DESTINY TRAINING LEVEL 2 MODULE 4 CLASS 03 INNER HEALING FOR THE FAMILY Biblical Reference: Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you (Ephesians 4:31-32). I. CLASS OBJECTIVES 1. To recognize the root of rejection and understand that Jesus delivered you from it. 2. To learn about the four consequences of rejection and the healing that God can bring you. 3. To learn to forgive your parents and ask them to forgive you. II. INTRODUCTION A. The Deepest Wounds a Human Can Possess are Found in the Soul 1. When God designed humans, He did it in such a way that they would feel loved by Him and be able to show Him love too. 2. Many wounds come from our childhood experiences: a lack of family affection, love and recognition. These deficiencies leave a great void in our heart that remains as the years go by. 3. These wounds in our soul go beyond our memory of them; they are deeper than the memories we find in our conscious minds. In the majority of cases, we have recorded these wounds even though perhaps when they occurred, we were so young that we cannot even remember what happened. 4. But we will see that Jesus death redeemed us from every emotional wound. III. LESSON: INNER HEALING FOR THE FAMILY A. What Causes a Wounded Spirit? Just as our physical bodies can be wounded, there is another part of our being called, the soul, made up of our mind, will and emotions. One of the ways our soul is most affected is through rejection. Just as we need medical attention to counter infections to our physical wounds so we need the Spirit s comfort to cancel rejection in our lives.
If it s not eradicated from our lives, it will grow over time and weaken our will, leading to destruction. Psalm 147:3 (NKJV) He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. 1. Rejection in the womb Many people are victims of difficult situations; maybe your mother fell pregnant at a time when she was going through the worst financial difficulties; or perhaps the conflict between her and her partner was too much, and on finding out that she was pregnant, she vented all her anger upon her unborn child. Whatever the situation may have been, if it left any kind of scar of rejection in you, you should know that, through Christ s redemption, God has accepted you. Ephesians 1:4 (NKJV) Just as He chose us in Him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and without blame before Him in love. We came into this world because God predetermined it. Psalm 139:15-16 (NIV) 15 My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. 16 Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. 2. Rejection at birth Rejection can also take place the moment we are born. Some parents may expect their child to be a boy but she is born a girl or vice versa and so they feel disillusioned and display negative behavior. Many people believe that: a. Nobody felt joy when they were born. But God did. Jeremiah 1:5 (NIV) Before I formed you in the womb I knew you b. No one bothered to take care of them. Job 10:12 (NKJV) You have granted me life and favor, and Your care has preserved my spirit. Page 2 of 7
c. They could not find help anywhere, even when crying out for it. Psalm 34:4 (NKJV) I sought the Lord, and He heard me, and delivered me from all my fears. d. They had no value. 1 Corinthians 1:27-29 (NKJV) 27 But God has chosen the foolish things of the world to put to shame the wise, and God has chosen the weak things of the world to put to shame the things which are mighty; 28 and the base things of the world and the things which are despised God has chosen, and the things which are not, to bring to nothing the things that are, 29 that no flesh should glory in His presence. 3. Rejection throughout childhood. Generally speaking, experiences early in life affect the behavior, character and personality of an individual in the future. The largest traumas have their origin in the carelessness of parents towards their children. Every child wants to feel important and expects their parents to express it through touch, hugs and words of encouragement. Proverbs 22:6 (NKJV) Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it. Here s some guidance in addressing the following aspects: a. Communication This refers to the time a parent should spend with a child in their walk through life. Deuteronomy 6:6-7 (NKJV) 6 And these words which I command you today shall be in your heart. 7 You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up. b. Respect If a parent shouts at their children often, they will think it is the right thing to do. But if he respects, values and accepts their opinions, they will be able to develop successfully in life. Page 3 of 7
c. Balance Children need a lot of love. But if we show them love and no discipline, they will grow up thinking that if their parents (their authority) fell at their feet, then everybody should give in to what they want, no matter who they have to walk over. d. Love Loving a child requires strength and taking time out for them. Their development should be enjoyed fully and parents should always show them love and affection. 4. Parental abandonment Nobody can replace our parents. A child feels abandoned when it is handed over to third parties to be brought up: grandparents, uncles and aunts, godparents or social fostering entities. Many children harbor resentment as a result of family dislocation, irresponsibility and disparaging attitudes shown towards them by their parents. However, God promised to send his restoring medicine through forgiveness and acceptance. 5. Sexual abuse In many cases this problem occurs with close family. The wound is very deep, to such an extent that many years may pass and the person does not feel healed. Only Jesus power can perform this miracle. 6. A parent s preference for one of their children Jacob s children rejected their brother Joseph because they could see their father s preference for him (Genesis 37:32b). This has caused a perception to the other children and bought division amongst them. This can happen in families where the father or mother prefer one child over another and treats them differently. We cannot expect greater things from our children than that which we have given ourselves. When our Heavenly Father handed over His Son, Jesus, He showed how special you are to Him. Page 4 of 7
B. A Rejected or Abandoned Woman Any kind of separation leaves wounds behind that only God can heal. The Lord told women: Isaiah 54:4-7 (NKJV) 4 Do not fear, for you will not be ashamed; neither be disgraced, for you will not be put to shame; for you will forget the shame of your youth, and will not remember the reproach of your widowhood anymore. 5 For your Maker is your husband, The Lord of hosts is His name; and your Redeemer is the Holy One of Israel; He is called the God of the whole earth. 6 For the Lord has called you like a woman forsaken and grieved in spirit, like a youthful wife when you were refused, Says your God. 7 For a mere moment I have forsaken you, but with great mercies I will gather you. Speaking to women directly, God reveals four consequences of rejection: 1. Fear When separation takes place, it leaves us with an uncertain future, but God s encouraging voice tells us not to fear. Fear of man puts a rope around us and brings confusion with it. This fear means we do not know which path to take. 2. Shame Someone you really love leaves your life and we have to face loneliness, gossip, temptation and fear before trusting others again. 3. Widowhood The Lord compares separation to widowhood. A woman who has been separated or divorced can suffer more than a widow because she has to face her husband who may stop her from reaching her destiny. 4. A distressed spirit When a couple separates, the wife is left with great sadness and a longing that he might one day come back. Many women spend their lives lamenting their failure and wait in vain for their partner to return one day. In spite of all these things, the Lord pours out His mercy to every woman and with words of encouragement declares: You will not be put to shame. I will heal each wound in your memory and you will forget them. I will be your Redeemer and I will heal you. I will pick you up with great mercy. Page 5 of 7
C. Three Incorrect Ways of Reacting When Facing Rejection Every man or woman who has suffered rejection must overcome: 1. Discouragement Some people feel so much rejection that it paralyzes them. When you share your life with someone who does not accept you any longer, it is extremely frustrating and a chain of events occur that can end in tragedy. 2. Resistance It s very common to find people who do not want to accept the reality of their situation especially when facing rejection. Sometimes they react by being resistance to change. 3. Revenge A person who has been rejected can become a ruthless enemy who resorts to the lowest kind of weapon to destroy their enemy. D. We Can Be Delivered From Rejection To receive complete restoration in your soul from the Lord, you should openly: 1. Identify the wounds in your heart. You should face your past, not to go back to that feeling of distress but to confront the problem and solve it. 2. To clearly identify the people who hurt us. Whether your wound was caused by rejection before birth, during childhood, physical, emotional or sexual abuse; or any other situation, you should forgive the person who is to blame. Forgiving is a voluntary decision to make, not an emotional decision. 3. Accept that Jesus took rejection in our place. Jesus was rejected by his father Joseph before being born when he discovered that Mary was pregnant, considered abandoning her and the baby. He was rejected at birth by the king who sought to kill him. He was rejected by the Jews, religious leaders, Pharisees, Scribes, civil and political leaders. His closest disciples turned their backs against Him. He was also rejected by one of the thieves who were crucified next to Him. In the most critical moment in His life, His Father rejected Him. His heart broke and He cried, My God, my God, why have you forsaken me? (Matthew 27:46). Page 6 of 7
E. Jesus Suffered Rejection In Our Place. He experienced rejection so that we could be accepted before God: 1. He was despised. The only person who can understand each circumstance we face is Jesus. Isaiah 53:3 (NKJV) He is despised and rejected by men, a Man of sorrows and acquainted with grief. And we hid, as it were, our faces from Him; He was despised, and we did not esteem Him. 2. He forgave us. He forgave us and reconciled us to God so that the Spirit Himself may clothe us, and forgive those who hurt us. 2 Corinthians 5:19 (NLT) For God was in Christ, reconciling the world to Himself, no longer counting people s sins against them. And he gave us this wonderful message of reconciliation. 3. He accepted us. As Jesus was punished, God no longer needs to punish us. He sees us as His children. He passed on the benefits and blessings of Christ to each and every one of us. He only accepts us in Jesus. Ephesians 1:6 NKJV To the praise of the glory of His grace, by which He made us accepted in the Beloved. V. CONCLUSION God longs to touch the most intimate fibers of our being. He wants to heal us and give us what our parents were unable to give us. He wants to restore us completely. His aim is to ensure that nobody goes through what we have gone through; the important thing is that even when our families turn their back on us, our God will never turn His back on us. He has picked us up with tenderness and holds us close to His heart. He gives us His affection and love. Page 7 of 7