Walking Stars Stories of Magic and Power V I C T O R V I LL A S E Ñ O R Piñata Books Houston, Texas 1994
Table of Contents Preface...7 Part One: My Birth to Power and Magic The Smartest Human I Ever Met: My Brother s Dog Shep...15 Midnight Duke...22 Walking Stars...28 Part Two: Stories of My Mother First Day of School...53 Woman s Greatest Power...70 The Hanging...86 Part Three: Stories of My Father The Greatest Christmas Gift...103 Death of an Assassin...153 Toreando el Tren or Bullfighting the Train...180
Preface I have two boys in high school, and ever since they were little, I ve been telling them that there s a way to live life, la vida, with power and magic, a way of triumphing over all odds and living life like a superhuman being, just like Superwoman and Superman. And this isn t bull, but the truth of all living, if only we open up our eyes to see life, la vida, in all its true wonder and greatness. And so I tell my boys stories, true stories about my life and their grandparent s and their greatgrandparent s lives, stories that give them wings of understanding and feet of power rooted in Mother Earth, so that they can then live their lives not alone, but with the breath of their ancestry breathing down their necks. And I tell them that these stories will give them strength and a sense of wellbeing, even in their darkest hours of living in this scary modern world, where people are afraid of getting old, afraid of being left alone, or simply afraid to reach out and touch their fellow human beings. You see, I tell my boys and their cousins and friends, life is full of magic, real magic, and not the magic of tricks and games and pulling rabbits out of black hats, but the real magic that gives us power and strength to endure and triumph in everyday life, la vida. 7
8 VICTOR VILLASEÑOR And you can turn up your noses at me if you want and say that that s for the old people and the old ways and not for now in modern times, but I ll tell you straight to your face, Bull! Bull! Bull! For this is the magic of the ages, and it s good for all time! For 5,000 x 5,000 years into the future or into the past! If you have the eyes to see and the ears to hear, you will know that to live life without the magic of your God-given soul is to live life like a fish out of water, like an eagle without sky, an antelope without an open meadow or a heart without love. You see, the soul is to magic just like the eagle is to the sky and the fish is to the water and the antelope is to the big, open meadow our soul is fearless and full of joy and makes living a great, glorious, magical adventure open to all! So, my boys ask me where I get all this special knowledge. I tell them that it all started when I was born in the barrio of Carlsbad, California, and everyone spoke Spanish, and my mother would put me to bed at night and call me her little angel boy, su angelito, and tell me that when I went to sleep, I d go up to heaven and rest with Papito Dios, Little Daddy God, and then I d return in the morning all rested and good. Back then, when I was little and I hadn t started school yet, I thought God was a chubby, little, daddy-like figure who was friendly and happy and ate beans and tortillas and shot down a tequila now and then, and that He liked to laugh a lot and have a good time. I never had the idea that God was tall and strong and authoritative and would
WALKING STARS 9 send you to hell if you misbehaved, until I started school. You see, for me school was a very scary experience. I hardly spoke any English, and on my first day, the teacher yelled at us, the Mexican kids, No Spanish! and punished us if she caught us speaking one word, and hit us on the head if we continued. And in no time at all, the magic that I d known in my pre-school life was ripped away from me. If I mentioned that the sun was the Right Eye of God, as I d been told at home, I was ridiculed. If I said anything about Mexico or anything about my Native Indian culture, I was laughed at. And looking back as an adult, I can now see that the teacher probably wasn t that bad and was only trying to invite us into the mainstream of the United States, so we could prosper and make life easier for ourselves. But back then as a child, that was not how it felt. No, it felt more as if a war had been declared on us, as if the wars between Spain and England for world dominance were still going on right there in our classroom, and she set out to prove to us that everything English was superior and everything Spanish and Indian was inferior and evil and wrong. And I don t want you to think that looking back, now as an adult, that I m blaming those teachers who hit us and embarrassed us and tried so hard to make us feel ashamed of our parents and our Native American and Spanish culture. No, those teachers are what caused me to erupt with such rage and hate, such fire against injustice within
10 VICTOR VILLASEÑOR my God-given soul, that nothing could ve stopped me. And I decided to become a writer. I had such a conviction, such a need, that I was able to write for ten years and get 265 rejections and never give up until I got published. So, you see, I d like you to truly understand that I m not that smart or great, and I didn t become a writer because I did well in school and got A s. No, I became a writer because I had so much confusion and anguish inside of me that I wished to kill with a vengeance from hell itself. Always be careful of whom you put down or pick on, because I can guarantee you that they will grow strong and come back to haunt you with the power of ten thousand angels, and fly right past you, reaching for the stars. This is the power of the Jews my wife and kids are Jewish, and so now I am, too, through osmosis. Jews have been beaten and persecuted all over the world, and so that s why they ve become strong and capable. This is the power of the blacks here in our country; they were beaten and persecuted so much that they ve risen up as some of our finest minds and artists and athletes. This is the power of any people who are put down: Yellow, Red, Black, White or Brown. They will rise up a thousand times more powerful, just like weeds breaking through asphalt. Nothing can stop the human spirit, especially when it s aware of its own power. These, then, I tell my boys, aren t nice, little stories of magic and fantasy, but stories of gut-awful pain and heartbreak, confusion and self-hate and
WALKING STARS 11 doubt, and then, finally, that great, real magic power of life that s sitting there, within each of us, waiting to erupt and help us overcome against all odds. These, then, are stories for all people, men and women, boys and girls, who ve ever suffered or been wronged, who ve ever felt lonely or misunderstood, or have ever gotten so beaten down by society that life seemed all scary and upside down. These are true stories about real life and real people, not made-up, phony, movie heroes with big muscles who always know all the answers, but stories of people like you and me: ordinary people who don t quite know where they re going or how to get there, but, always seem to find the way to survive and flourish. Remember, like my mother told me each night when she put me to bed back in the barrio, we re all angels not humans, but angels, full-time spiritual beings feeling a little human while we live in this short, tiny dream called life, la vida. And, also, please understand that if it hadn t been for that love that my mother gave me each night in Spanish as she put me down to sleep, I m sure that I wouldn t have had the power, the magic, to endure all the bullying and terrible things that happened to me later in life. It was as if I had love on one side, keeping me going, and hate on the other side, knocking me down. But somehow, between these two very powerful emotions, I managed to grow like a weed that comes up through the cement, breaking stone and concrete,
12 VICTOR VILLASEÑOR getting its power from Mother Earth as it reaches for Father Sky. This is what the human spirit is: an indestructible force, bursting forth against all odds, rooted in love, as it reaches for God s golden sunlight. Thank you. I hope you enjoy these stories as much as my family and I have. Reach for the stars. It s cheaper, in the long run. Adelante, amigos y amigas! Victor E. Villaseñor Rancho Villaseñor 1302 Stewart St. Oceanside, California 92054