Session 13 Web 1 Poems for Exploring poems Daddy fell into the pond by Alfred Noyes Everyone grumbled. The sky was grey. We had nothing to do and nothing to say. We were nearing the end of a dismal day, And then there seemed to be nothing beyond. Then Daddy fell into the pond! And everyone s face grew merry and bright, And Timothy danced for sheer delight. Give me the camera, quick, oh quick! He s crawling out of the duckweed! Click! Then the gardener suddenly slapped his knee, And doubled up, shaking silently, And the ducks all quacked as if they were daft, And it sounded as if the old drake laughed. Oh there wasn t a thing that didn t respond When Daddy fell into the pond! Aliens stole my underpants by Brian Moses To understand the ways Of alien beings is hard, And I ll never understand Why they landed in my backyard And I ll always wonder why, On their journey from the stars Aliens stole my underpants And took them back to Mars. They came on a Sunday night; The weekend wash had been done Pegged out on the line To be dried by the morning sun. Page: 1 of 5
Mrs Driver from next door Was a witness on the scene, When aliens stole my underpants. I m glad that they were clean! It seems they were quite choosy, As nothing else was taken. Do aliens wear underpants, Or were they just mistaken? I think I have a theory Of what they wanted them for. They needed to block up a draught Blowing in through the spacecraft door. Or maybe some Mars Museum Wanted items brought back from space: Just think! My pair of underpants Displayed in their own glass case. And on the label beneath Would be written where they got em And how such funny underwear Once covered an earthling s bottom! Jabberwocky by Lewis Carroll 'Twas brillig, and the slithy toves Did gyre and gimble in the wabe; All mimsy were the borogoves, And the mome raths outgrabe. Beware the Jabberwock, my son! The jaws that bite, the claws that catch. Beware the Jubjub bird, and shun The frumious Bandersnatch! He took his vorpal sword in hand: Long time the manxome foe he sought So rested he by the Tumtum tree, And stood a while in thought. And as in uffish thought he stood, The Jabberwock, with eyes of flame, Came whiffling through the tulgey wood, And burbled as it came! Page: 2 of 5
One, two! One, two! And through and through His vorpal blade went snicker snack! He left it dead, and with its head He went galumphing back. And hast thou slain the Jabberwock? Come to my arms, my beamish boy! O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay! He chortled in his joy. Twas brillig, and the slithy toves Did gyre and gimble in the wabe; All mimsy were the borogoves, And the mome raths outgrabe. My Uncle James Anonymous My uncle James was a terrible man! He cooked his wife in a frying pan! She s far too tender to bake or boil, He cooked her up in peanut oil! But some time later, a month or more There came a knock at my uncle s door A great, green devil was standing there He caught my uncle by the hair! Are you the uncle that cooked his wife? And leads such a terribly wicked life? My uncle yowled like an old tom cat But the Devil took him for all that. Oh, take a tip from Uncle James: Don t throw stones and don t call names. Just be as good as ever you can And never cook aunts in a frying pan! Page: 3 of 5
When I became a Christian by Adrian Plass When I became a Christian I said, Lord fill me in! Tell me what I ll suffer in this world of shame and sin. He said, Your body may be burned and left to rot and stink. I said amen I think. I think amen, amen I think. I think I say amen. I m not entirely sure though can we run through that again? You say my body may be burned and left to rot and stink? Well yes, that sounds terrific Lord. I say amen I think! But, Lord, there must be other ways to follow you, I said. I really would prefer to end up dying in my bed. Well, yes, he said. You could put up with sneers and scorn and spit. I said Amen! A bit. A bit amen, amen a bit. A bit I say amen. I m not entirely sure, though. Can we run through that again? You say I could put up with sneers and also scorn and spit. Well, yes, I ve made my mind up and I say amen a bit. Well, I sat back and thought a while and tried a different ploy. Look, Lord, I said, The good book says that Christians live in joy. That s true, he said. You need the joy to bear the pain and sorrow. Now tell me, will you follow me? I said Amen! Tomorrow. Tomorrow, Lord, I ll say it then. That s when I ll say amen. I m not entirely sure though. Can we run through that again? You say that I will need the joy to bear the pain and sorrow? Well, yes, I ve made my mind up and I ll say amen tomorrow. He said, Look, I m not asking you to spend an hour with me A quick salvation sandwich and a cup of sanctity. The price is you! Not part of you but very single bit. I said Amen. I quit! I m very sorry, Lord, I said. I d like to follow you. But I don t think religion is a manly thing to do. He said, Forget religion then and think about my son. And tell me; are you man enough to do what He has done? Page: 4 of 5
Are you man enough to see the need and man enough to go? Man enough to pay the price for those who think they know? Man enough to say the things that no one wants to hear To battle through Gethsemane with loneliness and fear? And tell me, are you man enough to stand it at the end: The moment of betrayal by the kisses of a friend? Are you man enough to suffer; are you man enough to cry? When nails break your body are you man enough to die? Man enough to take the pain and wear it like a crown? Man enough to love the world and turn it upside down? Are you man enough to follow me? I ask you once again! I said, Oh Lord, I m frightened. But I also said, Amen. Amen, amen, amen, amen. Amen, amen, amen. I said, Oh, Lord, I m frightened! But I also said Amen. Page: 5 of 5