six ways to ease your worried mind Everyone worries. We worry about our children, our parents, our future, how we'll pay for college, and our health - the list goes on. I don t have to tell you that worry causes mental, emotional, and physical pain and negatively impacts your actions and interactions. However, here are some things you might not know about worry along with six strategies to help relieve the associated anxiety. worry stems not from the situations you face, but from the thoughts and beliefs you attach to those situations. For example, take the situation where your child hasn't called to check in. This, in itself, is a circumstance. Your thoughts, however, make it much more than that. You think, "He could be lying in a ditch somewhere! Or abducted! Or maybe he's too busy with his friends to care about me. Either way, he's in big trouble!" In the flash of a moment, you've run the gamut from fear, to hurt to anger. You'll be better equipped to handle anything life delivers when you come at it from a place of peace instead of worry. In the absence of emotional pain, you ll think more clearly and be in a better position to help yourself and others. You can still be concerned and practical about the future without the suffering.
In the midst of so many things that are beyond your control, the good news is that your thoughts and beliefs are wholly within your jurisdiction. Of course, if it were so easy to liberate yourself from these harmful thoughts, you would have done it long ago. happiness comes not when you let go of these painful thoughts, but when they let go of you. Today I'm feeling a little anxious about a surgery I'm having this week to remove an overactive parathyroid gland. I think I could ask the surgeon more questions but I don't know what they are. It occurs to me that it's an illusion to believe that the answers to unknown questions will ease my anxiety. My unease isn't borne of unanswered questions; it's borne of "what-if" worries. What if my vocal cords get damaged and I can't coach or teach or present? Worse, what if I can't yell at my kids? What if my kids don't do their homework while staying at my sister's house this weekend? What if the scar on my neck is unsightly? what can you do to ease your mind? inspect those thoughts Although there are many strategies to move you toward the ultimate goal of an
aligned, joyful life, I know of no greater tool than that of inspecting your thoughts and beliefs. Unraveling anxiety requires questioning the validity of the thoughts behind it. The first thing I did was to ask myself whether I can know, for absolute certainty, that these things will become true. Further, if I can predict the future so well, why aren't I at the lottery counter buying the winning ticket to Friday's MegaMillions jackpot right now? In actuality, I cannot predict the future. I cannot know for certain that any of my worries will come to fruition. In fact, I'm worrying over things that haven't actually happened. Now I feel silly. stay right here, right now Fear of the unknown is always worse than what actually happens. I remind myself that I've dealt with everything life has thrown me so far, and the reality is that I am safe and warm in my home at this very moment. I can step away from worrying about the what-ifs when I ask myself, "Do I have everything I need in this moment?" The key is to stay in this moment because that's all there really ever is. Life is a series of moments and you only ever have to get through each one. I can't attend to or enjoy this moment when my thoughts are muddled in future what-if worries. draft a plan But WHAT IF?!!! If you re having trouble staying in this moment, another way to quell your anxiety is to make a plan for the worst. This isn't hard. It isn't pessimistic. It's an effective method to put your mind at rest because when you have a plan - even a sketchy plan, you feel better prepared. If my vocal cords get damaged during the surgery, I will coach more via email and in person and less by phone. I will start compiling all of my ideas into a book.
I will put more attention into practicing the incredible non-verbal communication skills I learned from Koelle Simpson and Diane Hunter at an Equus workshop I attended last year. let go You can only control things about you. Freeing yourself of the illusion that you have any control whatsoever over others thoughts or actions is a powerful life changing strategy. By letting go of things I can't control, I will lower my stress level and allow my body to heal faster. To this end, I will inform my sister of my kids school assignments and then let go of the outcome completely. find the gift For each adverse outcome you worry about, ask yourself, "What would the gift be in that?" If I lose the ability to speak above a whisper, my kids will have to be quieter to hear me, and that will make our household more peaceful. Using the nonverbal communication strategies I learned to connect and convey understanding will help us to better understand each other. draw from your inner wisdom Your beliefs are shaped by external interactions but your inner wisdom knows the truth. The resulting scar from the surgery may be puffy and obvious. According to the makers of scar creams, it would be ugly and unsightly. My inner wisdom knows, however, that beauty shines from within and no scar, physical or otherwise could ever diminish that light.
coping with worry Worries are nothing more than thoughts & beliefs about things that haven t happened. When you create these stories in your mind, you cause yourself to suffer mental, emotional or physical pain. Nevertheless, worries plague all of us. Using these strategies will help loosen the grip of those pesky thoughts, reduce anxiety and ease your worried mind.. Hi, I'm Linda, and I created this resource just for you! As a master certified life coach, I help men and women navigate change, move from confusion and paralysis to inspired action, and dissolve obstacles like fear, uncertainty, doubt, cynicism, and over-busyness. to Are you ready to move from powerless to empowered, from holding your breath breathing easy? Visit lindabucher.com.