SOME TIPS FOR RAMADAN FROM SHK OMAR SULEIMAN www.alfalah.tv RECONCILE (STOP THE FIGHTING AND BICKERING) The Prophet (salallahu alayhi wa salam) said: He who boycotts his brother for more than three days and dies during this period will be from the people of hellfire. He (salallahu alayhi wa salam) also said: The doors of Heaven are opened every Monday and Thursday, and Allah pardons in these days every individual servant who is not a polytheist, except those who have enmity between them; Allah Says: Delay them until they reconcile with each other The worst thing in the world you could do to your Ramadan is completely render it void because of a dispute you have with someone. It contradicts the entire essence of fasting and seeking the pardon of your Lord because it s not befitting to request forgiveness if you re unable to forgive others. The doors of heaven are opened every Monday and Thursday on normal days which is why the Prophet (salallahu alayhi wa salam) would fast them, but they are open the entire month of Ramadan. Imagine if every day as your fasting, Quran recitation, etc. is presented to Allah this month, He responds to the angels to delay your pardon until you reconcile with your brother. Ramadan is the best opportunity to write that email or text message to that lost family member or friend and say it s not worth it to lose Allah s forgiveness over this and I M SORRY. Even if you ve been avoiding someone and there is an implicit, unofficial, or unspoken boycott, make sure you end that today so that you don t jeopardize your fasting.
Don t do it for that person, do it for yourself and for the sake of Allah. Oh Allah, clear our hearts from enmity, give us the ability to forgive, and pardon us for we have wronged ourselves. Ameen FOR THE BUSY ONES WORKING TO EARN OR SOME OF US INDULDGING IN VAIN ISSUES ENSURE TO PRAY ON TIME I know it sounds elementary but read the whole thing. When the Prophet (salallahu alayhi wa salam) was asked what the MOST beloved action to Allah was, he would consistently answer Prayer performed on time (Bukhari, Nasaai). Allah (Subhanahu wa ta ala) describes the later generations of Bani Israeel as having Lost the prayer because they stopped praying on time (19:59). This led them to pursue their evil empty desires and meet destruction in the hereafter. SO here is my Ramadan resolution: Even though technically speaking the absolute end of the time of prayer is the entrance of the next prayer (with the exception of Fajr), force yourself to pray Dhuhur, Asr, and Isha within 1 hour of the adhan, and Fajr and Maghrib within 30 minutes of the adhan. Obviously Maghrib is really preferred within an even shorter time and Isha can be delayed, but this is an exercise for the one who is having trouble praying on time. You can obviously also sometimes delay any prayer within a permissible time frame if you have an obstacle such as an exam, work, etc. But make that the exception and not the norm. PRAY THE SUNNAH (VOLUNTARY) PRAYERS These prayers guard your obligatory prayers and are an essential part of the day for the believer. Now a lot of times we can become lazy in performing them or just do some of them every once in a while, but Ramadan is the PERFECT time to make them regular because it structures 3 out of the 4 prayers that have sunnahs attached to them anyway! Check this out: Fajr sunnah is easy because you re already awake for suhoor Maghrib sunnah is easy because you re praying it early Isha sunnah is easy because you re praying taraweeh anyway THE SECRET BOND (PRAY FOR THEM WITHOUT TELLING THEM) The supplication of a Muslim for his brother in his absence will certainly be answered. Every time he makes a supplication for good for his brother, the angel appointed for this particular task says: Ameen! May it be for you too. [Muslim]. Since the dua of the fasting person is accepted this is the best time to do it. But here is how you make it unique:
Do it for someone who wouldn t expect it from you without telling that person to make it most sincere and for the sake of Allah. Diversify the duas and people you make dua for so that you can be given different things. So in particular think of a person in each of the following categories and make dua for them daily: o A person who has good qualities but hasn t been guided to faith. Make dua for guidance for that person so that perhaps Allah grants you further guidance. o A person who is involved in Islamic work, that Allah accepts from them and keeps them sincere so that perhaps Allah uses you for His cause and keeps you sincere. o A person who is committing a public sin. Make dua that Allah forgives that person. Imagine if the dua is accepted for a major public sin, then the angels will say ameen for you also and perhaps Allah will forgive you for both your public and private sins. o A person who is ill, that Allah grants him or her full health so that perhaps Allah will either heal you if you are sick or preserve your health for you if you are healthy. o A person who is struggling financially or suffering a worldly hardship, ask Allah to help that person so that perhaps Allah will help you in that same situation. o A person who has a particular blessing that you wish for, that Allah maintains that blessing upon that person without making it a means of taking him or her away from goodness in the hereafter so that perhaps Allah will grant it for you or maintain your blessings upon you without making them a means of harm for you. EAT TOGETHER So its from the sunnah to eat together, especially with family, and also to have good conversation accompany the food. Some of the greatest sayings of the Prophet (salallahu alayhi wa salam) were said over a meal So use your meals to reconnect with family and friends, demonstrate good manners, and have beneficial conversations. Put away the phones, tvs, laptops, etc. Particularly for those of you whose parents are still alive and live with you, one of my greatest regrets from my childhood is not eating with my parents more often. You have no idea how soothing it is to them for you to eat with them and TALK to them. For those of you who don t have family with you, invite good people to eat with you and try to use that as an opportunity to form or stabilize your bond with righteous people. BUSY YOUR TOUNGUE WITH ZIKR In one of my favorite narrations, Ibn Masood (ra) reported that the Messenger of Allah (salallahu alayhi wa salam) said, I met Ibrahim (alayhis salam) on the Night of Ascension and he said to me: Oh Muhammad! Convey my greetings to your Ummah, and tell them that Jannah has a vast plain of pure soil and sweet water and is set as a plain leveled land. The plants grow there by uttering: SubhanAllah wal hamdulillah wa la ilaha ilallah wallahu Akbar (Allah is free from imperfection, praise be to Allah, there is no true god except Allah, and Allah is Greatest). [At-Tirmidhi]. DON T SLOW DOWN IN THE MIDDLE 10
We ve officially arrived at the middle 10 nights when the numbers at taraweeh dwindle and Ramadan enthusiasts take a break waiting for the last 10 nights to get to Khatam-hopping and worship hard! Ok, maybe that s a little exaggerated. But I think we ve all come to expect the annual Ramadan dip at this time of the year. So here are my thoughts and tips on how to avoid it: 1. The acceptance of an act is its continuation as Ibn Al Qayyim (ra) mentions. Our hope should be that we are leaving sins in Ramadan and developing good deeds that will continue throughout the year. If you re already falling off WITHIN Ramadan, that s a blaring siren that you may not be doing it right. 2. Read slightly more Quran in these 10 days than you did it the first 10 so as to prepare yourself for the last 10 nights. 3. Appoint someone to call you out if you re suddenly slacking with your prayers in the masjid. 4. In order to be from those who surpass the rest (Al Sabiqoon), make sure you re outdoing everyone in your family and/or close circle of friends. 5. Recognize the opportunity to vie for Allahs love here. As people fall off in these 10 nights, stand up in prayer and say Oh Allah, I am still here standing seeking Your pleasure alone, hoping for Your forgiveness, and asking for Your highest garden, Al Firdaws May Allah make us amongst those who progress in these next 10 nights and reward us with the highest level of Jannatul Firdaws. Ameen! DISCARD THE WRONG FRIENDS The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: Among Allah s servants are people who are neither Prophets nor martyrs, but whom the Prophets and martyrs will deem fortunate because of their high status with Allah. They asked: O Messenger of Allah! Tell us who they are. He said: They are people who loved each other for Allah s sake, without being related to one another or being tied to one another by the exchange of wealth. By Allah, their faces will be luminous and they will be upon light. They will feel no fear when the people will be feeling fear and they will feel no grief when the people will be grieving. Then he read the verse: Behold, on the friends of Allah there shall be no fear, nor shall they grieve. (Abu Dawud) The friends that you make solely for the sake of Allah are beyond special people and there is no time easier to make that friend than Ramadan or Hajj. Perhaps it could be through sitting with someone you never really connected to before at the time of iftar, doing I itikaf with someone in the last 10 nights, someone who is with you on some Ramadan committee, etc. But Ramadan definitely provides a unique opportunity to make new friends for the sake of Allah. MAKE SURE YOUR CRY FOR THE SAKE OF ALLAH EVEN IF IT IS ONCE
The Prophet (salallahu alayhi wa salam) informed us in various narrations that the eye that sheds a tear for Allah will never be touched by the fire and its owner will be in the shade of Allah on the day of judgment. Abu Bakr As-Sideeq (may Allah be pleased with him) was well known for many things. Amongst them was his frequent crying. Every time he prayed he cried, and in fact it was difficult for people praying behind him to hear his recitation because he was always crying. Despite that, once during his rule a group of non-muslim men came from Yemen and asked to hear the recitation of the Quran. As the recitation began, the men immediately broke down into tears and Abu Bakr cried at their crying and said this is how we used to be before our hearts became hard. DON T GIVE WHAT YOU ARE TIRED OF AS CHARITY When we hear about charity in a khutbah/lecture, it s almost ALWAYS attached to a fundraiser. As a result, people fail to understand that charity is a matter of tazkiya and personal spiritual development. No this is not a fundraiser, so read it all the way through. You will not attain the reward of piety until you spend out of that which you love (3:92) Most people only give their spare change, unused clothes, and whatever else is convenient to give. Allah (subhanahu wa ta ala) however demands that we spend from what is most beloved to us. Unfortunately, we ve limited the scope of charity to money. When this verse was revealed, a great companion by the name of Abu Talha (RA) came to the Prophet (salallahu alayhi wa salam) to give his favorite garden named Bairuha, which was almost like a mini resort behind the masjid, in charity. It was a beautiful garden with springs and palm trees that the Prophet (salallahu alayhi wa salam) used to enjoy basking in. The idea was that if I want the gardens of the hereafter, I should give my most precious possession, the gardens of this world, in charity. Abdullah Ibn Omar (RA) was also once riding his favorite and most beloved camel. And in the midst of admiring it, he decided to stop over on the side of the road and give it to a poor old man. We give charity because we no longer want or need certain things; the companions on the other hand gave what they wanted most as a proof of their faith to Allah. This form of charity is a wonderful tazkiya exercise and so as a challenge to you and I: Think of something REALLY precious to you and give it away seeking Allah s reward. It could be your favorite clothes, jewelry, etc. But use it as a means of seeking jannah instead of whatever temporary pleasure it yields you in this world. REMEMBER DEATH EVERY NIGHT BECAUSE YOU MIGHT OUTLAST RAMADAN
Every single night, Allah takes our souls and we have no idea whether or not they will be returned to see another day of this world. Imagine how much better we would be as people if we treated sleep like death? The news this morning caused me to reflect on three key resolutions: 1. Observing all of the bedtime sunnahs of the Prophet (salallahu alayhi wa salam). Amongst them are: o Making wudu before sleeping o Reading Surah Al Mulk (protection from the punishment of the grave) and Al Sajda o Laying on your right side o Reading the sunnah adhkar (remembrances): Its amazing that if you die in your sleep having recited these words, the Prophet (salallahu alayhi wa salam) said that you die in a state of pure tawheed and are guaranteed Jannah 2. Making sure we do not go to sleep while being upset with family/friends or making them upset. Losing a loved one is painful enough. I can t imagine what its like to lose someone you love in the midst of a dispute. 3. Finally, the most important lesson to take from this is that its absolutely essential to ask yourself every night if you re ready to meet your Creator. This nightly self-questioning will surely lead you to abandon habitual sin and increase the quality of your good deeds. USE THE DRIVING TIME OF TIME SITTING DOWN DOING THE 9-5 WISELY One of the easiest wasted opportunities to please Allah is while driving. Most will listen to radio news, music, make random phone calls, or just vent to themselves about traffic. But in reality, driving provides a unique opportunity for reflection and switching out your music CDs (yes even halal nasheeds) DON T WASTE TIME ARGUING EVEN ON RELIGIOUS MATTERS It s very easy to forgive when you yourself have your own share of transgressions, or to say, I don t want to argue when you know you re losing the argument anyway. But it is EXTREMELY hard to stop arguing when you re winning. Why? Because it s a boost to your pride and it feels good to win, especially if you don t really like the other party. It s your chance to humiliate that person and put him in his place. SPEND THE NIGHT WISELY AND DIVERSIFY YOUR IBADATA 1. Do not be like the majority of people who wait for the 27th to spend a night in worship. The Prophet (salallahu alayhi wa salam) stayed in I itikaf (seclusion) for all 10 nights seeking Allahs pleasure. We have no guarantee that laylatul qadr will be the 27th night and in fact with moon sighting issues (yes im bringing it back up :)), we don t even know for a fact which night is the
27th. So seek laylatul qadr every night and you will certainly catch it. Not only that, but you would have spent the other 9 nights conversing with your Creator, receiving His mercy, and elevating your status. 2. Catch Fajr and Isha in congregation. `Uthman bin `Affan (May Allah be pleased with him) reported: I heard the Messenger of Allah (sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam) saying: One who performs `Isha prayer in congregation, is as if he has performed Salat for half of the night. And one who performs the Fajr prayer in congregation, is as if he has performed Salat the whole night. [Muslim] 3. Pray the entire set of taraweeh with the Imam. Taraweeh is qiyaamul layl. Yes its permissible to pray as little or as much of it as you want on any given day. But the Prophet (salallahu alayhi wa salam) said that whoever prays with the Imam until he leaves would receive the full reward of qiyaamul layl for the whole night. No one of us will be able to spend the entire night praying so this, along with tip 3, is a good way to ensure that you get the entire credit. 4. Spend the night in different forms of worship so that you don t get bored. You don t have to spend the whole night in prayer. Instead you can take breaks and just make dua. You can also specify a certain number of chapters of the Quran you want to ready every night. You can also read a translation of Quran or some ahadeeth as a break between prayers. Just keep yourself engaged. PERFECT THE KEYBOARD CHARACTER AND ALSO MINIMISE ITS USE 1. So here are a few tips I hope we can implement to improve our Internet character: 2. If you wouldn t say it to someone s face, don t say behind a keyboard. 3. With all of the heated discussions that take place online, passions are bound to be enflamed. It is a trying time for the ummah and all of us feel very strongly about certain things. If you are unable to hold yourself back from personally insulting people while holding your strong views, you jeopardize your fasting and Ramadan. So it s best to not type anything if you can t be civil. Just hold your fingers and your tongue. 4. Political commentary is one thing, dua is another. If you spend more time typing about the issues of the ummah than making dua for the wellbeing of it, now is a good time to shift your focus. 5. When it comes to dealing with the opposite gender online, be modest in the way you address them. 6. Don t type when you re angry with a particular person! 7. Finally, when someone personally insults you, don t respond but instead seek the reward from Allah. I hope all of us, starting with me, can start to make these changes and hopefully spare ourselves from unknowingly adding extra sins to our slates that we cant afford to have. DO TAWBAH PROPERLY
But one of the most insincere forms of tawba (repentance) is one that lacks a sense of regret or even acknowledgment of the sin. That s why Imam Sufyan Al Thawri (ra) taught that you should actually try to sit and remember your sins, cry for them, and then seek forgiveness from Allah for them. This remembrance is not done in a way that brings about self-hatred or despair because you immediately remember that Allah is far greater than your sin! That s the beauty of the part of the dua You love to pardon, it shows how confident you are that Allah will pardon you despite how bad it might be. This exercise not only ensures that you ve met the conditions of tawba, it also induces those stubborn tears, deals a blow to your pride, and brings you closer to your compassionate Sustainer. ENSURE YOU DO CYBER (MOBILE PHONES, INTERNET, TV, RADIO, COMMS, ETC) ITIKAF The world of the Internet is both a blessing and a curse. On one hand: it provides us access to Islamic lectures/information and allows us to establish the ties of friendship and family. On the other hand: it provides us access to not so Islamic things and allows us to destroy our ties of friendship and family with a dumb email or an ill-mannered form of writing. So lets face it, it really can go both ways. But one of the greatest casualties of increased Internet usage is our ability to engage in tadabbur (reflection) and tafakkur (contemplation). In fact, you may notice people, even in I itikaf (seclusion) in the masjid these last 10 nights, who never part with their smart phones. And no, they re not all just reading Quran We re just so addicted to the internet/phone/ipad that we don t know what to do with ourselves anymore without these things and so we never experience the true sweetness of alone time. All of the pious predecessors were known to have an hour of the day, a day of the week, etc. in which they would completely seclude themselves from everyone including family. In our day and age, even when we seclude ourselves we still take calls, check emails, and update statuses. So here s a tip for your sanity and mine. Spend some time every week in cyber I itikaf. That means no phone calls, no FB statuses, no tweets, etc. Just focus on answering the call of Allah, checking the status of your faith, and tweeting your love to your Lord. FINISH STRONG DON T GAS OUT JUST BECAUSE IS NO LONGER 27th CONTINUE THE ACTS ALL YEAR LONG Depending on what part of the world you are in, you have anywhere from 1-3 days left of Ramadan. Many of us have regrets that we didn t make the most of it. We may have had nights where we didn t wake up for Qiyam, days in which we didn t control our tongues properly, or spans of Ramadan in which we slacked off with our Quran reading. But now is not the time to cry. Nor is it the time to splurge in Eid shopping and act like the month is over. Reflect on this wonderful statement by Imam Ibn Rajab (RA) in his Lataaif: Let those who have failed to make the most of this month of Ramadan end it with good, because actions are judged by their endings.
The last part of that statement about actions being judged by their endings is an authentic hadeeth and one that should give us much hope. Here s my challenge: 1. Make this last day or two of Ramadan the BEST days you have spent all month and count on Allah to judge your entire Ramadan by that last day. 2. Spend the last Asr-Maghrib of Ramadan in reading Quran, supplication, and remembrance. If you can do I itikaf (seclusion) for that last period in the masjid then do so. If not, then try to make it a time of peace, quiet, and reflection. 3. Cry your heart out in that supplication and ask Allah to forgive you for all of your shortcomings in the month and give you the full reward of Laylatul Qadr EVEN if you missed it. 4. DO NOT waste your time arguing over moon sighting now. You are not in a position to change anything. If you will differ from your community in regards to the Eid day, then do so quietly. 5. Oh Allah, this is what we have presented, understanding our shortcomings but still depending on Your mercy for acceptance. May Allah allow us to finish this month strong. May we meet Allah (subhanahu wa ta ala) completely forgiven, basking in His mercy, freed from the gates of hellfire, and registered in the highest level of jannatul firdaws.