FAMILY EMPOWERED EVENT

FAMILY EMPOWERED EVENT COORDINATOR S GUIDE

FAMILY EMPOWERED EVENT: GROW Published by David C Cook 4050 Lee Vance View Colorado Springs, CO 80918 U.S.A. David C Cook Distribution Canada 55 Woodslee Avenue, Paris, Ontario, Canada N3L 3E5 David C Cook U.K., Kingsway Communications Eastbourne, East Sussex BN23 6NT, England David C Cook and the graphic circle C logo are registered trademarks of Cook Communications Ministries. All rights reserved. Except for brief excerpts for review purposes, no part of this guide may be reproduced or used in any form apart from an active Tru Membership without written permission from the publisher. The website addresses recommended throughout this book are offered as a resource to you. These websites are not intended in any way to be or imply an endorsement on the part of David C Cook, nor do we vouch for their content. Unless otherwise noted, all Scripture quotations are taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version, NIV. Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984 by Biblica, Inc. TM Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide. www.zondervan.com. 2013 David C Cook 1

TABLE OF CONTENTS INSPIRE EQUIP SUPPORT Grow Parent Event PHILOSOPHY & VISION PREPARING FOR THE EVENT Timeline of Events Grow family Event PHILOSOPHY & VISION PREPARING FOR THE EVENT Timeline of Events 3 3 4 5 6 7 9 14 15 15 17 WHAT IS IN THIS RESOURCE This resource includes step-by-step outlines for you to host two events: a Grow Parent Event and a Grow Family Event. In each of the two sections of the guide, you will find the values and vision for the event, what you need to prepare, and a sample timeline you can use as a guideline. In the included Resource Folder, you will find promotional materials, pamphlets, slides, videos, and more to bring each event to life. 2

INSPIRE, EQUIP, SUPPORT INSPIRE On the back of the pantry door in my mom s kitchen is a series of lines, names, and dates. What may look like a mess at first glance is actually a record of months and years in the lives of our family members, each line marking our height as we grew older and taller. It has been a tradition for as long as I can remember to measure each other on this door at various family gatherings so long, in fact that I can now see where my own children are in comparison to where I was at the same age. The marks on the pantry door are a physical reminder to me, not just of what has passed, but of what is yet to come. Each mark is a reminder that my children are constantly growing and changing. But growth is not limited to the physical. Over the next few years, my children will mature and make decisions about spirituality that will impact eternity. In the same way that I have a responsibility to nurture and provide for my children s physical needs, I am responsible for cultivating an environment that allows them to build a healthy spirituality one where they are deeply connected with Christ. Grow is an opportunity for the families in your ministry to learn how to create an environment in their homes that will help cultivate healthy spiritual growth. Grow is an experience that will equip parents to help guide their children toward a life-changing relationship with Jesus Christ. Alyson Crocket Tru Team EQUIP Spiritual growth is a foundational principle to the Christian life. In the same way that our physical bodies must grow to maturity, we are exhorted in Scripture to grow our souls, rooted deeply in the life-saving knowledge of Jesus Christ. In Luke 8, Jesus speaks to His followers in a parable that emphasizes the importance of healthy spiritual growth: A farmer went out to sow his seed. As he was scattering the seed, some fell along the path; it was trampled on, and the birds ate it up. Some fell on rocky ground, and when it came up, the plants withered because they had no moisture. Other seed fell among thorns, which grew up with it and choked the plants. Still other seed fell on good soil. It came up and yielded a crop, a hundred times more than was sown. (Luke 8:5 8) When the disciples questioned Jesus regarding the story, His response to them was as follows: This is the meaning of the parable: The seed is the word of God. Those along the path are the ones who hear, and then the devil comes and takes away the word from their hearts, so that they may not believe and be saved. Those on the rocky ground are the ones who receive the word with joy when they hear it, but they have no root. They believe for a while, but in the time of 3

testing they fall away. The seed that fell among thorns stands for those who hear, but as they go on their way they are choked by life s worries, riches and pleasures, and they do not mature. But the seed on good soil stands for those with a noble and good heart, who hear the word, retain it, and by persevering produce a crop. (Luke 8:11 15) God has chosen family as the primary place to grow faith (see Psalm 78:2 8). It is the role of parents to prepare good soil for their children. This happens when we create environments in our homes that God can use to grow deep roots of vibrant faith in Christ. As we create these spiritual spaces in our everyday lives, our children can grow to maturity and ultimately bear fruit that has the potential to change not just their own generation, but the ones to come. SUPPORT For this reason, since the day we heard about you, we have not stopped praying for you. We continually ask God to fill you with the knowledge of his will through all the wisdom and understanding that the Spirit gives, so that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and please him in every way: bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God, being strengthened with all power according to his glorious might so that you may have great endurance and patience, and giving joyful thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of his holy people in the kingdom of light. For he has rescued us from the dominion of darkness and brought us into the kingdom of the Son he loves, in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins. (Colossians 1:9 11) Paul wrote the book of Colossians to teach and encourage growth among those who were part of the church at Colossae. At the time, many in the church were being drawn away from truth and falling prey to Gnosticism and other pagan practices. Paul recognized that the solution to their problem was spiritual growth. He recognized the part the Holy Spirit plays in the spiritual growth of believers and prayed for the Holy Spirit s activity in the lives of those who were part of the church. Growing ministries are led by growing leaders. As you prepare for your Family Empowered Events, spend some time meditating on the areas of your life where you may need the active presence of the Holy Spirit to spur you on to growth. Spend some time asking God to show you the areas of your own life where growth is needed and pray for the Holy Spirit to do a work in your heart as you prepare these events for those you are ministering to. 4

FAMILY EMPOWERED PARENT EVENT

the Grow Parent Event PHILOSOPHY & VISION OF the Grow Parent Event When the parenting focus is solely on controlling behavior and dealing with the daily grind, parents and caregivers often find themselves disappointed and exhausted. God s call is not to mold the smartest, most athletic, and most compliant children but to create an environment God can use to transform hearts. As parents learn to shift their focus from the physical here and now to the nurture of their children s hearts and faith, parenting becomes an exciting and rewarding experience. There is nothing more beautiful than watching God grow the heart of a child. The goal of the Grow Parent Event is to equip parents and caregivers with a perspective of nurturing their children s faith for the sake of God s big story and letting the things of earth grow strangely dim in the light of His glory and grace ( Turn Your Eyes Upon Jesus, Helen H. Lemmel, 1922). WHY Grow? The Grow Parent Event is designed to equip parents as the spiritual leaders of their homes. Some of your parents may be new to the idea of spiritual parenting (see Spiritual Parenting by Michelle Anthony) and the Grow Parent Event offers a great entry point into understanding what it means to create space for the Holy Spirit to nurture their children. For parents who have been through the Spiritual Parenting class or who have read the book, the Grow Parent Event is a fresh encouragement offering further equipping as they walk out their role as parents. Through a variety of mediums and fun learning experiences, parents and caregivers will learn what it means to change their focus from looking for approval and advice from those around them, to looking up and seeing how God is working in the lives of their children every day. 6

Preparing for the Event Special Considerations What day should we hold our event? The Grow Parent Event can be held at any time during the year. Try to choose a day of the week that works best for your families. Generally speaking, a weekend morning, afternoon, or evening will work best for families with young children if your church plans to provide childcare. A weeknight can also work well if you expect parents to secure their own childcare. Where should we hold our event? Choose a location that will accommodate your church group. For some, that might be your church sanctuary or a multi-purpose room. For others it could be a community center or other venue. Be sure to consider a location for childcare if you plan to provide this service to your parents during the event. What time should we hold our Grow Parent Event? Our Grow timeline suggests an evening from 7:00 to 8:30 p.m. When planning your event, consider your audience. If you have young families and you plan to provide childcare, it might be best to start earlier in the evening to accommodate early bedtimes, or maybe choose an afternoon. Our sample also includes dessert, but you may choose to provide dinner or ask parents to contribute to a potluck. You know your audience best, so do what will be most fun and helpful for your particular community! Who should we invite to the Grow Parent Event? The Grow Parent Event is appropriate for all of the adults in your faith community. The information presented in the event is relevant for those who are parents, parents-to-be, considering having children, or who are grandparents looking to encourage their own adult children as they navigate the waters of parenting themselves. 7

BEFORE YOUR EVENT 3 6 MONTHS AHEAD Reserve and book the room or location where the event will be held. 2 MONTHS AHEAD Recruit teams from within your staff or ministry to help with various aspects of the event. 1 MONTH AHEAD Send out invitations to parents (see the Resource Folder for promotional materials). Begin advertising for the event in the church bulletin, website, and email updates so parents can prepare and get excited. Announce the event in church in adult services. 3 WEEKS AHEAD Pass out fliers in weekend services to remind parents of the upcoming event (see the Resource Folder for promotional materials). DAY OF THE EVENT Set Up Set up tables and chairs. Use decorations as desired to create a comfortable atmosphere. Place Dear God cards, sticky notes, pens, and poster board on each table along with Grow pamphlets for each person. Supplies Poster board, divided and marked for lower story and upper story Sticky notes Dear God cards (see the Resource Folder for printable copy) Grow pamphlets (see the Resource Folder for printable copy) Pop Goes the Culture game cards and slides for host (see the Resource Folder ) Ice Breaker Question slides (see the Resource Folder ) Cataclysm Video (see Resource Folder) 2 Corinthians 5:14-21 slide (see Resource Folder) Follow up postcards (see Resource Folder) 8

TIMELINE OF EVENTS This is a suggested timeline of events. Some segments may run shorter or longer by a couple of minutes, the time frames given are approximations. Feel free to use the outline as is or adjust the schedule to fit the personality and needs of your particular group. 7:00 p.m. Arrival Be sure to have enough volunteers available to greet your attendees. If your church has chosen to provide dessert, direct guests to the dessert and coffee table. Allow your guests to mingle with one another and invite them to use the ice-breaker questions to get to know those they are sitting with. 7:05 p.m. Welcome Welcome your guests and give them an overview of your event. Welcome to the Grow Parent Event. We re excited to have you here and we re looking forward to the ways we will grow as individuals and as spiritual parents and caregivers through our time together this evening. In Luke 8, Jesus told a story about growth. He spoke of a farmer who scattered seed. Some of the seed, He said, fell along the path and was trampled. Other seed fell on rocky ground where it withered. Some fell among thorns and was choked out. But some of the seed fell on good soil. The seed in the good soil thrived yielding an incredible crop, a hundred times more than what was sown. Tonight s event is about cultivating healthy spiritual growth in our families. We are going to learn about the call on our lives to cultivate good soil for our children so their hearts may be prepared to receive the Word of God. Our hope is that you will leave here this evening with the tools to create space in your home for the Holy Spirit to deeply root the hope of the gospel in the hearts of your children. Lead everyone in an opening prayer. Sample Prayer: God, we thank You for what You will do in our midst this evening. As we look to You to cultivate healthy spiritual growth in our families, we ask You to guide us and direct each part of our time together this evening. In Jesus name, amen. 7:10 Cataclysm video 9

7:15 The Gospel Message and Spiritual Growth (Upper and Lower Story) The gospel message is a beautiful story of redemption. It is God s story worked out in each of our lives. It is the story of what happens when we allow our hearts to be like the good soil of Luke 8. When God s message of hope and salvation is rooted deeply in our hearts, it changes our perspective on everything. Growth happens when, as the author in the video aptly stated, the terrestrial and celestial coincide when we begin to view our circumstances through the lens of God s purpose and plan for our lives. Author and pastor Randy Frazee talks about it in terms of an upper and lower story (The Heart of the Story: God s Masterful Design to Restore His People. Zondervan 2011.) His idea is that, basically, to understand the Bible, you need bifocal lenses, because two perspectives are involved. The lower story, our story, is actually many stories of men and women interacting with God in the daily course of life. The upper story is God s story, the tale of His great, overarching purpose that fits all the individual stories together like panels in one unified mural. Lower story parenting focuses on circumstances and external behaviors. It is concerned with the daily grind packing lunches, breaking up sibling squabbles, and getting Johnny to do his homework. When we parent from the lower story alone, the temptation is to want our children to look and act a certain way. Our goals for our kids come from the culture and opinions around us; we can drive our kids to be number one in everything, perform, succeed, look good, and sound good. Unfortunately, what can often happen is that we ignore our children s hearts and allow them to navigate the fallen world around them on their own never imagining that God may have something larger planned for them. Many children who are only parented from the lower story will grow up with hearts of rocky ground, never growing deep roots of faith. To foster healthy spiritual growth in our children, we must do our best to parent through the lens of God s upper story, never losing sight of the fact that God is at work in the lives of our children. Upper story parenting emphasizes God s overarching narrative in each of our lives one that provides opportunity for grace, hope, peace, and reconciliation. When we parent through an upper story lens, we take time to delve behind the behaviors into the hearts of our children. We spend time listening both to our kids and to the Holy Spirit. Our focus is long-term and big-picture. We are helping our children find their place in God s grand narrative and nurturing an identity rooted in far more than their own performance. 7:20 p.m. Table Exercise Upper/Lower Story Parenting Family life lived in the upper story looks very different from life in the lower story. On your tables you have some sticky notes and a poster board marked upper story on one half and lower story on the other. Working with those at your table, think of some words to describe ideas that are often reinforced in the lives of our children when we parent from these perspectives. Write those words and phrases on the sticky notes and attach them in the lower or upper story portion of the poster board. 10

Example: Lower: look good, succeed, be happy and comfortable, perform, win or fail, judgment, doubt, anxiety Upper: there s a bigger story, there s grace, someone cares about who I am, my life is about something bigger than being happy and comfortable, freedom, purpose, acceptance 7:25 p.m. Debrief Table Exercise What are some of the words or phrases you came up with for life in the lower story? (Allow answers from the floor, prompting when necessary.) What is different about parenting with an upper story focus? (Again, allow answers from the floor and prompt if necessary.) 7:30 p.m. Ambassadors Take a second look at the words that represent the impact our parenting focus can have on the spiritual growth of our children. Many of the lower story words represent worldly wisdom and ultimately, bondage. God s call is for us to be messengers of His upper story in the lives of our children. With your table, read 2 Corinthians 5:14 21 (see the Resource Folder for a slide of the passage). Spend a few minutes discussing the following questions: What does this passage say about God s upper story? What happens when we are in Christ? What important job does God give us once we are in Christ? How does this relate to our lives as parents? After each table has had time to discuss their answers to these questions, debrief answers in the large group. 7:45 p.m. Pop Goes the Culture Game A critical part of being gospel ambassadors is understanding the culture of those we are ministering to. As spiritual parents, preparing good soil for our children requires first understanding the lower story in which they live. We ve provided some questions as samples. Consider writing your own pop culture quiz questions for added relevance and fun! This game is a fun way to connect with the current state of the world our children are growing up in. This game can be modified to fit the needs of your specific gathering. 11

For a men-vs.-women game, ask for one or more male volunteers and one or more female volunteers from your audience. Explain that you are going to play a trivia game. Provide the contestants with paper or index cards and a pen to write down their answers. Or you may choose to just have them speak answers in front of the audience, alternating between questions. Questions: 1. How many people make up the band One Direction? Five: Niall Horan, Zayn Malik, Liam Payne, Harry Styles, and Louis Tomlinson 2. What was the 2013 Oscar winner for best picture of the year? Argo 3. What popular children s show features a colorful cast of characters who go by the names Muno, Plex, Foofa, Toodee, Brobee and DJ Lance Rock? Yo Gabba Gabba 4. According to Forbes.com, who is the highest paid professional athlete of all time? Tiger Woods, making $115 million in just one year 5. How many text messages does the average teenager send per month? 3,839 6. What does the acronym YOLO stand for? You Only Live Once 7. According to a 2011 study, what is the average age for kids to get their first cell phone? 7 8. What best actress nominee starred as Katniss in the Hunger Games movie? Jennifer Lawrence 9. What popular television show features a time machine spacecraft that doubles as a police call box? Dr. Who 10. Which popular teen book and movie franchise features a love triangle between a girl, a vampire, and a werewolf? Twilight 11. How many tweets are sent every day? 290 million 12. Who is the host of American Idol? Ryan Seacrest 13. What is the longest running Disney channel show of all time? Wizards of Waverly Place with 106 episodes 14. How old is Justin Bieber? 19: born March 1, 1994 15. How many hours are spent per month on You Tube? 2.9 billion that s 325,000 days! This pop-culture quiz provides helpful insight into the world our children are growing up in and the messages they receive from the media and entertainment industry on a regular basis. 8:00 p.m. Table Talk: Family Is Primary We know from Scripture that God has ordained family as the primary place of spiritual formation. It is not just a joy and an honor to lead our children toward faith, it is our God-given responsibility. Partner with one or two people around you. Read Psalm 78:2 8. What does this passage say about our role as parents? What is God s desire for faith in the context of family? Allow time for table discussion. God s desire is for faith to be generational. Our job as parents is to weave the upper story of God s overarching plan into the everyday lives of our children through our conversations and experiences. We must be living examples of what it means to live in the light of the gospel message. As we do this, we embrace our role as spiritual parents the great call on our lives to prepare good soil in the lives of our children. 12

8:15 p.m. Response On your table are some response cards. The top of the card says, Dear God Now is your chance to take a moment and unpack some of what God is teaching you about spiritual parenting. As you think about the lower story your children are living in, what can you do to keep God s upper story central to your family life? Take a few moments and write a response to God. Allow a few minutes for writing of responses. (Resource: Dear God cards) 8:30 p.m. Closing & Blessing Thank you so much for being a part of our Grow Parent Event. I encourage you to leave your response card in your Bible and regularly pray through God s upper story for your family. If the idea of parenting from an upper story perspective is new to you, we have some resources listed on the back of your handout that will help you as you cultivate an environment for healthy spiritual growth in your family. Highlight the resources most applicable to your ministry. As we close our time tonight, may the seeds of your own faith continue to grow. May you continue to prepare good soil for your children impacting your family with the hope of the gospel message, and keeping your eyes fixed on God s upper story of grace, hope, peace, and redemption in a fallen world. FOLLOW UP Supplies Follow-up postcard (see the Resource Folder) Send a follow-up postcard from the Grow Parent Event to remind families to continue to focus on God s upper story as they cultivate their children s faith. 13