman. WhatisGod sgoalforhischildreninchrist?itisstatedinephesians4:15, by practicingthetruthinlove,withregardtoallthingsletusgrowupinhim,theone whoisthehead,thatis,christ. God sdesireisthatwegrowintothefullmaturity ofourlordjesuschrist;thislikewisemustbethegoalofchristianparentsfor theirchildren. Christian fathers are to nurture their children by means of "discipline" and "instruction." The Greek term, paideiva, translated as "discipline" in Ephesians 6:4,hasthemeaningoftrainingthroughtheuseofdiscipline.TheLORDemploys discipline in the process of producing spiritual growth and maturity in His children: My son, do not take lightly the LORD s discipline, and do not lose heart when he rebukes you (Heb. 12:5.) The LORD s use of discipline is an indication and testimony of His love for His children: the LORD disciplines those he loves, andscourgeseveryoneheacceptsasason (Heb.12:6.)TheLORDadministersthis trainingforourbenefit,sothatwemaybecomepartakersofhisholiness: Our fathersdisciplinedusforalittlewhileastheythoughtbest;butgoddisciplinesus forourgood,sothatwemayshareinhisholiness (Heb.12:10.) The other Greek term (nouqesiva), rendered, instruction, has the meaning of counsel, warning, or guidance. Note the counsel given to the young man in Ecclesiastes11:9,12:1, Behappy,youngman,whileyouareyoung,andletyourheartgiveyoujoyin the days of your youth. Follow the ways of your heart and whatever your eye sees, but know that for all these things God will bring you to judgment 12 Remember yourcreatorinthedaysofyouryouth.(eccl.11:9,12:1) InEcclesiastes,thesonisfacetiouslyinstructedtofollowthecourseofhisheart, todoashepleases;butthenheisconfrontedwiththetruththathewillgivean
accountofhislifebeforethejudgmentseatofgod.therefore,heisexhortedto bewiseandlivealifethatispleasingtogod. Christian fathers are instructed to nurture their children for the LORD. As Christian parents, our interest is not in teaching our children how to be good little boys and girls. That is to say, our main objective is not to produce wellbehaved,well manneredchildren,sothattheywillgetalongwellinsocietyand make their parents proud of them and so that they will not cause disgrace to their parents. As Christian parents we must be interested in pointing our childrentochrist,leadingthemtochrist,andseeingthemreceivechristastheir SaviorandthenproceedtoleadlivesthataredevotedtoChrist.Inotherwords, our training is not mere moralism for personal and earthly benefit; on the contrary,ourtrainingmustbechrist centeredfortheeternalwellbeingofour childrenandforthegloryofgod. ChristianparentsaretohonorGod,bynurturingtheirchildrenfortheLord. Conclusion AreyouhonoringGodinyourfamily?Christianchildren,areyouhonoringGodby honoringyourparents?christianparents,areyouhonoringgodbynurturingyour childrenforthelord?