! 1 Incredible Connections with Mom Again Happy Mothers Day to all our Moms. Moms can be great at giving advice. I found this list of what some Moms of famous people said to their kids: COLUMBUS'S MOTHER: I don't care what you've discovered, Christopher. You could have written. MICHELANGELO'S MOTHER: Mike, can't you paint on walls like other children? Do you have any idea how hard it is to get that stuff off the ceiling? GOLDILOCKS'S MOTHER: I've got a bill here for a broken chair from the Bear family. Do you know anything about this Goldie? ALBERT EINSTEIN'S MOTHER: But, Albert, it's your final school picture. Can't you do something about your hair? Styling gel, mousse, something...? THOMAS EDISON'S MOTHER: Of course I'm proud that you invented the electric light bulb, Thomas. Now turn off that light and get to bed! HUMPTY DUMPTY'S MOTHER: Humpty, If I've told you once, I've told you a hundred times not to sit on that wall. But would you listen to me? No! This morning I am sure there are a lot of different emotions going around this auditorium because it is Mothers Day. Some may be feeling a panic rising as they realise that oh dear, it is Mothers Day and I havent got a gift to give yet. Others may be sad as their Mom has passed away or is far away or disconnected from them. Some may be feeling down because they have not been able to become a mom, or their own kids are disconnected from them. Mother s Day conjures up a whole range of emotions. This morning we are starting a new series called Incredible Connections looking at God way to make all the relationships in our lives better, more fulfilling and incredible. Do you want to have Incredible connections in your life? That is what God wants for you too not to live in constant tension and conflict, but to have connected life building relationships but that requires effort and work on our parts. The following verses will be the basis for this series which will take us through to the end of June. We begin this series each year on Mothers day and end it around Father s day. After that we will be doing we will be doing 2 short book studies which will take us up to October which is our Missions month. 2 Corinthians 13:11 Finally, brothers and sisters, rejoice! Strive for full restoration, encourage one another, be of one mind, live in peace. And the God of love and peace will be with you. Ephesians 4:2 Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. 3 Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace. It is so easy to point out the faults of the other party in any relationship, but all that you can do is to work on your contribution to the relationship what can I do to make my relationship with my Mom, or with my kids incredible? Listen to what the Lord says today You can have an incredible relationship with your Mom.
! 2 1. Connecting with Mom Being a Mom means different things at different stages of life from the new mom who is finding her way through the barrage of helpful advice and sleepless nights, to the mom of teenagers who feel perhaps their child has been replaced by an alien lifeform. To the empty nesters and granny s day-care, to the older or ill mom who needs help from her kids. As a mom your life goes through different stages, the same for kids you go from being cared for by mom, to being nearly a peer and then to caring for Mom There are different relationships at different ages Ecclesiastes 3:1-4 There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens: 2 a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot, 3 a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build, 4 a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance, Life does not stand still, times change, relationships change, connections change how well have you been handling those changes in your life? It can test and stretch a relationship in new and different way some will find their relationship gets better with age, others may find themselves in conflict or drifting apart. Listen Mom s there are times when you just have to step back because you cant fix everything in your child s life as much as you might want to. Mary, Jesus mom faced not being able to fix everything her little boy had grown up and facing suffering that she could not stop or fix. John 19:25-27 Near the cross of Jesus stood his mother, his mother s sister, Mary the wife of Clopas, and Mary Magdalene. 26 When Jesus saw his mother there, and the disciple whom he loved standing nearby, he said to her, Woman, here is your son, 27 and to the disciple, Here is your mother. From that time on, this disciple took her into his home. It is natural for mom/child relationships to change over time what how do you keep your connection through those changes? There are varying roles for moms, no matter their age Some Moms may feel that they are not needed anymore kids are grown up, out of the house and maybe living a life separately and far way they feel disconnected. The mom role though is vital for the church to function in the way that God has intended. Just as Moms are God s gift to families so they are God s gift to the church. Mom s can be mentors to others Titus 2: 3 Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. 4 Then they can urge the younger women to love their husbands and children, 5
! 3 to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God. The church is a place where God intends people to connect and build into one another life s. Not everyone has a Christian mom who can help advise on godly parenting. Not everyone has a mom or a granny close by to love on their kids either they are physically far way, passed away or disconnected. So the church is a great source for incredible relationships. 2. Reconnecting with Mom The Lord says to some of you today my son, my daughter, you need to reconnect and reconcile with your Mom today. So what do you do when you are totally disconnected either as the Mom, or from your own Mom? I know so many people s mother/child relationships are broken and a sore spot in their lives. Mom mess up and can cause disconnections Understand that moms are not perfect they make mistakes like anyone else. I love that the Bible gives us examples of the good, the bad and the ugly of relationships. Rebekah is an example of a Mom who messed up she has twins, Esau (the eldest) and Jacob (her favourite). When she heard he husband about to pass a blessing to Esau she came up with a plan. Genesis 27:6-10 Rebekah said to her son Jacob, Look, I overheard your father say to your brother Esau, 7 Bring me some game and prepare me some tasty food to eat, so that I may give you my blessing in the presence of the LORD before I die. 8 Now, my son, listen carefully and do what I tell you: 9 Go out to the flock and bring me two choice young goats, so I can prepare some tasty food for your father, just the way he likes it. 10 Then take it to your father to eat, so that he may give you his blessing before he dies. Mom s mess up! It does not excuse the mistakes they have made or you have made but it is a fact of life - Moms are not perfect. So what do you do? Mom s need to be forgiven so that you can reconnect Ephesians 4.31-32 Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. 32 Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. Maybe you are the Mom who has messed up yes, you have done wrong, made bad choices, but don t beat yourself up to the point that you fail to try to reconnect and rebuild. You can find forgiveness through Jesus before God and you can seek forgiveness from your kids. Maybe your Mom is or has messed up and you are thinking Pastor, if you knew what kinds of stuff my Mom has done you would be shocked and you would not be talking forgiveness. Forgiveness is not easy; it is not a get out of jail free card that means what you did to me was all ok. No it is releasing the person from guilt and it is
! 4 making a decision that you are going to stop punishing them. It frees you as much as it frees your Mom. Forgiveness does not always mean that the relationship can be reconnected sometimes it is impossible or unsafe to do so. But unforgiveness leads to bitterness and poison that spills over into other areas of your life. It is destructive and corrosive. Don t let forgiveness towards your Mom, or as a mom towards your child fester and destroy. So how then do you have an incredible connection with Mom? 3. Incredible Connections with Mom You can have an incredible connection with Mom you say NO, I cant yes you can. We all change over time and anything is possible. As roles change it is often way easier to develop an incredible connection with your Mom. I have heard it so many times that I think this is almost normal. Teenage girls and young adult girls often don t see eye to eye with their Mom and there is tension in the relationship. But wait until that daughter becomes a mother herself and then often she is desperate for her mothers help and wisdom and the whole relationship changes. You can grow your relationship with Mom Clinton touched on caring for your parents in last week s Q & A session. A challenge many folk face as they get older is how best to care for older Moms. This is also a challenge for Moms it can be hard to switch from being carer to cared for. This may look differently in each family and can be hard to negotiate cross generationally. How can you care for the Moms in your life and in this church as they get older? It is sometimes hard to be strongly relationally connected with Mom or Granny when you are the primary care giver or when Mom hardly knows who you are you. You need to remain connected. Video Clip 2 Altzheimer Mom and daughter You don t necessarily need to have a biological Mom/child relationship James 1:27 Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world. In this verse we see that our care is also to be for those without their biological Moms. Motherhood is not defined by biology I would love to see this church as a church who adopts people both legally and spiritually. Tracey - testimony You need to sort out unresolved issues now If I were to ask you how many of you who have lost their Mom s wished they had said something to her like I m sorry Mom or whats wrong Mom. For some of you Moms or Mom-in-law is still alive. For many folks their Mom has passed way. This can add to the complicated relationship if things were unresolved. While you cannot restore a relationship with a deceased loved one, you can bring the unresolved
! 5 issues before God and deal with them there. You need to honor her and sort out the relationship as soon as possible. Deuteronomy 5: 16 Honor your father and your mother, as the LORD your God has commanded you, so that you may live long and that it may go well with you in the land the LORD your God is giving you. You can pass on a legacy of what your Mom meant to you. You need to help Mom in whatever stage she finds herself Being a mom is not easy at all. You make mistakes, your kids mess up, life can be messy and sometimes scary. Eve is a good example of this she messed up bigtime when she disobeyed God. She was the first women to experience the wonders of being a mom, and she was also the first mom to have to bury her child. Being a Mom can be really hard. Life is not always picture perfect you worry, you bump heads, connections are stretched and sometimes broken. But God says to you Moms facing a tough time today: Isaiah 40: 28-31 Do you not know? Have you not heard? The LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. 29 He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. 30 Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; 31 but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint. So Moms, Kids (big and small) what are doing to make sure you have an incredible connection? Understand that you both make mistakes, be quick to forgive, be open to change, be open to growing your role and family within the church family and lean on God, the One in whom we have our most Incredible Connection to give you strength and peace in the tough times. Father of All Mothers, Bless our moms today. Grant them strength, health, joy, grace, laughter, freedom from guilt, and hope for the future. Give them a hunger to know Your love, to love You more, and to follow You every day. In the Name of Jesus, Amen.
! 6 Questions for cell groups: 1. The new series we have just started is called Incredible Connections what in your experience prevents us from having incredible relationships? 2. Mother s Day brings our different emotions how do you feel about the day & why? 3. Read Ecclesiastes 3.1-4. Relationships change over time share with the group how your own relationship with your Mom has changed over the years was there anything that caused you to disconnect and what caused you to connect? 3. Read Ephesians 4.31-32. Why is forgiveness so important? How does unforgiveness affect relationships? What advice would you give to someone who is struggling with unforgiveness towards their mom or a child? 4. What steps can you take towards having an incredible connection with your mom, or with your kids? 5. Our relationships are bigger than biology. What roles could you individually or as group undertake in to come alongside struggling Moms of any age or children who have disconnected or lost their mom?