Topic: Abstract: The Obstacles Faced as a Single Mother I never thought that I would be in a situation like this. I was pregnant. In less than nine months, I had to quit my job, drop out of school, move back in with my parents, and deal with the disappointments of not being able to find work. Being a single mother who had to raise her daughter by herself, I turned to the state to receive assistance, but not even the money they gave us was able to cover our expenses. Facing all these obstacles, I could only hope for the best and prayed that someday I would be able to care for my family on my own. Key Words: Single Mother, Recession, Welfare, Unemployment, Student, Education, Survival The Obstacles I Faced As A Single Mother Never did I think I would be the girl to get pregnant at such a young age. Being a full time student and working part time, I thought I had a heavy load. Little did I know, having a child would be my biggest load yet, not only time and patient wise but financially as well. I was in for the biggest ride for my life because not only was I going to be a single parent, I faced the challenges of moving back home, dealing with the upsets of my parents, and asking help from somewhere I never thought I would. I was in for a world of obstacles but only hoped I could make the best out of each situation. When I first found out that I was pregnant, I had a house in Fresno, going to school and working full time. Dance took over my life and I tried to fit it in anytime I could. I was a busy girl living the life I always thought I would. I swear the day I found out I was pregnant, I must
have took like 20 of those pee stick tests. Still in disbelief, I continued on with my day and headed to dance practice feeling nauseated and confused. I set up an appointment the following day and found out for sure that I was indeed pregnant. Having such a strong religious background, it was going to be the hardest part of being pregnant. I had called my mom one night and told her about it because I was lost and didn t know whether I wanted to go though with the pregnancy or give the baby up for adoption. Abortion was totally out of the picture! Hearing the thoughts and words from my mom, I found myself following the same exact footsteps as her. I prepared myself for a weekend that was hard to get around. I knew there was no way to pass up telling my dad that I was pregnant because he was going to find out eventually. Now my dad being the strict father that he is and very closed-minded was about to be in for a rude awakening. I came home, hung out with friends and went to the movies trying to forget what I really came down for but one night when it was just my parents and I, the words just slipped out and all hell broke loose. My dad was so disappointed in me and like me was still in disbelief. I must have told him that I was pregnant when I was about five to six months pregnant. Even then he called every doctor out there to try and find someone that still did abortions at five to six months even though it was at high risk for the baby and I. My dad just had to accept that I was going to go through with this pregnancy and there was nothing that was going to stop me. Knowing that I could not do this on my own, I had to move back in with my parents. The baby daddy did not want anything to do with this and agreed too that I should get an abortion. He said he had enough to deal with and didn t want to carry on another burden, so I knew that this was MY responsibility. Seeing my stomach grow and hearing the heart beat every month, I knew this child was going to be mine. I could not go through with adoption. It would be too hard and
painful and I am not that person where I can just give up something that has been growing inside of me for nine months. So I moved back home, quit school for a bit and started looking for work again. Of course being in such a small town, there were no jobs and no one would hire someone that was six months pregnant. I had then thought to myself that I was screwed. Times have changed and jobs aren t as easy to find as they were when I was younger. We were still in a recession and I saw everything just crumbling down in my life. No jobs equaled no money for me let alone a baby. How was I going to support myself? How was I going to support a newborn child? Babies are not cheap. You have to think about food, clothes, diapers and wipes, a crib for them to lie in. What have I got myself into? Was I really making a right choice by keeping this baby? I knew I needed to figure a solution out and as fast as I could because the baby was not going to wait for me to do so. She was coming fast whether I wanted her to or not. I was lucky enough to be covered by my mom s insurance, so I knew I was going to be able to deliver where I wanted to, but as for the other things like diapers and wipes, I knew I needed help. Of course having a baby shower was a little bit of a help, but the things I got there were only going to last so long. If I wanted to keep this baby, I knew I had to the unthinkable and beg the state for assistance so I can support my daughter. Looking back to when I was younger, I never knew what aide was. I remember finding out what it was when I had got my first couple jobs. The money that they were taking out of my check was money for the people on welfare. I was upset with these people who needed this money and thought to myself I would never be in their situation. Hell, I thought I was never going to have a baby till I was older. Guess things do not always go as planned. I did some research on the welfare office and headed straight down there to see if I can even get into the
system. I took my mom with me and as we walked in it felt like all eyes were on us. We were the only light skinned people there and the people there looked at us as if we should not even be there. I guess appearances do not tell the full story of somebody. I was there because I had to be, not because I wanted to be! If I could have gotten a job to help support my baby and I, I would have. I didn t want to be a person who tries to override the system and try to get a dollar to buy cigarettes or booze. I needed it so we could survive. I filled out an application, turned it in, and the lady at the desk said they would review it to see if I qualified. I didn t receive a call till two months later. I came in and talked to a worker that had then given me more paperwork to fill out and turn in. When everything finally had been completed, I was then in the system to receive some money. The fight for them to even consider me took, I think, a good amount of time, but what I hear from others it still takes a bigger amount of time. I knew I should be grateful for the money that I got, but it was barely enough to cover rent and a little bit of food on the table. Luckily, I have a close and great bond with my mom that she is willing to help me with any thing that she can. It was the beginning of March and I finally delivered a little baby girl. It had to be one of the happiest moments of my life, but I was still a little concerned on the future held for us. Was I going to be able to support her with the aide that I was receiving? Was I going to be able to go back to work, yet find a job for that matter? To school? How was I going to be able to pay for school? All of these questions clouded my mind. I was still wondering if I was making the right decision by bringing a baby in a recession. What was this world coming to? Did I really want to raise my baby under these circumstances? I never thought my mind and body would be in a situation like this. It was a hard time for me and many others that were stuck in a situation like mine; no money, no jobs, no money to go to school (to get a better education so you could have a
better paying job). Many people fight these situations everyday. It is like a lose-lose situation. If you find a job, it will probably be at a fast food restaurant making minimum wage with crappy hours. If you go to school, the prices have sky rocketed, so good luck finding money to pay for your classes; that is if you can even get into the classes you need. And if you graduate, good luck finding a job that is actually hiring or that is hiring but at a low salary. The world right now is not in a good place and has people searching and begging for any kind of survival. Will this world ever change? I would like to think that we are on our way to having more job opportunities but I have been saying that for almost two years now. I want to be able to have a job and earn my own money. I want to make a good life for my daughter and fight for what I believe in. School has become even more important to be and I want to graduate. I want to peruse my dream and become a teacher someday. Hopefully jobs will be more in demand when I finish school. I want our economy to go back to where it used to be, where there were jobs and people were not fighting to be on welfare. Thankfully I have found a job recently, but just as an on-call sub. It s not a sturdy job, but it s a start. Yes, I still receive aide because I cannot live on the income that always changes from when I work. But I do have hope that I can finally step out of this recession and the stress that it has put on my family and I.