D O I F E L V I D E L A 1 P O S S E S S E D L A N D S
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P O S S E S S E D L A N D S 5
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P O S S E S S E D L A N D S P H O T O G R A P H S B Y D O I F E L V I D E L A 7
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F O R E W O R D Chile is the country I was born. For many years I lived abroad and just in my last thirties I came back. The experience was full of new impressions, but the one I cannot forget, was the invisible presence of that particular energy I felt from the moment I stepped down from the airplane. At that time I thought it has to do with the topography. I stood for nine years and I can say now, the experience changed me completely. Many of the ideas about the reality I was carrying, were danger ously challenged. The book you have in hands is a constructed fiction, but a fiction that could be true. The story of the Adolescent is also part of my own history. The person who incarnate the Adolescent is my kid sister Anahí. Landscapes and stones play an important role in this book. I could never imagine Chile without them, they are not just part of the reality but also active characters. Natives call the mountains the stone forest and they ar e supposed to be the natural habitat of the spirits. Doifel Videla 11
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THE TEARS Without trying, as I used to, and without reason, tears ran down my cheeks; they seemed to come out of nowhere.
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PADLOCKS When I turned fourteen my mouth closed; I suddenly found myself in the middle of an unknow world, surrounded however, by familiar objects and persons. 18
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HIDE AND SEEK Instead of exiting me, the usual games began to frighten me. I felt the presence of an adult watching me. 21
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MIRROR It seemed as it if were the first time I looked at me in a mirror. The image seemed strange to me; I found it hard to believe that that was the way I looked. The hardest thing to accept was that that was the image the rest of the people also saw. 24
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THE MUMMY As my hair was the only thing I liked about myself, I decided it would be the one to communicate with people; I would remain only as witness in order to appreciate its effects 27
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GAMES I tried to retrieve the lost familiar world, resorting to games that once been my joy, but their magical effect was no longer there. 31
THE GAGS Games denied me their charm. I felt more and more stupid trying to find life in them. They seemed to me more and more stupid. 32
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ROCKING CHAIR Grandfather Alfredo died in this room. The only thing left of his at home is this rocking chair. When I look at it, I think I can see him during his last days. Maybe by using it I will be able to hear his tired voice. 36
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THE WEIGHT All of a sudden the world seemed more and more complicated to me. I felt I was carrying a burden on my back. People talked to me about responsibilities. 41
THE POSSESSED ONE My body was changing. I felt strange movements in me, coming from the inside, that left me breathless. 42
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COUSINS My cousin and I love each other. I admire everything in her; I know a great future awaits her, because she always knows where she s going. I can only follow her... in the dark 46
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THE FLOWER I never know what to wear. I get the impression I m badly costumed. I would have preferred to have been a flower. That way I would have been born dressed for life. 50
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THE BED Getting out of bed required quite an effort; I would get back in bed at any chance. The most pleasant sensations of the day happened when I was in it. 54
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THE SACRIFICE Sensing my interest, my parents spoke to me about sex, leading me into thinking about something painful which I would some day necessarily have to go through. 58
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HIDDEN Sometimes adults exerted their power by acting in ways I did not understand; when that happend, I used to run and hide among the old things. I used to dream about disappearing among them so that nobody would ever notice me again. 62
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FREEDOM I used to dream of a simple and happy world, where I would be ashamed of nothing, a world where I could go just by simply wishing to. 65
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IN THE WATER Being inside water made me feel the most exquisite sensations. While I was there, in weightlessness, I felt free and agile... For a moment I was completely master of myself. 69
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DEATH My favorite game was imagining that I died and that everybody would be crying for me. My parents would repent of their injustices, my friends of their betrayals and meanness. And I would be watching everything from somewhere above them. 72
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THRESHOLD I thought that dying would be like entering a world of light, where everything would hardly weigh and where there wouldn t be any worries. 76
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THE ASCENCION When one died, I thought, one would finally find his true image. 80
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