STEP FOUR: FORGIVENESS The act of pardoning or absolving, to cease to feel resentment against Self Forgiveness Acceptance Harmony Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned -Siddhartha Buddha
How do we forgive? Anger blocks your ability to forgive, distorting how you see things Gregg Braden: Being angry about something that we don t like in our world is probably not going to help change what we don t like, it may actually contribute to the very conditions we would most like to shift. Angrily protesting war for example with thousands of other people who are angrily protesting war while it serves the purpose of bringing attention to that cause, it may actually fuel into the matrix, into the field, into the fractal patterns of experience, the very anger that is the basis for the war that we would like to end. These are very, very different ways for the western mind to think about our relationship to the world, now I acknowledge that. Richard Branson: I am absolutely certain the world would be a far better place if, if it was run based more on forgiveness. How do I learn to forgive? We think of things like forgiveness and tolerance and humility as being good things we ought to do, but actually I believe they are sort of natural to humans Richard Branson: I have had the privilege of getting to know Nelson Mandela the greatest examples of people who ve learnt the art of forgiveness. 28 years in a South African jail, to be released to become President of South Africa, to forgive your captors, not only to forgive them, but to embrace them, to bring them into your party. That forgiveness resulted in a united South Africa and sent out a tremendous example to the rest of the world.
We tend to be the worst judges of ourselves What is forgiveness? Brett Moran: Well it has been a long journey to forgive myself, it didn t just happen overnight. Even when I was living you know quite a good lifestyle without drugs and without drinking I still had that guilt, but I realized that I had to let go of that guilt and that resentfulness and also forgiveness. I had to forgive myself for the acts that I had done and what I had participated in Arielle Ford: Forgive yourself for all the different ways you judge yourself, and for all those people around you that you are holding grudges against. What we find difficult to accept in others is actually the internal judgment of ourselves Brett Moran: I found it was really important for me to forgive my father because it was a behavior or a learnt behavior or a field or a pattern he was in, he never knew how to express his emotions. He never knew how to praise me enough and tell me how much of a good child I was. Because maybe he never had it in the past himself. So forgiving him and letting go of all that unwanted energy, it helped me move forward Arielle Ford: Forgive yourself for anything you believe you have done wrong in the area of relationships and forgive anybody that you judge as having harmed you.
Once you forgive your internal judgments they disappear You are set free From this moment on each reactive moment can be embraced as an opportunity to learn and grow Mandela went into jail as really the World s number one terrorist in 1963; he campaigned for six years to be allowed to have a garden. And eventually after six years, this was quite late on in his incarceration, he was allowed a plot I think it was one meter by 7 meters. He got some seeds and he planted his garden. All under the very critical eye of the warders. What did he do? The first vegetables he grew courgettes, tomatoes and cucumbers I think. He gave to the warders. Karmapa: I think its forgiveness, understanding, tolerance, patience, compassion, these play immense roles in order to bring real peace. Outer Peace as well as Inner Peace. It s a must actually. And the good news actually is that all of us have it. In my experience human beings are basically generous and have integrity. But things happen to us when we are very small, possibly even in the womb that damage us and can make us into, and make us do horrific things. However those traits of generosity and humility and compassion are innate. They are there in everybody. It is just a question of finding them. And that is the genius of the great peace builders and the great mediators is that never mind who they are talking to, whether it is a serial killer or somebody who has tortured people, they will still seek the goodness within that person and they will find it if they look for it.
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