CHILD DEDICATION SERVICE The Rev. David Herndon First Unitarian Church 605 Morewood Avenue Pittsburgh, PA 15213 Month ##, 2000 Name of Child Born Month ##, 2000 Daughter of Opening Words In a house which becomes a home, one hands down and another takes up the heritage of mind and heart, laughter and tears, musing and deeds. Love, like a carefully loaded ship, crosses the gulf between the generations. Therefore, we do not neglect the ceremonies of our passage: when we wed, when we die, and when we are blessed with a child; when we depart and when we return; when we plant and when we harvest. Let us bring up our children. It is not the place of some official to hand to them their heritage. If others impart to our 1
children our knowledge and our ideals, they will lose all of us that are wordless and full of wonder. Let us build memories in our children, lest they allow treasures to be lost because they have not been given the keys. We live, not by things, but by the meanings of things. It is needful to transmit the passwords from generation to generation. --Antoine de St. Exupery Opening Statement From the beginning of time, men and women have brought their children to houses of worship for dedication. In the presence of the congregation, children have been given names and parents have declared their responsibilities for them. and, we rejoice with you in the gift of this child entrusted to your loving care. We are glad that, moved by a sense of the blessings and responsibilities of parenthood, you have brought your child to this house of religion to seek for her the blessings of our free faith and universal church. We celebrate your pledge to nourish in her to the best of your ability the love of truth and the vision of peace, justice, and world community. You will name your daughter in this ceremony. By this act, we declare that each child is an individual, a unique and separate person with a dignity and life of her own. She has come from/to you, but she is not yours. The giving of a name 2
is a declaration that we will respect her as herself and give her the freedom to be herself. We perform this ceremony publicly to declare that all of us, as parents and as representatives of this religious community, share in the responsibility for the care and development of all children. It is our task to give them a world of peace and justice in which to grow. It is our task to help them understand our ideals and hopes and to help them choose theirs. By presenting your daughter to the congregation, you acknowledge that she is more than a private possession, but is a new being in whom we all have a responsibility and whom we are welcoming into this community. Readings On Children from The Prophet By Kahlil Gibran This is #715 in Singing the Living Tradition. It could be presented either as a solo reading or as a responsive reading. Your children are not your children. They are the sons and daughters of Life s longing for itself. The come through you but not from you, And although they are with you yet they belong not to you. 3
You may give them your love but not your thoughts, For they have their own thoughts. You may house their bodies but not their souls, For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams. You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you. For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday. You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth. The Archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, and bends you with might that the arrows may go swift and far. Let your bending in the Archer s hand be for gladness; For even as He loves the arrow that flies, so He loves also the bow that is stable. Welcome to the World By Esta Cassaway Welcome to the world, Little one. Miracles are waiting; Open up your eyes. See the silver moon, 4
Smiling down upon you. Watch as daylight Tiptoes in And paints the sky. You are our miracle; You make us complete. May you dance in sunshine. May your dreams be sweet. Welcome to the world, Little one. Raindrops on your window Play a gentle tune. Bees and butterflies Waving from the flowers Birds are singing lullabies To say hello You are our miracle; You make us complete. May you dance in sunshine. May your dreams be sweet. Welcome to the world, Little one. Miracles are waiting; Listen to their song. Mountains and hills Shall sing before you. 5
Welcome to the world. Welcome to the world, Little one. Wild Geese By Mary Oliver You do not have to be good. You do not have to walk on your knees for a hundred miles through the desert repenting. You only have to let the soft animal of your body love what it loves. Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine. Meanwhile the world goes on. Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain are moving across the landscapes, over the prairies and the deep trees, the mountains and the rivers. Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air, are heading home again. Whoever you are, no matter how lonely, the world offers itself to your imagination, calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting over and over announcing your place in the family of things. 6
from Peace Is Every Step: The Path of Mindfulness in Everyday Life by Thich Nhat Hanh One autumn day, I was in a park, absorbed in the contemplation of a very small, beautiful leaf, shaped like a heart. Its color was almost red, and it was barely hanging on the branch, nearly ready to fall down. I spent a long time with it, and I asked the leaf a number of questions. I found out the leaf had been a mother to the tree. Usually we think that the tree is the mother and the leaves are just children, but as I looked at the leaf, I saw that the leaf is also a mother to the tree. The sap that the roots take up is only water and minerals, not sufficient to nourish the tree. So the tree distributes the sap to the leaves, and the leaves transform the rough sap into elaborated sap and, with the help of the sun and gas, send it back to the tree for nourishment. Therefore, the leaves are also the mother to the tree. Since the leaf is linked to the tree by a stem, the communication between them is easy to see. We do not have a stem linking us to our mother anymore, but when we were in her womb, we had a very long stem, an umbilical cord. The oxygen and the nourishment we needed came to us through that stem. But on the day we were born, it was cut off, and we received the illusion that we became independent. That is not true. We continue to rely on our mother for a very long time, and we have many other mothers as well. The Earth is our mother. We have a great many stems linking us to our Mother Earth. There are stems linking us with 7
the clouds. If there are no clouds, there will be no water for us to drink.... This is also the case with the river, the forest, the logger, and the farmer. There are hundreds of thousands of stems linking us to everything in the cosmos, supporting us and making it possible for us to be. Do you see the link between you and me? If you are not there, I am not here. This is certain.... I asked the leaf whether it was frightened because it was autumn and the other leaves were falling. The leaf told me, No. During the whole spring and summer I was completely alive. I worked hard to help nourish the tree, and so much of me is in the tree. I am not limited by this form. I am also the whole tree, and when I go back to the soil, I will continue to nourish the tree. So I don t worry at all. As I leave this branch and float to the ground, I will wave to the tree and tell her, I will see you again very soon. That day there was a wind blowing and, after a while, I saw the leaf leave the branch and float down to the soil, dancing joyfully, because as it floated it saw itself already there in the tree. It was so happy. I bowed my head, knowing that I have a lot to learn from the leaf. The Lord bless you and keep you; The Lord make his face to shine upon you, And be gracious to you; The Lord lift up his countenance upon you, And give you peace. 8
--Numbers 6:24-26 From Walden By Henry David Thoreau If one advances confidently in the direction of her dreams, and endeavors to live the life which she has imagined, she will meet with a success unexpected in common hours. She will put some things behind, will pass an invisible boundary; new, universal, and more liberal laws will begin to establish themselves around and within her; or the old laws be expanded, and interpreted in her favor in a more liberal sense, and she will live with the license of a higher order of beings. In proportion as she simplifies her life, the laws of the universe will appear less complex, and solitude will not be solitude, nor poverty poverty, nor weakness weakness. If you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost; that is where they should be. Now put the foundations under them. From a speech at the inauguration of Nelson Mandela Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light not our darkness that frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous? 9
Actually who are you not to be? You are the child of the Spirit. Your playing small doesn t serve the world. There s nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won t feel insecure around you. We were born to make manifest the glory of the Spirit that is within us. It s not just in some of us, it s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fears, our presence automatically liberates others. To Live Deliberately By Henry David Thoreau This is #660 in Singing the Living Tradition. It could be presented either as a solo reading or as a responsive reading. Why should we live in such a hurry and waste of life? We are determined to be starved before we are hungry. I wish to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life. I wish to learn what life has to teach, and not, when I come to die, discover that I have not lived. I do not wish to live what is not life, living is so dear, nor do I wish to practice resignation, unless it is quite necessary. I wish to live deep and suck out all the marrow of life, I want to cut a broad swath, to drive life into a corner, and reduce it to its lowest terms. If it proves to be mean, then to get the whole and genuine meanness of it, and publish its meanness to the world; or if it is sublime, to 10
know it by experience, and to be able to give a true account of it. Give Us the Spirit of the Child By Sara Moores Campbell This is #664 in Singing the Living Tradition. It could be presented either as a solo reading or as a responsive reading. Give us the spirit of the child. Give us the child who lives within: the child who trusts, the child who imagines, the child who sings, the child who receives without reservation, the child who gives without judgment. Give us a child s eyes, that we may receive the beauty and freshness of this day like a sunrise; give us a child s ears, that we may hear the music of mythical times; give us a child s heart, that we may be filled with wonder and delight; give us a child s faith, that we may be cured of our cynicism; give us the spirit of the child, who is not afraid to need; who is not afraid to love. New Life Comes to Us By George Kimmich Beach This is #717 in Singing the Living Tradition. It could be presented either as a solo reading or as a responsive reading. 11
New life comes to us as a gift. Each new life makes its demand, exacts our attentiveness, enlists and organizes our energies, and blesses us. May we be worthy of the gift, and glad receivers of the blessing. New life appeals to us. Each new life is helpless and so calls forth our help, is weak and so calls forth our strength, is innocent and so calls forth our wisdom. May we be wise in our strength, and ever-strong in our help. New life grows. Each new life ventures first words, first steps, first essays in the art of living. Each grows, ever surpassing the life that was for the life that shall be. May we patiently wait, and watch in wonder. New life bears untold promise. Each new life has a story to tell, and we shall listen. Each new life goes forth from us, laying the child s sovereign claim on whole realms of being we had called our own. God of grace, may they be blessed, whatever the pathways they follow, whatever the life they claim as their own. From The Little Prince By Antoine de Saint-Exupėry The little prince went away, to look again at the roses. You are not at all like my rose, he said. As yet you are nothing. No one has tamed you, and you have tamed no one. You are like my fox when I first knew him. He was only a fox 12
like a hundred thousand other foxes. But I have made him my friend, and now he is unique in all the world. And the roses were very much embarrassed. You are beautiful, but you are empty, he went on. One could not die for you. To be sure, an ordinary passerby would think that my rose looked just like you the rose that belongs to me. But in herself alone she is more important than all the hundreds of you other roses: because it is she that I have watered; because it is she that I have put under the glass globe; because it is she that I have sheltered behind the screen; because it is for her that I have killed the caterpillars (except the two or three that we saved to become butterflies); because it is she that I have listened to, when she grumbled, or boasted, or even sometimes when she said nothing. Because she is my rose. And he went back to meet the fox. Goodbye, he said. Goodbye, said the fox. And now here is my secret, a very simple secret: It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.... I am thirsty for this water, said the little prince. Give me some of it to drink.... And I understood what he had been looking for. I raised the bucket to his lips. He drank, his eyes closed. It was as sweet as some special festival treat. This water was indeed a different thing from ordinary nourishment. Its sweetness was born of the walk under the stars, the song of the pulley, the effort of my arms. It was good for the heart, like a present. When I was a little boy, the lights of the Christmas tree, the music of the Midnight Mass, the tenderness 13
of smiling faces, used to make up, so, the radiance of the gifts I received. The men where you live, said the little prince, raise five thousand roses in the same garden and they do not find in it what they are looking for. They do not find it, I replied. And yet what they are looking for could be found in one single rose, or in a little water. Yes, that is true, I said. And the little prince added: But the eyes are blind. One must look with the heart The Great End in Religious Instruction By William Ellery Channing This is #652 in Singing the Living Tradition. It could be presented either as a solo reading or as a responsive reading. The great end in religious instruction is not to stamp our minds upon the young, but to stir up their own; not to make them see with our eyes, but to look inquiringly and steadily with their own; not to give them a definite amount of knowledge, but to inspire a fervent love of truth; not to form an outward regularity, but to touch inward springs; not to bind them by ineradicable prejudices to our particular sect or peculiar notions, but to prepare them for impartial, conscientious judging of whatever subjects may be offered to 14
their decision; not to burden the memory, but to quicken and strengthen the power of thought; not to impose religion upon them in the form of arbitrary rules, but to awaken the conscience, the moral discernment. In a word, the great end is to awaken the soul, to excite and cherish spiritual life. Dedication We use flowers and water time-honored symbols in this ceremony. They remind us of the beauty and wonder and freshness of life. We dedicate ourselves to the task of nourishing the beauty and freshness and wonder of this child and all children. Dedication: Parents and, your responsibility is first and greatest. As you pledged yourselves to each other in love and loyalty, will you now enlarge that pledge to include the wonderful creation of your life together, your daughter? (We will.) Dedication: Godparents and, this child will be joining you in the joys and sorrows of growing and searching. Will you make a place for her and welcome her into your hearts? (We will.) 15
Dedication: Brothers and Sisters, you have a different responsibility. Big brothers/big sisters are very important. They can be friends and teachers and companions. You will know and love for many years, maybe longer than your parents. Will you make a place for her and welcome her into your hearts? (We will.) Dedication: Family and Friends This child has much to learn from your wisdom and traditions. As family members, will you teach her your family traditions and your family heritage of love? As friends, will you continue to offer companionship and affection through all the changing seasons of life? (We will.) Dedication: Church School Members This child will be joining with you in the fun and search for the meaning of life and living in our church. Will you make a place for her and welcome her as a part of our religious community? (We will.) Dedication: Congregation 16
At this moment and for years to come, this child will be a member of our community of concern, responsibility, and affection. Will you make a place for her and pledge to her parents your wholehearted assistance? (We will.) Naming and, what name have you chosen for your daughter? ( ) On behalf of this community, I confirm you to the name. It is our hope that you will wear this name with honor and peace and courage. Flowers and Water The water with which I will touch your forehead is a symbol of the pure life, and the flower that I will give is a symbol of the fragrance of good deeds. The flower also symbolizes the meaning of your dedication. For whether a flower is beautiful or not, whether it comes into full bloom or not, whether it fulfills itself as a flower or not, depends on the nurture it receives. No flower grows alone, apart from the sunshine and rain, apart from the soil in which it grows. So too, no child grows alone., I consecrate thee to the joy of living, to the mystery and miracle of love, and to the service of truth, justice, 17
and peace. May your life be rich in vision, full in accomplishment, and fired by the energy of high ideals. Benediction May the peace of water flowing be with this child, and with us all; May the beauty of starry skies be with this child, and with us all; May the warmth of companionship be with this child, and with us all; And may the miracle of this world in its fullness Bless this child and all people, this day and each day of our lives. Amen. 18