THE SUFFICIENCY OF CHRIST IN MARRIAGE Not just enough, Plenty!
Yes, it s true, I may not be a Master Builder. I may not have a lot of experience fighting or leading or coming up with ideas in general. In fact I m not all that smart and I m not what you would call a creative type. Plus, generally unskilled also, scared and cowardly. I know what you are thinking, he is the least qualified person in the world to lead us. And you are Right! -Emmett Lego
Colossians 3:18-20 Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them. Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord.
Why is it important to see marriage from God s perspective? What does the Bible say about marriage roles? How does Sin Sabotage marriage? What s love got to do with it? Why can believing women have exceptional marriages?
Ephesians 5:22-33 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body. Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.
If you are to love like Christ, then you also must concern yourself with your wife s sanctification. Though Jesus has already taken all of her sin on the cross, you still have a real responsibility. You are to love, lead and sacrifice in such a way that it results in your wife s sanctification. The most loving thing you can do is to lead your wife to be closer to Jesus, and become more like Him. Francis Chan You and Me Forever
Titus 2:3-8 Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be selfcontrolled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.
Ephesians 5:15-24 Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, making the best use of the time, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is. And do not get drunk with wine, for that is debauchery, but be filled with the Spirit, addressing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody to the Lord with your heart, giving thanks always and for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ. Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.
Genesis 3:16 To the woman he said, I will surely multiply your pain in childbearing; in pain you shall bring forth children. Your desire shall be for your husband, and he shall rule over you. And to Adam he said, Because you have listened to the voice of your wife and have eaten of the tree of which I commanded you, You shall not eat of it, cursed is the ground because of you.
The woman was made of a rib out of the side of Adam; not made out of his head to rule over him, nor out of his feet to be trampled upon by him, but out of his side to be equal with him, under his arm to be protected, and near his heart to be beloved. - Matthew Henry
When we submit, we are respectfully submitting to a God given position and not perfection. In other words, our husbands are going to make mistakes. They will not always deserve to be the leader in our eyes, but God will always deserve our obedience to Him in this way. And since the command to submit comes from God, our submission is ultimately to him. Lisa Chan
He will protect you spiritually, encouraging you in time alone with God and sacrificing to make sure you have that time. He will encourage you not to love the world or the things of this world. He may remind you to keep your focus on eternal things, guiding you to acts of love that will yield an eternal reward. Francis Chan
James 1:14-15 But each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire. Then desire when it has conceived gives birth to sin, and sin when it is fully grown brings forth death.
Philippians 4 :8 Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.
1 Corinthians 13:4-6 Love is patient and kind, it does not envy or boast, it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way. It is not irritable or resentful. It does not rejoice in wrong doing but rejoices in the truth.
Here are some excerpts from chapter 12 of Paul David Tripp s What Did You Expect? Redeeming the Realities of Marriage (Wheaton: Crossway, 2010). Love is willing self-sacrifice for the good of another that does not require reciprocation or that the person being loved is deserving. Love is being willing to have your life complicated by the needs and struggles of your husband or wife without impatience or anger. Love is actively fighting the temptation to be critical and judgmental toward your spouse, while looking for ways to encourage and praise. Love is the daily commitment to resist the needless moments of conflict that come from pointing out and responding to minor offenses. Love is being lovingly honest and humbly approachable in times of misunderstanding, and being more committed to unity and love than you are to winning, accusing, or being right. Love is a daily commitment to admit your sin, weakness, and failure and to resist the temptation to offer an excuse or shift the blame.
Love means being willing, when confronted by your spouse, to examine your heart rather than rising to your defense or shifting the focus. Love is a daily commitment to grow in love so that the love you offer to your husband or wife is increasingly selfless, mature, and patient. Love is being unwilling to do what is wrong when you have been wronged but to look for concrete and specific ways to overcome evil with good. Love is being a good student of your spouse, looking for his physical, emotional, and spiritual needs so that in some way you can remove the burden, support him as he carries it, or encourage him along the way. Love means being willing to invest the time necessary to discuss, examine, and understand the problems that you face as a couple, staying on task until the problem is removed or you have agreed upon a strategy of response. Love is always being willing to ask for forgiveness and always being committed to grant forgiveness when it is requested.
Love is recognizing the high value of trust in a marriage and being faithful to your promises and true to your word. Love is speaking kindly and gently, even in moments of disagreement, refusing to attack your spouse s character or assault his or her intelligence. Love is being unwilling to flatter, lie, manipulate, or deceive in any way in order to co-opt your spouse into giving you what you want or doing something your way. Love is being unwilling to ask your spouse to be the source of your identity, meaning and purpose, or inner sense of well-being, while refusing to be the source of his or hers. Love is the willingness to have less free time, less sleep, and a busier schedule in order to be faithful to what God has called you to be and to do as a husband or a wife. Love is a commitment to say no to selfish instincts and to do everything that is within your ability to promote real unity, functional understanding, and active love in your marriage.
Love is staying faithful to your commitment to treat your spouse with appreciation, respect, and grace, even in moments when he or she doesn t seem to deserve it or is unwilling to reciprocate. Love is the willingness to make regular and costly sacrifices for the sake of your marriage without asking anything in return or using your sacrifices to place your spouse in your debt. Love is being unwilling to make any personal decision or choice that would harm your marriage, hurt your husband or wife, or weaken the bond of trust between you. Love is refusing to be self-focused or demanding but instead looking for specific ways to serve, support, and encourage, even when you are busy or tired. Love is daily admitting to yourself, your spouse, and God that you are not able to love this way without God s protecting, providing, forgiving, rescuing, and delivering grace. Love is a specific commitment of the heart to a specific person that causes you to give yourself to a specific lifestyle of care that requires you to be willing to make sacrifices that have that person s good in view.
This realization should give you pause and then spur you to action: it is impossible for any of us to love as has been described. The bar is simply too high. The requirements are simply too great. None of us has what it takes to reach this standard. This description of love in action has left me humbled and grieved. It has faced me once again with my tendency to name as love things that are not love. It has forced me to admit how self-focused and self-absorbed I actually am. It has reminded me that when it comes to love, I am not an expert. No, I am poor, weak, and needy. Jesus died not only so that we would have forgiveness for not loving as we should, but also so that we would have the desire, wisdom, and power to love as we should. Jesus suffered in love so that in your struggle to love you would never, ever be alone. As you give yourself to love, he showers you with his love, so that you would never be without what you need to love.
Because of Christ: 1. I am a new creation 2. I am forgiven and I can forgive 3. I am no longer bound by sin or the culture I live in 4. I am complete in Christ and do not need to be completed by another 5. I have hope that all things will be made good 6. I have the Holy Spirit empowering me to bear fruit 7. I have a secured future 8. I can overcome sin 9. I can follow the example of Love given in scripture