Show video clip from Anger Management 1 P a g e Jack has some wisdom on anger in those scenes. Remember temper s the one thing you can t get rid of by losing it. True? And, The angry man opens his mouth and shuts his eyes. Yup? And, If I had lost my temper, would I have had the presence of mind to leave my card with my insurance information. So remember that the next time someone parks you in or cuts you off in traffic. Title slide. We have an anger management problem... in the human race. Jesus knows it. In The Sermon on the Mount, one of Jesus most important teachings, in The Gospel According to Matthew in the New Testament, Jesus speaks about some of the ways we hurt each other and disobey God, and the very first issue like that that He addresses is anger. He says, Matthew 5:21-22 You have heard that it was said to those who lived long ago, Do not murder, and all who commit murder will be in danger of judgment. But I say to you that everyone who is angry with their brother or sister will be in danger of judgment. If they say to their brother or sister, You idiot, they will be in danger of being condemned by the governing council. And if they say, You fool, they will be in danger of fiery hell. (CEB) Jesus is backing it up. He is saying that murder comes from, begins with, originates in anger. The original Greek word that Matthew writes for anger here is orgidzo. A couple things about orgidzo... Orgidzo can be a strong word. So that it s translated as rage in a couple other places in the NT. And Orgidzo is a passive tense, middle deponent verb. And that form is intentionally and literal meant to say angry in oneself. Jesus is saying to his listeners and to us, that even though one of the 10 Commandments is thou shalt not murder, the real issue we need to deal with is the anger that starts in ourselves. Right away your mind and mine go does that mean that just anger in itself is a sin? To that question, Jesus seems to choose an expression that is translated in this version as will be in danger of. Some English translations choose will be subject to, or guilty of, or liable for judgment. But the idea is not absolute, it is a possibility.
So, Jesus seems to be allowing that some anger for the right reasons would not be judged. But, he wants us to address all the times in our lives that anger leads to something. 2 P a g e The other thing Jesus is saying here is that anger escalates. The ultimate conclusion of anger is violence, sinful acts, thou shalt not murder. But before that, there can be level 1 anger in yourself. That s when the anger boils up inside you for the wrong reason. That results in level 1 punishment. The word judgment implies to a small local court. Then anger can quickly escalate to level 2 name calling You idiot. The Aramaic word Jesus used is Raca. Raca mean empty head, air head, idiot. This is foul language. Level 2 judgment takes you before the governing council, the Sanhedrin, the Sup court. It s escalating. And then level 3 anger is attacking someone s character. If we call someone a fool today, that s not a very vicious thing to do. But calling someone a fool in Jesus day meant something different than how we use it. It was saying you re immoral. You re ungodly. It was attacking the legitimacy of someone s relationship with God. It is a low and deeply offensive attack. This is cursing in its literal sense. Calling someone a fool was condemning them to hell. That is exactly why level 3 punishment is itself being in danger of the fires of hell. The punishment fits the crime. So, Jesus is saying anger can be worse and worse. He seems to give us this progression because he knows how anger operates in us & in our world; it escalates. It starts as something small. It boils up inside us as orgidzo. It erupts as something insulting. And it retaliates and escalates as attacks on character Until maybe it even explodes in violence. Jesus says, God is opposed to all that, not just murder, but every bit of it, in our lives.
So, the question for you and I... is how do we keep our anger from escalating. How do we keep from sinning out of anger? 3 P a g e Whether that means attacking the kid at the fast food counter in anger by calling him an idiot because he says he can t make a milk shake with half vanilla and half chocolate, even though you know he can...(that may or may not be a real life personal example.) Or whether that means anger erupting in an argument with a family member that escalates to words that insult and attack, even if they are mumbled or shouted. Or whether that means letting our anger escalate to physical violence. How do we keep from letting anger escalate to sin? I want to look at two stories from the Old Testament today to answer that. One, you will probably be familiar with, but maybe you ll see a new insight or detail in it today that will speak to you. The second, many of you will probably not be familiar with, but it is very relevant and helpful here and even inspirational. Let s look at the original example of the failure of anger escalating to sin. Genesis 4:1-9 1 Adam made love to his wife Eve, and she became pregnant and gave birth to Cain. She said, With the help of the LORD I have brought forth a man. 2 Later she gave birth to his brother Abel. Now Abel kept flocks, and Cain worked the soil. 3 In the course of time Cain brought some of the fruits of the soil as an offering to the LORD. 4 And Abel also brought an offering fat portions from some of the firstborn of his flock. The LORD looked with favor on Abel and his offering, 5 but on Cain and his offering he did not look with favor. So Cain was very angry, and his face was downcast. 6 Then the LORD said to Cain, Why are you angry? Why is your face downcast? 7 If you do what is right, will you not be accepted? But if you do not do what is right, sin is crouching at your door; it desires to have you, but you must rule over it. 8 Now Cain said to his brother Abel, Let s go out to the field. While they were in the field, Cain attacked his brother Abel and killed him. 9 Then the LORD said to Cain, Where is your brother Abel? I don t know, he replied. Am I my brother s keeper? (NIV, 2011) Then the Lord said to Cain, Why are you so angry? What do you think? Why was Cain so angry? God did not look on his offering with favor... So that made him think or feel...? Maybe he felt disrespected. Maybe he felt humiliated. Maybe he was jealous. Maybe it was pride. Cain might have always been first. And there was no way he was going to let Abel take his 1 st place.
And what does God say to warn Cain about his anger? 4 P a g e If you do what is right, you ll be accepted. But if not, sin is crouching at your door. God says, Cain. You re angry. I can see it all over your face. So now the question is, what are going to do with that anger. Cain, when you are angry, it s like sin is crouching just outside your door. Cain, are you going to let your anger open the door to sin? Isn t that so true?! When you get angry, really angry, don t you feel like the anger pushes you to do things you know are wrong, and that hurt others and yourself? What does God say Cain must do with his anger? He must rule over it. We must rule over our anger that can lead to sin. In Psalm 4:4, The Psalm writer, David, is talking about anger and he tells says, In your anger do not sin. You might know it from Ephesian in the New Testament, But Paul quotes King David, who knew a little about anger himself. He says, You will get angry. It can lead to sin. Don t let it. So, what does Cain do? Cain gives in to his anger and let s sin in. Cain suffers because he fails to rule over his anger. Anger starts in the heart. It let s sin in. Anger lets sin win. Now there s another story in the Bible of someone who handled anger differently. It s the story of David, Nabal, and Abigail that s found in 1 Samuel 25... Listen. 1 Samuel 25 1 Now Samuel died, and all Israel assembled and mourned for him; and they buried him at his home in Ramah. Then David moved down into the Desert of Maon. 2 A certain man in Maon, who had property there at Carmel, was very wealthy. He had a thousand goats and three thousand sheep, which he was shearing in Carmel. 3 His name was Nabal (Nabal means fool in Hebrew) and his wife s name was Abigail (Abigail means a Father s joy). She was an intelligent and beautiful woman, but her husband, a Calebite, was surly and mean in his dealings.
Abigail had good sense and was fair in form. Nabal was stubborn, stiff necked, harsh, the word means, and evil. 5 P a g e 4 While David was in the desert, he heard that Nabal was shearing sheep. 5 So he sent ten young men and said to them, Go up to Nabal at Carmel and greet him in my name. 6 Say to him: Long life to you! Good health to you and your household! And good health to all that is yours! David sends a threefold blessing: The Hebrew is Shalom (peace), Shalom baa-yith (peace to your house), Shalom kole (peace all.) 7 Now I hear that it is sheep-shearing time. When your shepherds were with us, we did not mistreat them, and the whole time they were at Carmel nothing of theirs was missing. 8 Ask your own servants and they will tell you. They shared the same land. David and his 600 men are in limbo. God has anointed David to be king of Israel. But Saul, the current king, is not dead yet. So, Saul has been chasing David and his men. Until recently, when David had a chance to kill Saul in a cave, but he didn t. So Saul has just made a pact not to pursue David anymore. But David and his men are still homeless rebels, as it were. Therefore be favorable toward my young men, since we come at a festive time. Please give your servants and your son David whatever you can find for them. 9 When David s men arrived, they gave Nabal this message in David s name. Then they waited. 10 Nabal answered David s servants, Who is this David? Who is this son of Jesse? Many servants are breaking away from their masters these days. 11 Why should I take my bread and water, and the meat I have slaughtered for my shearers, and give it to men coming from who knows where? Who is this David??? Nabal knows David. David killed Goliath. Everyone knows who David is. The people all sing songs of his conquests. Nabal knew David and his men were in their area. So this is probably gonna be a problem, right? 12 David s men turned around and went back. When they arrived, they reported every word. 13 David said to his men, Put on your swords! How do you imagine he said that? Okay, put on your swords. No. I think it sounded something like Mel Gibson in Ransom screaming give me back my son. So they put on their swords, and David put on his. About four hundred men went up with David, while two hundred stayed with the supplies.
6 P a g e 14 One of the servants told Nabal s wife Abigail: David sent messengers from the desert to give our master his greetings, but he hurled insults at them. He hurled insults upon them. The Hebrew word is eat. It means to rush upon violently, scream, indignation. Nabal exploded on them. 15 Yet these men were very good to us. They did not mistreat us, and the whole time we were out in the fields near them nothing was missing. The messenger says, but David s men never shamed us never disrespected us. I think he s saying, David never disrespected us, but now Nabal has just disrespected David. Who here knows that men feel strong anger when they feel disrespected? David was shamed by Nabal. David feels disrespected. 16 Night and day they were a wall around us all the time we were herding our sheep near them. 17 Now think it over and see what you can do, because disaster is hanging over our master and his whole household. He is such a wicked man that no one can talk to him. 18 Abigail lost no time. She took two hundred loaves of bread, two skins of wine, five dressed sheep, five seahs (a seah is a 10 gallon bushel) of roasted grain, a hundred cakes of raisins and two hundred cakes of pressed figs, and loaded them on donkeys. 19 Then she told her servants, Go on ahead; I ll follow you. But she did not tell her husband Nabal. What is Abigail doing? Abigail is gonna try to turn away David s anger. Do you see it? She is gonna try to intervene, to make peace. And what is the first thing she does? She sends food. I think this should be a lesson to all wives, and wives to be, that when you have a fight with your husband the biblical way to make up is to make him delicious food. I m not sure, but I think the Hebrew word for cakes of pressed figs could also be interpreted as pies of pressed apples... Does any wife want to take a shot at a rebuttal perhaps referring to the donkey here? Okay, let her who has an ear to hear, hear.
Why is Abigail really taking this food? That was all David was asking for. Some supplies. Some help from his very wealthy neighbor who had benefited from his protection. There could be a question here if David is running a protection racket ala Tony Soprano, Hey, It would be a shame if something happened to all your sheep... But I don t think that s really the nature of the cultural expectations. 7 P a g e 20 As she came riding her donkey into a mountain ravine, there were David and his men descending toward her, and she met them. 21 David had just said, It s been useless all my watching over this fellow s property in the desert so that nothing of his was missing. He has paid me back evil for good. 22 May God deal with David, be it ever so severely, if by morning I leave alive one male of all who belong to him! 23 When Abigail saw David, she quickly got off her donkey and bowed down before David with her face to the ground. Abigail is gonna try to turn away David s anger. She does an act of kindness. She appreciates and shows the respect David asked for. And then, she gets off her donkey, falls on her face, and bows down to the ground What would you call this? Humility. Abigail tries to keep anger from turning into sin by being humble. Abigail tries to keep anger from turning into sin by giving grace, respect, and humility. 24 She fell at his feet and said: My lord, let the blame be on me alone. Please let your servant speak to you; hear what your servant has to say. Who does she blame? Nabal? She says blame me. She doesn t seek to blame others, even when they deserve it. She takes the blame even though she doesn t deserve it. 25 May my lord pay no attention to that wicked man Nabal. He is just like his name his name is Fool, and folly goes with him. But as for me, your servant, I did not see the men my master sent. He s a fool. But if I had had a chance, I would have done it differently.
8 P a g e 26 Now since the LORD has kept you, my master, from bloodshed and from avenging yourself with your own hands, as surely as the LORD lives and as you live, may your enemies and all who intend to harm my master be like Nabal. 27 And let this gift, which your servant has brought to my master, be given to the men who follow you. 28 Please forgive your servant s offense, for the LORD will certainly make a lasting dynasty for my master, because he fights the LORD s battles. She asks for forgiveness. She says David fights the Lord s battles and respects him. Let no wrongdoing be found in you as long as you live. 29 Even though someone is pursuing you to take your life, the life of my master will be bound securely in the bundle of the living by the LORD your God. But the lives of your enemies he will hurl away as from the pocket of a sling. Oh is she good. What does your enemies be hurled away as from the pocket of a sling allude to? Goliath. She is remembering David s great conquest. She respects him. She honors him. 30 When the LORD has done for my master every good thing he promised concerning him and has appointed him leader over Israel, 31 my master will not have on his conscience the staggering burden of needless bloodshed or of having avenged himself. And when the LORD has brought my master success, remember your servant. And she appeals to his sense of rightness and honor. And how does David respond? 32 David said to Abigail, Praise be to the LORD, the God of Israel, who has sent you today to meet me. 33 May you be blessed for your good judgment and for keeping me from bloodshed this day and from avenging myself with my own hands. 34 Otherwise, as surely as the LORD, the God of Israel, lives, who has kept me from harming you, if you had not come quickly to meet me, not one male belonging to Nabal would have been left alive by daybreak. 35 Then David accepted from her hand what she had brought him and said, Go home in peace. I have heard your words and granted your request. As his anger escalated, David was on his way to commit murder. Sin was crouching at his door. But because of kindness, respect, humility, a willingness to avoid blaming others, and to ask for forgiveness the escalation of the anger is appeased, avoided, undone.
9 P a g e And then, 36 When Abigail went to Nabal, he was in the house holding a banquet like that of a king. He was in high spirits and very drunk. So she told him nothing until daybreak. 37 Then in the morning, when Nabal was sober, his wife told him all these things, and his heart failed him and he became like a stone. 38 About ten days later, the LORD struck Nabal and he died. David does what is right, and God avenges him. David honors God, and God honors David. If you do what is right when confronted with anger, will God defend you? Will God avenge you? 39 When David heard that Nabal was dead, he said, Praise be to the LORD, who has upheld my cause against Nabal for treating me with contempt. He has kept his servant from doing wrong and has brought Nabal s wrongdoing down on his own head. Then David sent word to Abigail, asking her to become his wife. 40 His servants went to Carmel and said to Abigail, David has sent us to you to take you to become his wife. Abigail is a widow now. David takes her in. It s an honorable reward. She does what is right and she is blessed for it too. The Lord defends her cause, because she does what honors the Lord. (blank) A certain TV psychologist is noted for his folk wisdom. He says things like, If someone out there doesn t agree with me, then somewhere a village is missing their idiot. And This ain t my first rodeo son. And That dog don t hunt. And one of the good ones he says is What this relationship needs is a hero. When a couple or a family is in a crisis or at a stalemate, he says, What this relationship needs is a hero. Abigail is a hero.... Do you think you could be one too? Abigail turns away wrath with a gentle answer. Abigail keeps anger from turning into sin by giving respect and honor. Abigail keeps anger from turning into sin by showing genuine humility. Abigail does it to protect herself and to protect others including her family. And God defends her and blesses her for it.
As Jesus was sitting on the side of the gentle slope of the mountain that day saying, You have heard it said thou shalt not murder, but I say to anyone who is angry with his brother is in danger of judgment... 10 P a g e I wonder if some of the people thought angry and brother... that reminds me of Cain and where God said... Why are you angry Cain. Sin crouches at your door. And you need to rule over your anger. And when Jesus said, if anyone says to his brother Raca, idiot, I wonder if some of the people thought of David and where David had said... In your anger do not sin. And when Jesus said, if anyone says to his brother you Nabal. You fool. I wonder if anyone thought of David s Nabal. I wonder if they thought, I remember Nabal s anger and I remember David s anger and I remember Abigail. And how she appeased David s anger. With humility, and respect, and kindness. And how that changed David s anger. And how god honored that and blessed her because of it. Next time you find yourself getting angry or facing someone who is spewing anger at you... Remember what Jesus says about anger...and let that remind you too. Let it remind you of what God said to Cain... Let it remind you of what David said about being angry, but not sinning... And let it remind you of Abigail s wonderful example And I pray that God will bless you for it.