Table of Contents cart One: What is Values-Driven Discipleship?... 13 The premise of this book... 15 Why this volume?... 16 Why the 12 core values?... 17 Why core value training is so effective... 17 Getting started... 17 Spiritual instruction... 18 Parents, not programs... 18 The values that God values... 19 Family devotional times... 19 The element of prayer... 19 Bible reading... 20 Love for the Word, not a legalistic approach... 20 Edification, not entertainment... 20 Scripture memory methods for the family... 21 Capturing teachable moments... 23 The problem with teachable moments... 24 A solution... 24 A word of encouragement... 26 cart Two: The Core Values... 27 Yaith... 29 Faith defined... 29 Belief in God is not enough... 29 Saving faith... 29 Without faith, it is impossible to please God... 30 Faith for today... 30 We are never alone... 31 Anything is possible... 31 Faith in God s promises... 32 You can trust in the Word... 32 Faith to hear God s voice... 32 Praying in faith: effective prayer... 32 First, we must ask:... 33 Persistence pays off:... 33 We must believe:... 33 Proper motives:... 33 Be right with God:... 33 By Jesus authority:... 34 When should we pray?... 34 Always!... 34 When in trouble... 34 Marc & Cynthia Carrier 5
When sick... 34 Faith and the rules of worrying... 34 Do not worry about evildoers:... 34 It s appropriate to concern yourself with today, but only consider tomorrow:... 35 Courage and confidence through faith... 35 Faith in action... 36 Case studies in faith... 37 furrender... 39 Fear God... 39 What is the fear of the Lord?... 39 The power of God demands our respect... 39 Balancing love and reverent fear... 40 What is our duty?... 40 What s in it for me?... 41 Fear of God is a good thing... 41 A surrendered spirit... 42 What about my choice?... 42 Our commitment... 42 We are not slaves to sin, but rather God s bondservants... 42 When it doesn t feel good... 43 Character building: discipline and adversity... 43 Get over it! Discipline is a reality... 43 God disciplines those He loves... 44 Discipline and punishment... 44 Choose to be good soil... 44 Surrender and persecution... 45 Turn the other cheek and go the extra mile... 45 Surrendering to authority... 45 Headship equals protection... 45 Chain of command... 46 Government... 46 Employers... 46 Christ is supreme... 47 The authority of the Word... 48 Surrender personified... 48 In the family... 49 The genesis of the family unit... 49 What the Bible says about a wife s submission... 49 Win him with silent submission... 49 What submission is not:... 49 The blessing of submission... 50 When the chain is broken: obey God before man... 50 Surrender, in summary... 51 _ove... 53 Marc & Cynthia Carrier 6
The blessing of walking in love... 53 The beginning of love... 53 Loving God... 53 Loving others... 53 The center of it all: the marriage relationship... 54 Blessings for those who are faithful in marriage... 54 Love: the foundation of a successful marriage... 54 The beginnings of marital love: physical attraction... 54 Love is exclusive:... 54 The next step: the emotional relationship... 55 The lasting love of agape (a little Greek word for sacrificial love)... 55 Agape and the law of reciprocity... 55 The law of reciprocity and forgiveness... 56 A husband s love... 56 A wife s love... 57 A thought life of agape... 57 Agape in speech... 57 Everyday agape in action... 57 Physically... 57 Verbally... 58 Emotionally... 58 Divorce and separation... 58 A caveat: guard your hearts... 59 A parent s love for children... 59 The value of children... 59 The blessing of children... 60 Expressing our love for our children... 60 Yaithfulness... 61 Faith versus faithfulness... 61 Faithfulness to the law, because of God s grace... 61 Faithfulness to God s Word... 62 The Ten Commandments... 62 Obedience is not only expected, it is achievable... 63 Faithfulness to God s purposes... 63 Faithfulness to our word... 63 Faithfulness to the marriage covenant... 64 Faithfulness in our labor... 64 Faithfulness with our finances... 64 Faithfulness on the Sabbath... 64 Faithfulness to the Lord in leadership... 65 Faithfulness the duties of a father... 66 Action... 66 Decision... 66 Decision in family planning... 66 Creating a God-honoring environment and spiritual instruction... 66 Protection... 67 Marc & Cynthia Carrier 7
Intercession... 67 Faithfulness the duties of a mother... 67 Biblical instructions for moms... 67 An example of a faithful wife and mother... 68 Faithful parenting... 68 Teach and train... 68 Modeling as a necessary component of child training... 69 Encouragement... 69 Discipline... 69 Avoiding embitterment... 70 Teachable verses: helping a child apply the Word... 70 Honor... 70 Obey... 70 Learn... 70 The rewards of faithful living... 71 jisdom... 73 God s wisdom versus man s wisdom... 73 The benefits of wisdom... 73 How do I get wisdom?... 74 What does godly wisdom look like?... 75 Will we always recognize wisdom?... 75 Where does wisdom start?... 75 Why choose wisdom?... 75 Wisdom in action... 76 Planning and prudence: foundations for success... 76 The importance of godly advice... 77 The necessity of thoughtful action... 77 Show the proper restraint... 77 Wise leadership... 77 Wise leaders seek the Lord s counsel and help... 77 The foolish don t seek the Lord s counsel... 77 Wise leaders lead by example... 78 Wise leaders delegate... 78 Wise leaders are servants, first... 79 Biblical examples of wise leadership: the three wise men... 79 Solomon... 79 Joseph... 79 Daniel... 80 Wise women... 81 Encouraging your children to be wise... 81 felf-control... 83 Choosing self-control... 83 The value of wisdom depends on self-control... 83 Control of what?... 84 Lust... 84 Marc & Cynthia Carrier 8
Pornography... 85 Substance abuse... 86 Scriptural encouragements to self-control... 87 Of utmost importance: controlling the tongue... 88 Effective communication... 88 Don t start an argument... 88 Put a stop to the argument... 88 Respond in love... 89 The curse of the quarrelsome wife... 89 Control anger... 89 Parents, control your anger... 90 Positive speech... 90 Communication criteria summarized... 91 Taking care of our bodies... 91 Rest... 91 eighteousness... 93 Warning against self-righteousness... 93 The blessings of walking in righteousness... 93 Provision and prosperity... 93 Favor... 94 Attention... 95 Blessed children... 95 Joy... 96 Peace... 96 Righteousness in action... 96 Doing good... 97 Honesty and integrity... 97 Biblical portraits of righteousness... 98 Job... 98 Jabez... 99 Zechariah... 99 Simeon... 100 Cornelius... 100 Joseph, earthly father of Jesus... 100 Naomi... 100 The value of a righteous woman... 100 An admonition and a call to righteousness... 101 [oliness... 103 The standard... 104 God s command to his people Israel... 104 God s desire for us as Christians... 104 A picture of the times... 104 So what are we to do about it?... 104 Moral purity and modesty... 105 Setting ourselves apart... 105 Marc & Cynthia Carrier 9
The example of John the Baptist... 105 Do not enter into covenant, partnership, or marriage with an unbeliever... 105 Avoid the lazy brother... 106 Do not welcome false teachers into your home... 106 Avoid the hot-tempered and easily angered... 106 Stay away from the evil doers... 106 Avoid the negative pressures of peer groups... 106 Do not follow the way of the wicked... 106 Avoid dining with the stingy... 107 Avoid the fool... 107 Stay away from the gossip... 107 Do not associate with the drunkard and the glutton... 107 Do not associate with carnal Christians... 107 In the world, but not of the world... 107 [umility... 109 You need humility to succeed!... 109 The benefits of humility... 109 Health and energy... 109 Blessing... 110 God s grace and helping hand... 110 God s guidance and wisdom... 110 The esteem of God Himself... 110 Greatness in heaven... 110 Humble like Christ... 111 Humility as restrained power... 111 Godly humility... 112 Humility in action... 113 Humility is a willingness to receive a rebuke:... 113 Willingness to associate with those of low position:... 113 Humility means trusting in God s plans rather than our own:... 113 A humble person does not brag about himself:... 113 A humble person remembers that everything he has is God-given: 113 Serve God, not your ego... 114 Pride: the opposite of humility... 114 The plight of the prideful: biblical examples... 115 The King of Tyre... 115 Herod... 115 King Uzziah... 115 King Hezekiah... 115 The Nation of Israel... 115 Boast in the Lord... 116 The humble servants of God... 116 The Apostle Paul... 116 Mary, the mother of our Lord Jesus Christ... 116 Marc & Cynthia Carrier 10
Simon Peter... 116 Moses... 116 Abraham... 116 The Nation of Israel... 117 Joshua... 117 David... 117 The Centurion... 117 Disaster averted through humility... 118 Nebuchadnezzar... 118 Ahab... 118 Josiah... 118 Rehoboam... 118 Manasseh... 119 Humility in the home the practical application... 119 Wiligence... 121 It s all for God... 121 The blessing of diligence depends on the Lord... 121 Labor is not just a curse... 122 The reach of the curse... 122 The joy of achievement... 123 The diligent man and the lazy man... 123 Sluggard... 123 The blessings of diligent work... 124 What kind of work should we seek?... 124 Making the move... 125 Diligence for the homemaker... 125 Proverbs 31 woman... 125 Children: little laborers... 126 Do chores before meals... 126 Schedule chore times and job responsibilities... 126 Zenerosity... 127 It s all God s anyway... 127 It is better to give than to receive... 128 True religion is giving... 129 Helping the poor, the oppressed, and the weak... 130 Generously give support and encouragement... 131 Give grace... 132 Treasures in heaven be generous toward God... 132 Sell your possessions and give the money to the poor?... 132 Stewardship of money... 133 Giving when it hurts... 133 Be generous in extending hospitality... 134 Give your talent... 134 Give out of love... 134 Caution to the rich (do not hoard)... 135 Marc & Cynthia Carrier 11
Greed, the antithesis of generosity... 135 Greed is idolatry... 135 Greed and covetousness... 135 Wealth and possessions are fleeting... 135 Which will it be: God or riches?... 136 The greedy have fallen... 136 craise... 139 God works all things for good... 139 Our trials may benefit others... 139 Our trials help us grow in Christlikeness... 139 God guides and protects us, even in trials... 139 The foundations for praise... 140 Focusing on the eternal... 140 Focus on the present, not on the past... 140 Focus on God, not on your problems... 140 Positive thinking... 141 Praise God for his miracles... 141 Praise God for who He is... 142 Effects of praise in our personal lives... 143 Just a smile... 143 Healing power... 143 Joy and thanksgiving... 143 Contentment in work... 144 Positive speech... 144 Worship... 144 Praise in our relationships... 145 Enjoyment in others success... 145 Joy in the salvation of the lost... 145 Rejoice in your wife... 146 Enjoy the fellowship of believers... 146 Rejoice in your salvation... 146 Warning against complacency... 146 Job s resolve: praise God in all things... 147 Sorrow will be turned to joy, worry to peace, loss to success... 147 Other examples:... 148 Perseverance through suffering... 149 Praise and persecution... 150 Vore value quick reference... 151 KJV... 151 NIV... 152 Illustrated Bible verse example (Proverbs 10:4)... 153 \ndex... 155 Marc & Cynthia Carrier 12