MY LITTLE GIRL A GUIDE TO HEALING YOUR PAST
I dedicate this to every woman who has the courage to Demand her healing. You re the real hero. You are beautiful. You are worthy of God s love. You were born for a special reason. God created you to change the world! God s love for you will never change. There is nothing you can say or do to make Him stop loving you. There is nothing anyone else can do to you or say about you to make God change His mind about you. You have so much to give this world and God s promises are for YOU! WELL DONE! You have been through a lot in your life, but God has never held that against you and it is time for you to stop holding that against you! Stand up beautiful woman of God! You have purpose! You have a reason to be here! You don t have to cry yourself to sleep anymore. You don t have to lower your standards. You don t have to chase acceptance. God Grace is sufficient for you! You are His Beloved! I m not telling you it will be easy, I m telling you it IS possible! The victory is yours! GO. SOAR.
[My little girl] A guide to healing your past I was searching through the files on my computer looking for a certain document, and I saw a photo of myself, as a child. Oh gosh, how embarrassing! I thought. I clicked the photo and suddenly I began to weep. I began to ask her questions; my little girl the innocent beauty inside of me. What was she holding on to? What happened to her? What broke her? Why wasn t she good enough? And most importantly, why is she still smiling? All of these questions flooded my heart, and from my heart the pain leaked. It hit me. My little girl needs healing. She needs to know that what happened to her was not her fault. It wasn t something she could ve changed. There wasn t anything that could ve been done. Sometimes bad things happen, but God is still God and healing is still available! As I wept, I began to think about all of the women who needed to have a very deep, heart to heart conversation with their little girl. An open, honest and transparent conversation and ask her exactly where it hurts, why it hurts and open the gates to allow the healing her little girl so much needs and deserves. Your little girl has endured things she shouldn t. She has seen things she shouldn t. And she has carried burdens that were entirely too heavy for her. But, through it all, she survived. She s been through toxic relationships, sometimey friends, let downs, let go s and she has definitely had her share of heart break from those who promised to handle it with care. You may not notice your little girl now. When you look in the mirror she is dressed in adult clothing, pretty jewelry and heels. Maybe she likes tennis shoes, t- shirts and basketball shorts. She s had to become a dressed up shell to suppress the pain, but it continues to bleed into your relationships, your family life and your alone time when she shouts the loudest. You re never good enough. You don t deserve God s love. The voids in your soul are too deep to ever be filled, even by God. You hate yourself for allowing it to go this far. You ve done things you never thought you d do. You just want the pain to end. That s your little girl screaming for help. IT S TIME TO ALLOW GOD TO HEAL HER. I want you to be healed and for that to happen, you have to go to some very scary places and be extremely honest with yourself. This journey will not be a walk in the park, but if you trust God, it is possible!
Things you will need: A journal (or you may use this ebook to write in) An open mind A willing heart The healing process is a journey. You never come to a destination in healing. God can and will heal you from your brokenness from an experience, but to continue being healed, set free and delivered from is an ongoing process of praising, thanking and continuing to trust God through it. The process of healing can be interrupted, delayed or even hindered when parts of it are skipped due to discomfort, unwillingness and denial. I understand it will be tough to grasp and at times unbearable to face, but like my mom used to always tell me and my sister, Sometimes you gotta do things you don t wanna do to get where you gotta be! This is one of those times. Are you all in? No need to wait any longer. Let s get started! [Close your eyes and grab your favorite pen] I want you to close your eyes for 2 minutes and go back to that place of pain. Please, no distractions during this time. Ask God to reveal to you what your little needs from you. That s it. Now write down any and everything you feel that the Holy Spirit is trying to tell you. Anything that comes to mind, no matter how silly or irrelevant it may seem. Write it down.
Sometimes we block things out of our mind because we don t want to deal with it, we don t know how to deal with it or we re not willing to deal with it for a number of reasons; the pain is too great, the wound is too deep or we don t believe we possess the strength to overcome it. (Romans 8:28) That s why we can be so sure that every detail in our lives of love for God is worked into something good. There s purpose in your pain. God wouldn t allow your pain to be in vain. He is turning every heartbreak, disappointment, and rejection into the foundation for your destiny! I asked you to write everything down that you felt, heard, and sensed when you closed your eyes and traveled to that place of pain. But first - I want to check in with you. Why do you need to heal? What will healing your past do for your life now? How will your life change by healing your past? What will happen if you decide not to surrender to the healing process?
Take a deep breath At this moment things are probably starting to bubble to the surface. You may be feeling things you haven t felt in a long time, have never felt or didn t expect to feel, but I want you to sit in it. Don t leave this moment. I believe this is where God wants you and where He will help you. Often times we go to God and dump everything that we are feeling on Him, but never give Him the opportunity to replenish us. This could be that moment. Sit still and wait on God. You may have heard people say, you have to heal, just let it heal, it s all a part of the healing process. But what does that really mean? What exactly is the healing process? Entering the healing process is a decision you have to make; it does not automatically go into effect after the ending of an experience. And once that decision is made, that is when the healing process will begin. No matter what it is you go through in life, everything requiring whole healing will need your permission. It s a little scary not knowing what happens during the process, which is why many people breakdown during or never find the courage to enter. I believe you are ready to heal and I believe God has given you have the courage to make it happen! And if you are hesitant, step into God s strength, God s wisdom, and God s knowledge! [Journal if you re feeling it]
Steps to healing Meet & Greet Meet Your Pain Breaking Through The Shift Your Big Ah- ha Thanksgiving & Praise Meet & Greet - Meet your pain. During the first stage of healing you will meet your pain. This is the time when you will attract your freedom by no longer denying the experiences or the pain that has shaped who you are today. {Denial can t birth freedom} Face the truth. Suppressing the negative experiences that have happened in your life will not cause them to disappear. It will only prolong the healing process, damaging you even more. As you begin to acknowledge the parts of you that you have stuffed in the corner of denial, feelings about the experience, pain that came from the past will come to the surface. This is the stage that people think they can skip and deal with the fruit of the root; the anger, the negative self- image, the lashing out, the lack of boundaries. This stage is the stepping- stone to get over to the next stage, not to skip it or end here. Think about all of the methods you have used to neglect your pain there is a lot of resistance in this stage. Ask God to help you grow through this stage. Take a deep breath and grab your favorite pen - What exactly happened to your little girl? What changed her? What was taken from her? - I know this is very hard, but give God permission to heal you. You can do this.
Breaking through. When the needle (courage) finally pops (enters the wound) the balloon (every dark place filled with pain), everything you ve held in this fragile place (your soul) comes rushing out (bubbles to the surface). Crying, sobbing, shaking, anger, guilt, shame.. A mixture of every emotion that you never knew you held - let it happen. You may experience the infamous ugly cry! That s okay, too! Get out of your head at this moment. Your mind will often persuade you to get on with the process, because you ve endured enough pain. You will make it up in your mind that you finally get it because you don t want to feel what is happening to you anymore. LET IT HAPPEN. Oh baby girl does it hurt, I know it hurts! But you have to push through! God is your source! This emotional stage is where the real work is done. Where in your body do you feel the breaking through? Understand that the reaction you have to the pain doesn t have to be pretty. It doesn t have to be right. It just has to be real. God is ready to take your burdens. He s waiting. The Shift Your Big Ah- ha. During this stage you are able to begin evaluating everything that has happened since meeting your pain again. At this moment, you should have a clearer understanding of everything that has bubbled to the surface and flooded out. Notice I did not say that you understand everything that is happening. You re taking back control and no longer being led by the pain. Remember it is still a process. ::Process:: A series of actions or steps taken in order to achieve a particular end. Allow God to work is miraculous healing power! This shift is up to you. You now know what is going on within you and you have felt what has come out of you through the emotions and now it is up to you to relinquish responsibility of your pain and give it all to God to heal. The wounds are open, they re exposed and God is the ultimate Physician. There s no better time to physically, mentally and emotionally give Him all of your pain. Allow Him to heal you wholly and without negotiation.
What is your end goal? What do you want to accomplish by giving God your pain? Cast your cares on the LORD and He will sustain you; He will never let the righteous be shaken. Psalm 55:22 Thanksgiving and praise. Out of sight, out of mind. That holds truth in some situations, but not when it comes to your healing. You will never arrive at healing; healing is not a destination, but a journey. No matter what you endure in life, you should always continue to praise and thank God before, in and after the experience. Your constant attitude of gratitude, praise and thanksgiving will continue to supply you with strength, build your faith and leave your cup running over with joy! What are you thanking and praising God for? How amazing is it that god thinks you re enough - just as you are! I want you to know you re enough. God loves you just the way you are. It doesn t matter what has happened to you or what you ve done. Life is hard sometimes and it feels like you have no one who understands exactly where it hurts. But God s Love covers that pain too!
Look at yourself and declare I am enough. I AM ENOUGH. GOD LOVES ME RIGHT WHERE I AM. And I promise you, He will NOT leave you right where you are! Forgiveness WAIT! I want you to remove any bad feelings and negative beliefs you have around forgiveness. This is absolutely necessary to your healing. I know it is very hard to fathom forgiving someone who has caused you pain and stolen from you; your joy, your dreams, your innocence. It s time to take it all back! Let s talk about what forgiveness isn t. Forgiveness isn t telling someone it s okay for you to treat me any type of way. Forgiveness isn t giving someone license to cause you pain. And forgiveness definitely is not amnesia! You can forgive without forgetting the boundaries they ve crossed. [A relationship is not a requirement for forgiveness! Don t let anyone tell you any different. ] "Forgiveness is me giving up my right to hurt you for hurting me." These questions were taken straight from my 5- Day Forgiveness Challenge. The purpose of these questions is to ignite compassion and lead you down the path of forgiveness, which is a journey too. Take a moment and answer the questions as honestly as you can. What is that one experience in your life that is causing an ongoing flow of hurt and pain? Why is your anger and hurt justified? How is your anger and hurt affecting your life?
How is it punishing the person who hurt you? Did your behavior toward this experience have a negative or positive influence on how you currently feel about the experience? What is this experience showing you about life? What is it showing you about you? What is the lesson in this test? What could you do now to be a more loving person to yourself and others even through the storms you have weathered? Remove any and all blocks that are causing you to believe God doesn t love you, God doesn t forgive you or that God is mad at you. What your little girl went through was not your fault and God isn t holding it against you! God is the source of your healing and deliverance Blaming god will hinder your healing How many times have you blamed God for the things that have happened to you? It s quite bold to come out and say that you blame God, you hate God or that God caused all of your pain, but you would be very surprised to know how many people blame such a loving God for such evil experiences.
I remember when I was about 22 and I was in a lot of self- induced bondage. I was so sick and tired of fighting demons that (I thought) I never invited. I blamed the things that have happened to me in my past on God. I blamed God for allowing it to happen and I blamed Him for allowing me to continue in bondage. It wasn t my fault at all. I didn t ask to be hurt, I didn t ask to be used and I sure didn t want to be bound to the pain any longer and I blamed God for it all. And it hindered my healing. It wasn t until I understood that what I went through was not my fault, but the lack of trust in God and His healing power was absolutely on me. It was up to me to release the chains of bondage by giving the pain, the shame, the guilt and the anger over to God. When I received this revelation that is exactly what I did. What are you blaming God for? What do you need to give over to Him? God loves you. He never has hurt you. He doesn t want to hurt you. He will never hurt you. Time heals all wounds This statement is absolutely false in every way possible. We like to take the route less painful and waiting on things to come to an end seems promising. Not true. How many 40, 50 even 60 year old women have you met who are bitter, lonely and plain out MEAN! It s been 60 years! Why hasn t that hole in her little girl s soul healed? Because time does not heal all wounds. You have to activate the healing process and you do so by giving God the permission to transform you from the inside out. It s not easy, but it is healing.
Secrets Keep You Sick You ve heard it before. And it s the God- truth. The silence of your wounds will continue to feed your pain. This doesn t mean to yell your business from the mountaintop, it means to trust God enough to send someone who can help you access freedom from the secrets. Use discernment. You can t trust everyone with your pain. An emotional weight will be lifted when you re able to finally speak about the pain in your past. To know that someone cares about you enough to go to God on your behalf is chain breaking in itself! James 5:16 Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results. We have come to the end of this ebook but it s just the beginning of your journey Wow! We have come to the end of this ebook, but your journey is just beginning. Continue to thank God for everything He has done, is doing and will continue to do in your life! God loves you so much, too much to leave you in pain. This isn t an overnight process and there will be days where you want to go back into that deep dark hole because you don t know what else to do or your mind is under attack, but give yourself permission to have down days, but never deny Jesus access to continue cleansing you! As we come to a close I want you to think about what has emotionally, mentally, physically and spiritually happened to you as you ve so courageously began this process! [Take a deep breath and grab your favorite pen] Ponder. Pray. Praise Ponder, Prayer and Praise is an opportunity for you to reflect, reach out and thank God as you continue through this process! PONDER What is one thing you now know about yourself that you didn t already know?
PRAY What do you want to communicate to God in this moment? PRAISE What is one thing (or many things) you are Praising God for? One last thing Close your eyes and picture Jesus. Picture Him standing next to your little girl. Picture Him standing next to your little girl with tears in His eyes. His love for you runs so deep. Don t ever for a moment think He has forgotten you. He loves you! [Journal if you re feeling it]
Empathic, funny, straightforward and enthusiastic are just a few words to describe Angel Starr. As a Certified Relationship Coach and expert in encouragement, Angel specializes in supporting women in their healing, concentrating on self- worth, self- confidence, and self- love. Overcoming her own struggles with insecurities and her identity in Christ, she is able to bring an insider s understanding to challenges faced by everyday women. To work with Angel, find out about new blogs, programs and events or just receive encouragement, connect with her at www.angelstarronline.com! Facebook.com/AngelStarrCoaching Twitter.com/YourStarrAngel Angel Thomas is an energetic, enthusiastic and empathetic individual whose wisdom is conveyed with a witty, down- to- earth "real world" edge. She has overcome challenges in her personal life - - many of which she shares every detail willingly - - and is an expert in human behavior, belief systems and bouncing back from failure. I have worked with Angel and have personally witnessed her ability to guide others through tough times and help them reach beyond their own self- limitations of fear, anxiety, guilt, depression and anger to embrace their destiny through the healing power of forgiveness, love and hard work. I highly recommend Angel Thomas as a coach, not just because she is my cousin, but also because I trust her knowledge, confidence and ability to help others work through the hard stuff. - Raymond Ramsey, pastor, teacher and author of "Hearing God's Voice" Online coaching and counseling is not a substitute for medical care. Life Coaching should in no way be construed as therapy or psychoanalysis, as the intent is to actively engage in an open and honest conversation about what is preventing the client from achieving their desired outcomes. Coaching is about breaking free of limiting beliefs and socially- conditioned "habits." It is about exploring new and powerful "ways of being," as opposed to psychoanalyzing, diagnosing, or otherwise focusing on past "issues." Although the past may be discussed at times, Coaching is about creating empowering resolutions to everyday challenges, which arise in the face of living in an otherwise normal and healthy environment and establishing effective action plans in support of establishing and accomplishing those outcomes. If you feel that you are in need of resolving of deep- seated issues or feel you may be suffering from depression, you are advised to seek the council of a licensed therapist or mental health professional.