Lasting Change Why We Want it so Badly and Achieve it so Rarely Proverbs 10:9

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(Part 1) Lasting Change Why We Want it so Badly and Achieve it so Rarely Proverbs 10:9 He who walks in integrity walks securely, but he who perverts his ways will be found out. Proverbs 10:9 (NASB) Question: Why do our attempts to change so often fail? Model: Behavior Speech Thoughts Beliefs Attitudes Values Integrity Principle: Integrity is the prerequisite for lasting change. 1

(Part 1) Lasting Change Why We Want it so Badly and Achieve it so Rarely Proverbs 10:9 What is Integrity? Complete moral innocence State or quality of being complete, undivided moral soundness, upright, honesty Walking Honestly Your life and your words are telling the same story Comes from the same root word as integrate to bring unity and wholeness to division Synonyms = sincere, authentic, real, consistent Why is Integrity Essential for Lasting Change? - 3 Reasons 1. Relationships are impossible without integrity. With God John 4:23-24, Psalm 15 With Yourself Psalm 32:2-5 With Others Ephesians 4:15 2

(Part 1) Lasting Change Why We Want it so Badly and Achieve it so Rarely Proverbs 10:9 2. Peace is impossible without integrity. And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body; and be thankful. Colossians 3:15 (NASB) 3. Impact is impossible without integrity. Like a trampled spring and a polluted well is a righteous man who gives way before the wicked. Proverbs 25:26 (NASB) 3

(Part 1) Lasting Change Why We Want it so Badly and Achieve it so Rarely Proverbs 10:9 Application / Discussion Questions: 1. What did you learn about lasting change that was helpful to you? Explain. 2. Why do most of our attempts to change fall short? What s missing in the process? 3. Give the three reasons why integrity is essential for lasting change? With which of these reasons do you most identify? Why? 4. What aspect of your life do you think needs to be more integrated? What steps will you take to follow David s example in Psalm 139:23-24? Be specific. 4

(Part 2) Motivation How to Do What s Best When You Feel Like it the Least James 3:1-18 Introduction: Why is it so difficult to get started and almost impossible to keep going? Model: Behavior Speech Thoughts Beliefs Attitudes Values Integrity 1

(Part 2) The Dynamics of Change for Life Integration: The Context: James 3:1-18 Motivation How to Do What s Best When You Feel Like it the Least James 3:1-18 1 Not many of you should presume to be teachers, my brothers, because you know that we who teach will be judged more strictly. 2 We all stumble in many ways. If anyone is never at fault in what he says, he is a perfect man, able to keep his whole body in check. 3 When we put bits into the mouths of horses to make them obey us, we can turn the whole animal. 4 Or take ships as an example. Although they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are steered by a very small rudder wherever the pilot wants to go. 5 Likewise the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. 6 The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole person, sets the whole course of his life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell. 7 All kinds of animals, birds, reptiles and creatures of the sea are being tamed and have been tamed by man, 8 but no man can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. 9 With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in God's likeness. 10 Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers, this should not be. 11 Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring? 12 My brothers, can a fig tree bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Neither can a salt spring produce fresh water. 13 Who is wise and understanding among you? Let him show it by his good life, by deeds done in the humility that comes from wisdom. 14 But if you harbor bitter envy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast about it or deny the truth. 15 Such "wisdom" does not come down from heaven but is earthly, unspiritual, of the devil. 16 For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice. 17 But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere. 18 Peacemakers who sow in peace raise a harvest of righteousness. 2

Motivation How to Do What s Best (Part 2) When You Feel Like it the Least James 3:1-18 Promise of Judgment = Motivation Through Accountability James 3:1 The Tongue = Fruit of Our Inner Life James 3:2-8 Positive Potential James 3:2-5 Negative Impact James 3:6-8 The Problem James 3:9-12 Identified = duplicity James 3:9-10 Roots = heart James 3:11 Fruit = behavior James 3:12 Wisdom = Roots of Our Inner Life James 3:13-17 Negative Roots = Negative Impact James 3:13-16 Positive Roots = Positive Impact James 3:17 Promise of Reward = Motivation Through Hope James 3:18 3

(Part 2) Motivation How to Do What s Best When You Feel Like it the Least James 3:1-18 Three Motivational Principles from James 3:1-18 1. The Principle of Certain judgment. James 3:1 2. The Principle of Future reward. James 3:18 3. The Principle of Strategic application. James 3: 2-5 Discussion Questions: 1. Why is motivation such a problem for most of us? 2. Discuss what aspect of this message you think will be most helpful for you in developing lasting motivation. Explain why. 3. How will you specifically apply the three motivational principles to your life situation? 4

The Tongue God s Tool for (Part 3) Transformation James 3:2-12 Introduction: Lasting change always occurs below the water line. Model: Behavior Speech Thoughts Beliefs Attitudes Values Integrity Thesis = Our Tongue is the Window of Our Soul "The good man out of the good treasure of his heart brings forth what is good; and the evil man out of the evil treasure brings forth what is evil; for his mouth speaks from that which fills his heart. Luke 6:45 (NASB) 1

The Tongue God s Tool for (Part 3) Transformation James 3:2-12 Understanding the Power of Our Tongue: 1. The Principle If you can control your tongue, you can control your life. 2 We all stumble in many ways. If anyone is never at fault in what he says, he is a perfect man, able to keep his whole body in check. James 3:2 (NIV) 2. The Proof Our tongue is a small, but powerful instrument to institute major changes in our lives. 3 When we put bits into the mouths of horses to make them obey us, we can turn the whole animal. 4 Or take ships as an example. Although they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are steered by a very small rudder wherever the pilot wants to go. 5 Likewise the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. James 3:3-5a (NIV) 3. The Warning Our tongue is not only powerful, but a dangerous and formidable foe. 5b Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. 6 The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole person, sets the whole course of his life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell. 7 All kinds of animals, birds, reptiles and creatures of the sea are being tamed and have been tamed by man, 8 but no man can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. James 3:5b-8 (NIV) 2

The Tongue God s Tool for (Part 3) Transformation James 3:2-12 4. The Reason Our tongue reveals the true condition of our hearts. 9 With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in God's likeness. 10 Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers, this should not be. 11 Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring? 12 My brothers, can a fig tree bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Neither can a salt spring produce fresh water. James 3:9-12 (NIV) See Matthew 12:33-37 and Jeremiah 17:9 Application: Where do we go from here? 1. Get a new heart 2 Corinthians 5:17 2. Start listening to your speech to look below the water line. 3. Determine to deal with core issues. 4. Commit to bring your speech under the lordship of Christ. Psalm 141:3 3

The Tongue God s Tool for (Part 3) Transformation James 3:2-12 Discussion Questions: 1. Why is the tongue so vital to any lasting change of significance in our lives? 2. What does our tongue reveal about us? Read Matthew 12:33-37. 3. With which problems relating to the tongue do you struggle? Complaining Bragging Lying Gossiping Criticizing Talking crudely Talking flippantly Talking condescendingly Talking too much Talking abrasively With which one do you struggle most? 4. List three practical steps you could take to allow God s spirit to bridle your tongue: 1. 2. 3. 4

(Part 4) Warning: When Changing What You Don t Know Will Kill You 2 Corinthians 3 Introduction: The greatest danger in seeking to change for the better is believing it s simply a matter of your will. Not that we are competent in ourselves to claim anything for ourselves, but our competence comes from God. He has made us competent as ministers of a new covenant not of the letter but of the Spirit; for the letter kills, but the Spirit gives life. 2 Corinthians 3:5-6 (NIV) Back to the Basics: But we all, with unveiled face beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory, just as from the Lord, the Spirit. 2 Corinthians 3:18 (NASB) Change is a work of the Spirit. Change is a by-product of a personal, accurate and deepening relationship with God. Change occurs from the inside out. The goal of change is Christ-like character. Change is a progressive on-going process. 1

(Part 4) Warning: When Changing What You Don t Know Will Kill You 2 Corinthians 3 A Biblical Theology of Change: I. Salvation: It Begins at Spiritual Birth: I tell you the truth, unless a man is born of water and the Spirit, he cannot enter the kingdom of God. John 3:5 (NIV) The Gospel The Good News: For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life. John 3:16 (NIV) Justification: A legal declaration of our standing before God. He takes away our sin legally. He imputes the righteousness of Christ. It is a point in time. It is by grace we are saved, through faith. II. Sanctification: Like newborn babies, crave pure spiritual milk so that by it you may grow up in your salvation 1 Peter 2:2 (NIV) I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me. Galatians 2:20 (NIV) Progressive Sanctification: A continuous process of becoming more and more righteous or holy, in daily experience. What do we do when we blow it? If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. 1 John 1:9 (NIV) 2

(Part 4) Warning: When Changing What You Don t Know Will Kill You 2 Corinthians 3 How do we become more holy? The body of Christ Personal Time with God Ordinances Conviction and Empowering Practice of Spiritual Disciplines III. Glorification: we know that when He appears, we shall be like Him, for we shall see Him as He is. 1 John 3:2 (NIV) Four Key Concepts to Put It All Together : 1. Spirituality is the life of Christ. (John 14:20, Phil. 1:21, Ephesians 3:17, Galatians 5:19-20) 2. Spirituality is the life of Christ reproduced in the believer. (2 Corinthians 5:17, Galatians 2:20, 2 Corinthians 4:5-10) 3. Spirituality is the life of Christ reproduced in the believer by the Holy Spirit. (Acts 1:8, Galatians 5:16 & 25) 4. Spirituality is the life of Christ reproduced in the believer by the Holy Spirit in obedience (response) to the Word of God. (Hebrews 5:11-14, James 1:19-27) Conclusion: The Work of God The Word of God Personal Commitment Other Believers + Time and Trials Maturity The issue isn t trying harder, it s training in grace. 3

(Part 4) Warning: When Changing What You Don t Know Will Kill You 2 Corinthians 3 Discussion Questions: ON 1. Why does change require more than will power? 2. What aspect of this teaching helped you most? 3. What was most unclear or confusing? Discuss and help one another in your group. 4. Read Philippians 2:12-13 and discuss the balance of God s part and our part in seeing change become a reality in our daily experience. References: True Spirituality Francis Schaeffer The Pursuit of Holiness Jerry Bridges The Spirit of the Disciplines Dallas Willard 30 Days to Understand the Christian Life Max E. Anders 4

(Part 5) The Secret of Lasting Change: Building Below the Water Line James 3:13-18 Introduction: How can we know if we re really changing for the better? The Test: Who is wise and understanding among you? Let him show it by his good life, by deeds done in the humility (gentleness), that comes (flows) from wisdom. James 3:13 (NIV) Model: Behavior Speech Thoughts Beliefs Attitudes Values Integrity Wisdom = Core Values + Beliefs We Hold About What Makes One Successful in Life Summary: Lasting change demands we examine the source (core values and beliefs) of our attitudes and actions. 1

(Part 5) The Secret of Lasting Change: Building Below the Water Line James 3:13-18 Man s Wisdom: Me Centered attempts to achieve and appear righteous to satisfy ego needs and fulfill private agendas. 14 But if you harbor bitter envy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast about it or deny the truth. 15 Such wisdom does not come down from heaven but is earthly, unspiritual, of the devil. 16 For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice. James 3:14-16 (NIV) Characteristics of Man s Wisdom James 3:14 Source of Man s Wisdom James 3:15 Results of Man s Wisdom James 3:16 2

(Part 5) The Secret of Lasting Change: Building Below the Water Line James 3:13-18 God s Wisdom: Christ Centered dependency that seeks to obey God and serve others to fulfill God s agenda. But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, reasonable, full of mercy and good fruits, unwavering, without hypocrisy. James 3:17 (NIV) Characteristics of God s Wisdom Pure If I m wise, I won t compromise my integrity. Peaceable If I m wise, I won t antagonize your anger. Gentle If I m wise, I won t minimize other s feelings. Reasonable If I m wise, I won t criticize other s suggestions. Summary: God s wisdom will be revealed in lives characterized by personal holiness and relational oneness. Results of God s Wisdom Full of mercy and good fruit If I m wise, I won t emphasize others mistakes. Unwavering If I m wise, I won t show partiality. Without hypocrisy If I m wise, I won t disguise my faults. Summary: God s wisdom will result in compassionate, authentic, and vulnerable relationships. 3

(Part 5) The Secret of Lasting Change: Building Below the Water Line James 3:13-18 Application: How Do You Get God s Wisdom? Action Step In this way they will know God s secret, which is Christ himself. He is the key that opens all the hidden treasures of God s wisdom and knowledge. Colossians 2:2-3 (GN) 1. Receive the Son 1 John 5:11-12 2. Pray Ask God for Wisdom James 1:5 3. Dig for God s Wisdom Daily Proverbs 2:1-5 4. Get Around Wise People Proverbs 13:20 Discussion Questions: 1. What insights about changing have you gained from this series? 2. What progress have you seen occur in your life? 3. In what ways do you see man s wisdom operating in your life? God s wisdom? 4. What would trusting God look like in your life if lasting, Christ-like change were your goal? Resources: 1 st Steps The Fight by John White Victory Tired of Trying to Measure Up by Jeffrey Vanvonderen Motives Inside Out by Larry Crabb; Finding God by Larry Crabb Wisdom Knowing God by J.I. Packard 4