Critical Commentary on Stephen Covey s The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People By: Chelsea Fleming
Habit 1- Be Proactive This habit personally really opened my eyes; before reading this book I was a reactive person. I remember my life a few years ago; it was really hard for me because it was just me, my mom, and my siblings. We weren t really talking to our family at the time because some stuff was going on between my mom and her sisters. I remember I let this family fight affect me so much that I started thinking that I couldn t control what was happening, and I couldn t control myself when it happened. This had such a negative effect on me emotionally and mentally. When something would happen, and my family would say hurtful things I would believe them and become so consumed with the thoughts they put into my head that I started to become who they said I was. During those years I allowed my environment to affect me on a deep level. I didn t believe that I could do anything about it, and I let it ruin years of my life. But after reading this chapter I look back to those years and realize that I did have a choice on how that drama would affect me. I could choose between being reactive, or being proactive. Without realizing it I chose to be a reactive person and allow my environment affect my moods and my productivity in my life. I like the message behind this chapter because now I know that I don t need to let my environment affect my mood. I figured out that I was choosing to be proactive when a few weeks ago the weather was ugly; it was grey and cold and snowy for days. A few years ago the weather would have affected my mood so much that I would be depressed during the bad weather, but after reading this chapter I felt the change because those few days I was happy. I didn t let the overcast sky dictate my mood that week. I have also been working on focusing more on my circle of influence more than my circle of concern, and the other aspects of this chapter, but the
main thing that I have been working toward is my proactivity. I am now choosing to be proactive in all aspects of my life; my job, school, and my home life. Habit 2- Begin with the End in Mind When I first started reading this chapter, or habit I was confused. Yes I ve always kind of had an idea of what my life would be like when I was older. I wanted the general idea of being happy, having a job that I love, maybe even have a husband and kids. Like I said that was just the general idea of what I wanted my life to be like, and where I wanted to be. So when I first started to do the imagination exercise I couldn t see specifics within my current vision for the future. Where am I going to be in regards to location, my job, and my personal life? It took me a long while to figure out the specifics for my goals, I m still slowly trying to see myself in the future. I m slowly beginning to see the end in mind. I realize that until this book I was letting others, and my circumstances shape who I am and what direction I was going in. One example of this is my mom was a cop when I was younger, and I had always admired her for that. So when she quit and would talk to me about her job and her experiences of being a cop, I found myself thinking that I wanted to do that as well. Since I didn t have specific goals for my life I attached myself to my mom s dream and I took it over. I convinced myself that I wanted to be a cop just like her, when in reality I thought it was cool that my mom went after her dream and I wanted it to be my dream too. The exercises in this book sound easy as you read them, but when you begin to do the exercises like the exercise of seeing yourself in the future, it s difficult. Now that I have begun the process of beginning with the end in mind, I m starting the process of inner reflection to figure out what I want the end to be like. I am figuring out more
specific goals and I am no longer allowing other people or my circumstances dictate who I am as a person. Habit 3- Put First Things First As I have been saying this book has opened my eyes to the fact that I am in control of my life, no one else is. This book has given me the information I needed to start taking control of my life. I think that this habit was the most difficult for me because I am a people pleaser. I never say no to something because then I feel guilty. So this habit showed me that it is okay to say no to things without feeling guilty. I ve been practicing this with simple things in my life, like when friends ask me to hang out but I have homework that s due, or I have to work I say no. I say no because right now in my life those are important to me, school is extremely important because it s a major stepping stone for me to fulfill the end that I see for myself. Another important thing to me is family, I hate to say this but sometimes in the past I would blow off plans with my family so I could hang out with friends, and that s not a very nice thing to do. Now I am working on managing my time better between my work, school, friends, and family. I was never very good at managing my time before but through reading this book and this habit I am getting better at realizing what is the most important in my life and what isn t as important. Habit 4- Think Win-Win https://www.stephencovey.com/7habits/7habits-habit4.php Conclusion
It s difficult because these exercises force me to look inside myself and ask myself what I want. I have to ask myself tough questions that I have never really asked myself before. I m forcing myself to be accountable to me, and who I want to be. This is all personal and only you can do this and that s why it s such a difficult book to read.