Influence at Work: What Gets In Your Way and What to Do About It

Influence at Work: What Gets In Your Way and What to Do About It Featuring Dr. Heidi Grant Halvorson, Associate Director of the Motivation Science Center at Columbia Business School, and author of No One Understands You and What to Do About It APRIL 22, 2014 Sponsored by

Questions? To ask a question click on the question icon in the lower-right corner of your screen. OCTOBER 17, 2012

Presentation Download Link Click on the double links icon here to download the presentation materials. OCTOBER 17, 2012

Follow the Conversation on Twitter Use #HBRwebinar @HBRExchange APRIL 22, 2014

Influence at Work: What Gets In Your Way and What to Do About It Today s Speaker Dr. Heidi Grant Halvorson, Associate Director of the Motivation Science Center at Columbia Business School, and author of No One Understands You and What to Do About It APRIL 22, 2014 @HBRExchange #HBRwebinar

NO ONE UNDERSTANDS YOU AND WHAT TO DO ABOUT IT HEIDI GRANT HALVORSON

..some women s bodies are not right for our pants.

It s not really about asking for a raise, but knowing and having faith that the system will give you the right raise.

Self Other Agreement

You are harder to understand than you think

Available Information You Them

Available Information You Them Your intentions YES No

Available Information You Them Your intentions YES No Your thoughts YES No

Available Information You Them Your intentions YES No Your thoughts YES No Your feelings YES No

Available Information You Them Your intentions YES No Your thoughts YES No Your feelings YES No Your facial expressions NO YES

Available Information You Them Your intentions YES No Your thoughts YES No Your feelings YES No Your facial expressions NO YES Your body language MAYBE YES

Available Information You Them Your intentions YES No Your thoughts YES No Your feelings YES No Your facial expressions NO YES Your body language MAYBE YES Your behavior YES YES*

Available Information You Them Your intentions YES No Your thoughts YES No Your feelings YES No Your facial expressions NO YES Your body language MAYBE YES Your behavior YES YES* What you say YES YES*

Beauty is the eye of the perceiver.

Beauty is the eye of the perceiver. So is everything else.

Your words & actions How they see you

Interpretation Your words & actions How they see you

Your actual words and actions* Interpretation

Your actual words and actions* Interpretation Stereotypes Assumptions

False Uniqueness The Ten Commandments I obey Americans obey Do not curse or use profanity 64% Go to church, synagogue, or mosque on holy days 64% Respect your parents 95% Do not commit murder 91% If married, do not have a sexual relationship with someone 86% other than your spouse Do not steal 90% Do not say things that aren t true about another person 88% Do not envy things another person has 76% Do not covet another person s husband or wife 84% Worship only the one true God 81%

False Uniqueness The Ten Commandments I obey Americans obey Do not curse or use profanity 64% 15% Go to church, synagogue, or mosque on holy days 64% 22% Respect your parents 95% 49% Do not commit murder 91% 71% If married, do not have a sexual relationship with someone 86% 45% other than your spouse Do not steal 90% 54% Do not say things that aren t true about another person 88% 33% Do not envy things another person has 76% 23% Do not covet another person s husband or wife 84% 42% Worship only the one true God 81% 49%

Your actual words and actions* Interpretation Stereotypes Assumptions

Your actual words and actions* Interpretation Stereotypes Assumptions Past experience with you

Primacy Effect

Your actual words and actions* Interpretation Stereotypes Assumptions Past experience with you

Your actual words and actions* Interpretation Stereotypes Assumptions Past experience with you Stuff about them

Your actual words and actions* Context Interpretation Stereotypes Assumptions Past experience with you Stuff about them

Your actual words and actions* Requires time & effort Context Interpretation Stereotypes Assumptions Past experience with you Stuff about them

3 Lenses of Perception Trust Power Ego

Trust Lens

Competence Warmth

Projecting Warmth Maintain eye contact Smile Nod Actually listen Be affirming

Power Lens

Douglas Adams on horses They have always understood a great deal more than they let on. It is difficult to be sat on all day, every day, by some other creature, without forming an opinion about them. On the other hand, it is perfectly possibly to sit all day, every day, on top of another creature and not have the slightest thought about them whatsoever Dirk Gently s Holistic Detective Agency

Power Lens

Ingratiation

Ingratiation Doing a great job

Ingratiation Doing a great job THIS IS HOW I CAN HELP YOU

Ego Lens

Relevance Closeness

Relevance High Threat Closeness

High Threat

Moderate Threat Relevance High Threat Closeness

Moderate Threat

Moderate Threat Relevance High Threat Closeness Low Threat

Low Threat

Moderate Threat Relevance High Threat Closeness Low Threat Low Threat

Low Threat

How do people deal with ego threat?

Too close, too comparable

Decrease relevance

Decrease closeness

See you negatively Gross

Create a sense of US

3 Lenses of Perception Trust Power Ego

If you remember nothing else Establish trust: Project warmth and competence Get attention: Be instrumental Be awesome and likable: Create a sense of us

And if you are in a position of power pay attention to the horses.

Questions? To ask a question click on the question icon in the lower-right corner of your screen. OCTOBER 17, 2012 @HBRExchange #HBRwebinar

Thank you for joining us! This webinar was made possible by the support of Citrix GoToMeeting. APRIL 22, 2015 Sponsored by