DESTINY TRAINING LEVEL 2 MODULE 4 CLASS 02 THE ROLES OF THE PARENTS AND THE CHILDREN Biblical Reference: Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Honor your father and mother (which is the first commandment with a promise) so that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth (Ephesians 6:1-3). I. CLASS OBJECTIVES 2. To understand that each member of the family has a role to play. 3. To understand how to take on responsibility according to each role in the family. 4. To give honor, glory and praise to our Heavenly Father for the parents he gave us. II. INTRODUCTION A. God Blessed Abraham Genesis 12:1-3 (NKJV) 1 Now the Lord had said to Abram: Get out of your country, from your family and from your father s house, to a land that I will show you. 2 I will make you a great nation; I will bless you and make your name great; and you shall be a blessing. 3 I will bless those who bless you, and I will curse him who curses you; and in you all the families of the earth shall be blessed. 1. God s blessings for Abraham were abundant. He prospered everywhere he went. He came to be the father of faith leaving a foundation of hope for future generations. 2. Each and everyone one of us is included in Abraham s promise of blessing: that the blessing of Abraham might come upon the Gentiles in Christ Jesus, that we might receive the promise of the Spirit through faith (Galatians 3:14). In verse 16 it is declared that: Now to Abraham and his Seed were the promises made. He does not say, And to seeds, as of many, but as of one, And to your Seed, who is Christ. Verse 29 says: And if you are Christ s, then you are Abraham s seed, and heirs according to the promise.
B. God Has Blessed Abraham and His Descendants with the Same Blessings Genesis 17:6-7 (NKJV) 6 I will make you exceedingly fruitful; and I will make nations of you, and kings shall come from you. 7 And I will establish My covenant between Me and you and your descendants after you in their generations, for an everlasting covenant, to be God to you and your descendants after you. III. LESSON: THE ROLES OF THE PARENTS AND THE CHILDREN A. Parental Roles 1. Provide good instructions Proverbs 22:15 (NKJV) Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child; the rod of correction will drive it far from him. Children tend to believe they know everything; but it is their parents duty to guide them with love and by example so they can walk the path of truth. There are many paths through life but there is only one way that will lead us to the Father and it s through Jesus. If we are successful in getting our children to establish an intimate relationship with God, we will have fulfilled much of our duty as parents. 2. Meet their needs 1 Timothy 5:8 (NKJV) But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever. 3. Teach moral values according to God s Word Ephesians 6:4 (NKJV) And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord. The discipline shown towards our children should be balanced. It shouldn t be too drastic or too permissive; both extremes are dangerous. In the case of Eli s children, whom he never disciplined, it led to their pre-mature death (see 1 Samuel 3:11-14). 4. Effective correction Proverbs 13:24 (NKJV) He who spares his rod hates his son, but he who loves him disciplines him promptly. Page 2 of 6
There are three fundamental aims in training our family: To edify (build up) The parents should place boundaries as the child grows up. This should reinforce any corrections that the young child needs. To this end, discipline is exercised in every aspect of life. To motivate In order for our children to become better people each day, discipline should not have a demotivating effect on them. A negative comment, attitude or gesture can destroy them emotionally and rob them of their strength to overcome things. We need to bless our children with words that will build them up and bless them as well as having a powerful word of prophesy over them. To bring comfort Children should understand that they are not fighting their battles on their own but that they can count on their parent s help and support. No matter what the issue in our child s life there need to be a sense of refuge that they can find in their parents. B. The Woman in the Family 1. The vine represents joy and fruitfulness. These are two abilities that God has given to wives. He also gave them gifts and characteristics. Solomon lists the characteristics that sum up the work of a virtuous woman: Proverbs 31:10-31 Vs. 10 She is a present sent to her husband by God because she is more valuable than rubies. Vs. 11 Her husband can trust her and she has the anointing to attract prosperity. Vs. 12 She is a blessing to her husband at all times. Vs. 13 She is hardworking. Vs. 14 She knows how to bring in resources. Vs. 15 She safeguards her family s wellbeing. Vs. 16 She thinks about leaving an inheritance for her children. Vs. 17 She is hardworking and brave. Vs. 18 She is discerning with her finances; her spirit is sensitive to God s revelations through dreams. Page 3 of 6
Vs. 19 She knows how to carry out her work. Vs. 20 She shows mercy towards those in need. Vs. 21 She takes precautions for her family. Vs. 22 She is stylish. Vs. 23 She motivates her husband in ministry. Vs. 24 She is a businesswoman. Vs. 25 She anticipates any eventuality that may arise. Vs. 26 She always has a word of wisdom to offer and knows how to put mercy into practice. Vs. 27 She knows how to take care of herself and is not a burden on anybody. Vs. 28 She knows how to earn her family s respect and admiration. Vs. 29 She is out of the ordinary and stands out amongst others. Vs. 30 She is not fooled by physical appearance as she put all her trust in God. Vs. 31 Her actions speak louder than her words. C. Sowing The Best In Our Children Paul reminds us how important reaping and harvest are. God has provided us with a strong desire to restore families. We have come to the conclusion that the greatest protection for these families is for married couples to work as a team in ministry. Galatians 6:7 (NKJV) Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, that he will also reap. 1. We sow positive words and attitudes. The language of faith does not allow us to be influenced by our circumstances. We should learn to speak out God s Word and express godly advice. Every word given by God encourages us to move toward success. 2. We sow integrity. A life of integrity is a life of intimacy with God and His Word. This will allow our children to feel confident enough to move closer to our God and be motivated to follow their parents footsteps. Page 4 of 6
3. We sow spiritually. Although salvation cannot be inherited, we can create a spiritual atmosphere that s favorable for our children to be motivated to receive Jesus into their lives. It all begins with the parents words and actions. They create the spiritual environment for the children to open up their lives to Jesus. 4. We sow discipline. The end of discipline is to offer our children guidance, not to hurt them or bring them trauma. Discipline is the stop that we put on disorderly human impulses. The author of the Book of Hebrews taught us that in the moment, discipline of any kind is not always welcomed but that it yields peaceable fruit afterwards (see Hebrews 12:11). 5. We sow the right image in them. The image we have of ourselves will be the image we have to God. If the enemy manages to destroy the image we have of ourselves, he will have managed to destroy our hopes and dreams and we will be a disadvantage to the human race. It will seem as though everyone is ahead of us. We are aware that the family has often inflicted the deepest wounds in people s lives. This affects our self-respect; self-esteem and feelings have been affected by them. The wounds can be so deep that they may feel like the character in the parable of the Good Samaritan who was hurt, mugged and abandoned on the side of the road. As parents, we need to work hard to not affect our children s self-esteem but to always speak words of blessing upon them. 6. Children should honor their parents. D. Honor Deuteronomy 5:16 (NKJV) Honor your father and your mother, as the Lord your God has commanded you, that your days may be long, and that it may be well with you in the land which the Lord your God is giving you. One of the main reasons why people fail to be successful, and live short lives is the lack of honor they show towards their Heavenly Father, and secondly, a lack of esteem and respect towards the people God chose to be their parents on earth. This also includes those people whom God has placed in their lives that are accountable for their spiritual well-being and success. We honor our parents and we must honor our Heavenly Father, especially when we are making decisions. Page 5 of 6
Here s a list of our duties as children: 1. To be obedient towards our parents (Ephesians 6:1). 2. To take their advice and teachings into account (Proverbs 1:8). 3. To bring joy to their lives (Proverbs 10:1). 4. To look after them when they are old (Proverbs 23:22). 5. To bless them always in order to have a clear understanding of things and so their lives may stand out (Proverbs 20:20). V. CONCLUSION To honor means to express admiration, esteem, respect and praise towards God and the authority He places in our lives (Ephesians 6:2-5). It is not based on how good they have been or what they will give us. Honor is not only shown towards good parents but also towards parents who perhaps were not as great. Not showing them honor is a sign that we have not forgiven them. It implies that we don t care about having a blessed life or working hard to achieve the best because maybe our parents did not do it for us either. Page 6 of 6