RESILIENT LIFE & LEADERSHIP RESILIENT WARRIORS! Bob Dees MG, U.S. Army, Retired GOD Style USMA OCT 2014 author@resiliencetrilogy.com www.resiliencetrilogy.com https://www.facebook.com/resiliencetrilogy Twitter.com/@MGBobDees Slides @ www.resiliencetrilogy.com 10/12/2014 RFD LLC 1
5/05/14 RFD LLC 2014 2
The Army Mule 5/05/14 RFD LLC 2014 3
SESSION 1 GET READY!!! 10/12/2014 RFD LLC 4
WE are all Warriors 10/12/2014 RFD LLC 5
LIFE is a Contact Sport! 10/12/2014 RFD LLC 6
SUFFERING IN THE WORLD YOU WILL HAVE TRIBULATION. Resulting From: SELF OTHERS SPIRITUAL FORCES INEXPLICABLE TRAJEDY Greek thlipsis Latin squeezing tribulum threshing This Tribulation results in Trauma, Pain, Suffering, and Opportunity. 10/12/2014 BUT BE OF GOOD CHEER, I HAVE OVERCOME THE WORLD. JESUS -- John 16:33(NKJV) RFD LLC 7
Common Misconceptions About PAIN PAIN IS PUNISHMENT (versus John 9:1-5) PAIN IS UNPRODUCTIVE (versus James 1:2-4, et al) PAIN INDICATES SPIRITUAL FAILURE (Paul?, Job?, Peter?) PAIN IS NOT GOOD (versus Romans 8:28,35,37) PAIN IS NOT COMPATIBLE WITH A GOOD AND ALL-POWERFUL GOD Our investigation of resilience will illustrate how God s goodness, omnipresence, and omnipotence provide courage and confidence as we struggle with pain in our lives. Resilient Warriors, page 52 Categories above from: Stowell, Joseph M. The Upside of Down. Grand Rapids, MI: Discovery House Publishers, 1991. 10/12/2014 RFD LLC All Rights Reserved 8
RESILIENCE GOD Style We are often troubled, but not crushed; sometimes in doubt, but never in despair; there are many enemies, but we are never without a friend; And though badly hurt at times, we are not destroyed. 2 Corinthians 4:8, 9 Source: Spiritual Fitness Handbook 10/12/2014 RFD LLC 9
What About You? What About Me? one person is devastated, while the other is determined one breaks, while the other bounces Are You a Tennis Ball or an Egg? Will we view the inevitable traumas of life through a lens of resilience and potential growth through adversity, or will be inclined to play the role of a helpless and hopeless victim? (Resilient Warriors, page 199) The fundamentals of the Resilience Life Cycle and Comprehensive Personal Fitness can make the difference for now, and into eternity. 10/12/2014 RFD LLC 10
RESILIENCE LIFE CYCLE LEARN & ADAPT Before During After Source: Resilient Warriors, www.resiliencetrilogy.com 10/12/2014 RFD LLC 11
The Greatest of Commandments The Greatest of Commandments Comprehensive Personal Fitness JESUS: YOU SHALL LOVE YOUR GOD WITH» ALL YOUR HEART AND WITH (EMOTIONAL)» ALL YOUR SOUL AND WITH (SPIRITUAL)» ALL YOUR MIND AND WITH (MENTAL)» ALL YOUR STRENGTH AND (PHYSICAL) YOU SHALL LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR (RELATIONAL) AS YOURSELF. (Mark 12: 30, NASB) Comprehensive Personal Fitness 10/12/2014 RFD LLC All Rights Reserved 12
Comprehensive Personal Fitness leading to RESILIENCE PHYSICAL ( Body is Temple of Holy Spirit ) Diet, Exercise, Hygiene, Sleep MENTAL( Taking Every Thought Captive ) Thought Patterns, Intellectual Curiosity, Acuity SPIRITUAL( To be spiritually minded is life & peace ) Connection with God, faith practices EMOTIONAL( Slow to Get Angry ) Regulation, Temperament RELATIONAL( Let us LOVE one another ) Connectivity, Mutual Support 10/12/2014 RFD LLC All Rights Reserved 13
Get Ready! Know Your CALLING Know Your ENEMY Know Your FRIENDS Know Your EQUIPMENT Deploy with the Right MINDSET Develop/Rehearse ACTIONS ON CONTACT The Ounce of Prevention The best time to repair the roof is when the sun is shining President John Fitzgerald Kennedy 10/12/2014 RFD LLC All Rights Reserved 14
Deploy with Right Mindset For the mind set on the flesh is death, but the mind set on the Spirit is life and peace. Romans 8:6 For Ezra had set his heart to study the law of the Lord and to practice it, and to teach His statutes and ordinances Israel. Ezra 7:10 Mindset is inextricably linked with Heartset King Jehosophat s deployment (putting Levites out front in battle formation) reflected both his mindset and his heartset. 2 Chronicles 20 10/12/2014 RFD LLC All Rights Reserved 15
ACTIONS ON CONTACT Stop, Drop and Roll Reflective Action (Pavlovian Response) Infantry Term Immediate Action Drills What if British Army EG Deploy Evaluate/Develop Situation Choose Course of Action Recommend/Execute SOURCE: Chapter 6, Resilient Warriors, 2011, Dees Call 911 (Ask for help) Start the IV (Nurture yourself) Keep Breathing (Maintain routines) Your Well of Courage (Past strengths) Remember Your Calling 10/12/2014 RFD LLC All Rights Reserved 16
RESILIENCE SUMMARY TRAUMA is a Reality RESILIENCE is a Necessity Invest now in yourself and others Before, During, After Not merely about human strength or grit Not by power or by might, but by My Spirit The Secret Sauce! JESUS was the ultimate Resilient Warrior & Leader And HE grants that same Resilience to His Followers 10/12/2014 RFD LLC 2013 17
Never Once By Matt Redman Kneeling on this battle ground Seeing just how much You ve done Knowing every victory Was Your power in us Scars and struggles on the way But with joy our hearts can say Yes, our hearts can say Never once did we ever walk alone Never once did You leave us on our own You are faithful, God, You are faithful 10/12/2014 RFD LLC 18
SESSION 2 WEATHERING THE STORM! 10/12/2014 RFD LLC 19
RESILIENCE LIFE CYCLE LEARN & ADAPT Before During After Source: Resilient Warriors, www.resiliencetrilogy.com 10/12/2014 RFD LLC 20
Weathering the Storm The Bible frequently refers to the Day of Trouble. Call upon me in the day of trouble; I shall rescue you, and you will honor Me. (Ps 50:15) God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in time of trouble. Therefore, we will not fear (Ps 46:1,2) In the storm, we are to call, to cry out, to God. On the day I called, You answered me. You made me bold with strength in my soul. (Ps 138:3) Then they cried out to the Lord in their trouble; He delivered them out of their distresses. (Ps 107:6,13, 19,28,29-32) 10/12/2014 RFD LLC All Rights Reserved 21
Consider My Servant, Job 10/12/2014 RFD LLC 2013 22
Consider My Servant, Job There was a man in the land of Uz whose name was Job blameless, upright, fearing God and turning away from evil. (God to Satan) Have you considered my servant Job? (Satan to God) he will surely curse you to your face. (Job) Naked I came from my mother s womb, and naked I shall return there. The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away. Blessed be the name of the Lord. 3 Friends, Wife (Eliphaz, Bildad, Zophar) (Curse God, and die) Wisdom of Youth (Elihu) (33:29,30 that he may be enlightened ) God s Feedback (Where were you when???) Job s GROWTH through Trauma (Post-traumatic Growth) Now my eye sees you and I repent in dust and ashes 10/12/2014 RFD LLC 2013 23
What does a STORM look like? At intervals between a bomb falling it sounded like church: voices from nearby slit trenches all chanting the Lord s prayer together- over and over again. Louder when the bombs hit closer. Veteran Army Air Forces Bombardier and Olympic Runner Louie Zamperini as recorded in Unbroken by Laura Hillenbrand, page 117 10/12/2014 RFD LLC 24
Weathering the Storm Call 911 Pray to God Ask for Help from 911 Friends Ask the experts Graciously accept help from others Start the IV God s WORD in every possible way Keep Breathing Count Your Way Spiritual Breathing Hit A Knee Record the Journey Draw From Your Well of Courage Remember Past Faithfulness FEAR + FAITH = COURAGE Remember Your Calling Sharon knew that Faith, Family, and Friends would be the key to living through this nightmarish reality. Resilient Warriors, page 129, referring to Gold Star Parents Sharon and Deacon Collins 10/12/2014 RFD LLC 25
From PAIN to SERVICE God s Economy of Suffering PAIN PRESENCE OF GOD In Your Presence is Fullness of JOY The JOY of the LORD is my STRENGTH I can do all things through HIM who STRENGTHENS me Not to be served, but to SERVE And to be a MERCHANT OF HOPE 10/12/2014 RFD LLC 26
The Hope Diamond John 3:16 Psalm 31:24 Psalm 38:15 Romans 5:2-5 Psalm 42:15 Psalm 71:5 For God so loved the world That He gave his one and only Son, He Loves & He Gave that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life. (NIV) We Believe & We Live Romans 15:4,13 1 Corinthians 3:12 Colossians 1:27 Hebrews 6:18-20 1 Timothy 4:10 Courtesy Max Lucado, 3:16: The Numbers of Hope, page 8. 10/12/2014 RFD LLC 27
SESSION 3 BOUNCING BACK 10/12/2014 RFD LLC 28
Bouncing Back Guard Primary Relationships Choose Forgiveness & Gratitude Grieve Well Sing a New Song Revalidate Your Mission & Purpose Comfort Others Without Getting Stuck in the Toxic Emotions of Guilt, False Guilt, Anger, Bitterness Badly Hurt, but not Destroyed 10/12/2014 RFD LLC All Rights Reserved 29
Guard Your Primary Relationships First With GOD Don t lose your first love Press into God Then With Others Avoid attacking inward Set example for others 10/12/2014 RFD LLC All Rights Reserved 30
Choose Forgiveness & Gratitude Don t Take the Bait Flee a Spirit of Offense Choose to Forgive Loosen Your Grip Choose to Be Grateful Raise Your Hands REFERENCE: Choosing Forgiveness, Choosing Gratitude by Nancy Leigh DeMoss 10/12/2014 RFD LLC All Rights Reserved 31
Grieve Well Stuffing Grief only prolongs and deepens the impact of trauma on you and others. Grief is like waves of the ocean that roll to our emotional shore and then recede time and again until the waves become smaller and less frequent. We never forget, but we do learn to process it through the lens of God s Word. 10/12/2014 RFD LLC All Rights Reserved 32
Sing a New Song being renewed in body, mind, soul, spirit, and relationships as we rise from the ashes of brokenness (RW, pg 166) Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans that I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future. (NIV) Vital Optimism The Power of New Singing in Prison??? Courtesy iclipart.com as we obediently seek to sing a new song in our recovery from trauma, we will soon find that the Creator God starts refilling us (RW, pg 167) 10/12/2014 RFD LLC 33
Revalidate Your Calling Discern and Chart the Future Personal Board of Directors Zero Based Budgeting Fixed Life Costs (Values Map) Comprehensive Personal Fitness Courtesy GaryLEllis.org Variable Life Costs (Mission Map) Practice Your Declinations RW Advanced Study Guide (Pg 81+) lays out this process 10/12/2014 RFD LLC 34
Comfort Others Comfort Others Walking with a Limp Stewardship of Pain Healthy Dependence God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we will be able to comfort those who are in any affliction. (2 Corinthians 1:3,4) 10/12/2014 RFD LLC All Rights Reserved 35
RESILIENT WARRIORS LEARN & ADAPT Know Your Calling Know Your Enemy Know Your Friends Know Your Equipment Call 911 Start the IV Keep Breathing Your Well of Courage Guard Primary Relationships Choose Forgiveness & Gratitude Grieve Well Sing a New Song Deploy with the Right Mindset Actions on Contact Remember Your Calling Revalidate Your Calling Comfort Others 10/12/2014 SOURCE: Page 200, Resilient Warriors, 2011, Dees www.resiliencetrilogy.com RFD LLC All Rights Reserved 36
RESILIENCE SUMMARY TRAUMA is a Reality RESILIENCE is a Necessity Invest now in yourself and others Before, During, After Not merely about human strength or grit Not by power or by might, but by My Spirit The Secret Sauce! JESUS was the ultimate Resilient Warrior & Leader And HE grants that same Resilience to His Followers 10/12/2014 RFD LLC 2013 37
RESILIENCE GOD Style Consider JESUS Calling (John 10:10b) Enemies (Matt 12:14,14a) Friends (Mark 3:13,14) God s Word (Matt 4:7) Replenishment (Matt 14:13a) Comfort to Others (Luke 23:43) Sing a New Song (2 Corin 5:17) Even on the Cross! We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not despairing; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed. 2 Corinthians 4:8, 9 Always carrying about in the body the dying of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our body. 2 Corinthians 4:10 10/12/2014 RFD LLC 38
Learning from the Past to Build for the Future? Use this tool to analyze and learn from your life experiences, building resilience for the future. 1. My Body Slam: 2. My Reactions: 3. My Thoughts: 4. My Feelings: BEFORE DURING AFTER LEARN & ADAPT 1. Was I Prepared for this life experience? 2. How could I Get Ready for this? A. B. C. 3. Did I have Actions on Contact prepared in advance? 1. How did I Weather the Storm? A. B. C. 2. What/Who were my life preservers? A. B. C. 1. Did it get worse? 2. Did I grieve the loss? (D,A,B,D, Acceptance) 3. Did I get stuck? A. Guilt? B. Anger? C. Bitterness? 4. Am I still stuck? 5. How do I get unstuck? A. New Song? B. Forgiveness? C. Renewed Purpose? REFERENCE: Resilient Warriors Advanced Study Guide, pages 13,14, 36-39 1. What did I LEARN? A. Before? B. During? C. After? 2. Did I GROW? How? A. B. C. 3. Did I ADAPT in order to Be Ready for future life traumas? 5/05/14 RFD LLC 2014 39
SESSION 4 BEING A RESILIENT LEADER
RESILIENCE TRILOGY ROADMAP Relational Emotional Spiritual Mental Physical Before During After Learn & Adapt Application Domains NATIONS LEADERS WARRIORS 5/05/14 RFD LLC 2014 41
Leadership is a Contact Sport! In the world you will have TRIBULATION, But take COURAGE, I have OVERCOME the world John 16:33 (NASB) 10/12/2014 RFD LLC 2013 42
Leadership Makes A Difference! Selfless Service Over Time From A Platform Of Character And Competence Psalm 78:72 -- So he (David) shepherded them (selfless service) According to the integrity of his heart, (character) And guided them with his skillful hands. (competence) 10/12/2014 RFD LLC 2013 43
SELFLESSNESS Above all the grace and gifts that Christ gives to His beloved is that of overcoming self. Saint Francis of Assisi 1181-1226 While competencies are important, CHARACTER is the trump card. SELFLESS SERVICE, Integrity, and Courage form a three strand cord of Character that is not easily broken. SELFLESS SERVICE is serving others without regard for self and inherently includes personal sacrifice. The proper motives of the leader directly spring from a spirit of SELFLESS SERVICE. 10/12/2014 RFD LLC 2013 44
INTEGRITY Seamless Integration of Faith, Family, and Profession into a God-honoring life message. FAMILY FAITH PROFESSION What does the Bible say? He who walks in integrity walks securely (Prov 10:9) The integrity of the upright guides them (Prov 11:3) In your teaching show integrity (Titus 2:7) Righteousness guards the men of integrity (Prov 13:6) He who walks with integrity may dwell on Your holy hill (Ps 15) 10/12/2014 RFD LLC 2013 45
COURAGE FEAR + FAITH = COURAGE Holding on 10 seconds longer PHYSICAL MENTAL SPIRITUAL EMOTIONAL RELATIONAL Chasing a Lion into a Pit on a Snowy Day -Reverend Mark Batterson Courage -Gus Lee Unbroken -Laura Hillenbrand When the Giant Lies Down -Reverend Dick Foth 5/05/14 RFD LLC 2014 46
WISDOM The Bridge between Character & Competence Transforms CHARACTER into Skillful Action (COMPETENCE) Give me now WISDOM -Solomon the acquisition of wisdom is above that of pearls. (Job 28:18) in the hidden part You will make me know wisdom. (Psalm 51:6) teach us to number our days, that we may present to You a heart of wisdom. (Psalm 90:12) Insures BALANCE and avoids FOLLY WISE LEADERS: Make Good Decisions Invest in Others Learn & Grow Wait Upon the Lord 10/12/2014 RFD LLC 2013 47
COMPETENCE the SKILL of his hands (1 of 3) Setting the Conditions (BEFORE) the leader s responsibility to do everything possible before a complex or dangerous mission to ensure successful accomplishment at a minimum of risk to personnel and other resources. (Resilient Leaders, page 181) SIMPLICITY a leader virtue, allowing communication of profound and difficult concepts which ensures necessary understanding and application. VISION a clear focus upon a future end state that propels self and others forward with expectation and perseverance. TEAM a group of interdependent players who exercise uniquely valuable functions towards the accomplishment of a shared vision and mission. REALITY Leaders who avoid bad news are condemning themselves to a fantasy world where failure to deal with reality only defers and magnifies the eventual consequences. GROWTH an essential organizational goal that prevents stagnation, leads to new opportunities and approaches, and instills a quest for continuous improvement. 10/12/2014 RFD LLC 2013 48
COMPETENCE the SKILL of his hands (2 of 3) In Extremis Leadership Positively affirm those in the crucible Let the experts do their jobs Seek historical parallels Shield subordinates Lead by example Mobilize resources (DURING) They came to Jesus and woke Him up, saying Master, Master, we are perishing! And He got up and rebuked the wind and the surging waves, and they stopped, and it became calm. Luke 8:24 Crisis defines the character of the leader. 5/05/14 RFD LLC 2014 49
Rising from the Ashes COMPETENCE the SKILL of his hands (3 of 3) (AFTER) Many times leaders want to hide during the most challenging bounce back phase, rather than facing the tough tasks of grieving, rebuilding, regaining momentum, and renewing hope. (Resilient Leaders, page 237) Rebuild the Team Underwrite Mistakes Mourn with those Who Mourn Be a Merchant of Hope Revalidate your team s Azimuth & Processes Empower Others 10/12/2014 RFD LLC 2013 50
Leader s Well of Courage Careful you do not dip too deeply into the well of courage General Dick Cavazos, U.S. Army, Retired 1. What depletes your well? 2. What refills your well? 3. How long does it take? 10/12/2014 RFD LLC 2013 51
Dipping Deeply into the Well of Courage 10/12/2014 RFD LLC 2013 52
Leader Self-Care Comprehensive Self-Care Disciplines of Replenishment Sabbath Rest Work Ending Rituals Lowering Ambient Noise Visualization ( Minute Vacations ) Spiritual Meditation PUT ON YOUR MASK FIRST! Sleep Management Personal Risk Management for Leaders HALT 10/12/2014 Beware the Bubble RFD LLC 2013 53
LEADING LIKE JESUS the ULTIMATE RESILIENT LEADER Do your troops know your voice in the dark? John 10 Do you know your troops? Mark 8 Do your troops know that you need them? John 21 FOLLOW ME! 10/12/2014 RFD LLC 2013 54
RESILIENT LEADERS Selfless Service Over Time From A Platform Of Character And Competence Leading by Learning Selflessness Courage Integrity Wisdom IN EXTREMIS LEADING & CARING 10/12/2014 LEADING LIKE JESUS www.resiliencetrilogy.com RFD LLC 2013 55
THE RESILIENCE TRILOGY Major General Bob Dees U.S. Army, Retired RFD LLC www.resiliencetrilogy.com
RESILIENT LIFE & LEADERSHIP RESILIENT WARRIORS! Bob Dees MG, U.S. Army, Retired GOD Style USMA OCT 2014 author@resiliencetrilogy.com www.resiliencetrilogy.com https://www.facebook.com/resiliencetrilogy Twitter.com/@MGBobDees Slides @ www.resiliencetrilogy.com 10/13/2014 RFD LLC 57
Make It Count! One boot in front of the other HOLLAND September 1944 Operation Market Garden I searched One for a man Boot among in them who would rebuild the front of the wall and stand in the gap before Me Other for land Ezekiel 22:30 Just Doing My Job, Sir! www.resiliencetrilogy.com 10/12/2014 RFD LLC 58
Some Familiar Terms From your Military Resilience Training MASTER RESILIENCE TRAINING SKILLS 1-12 BUILDING STRENGTH Physical Mental Spiritual Emotional Relational RESILIENCE = A LIFE SKILL Activating Events, Thoughts, and Consequences Avoid Thinking Traps Detect Icebergs Energy Management Problem-Solving Put It In Perspective Real-Time Resilience Character Strengths Strengths in Challenges Assertive Communication Active Constructive Responding and Praise Hunt the Good Stuff 10/12/2014 All Rights Reserved, RFD LLC 59