REFORMED CHURCH BELLVILLE SUNDAY 9 SEPTEMBER 2018 EVENING SERVICE. (All quotations from the New King James Version unless indicated otherwise) Sing beforehand: Hymn 9-2:1+6+9. Our help is in the name of the LORD, who made heaven and earth. Beloved, grace be unto you, and peace, from God our Father, and from the Lord Jesus Christ. By the powerful operation of God the Holy Spirit. Song of praise: Psalm 149:1+2. Prayer Doxology: Worship: Confession: Supplication (for pardon of sins): Thanksgiving: Intercession (for the need of the congregation, the church, authorities, sinful world and appeal to the promises of God) General supplication: Illumination of the Holy Spirit (necessary for the ministry of the Word): Psalm 128:1+2. Scripture reading: Ephesians 5:15-32. Heidelberg Catechism Lord's day 41; Q 108. Scripture text: Ephesians 5:22-24: Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. (23) For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Saviour of the body. (24) Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. Heidelberg Catechism: Lord's Day 41. Question 108. What does the seventh commandment teach us? Answer: That all unchastity is accursed of God (a), and that we should therefore loathe it from the heart (b); and live chastely and modestly whether in holy wedlock or single life (c). (a) Leviticus 18:30, Ephesians 5:3-5. (b) Jude 22-23. (c) 1 Corinthians 7:1-9; 1 Thessalonians 4:3-8; Hebrews 13:4. Theme: A believing wife lives chastely and modestly with her own husband. Beloved congregation of our Lord Jesus Christ, last Sunday we heard the Lord tell us how a husband should live chastely and modestly with his own wife in marriage. This evening we come to the 1
second part of this brief series following the seventh commandment. We want to learn from the Lord how a believing wife should live chastely and modestly with her own husband in marriage. As the husband has to learn from Christ how to live chastely and modestly with his wife in marriage, likewise the wife must learn from Christ. The Lord's particular command to the husband in marriage is that he must love his wife, just as Christ loves the church. The Lord's particular command to the wife in marriage is that she must submit to her husband as the church is subject to Christ. When women nowadays hear that they must be submissive they immediately react vehemently. They will quickly tell you that it is primitive to say that a woman must submit. That worked in the days when men ruled everything. Those days are past. Over a period of many years feminist movements worked to remove the distinction between men and women. Women must do the same work that men traditionally did. This removal of the distinction did not remain restricted to the work place. Over time the removal of the distinction was carried into marriage and the Lord's church as well. It is argued that women should also be ministers, elders and deacons in the church. And in marriage nobody must have authority. Husband and wife should rather submit to one another. Brothers, sisters and children, it is indeed so that believers must submit to one another because they revere Christ. That is what the Lord tells believers in verse 21 before He teaches them about their behaviour toward one another in three different relationships. Before we hear how the wife must be submissive to her husband, we must obtain clarity about what is meant by submissive and what it does not mean. When believers are told to submit to one another, it refers to a particular way of life that a believer lives and which differs drastically from what is current in the world. People who live according to the worldly way of life dislike being submissive to other people. They prefer to be masters and issue commands. The Lord teaches His disciples that the interests of other people should be put above your own. Which means that a believer is someone who is willing and prepared to serve other believers and care for their interests. That is the example that Jesus put before His disciples. He is the Lord, yet He put on an apron and washed the feet of His disciples. When, as a slave, Jesus washed the feet of His disciples, He did not lose His authority or relinquish it. He remained Lord and the Son of God. The believer who puts the interests of other believers above his own, does not fear that he will lose any prestige. When Jesus humbled Himself to be born as man in a broken world, He did not cling to His divine honour as if He would lose it. He remained the Son of God in His humiliation here on earth. Therefore the believer who submits himself to other believers has no fear of losing anything. He remains a child of God. Therefore he is at peace with himself when he is submissive to someone else. Although believers submit themselves to one another, as Jesus teaches them, they do not become doormats to be trodden underfoot. Someone who is submissive, is not someone who allows matters just to run along. Paul, who subjected himself to fellow believers to serve them, did not allow the truth to be denied. At some time he rebuked his fellow apostle Peter because he, in his behaviour, denied the truth of the redemption of the gentiles. 2
To summarise, being submissive means a disposition in which I put the interests of others above my own. And when I serve another I am not afraid of losing something. I remain God's child. Being submissive does not mean that I become someone's doormat or that there can be no authority. That is what submissiveness means in general. But, what does it mean when the Lord tells the wife in particular that she must submit to her husband? This command to the wife in marriage is found in more than one passage in the New Testament Colossians 3:18; Titus 2:5; 1 Peter 3:1-6. When the Holy Spirit gives the requirements for an elder, it is also expected. When it is said that woman was created for man (1 Corinthians 11:9) the submissiveness of the wife is understood. After the fall into sin this command to submit irritates a woman because her husband is a sinner as well who by nature tends to put his own interests first. Hear how this particular command to the wife commences: Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. The Lord instituted a particular order for the church and the home so that husband and wife can display the image of God. In Jesus Christ we see the image of God at best, for the Son is the image of the invisible God. See what we learn about the image of God in Jesus. Although the Son is God as is His Father and hence equal in honour and eternal glory to His Father, the Son subjects Himself to His Father so that God can execute His Plan of Salvation. Jesus explains His submission to His Father as follows: I can of Myself do nothing. because I do not seek My own will but the will of the Father who sent Me. (John 5:30) Jesus subjected Himself completely to His Father unto the cross! On the cross Jesus paid the debt of sinners, so that everyone who believes in Him, may have eternal life. Christ's death and resurrection is the pinnacle of God's Plan of Salvation. Part of this Plan of Salvation is the order that God has determined for His church and the home. Husband and wife are equal persons the husband is not more important than the wife, for each of them was created in the image of God, and each of them now is a fallen sinner and equally guilty before God, and Christ suffered equally for each of them. Because the believing wife is obedient to God, she willingly subjects herself to the leadership of her husband, just as she subjects herself willingly to Christ's governance. She does so willingly because she is filled with the Holy Spirit. The wife who challenges or undermines her husband's leadership rebels against the governance of Christ and His Father. For Christ, through Paul, gave this commandment to the wife because it is the will of His Father. The Lord Himself gives the reason why the wife must be submissive to her own husband: For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Saviour of the body. (Ephesians 5:23) The head controls the whole body. From your head the command comes that your hand must take the spoon to eat. If your hand fails to react to the head's command, your whole body fails to function properly. And then not only the hand, but the whole body as well as the head suffers. The head 3
therefore has authority over the hand. Authority is understood when the command is given that the wife must submit to her own husband. We must note carefully. The Lord does not command the husband to be the head of his wife. That is a fact that the Lord pronounces. We, men, do not always comply with this fact, but that does not remove the responsibility from men. Because God positioned the husband as head of his wife, the husband remains for the duration of the marriage, accountable to God. What does it mean that the husband, as head, is accountable to the Lord? One can explain it as follows: If you are the head of a department and the department does not perform according to instructions, you, being the head, are accountable for the failure to perform. The head of the department is responsible for the people who work under him. In marriage and the family, the husband is the head because God appointed him. Therefore the husband is accountable to the Lord for the spiritual growth or decline in his household. Which does not mean that the wife can remain passive when she notices that her husband fails to take the lead in the family's worship of the Lord. But, finally the Lord will ask the husband, What did you do?, as He asked Adam. The head wants the best for the body. For, your head would not require your arm to chop off your leg? Your head would rather issue commands that benefit your whole body. After all, your head shares in the benefit each part of the body gains. Christ is the head of the church. He did everything that was required to benefit the church. He saved His church. It is not the husband's duty to save his wife, for only Christ can do that. The principle derived from Christ being the head of the church, is that the husband as head must lead in such a way that his wife and household benefit by it. If a husband abuses his authority as head to benefit himself at the expense of his wife and household, he will have to account to the Lord for it. Christ sacrificed Himself for His church. The husband must sacrifice his ego for the sake of his wife and family. The Lord created marriage because it is not good that man should be alone. He created it so that every husband should have his own wife and every wife her own husband, for the Lord does not want the bearers of His image to be profligate and promiscuous. Marriage therefore has advantages for husband and wife and within this safe, God-given relationship, they can assist one another in displaying the image of God. But the Lord has a further purpose with marriage that we hear in these words: Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. The wife's willing subjection to the leadership of her husband, and the husband's serving and caring love for his wife, depict the relationship between the believers and the Lord. In the world other principles apply. Principles such as the survival of the fittest, and each one for himself. Often these principles also apply in the marriages between unbelieving husbands and wives. There often is a power-struggle that is resolved by negotiations and agreements such as this is mine and that is yours. And so each lives his or her own life and they use one another for certain benefits. A Christian marriage is fundamentally different from a worldly marriage. A believing husband and wife do not need to compete with one another. A believing husband will not dominate his wife so that she must jump at his every whim. A believing wife will not manipulate her husband to extract the love 4
she needs. The believing husband will follow the example of Christ as the Holy Spirit leads him with the Word. He will love his wife as Christ loved the church. The believing wife will subject herself to her husband as the church is subject to Christ. The church does not compete with the Lord about who has authority because Christ never surrenders His authority to the church or anybody within the church. He exercises His authority Himself when through His Spirit and Word He appoints men whom He called to serve. The church is subject to the Lord out of gratitude for His love and mercy, for He nourishes and cherishes His bride continuously. With every marriage between a believing husband and a believing wife the Lord wants to display this relationship between Himself and His church to the world. When the believing husband constantly remains aware thereof that he is accountable to God about what happens in his marriage and family, he will allow himself to be guided by the Spirit to love his wife just as Christ loves His church. The believing husband does not command his wife to subject herself to him. The Lord gives the command to the wife who was saved by Christ. May every believing wife in this congregation subject herself so willingly to her husband and may every believing husband love his wife so, so that Christ and the Father be magnified. When in her marriage a believing wife obeys Christ, she lives chastely and modestly with her own husband. Amen! Closing prayer Closing song: Psalm 127:1+2. The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, and the love of God the Father and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit be with you all now and evermore. Rev Coenraad Vrey Reformed Church Bellville Date: 9 September 2018. Translator: Willem de Haan. 5