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From the book: Adab as-suhbah wal-akhoowa wa Muashara al-khalq Mannerisms of Companionship, Brotherhood and Living amongst people Taught by: Shaykh Abdullaah Mar aee bin Barayk Recorded from: 2nd Miraath al-anbiyya Shaari'ah Course 2011 Copyright www.miraath.net 2
Mannerisms of Companionship, brotherhood, and living amongst people 1 The Shaykh began with the Khutbatul Haajah. Indeed, all praise is due to Allaah. (subhaanahu wa ta ala) We praise Him as He deserves to be praised. We ask for His Aid, His Assistance, and we seek His Forgiveness. We seek refuge with Allaah from the evil of our own souls and from the evil of our wicked actions. Whomsoever Allaah (subhaanahu wa ta ala) g u i d e s, then n one can misguide. Whomsoever Allaah (subhaanahu wa ta ala) misguides then none can guide. I testify that none has the right to be worshipped in truth except Allaah (subhaanahu wa ta ala) Alone, without any partners. And I testify that Muhammad (sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam) is His Slave and His Messenger. 1 Transcribed: Umm AbdurRahmaan Saleha bint Ahmed Motala. Shaban 1432/July 2011.Updated Shawwal 1435/ August 2014. Recorded by Miraath.net for the second Miraath.net Conference Rabi al Awwal 1432/ March 2011 Talk edited where necessary for accuracy and references added. http://www.miraathpublications.net/mannerisms-of-companionship-brotherhood-and-living-amongstpeople/ 3
To proceed: Our Shaykh Abu AbdurRahmaan Abdullaah ibn Umar al Adani (hafidhahullaah) started by saying first of all with the bismillaah, praising Allaah (subhaanahu wa ta ala) and bearing witness that none has the right to be worshipped in truth except Allaah who has no partners and bearing witness that the Prophet Muhammed ﷺ is His Slave and Messenger. He said, as for what follows, we will continue to read the book Mukhtasir Minhaj al Qasideen from Imam Ahmed Ibn AbdurRahmaan Ibn Qudaymah al-maqdasi (rahimahullaah, May Allaah s Mercy be upon him): The chapter of Behaviour of Companionship and Interacting with the People. The Shaykh went on to read the words of the author where he said, And know whoever is loved for the sake of Allaah is also disliked or hated for the sake of Allaah. For verily, if you love a human being because he is obeying Allaah, verily you will dislike him if he disobeys Allaah because if you love a person for a reason, if the opposite of this reason was to become absent then you will dislike him for that. So, if the two characteristics; meaning the praiseworthy ones or the blameworthy ones are to be present in a person, then you will love this person from some aspects and dislike him from other aspects. Therefore, it is upon you to love the Muslim for his Islaam but to dislike him for his disobedience to Allaah (subhaanahu wa ta ala). So in this case, you will have a medium and a middle path for your relationships with him. You will not refrain from him totally as you will not completely open with him. And he said, as far as the matters are concerned that come about from your muslim brother that are shortcomings and falling into sin but you know that he regrets this. Then you should basically hide this, overlook that, and help the person to get over it. But if the person persists upon that sin, then you should start showing signs of disliking him, maybe hating him and turning away from him and taking a distance from him. Also, have firm and severe speech with him and all of this is in accordance to the severity of the sin that he has fallen into. So, our Shaykh Abdullaah (hafidhahullaah) went on to comment that this is an introduction from the author as a foreword for what is going to come up in this chapter. In this chapter where he will be mentioning very important topics the muslim needs to understand for his daily interaction with people, and the student of knowledge more particularly, and a Salafi even more particularly. So the author (rahimahullaah) indicated that love for Allah as well as hatred or disliking for a person for Allaah can both be present at the same time for one individual. This is for whenever the causes of those two opposite matters are present in this individual. For the cause that implies love is the obedience of Allaah (subhaanahu wa ta ala) and the cause that brings about hatred is the disobedience of Allaah. So he clarified that the fact 4
that these two characteristics are present in one same individual necessitates that you act with wisdom and that you apply the rules of the sharee ah in these matters. So we shall mention in detail, how this is supposed to be done as we go through this chapter. We can mention, as an introduction that the people, as far as love and hate is concerned has to be classified into three categories. 1. The first one; the people who have to be loved. So this love is the basic principle and ruling that is applied to these people. An individual from this category has to be loved as a principle ruling because he is a person who has the character of obedience to Allaah in righteousness. However, sometimes some things that come from the person causes hatred or dislike that might come up in the form of shortcomings from this person as a mistake but it is known from the situation of this person and his honesty that he regrets this. So, in this case as the author (rahimahullaah) said we should overlook this and conceal it. For this concealing takes place first by not exposing the person nor revealing what has happened to other people. Also, refrain from mentioning this to this person in a way that will hurt him. This does not mean that you should not advise the person. Rather, you should advise this person with love and good behaviour and gentleness and kindness in order for you to help this person and help your own self to stay on the path of obedience to Allaah. Also, to preserve this love and brotherhood that is amongst you. So this is the general ruling that is applied for the believer that is known for taqwa and the Sunni who is known for righteousness and integrity. 2. The second category of person- the person who falls into sin but he does not regret it. He stubbornly perseveres upon this sin. Therefore, this type needs to be dealt with firmly and with severity if you know that there is benefit in doing so. As the author (rahimahullaah) said, if he perseveres in this sin then one must show signs of hatred and turn away from him and take distance and have severe words with him. The severity employed is proportioned to the severity of the sin. So, in this case we take three things into consideration; (i) (ii) (iii) First of all the type of sin and severity. The level of stubbornness and perseverance this person is showing on this sin. Choosing the right remedy that will have a positive effect with this person. 5
For verily, some type of people will only increase in sin and stubbornness and turn further away from the right path if you treat them severely. So in this case, we have to deal with them in a different way because our objective is to correct the fault not to increase the fault. So we have to make sure that we act in the most appropriate way with the people. More will be mentioned in the topics of this chapter, inshaa Allaah. 3. The third type of people- is the person who is mainly into sin. He has mainly causes of hatred with him. So he has some causes of love and righteousness but the cause of hate and sins overcome them. So the basic ruling with this type of person that we have to beware of him (them) and we turn away from him (them) and take distance from him (them). But this does not mean that we neglect them totally. Rather, in a distant manner we deal with him in a way that we believe and hope to be of benefit for him to correct his matter. Because this is from the rights of the Muslims upon each other. Advising one another and advising the person who has made the mistake as well as the sinner and the lost one who has gone astray, in order for them to return to the truth inshaa Allaah. You will bring about the greatest benefit and will repel the worst evil as we will mention in shaa Allaah wa ta ala. Shaykh Abdullaah continued reading and explaining the words of the author. The person contradicting the order of Allaah is also of different categories; (i) (ii) One of them is the kafir (disbeliever) - the harbi one at war with the Muslim. So if this kafir is a horrible kafir then he deserves to be killed or to be taken prisoner. There is no worse humiliation then those two things. But if he is a dhimmi 2 (not at war) then it is no way permissible to harm him in anyway except by turning away from him and belittling him and forcing him to take the narrowest path and also not start off giving him salaams. Meaning not to be the first person to say asalaamu alaykum to him. So, if he says to you asalaamu alaykum, then you reply to him by saying wa alayka and the basic ruling is that you should refrain from mixing with him and also interacting with him or eating with him. It is disliked to have companionship that is comparable to a companionship or friendship with him. So, Shaykh Abdullaah (hafidhahullaah) went on to comment that first of all the author here mentions the people who oppose Allaah s order and they are three categories. So first of all, look how the scholars make distinction in these types of affairs according to their realities and they mention precise rulings for each situation, so that these matters are put into practice correctly in accordance to our sharee ah based upon knowledge and correct understanding and in order to reach the intended goal. 2 The non-muslim living under the protection of the Islamic government. Refer to the glossary of The Nobel Qur aan Khan and Hilaalee translation Dar us Salaam Publication. 6
For the first category is the kafir. Then he split this first category into two categories. (i) (ii) The first one the harbi - and the harbi, meaning that he is a kafir who is at war with the Muslims and he is taking part in this war. The second the non-harbi -meaning the second category the kafir who is not at war with the muslims and the author mentions like the dhimmi- and Shaykh Abdullaah mentions this is an example because there are also three categories of kuffar that are not at war with the muslims; it s the dhimmi, mu aahad, mustaa mul. All these three categories fall under the main category of non-harbi kafir. So, the harbi is the one that is at war with the muslim, or his country is at war with the Muslims and he takes part in this war. So understand that if a country or a state is at war with the Muslims, this does not imply that all the individuals from that state or country fall under that category of harbi kafir. Making that sort of generalization like saying that this country is at war with the Muslims meaning that every single individual of this country is considered a harbi, this is not correct. For verily, now a days we have some deviant people who follow the path of the Khawaarij in our day and age from the people of takfeer and others that call and are linked to terrorism and those sort of activities. They went astray on this matter based upon the fiqh (understanding) of these issues they declared the wealth, the blood and the honour of all the kuffar to be halaal without right. For verily, even the harbi kafir that takes part in the war against the Muslim. If he was to enter the lands of the muslims by amman ; meaning a muslim would give him personal protection or the muslim ruler gives authorization to this kafir to enter the muslim country, if there is some sort of benefit in doing so. In this case, this harbi kafir who was fighting the Muslims would be under the safety and protection of the Muslims. An example of this, we mention the story of Hudaybiyyah where the kuffar of the Qur aish who were all harbi kuffar- they had a pact /a peace treaty an agreement with the muslims entering this period even if it was temporary. Their lives, their wealth and their honours were preserved. This goes also if a man grants safety to any kafir like the Prophet ﷺMuhammed said to Umm Hani, The person you have taken under your protection is also under our protection oh Umm Hani, 3 She gave ammaan (safety) to a man who was like a harbi. So these matters have to be taken into consideration. The harbi can fall into categories of exception according to the situation if benefit is linked with or they enter into the Muslim lands with amman (safety). As we said, individuals as well as groups can fall into / under exceptions if 3 Saheeh al-bukharee 7
there is some sort of benefit for the Muslims in this by making a peace treaty or matters linked to da wah. So understand if this goes for the harbi kafir who is basically fighting the Muslim then what to say of the people living in the lands of the kuffar like women and children that are not at all linked to fight. So none should transgress against them. For verily, the Prophet ﷺMuhammed during the war forbade the killing of women and children as this has been authentically reported in Saheeh al Bukhari. So if he is a harbi he deserves to be killed with the condition that he is an adult like this has also been exposed in the Sunnah, captivity is to be applied to non fighters. So, the author explains that this is all from the hatred that has to be shown to the kafir. The point here is not to go into great details concerning these matters but we want to understand the differentiation that has to be made for these categories and to understand the precise rulings that are linked to our matter here the behaviour of companionship and brotherhood. So now, concerning what the author has mentioned concerning the dhimmi kafir. So he is one of those that does not enter into the harbi kafir (at war with the muslims). The dhimmi, mu aahad, mustaa mul all of these are forbidden to be killed as has been,ﷺ authentically reported from the Prophet Muhammed Whoever kills a dhimmi then he will not smell the smell of paradise. 4 And there are many other ahadeeth that indicate that meaning and they are also applicable for the mustaa mul and the mu aahad. As we have mentioned the story of Umm Hani which is authentically reported in the Saheeh. What happened in this story is that Ali (radiyallaahu anhu) wanted to kill a man from the mushrikeen (polytheists) of the Qur aish on the Day of the Conquest of Makkah. So Umm Hani had taken this man under her protection as she was one of the Muslim women who had entered Makkah at the time and so she went to the Prophet ﷺMuhammed to complain about Ali s (radiyallaahu anhu) intentions. So the Prophet ﷺ told her, We have taken under our protection whoever you have taken under your protection oh Umm Hani. 4 Saheeh al-bukharee Refer to Book of Jihaad 8
So, this goes also for the dhimmi and the mu aahad, meaning the dhimmi he is the one who pays the jiziyyah to the Muslims like Allaah said, ح ى ت ي عط وا اجل زي ة ع ن ي د و ه م صاغ رون ٩٢ Up until they hand over the jiziyyah while being in a state of humiliation. 5 So, if they do so they cannot be killed or harmed. Then the mu aahad he is the one who has a pledge or a pact with the Muslims. Like the kuffar of Hudaybiyyah which was the peace treaty done in this place called Hudaybiyyah outside of Makkah and this was done because there were benefits for the Muslims in doing so. An example of this in our day and age is the kuffar workers that enter the Muslim lands and countries to bring some sort of knowledge or expertise that the Muslims are in need of and that are not to be found within the country; like engineers and doctors e.t.c. So the author said that the dhimmi cannot be harmed but he has to be belittled and kept away from. The point is that he is not treated like the harbi kafir but he also is not treated like the Muslim. So, he is treated in a way that his rights are very limited. This is for his own benefit. In other words, for him to understand that he is not part of the Muslim community and in order for him to consider entering Islaam even if this might be for the wrong reason at the beginning. Meaning he might have intentions of just improving his situation but once he will have entered Islaam his intentions will change, as he tastes the beauty of Islaam. As was the case of many Bedouins at the time of the Prophet Muhammed (sallallaahu alaihi wasallam). For verily the Prophet Muhammed ﷺ had given incentives for those bedouins to enter into Islaam. He had offered them camels, sheep and other wealth so they might have entered Islaam with the wrong intention; meaning with the intention of getting hold of wealth but once they have entered into Islaam and their hearts had tasted eemaan then their intentions changed and they became sincere. So this limitation of right is for his own benefit. 5 Surah At-Taubah 9:29 9
What the author has mentioned here is that the kafir has to take the narrowest path. You should not start with giving the salaam with him, and not mingle with him. This is for him to understand that this matter he is upon is something that leads to his rejection but all this is not an absolute and general ruling meaning all this that we have mentioned so far. For verily, the Prophet Muhammed ﷺ in some situations has acted different in another manner then what we mentioned. The scholars have understood that there can be mingling with the kafir if this will lead to this matter (of benefit). Like the Prophet ﷺ did with the Jewish boy he visited while he was about to die. As you know, this Jewish boy entered Islaam just before dying. This was from the visit of the Prophet ﷺ and his good behaviour. So from this we can understand that it is permissible to mingle with the kafir and behave with him in the best of manners and with the condition that the Muslim does not fall into any prohibition of the religion. So, we mention it is not from the ways of calling him to the religion by giving salaam to him but you can have nice words with him in a gentle manner and be pleasant in order to call him to the religion and make him love the Muslim. Just like the Prophet ﷺ has done by visiting this Jewish boy. From here, we understand there is a question related to this matter and it is the fact that some people claim that by not starting by giving the salaam to a kafir will lead him to hate Islaam or make him turn away from Islaam. We say, first of all, this is not correct because first of all our sharee ah forbids us to do so. Secondly, what is requested is not that we start the salaam but that we have some sort of nice behaviour and we might start off with some nice speech and behaviour that will have a positive effect upon this kafir and the atmosphere with him. If this kafir understands that you are doing that under a religious obligation he will respect you for that and he will understand you do not give him salaams for these reasons. But at the same time he sees the good behaviour you have and this will make him think. For example, if you were to meet the kafir somewhere and you were to have anything or something you have with you to share with him, then do so. Share with him and ask how is he doing? How his children are doing? If you can help him in any way and so on and so forth. 10
Your intention in doing so is to bring him closer to the Deen. The Prophet ﷺ in his letter to Heraclius, who was a harbi kafir, he wrote, at the beginning of the letter, Salaam upon whoever follows the guidance. 6 Therefore, you see that he did not say asalaamu alaykum. So these matters are to be paid attention too. This is the manner that we deal with the kuffar in order to bring him (them) to our religion. This was also for the interaction with the harbi kafir if he is taken as a prisoner, enslaved in order to call him to the religion as the Prophet ﷺ said, Allaah is amazed at the people who will enter Jannah in chains. 7 In other words, they were taken prisoner in times of war and from the good behaviour of the Muslims; they entered into Islaam and eventually entered into Jannah. Shaykh Abdullaah stopped here. We say, سبحانك اللهم وبحمدك أشهد أن ال إله إال أنتأستغفرك وأتوب إليك Subhaanna kala humma wa be humd ka ashadu an laaillaaha illah anta astaghfiruka wa atoobu ilaak. How Perfect you are oh Allaah, and I praise you. I bear witness that none has the right to be worshipped except you. I seek Your Forgiveness and turn to you in repentance. 6 Saheeh al-bukharee 7 Saheeh al-bukharee 11