The Ties That Bind June 23, 2013 I This past week, thousands of Unitarian Universalists from hundreds of Unitarian Universalist congregations across North America gathered together in Louisville, Kentucky for the Unitarian Universalist Association s annual General Assembly a visible and visceral reminder that individual Unitarian Universalists and UU congregations do not exist in isolation but are bound together in relationship with hundreds of thousands of UUs and more than a thousand UU congregations each a small part of the larger liberal religious faith and living tradition we share. What, though, is it that binds us, individually and as a congregation, together with all those other UUs in all those UU congregations across the continent? What is it that binds us to the Unitarian Universalist Association with which this Fellowship is associated? There are, I believe, several answers. We are, in a sense, bound together by the history of Unitarianism and Universalism. We are bound together by the liberal religious perspective we share. We are bound together by shared values and principles that we hold and affirm. And although we are not bound together by any prescribed dogma, creed, or particular statement of belief, we are, I believe, bound together, more or less, by a set of common beliefs even if we don t like to admit it and it s sometimes hard for us to articulate what we believe. But there is something else something important that binds us together as Unitarian Universalists, both within our congregations and with other UU congregations and our Unitarian Universalist Association. And that something else is covenant (which is the focus of this year s UUA General Assembly and the subject of an article by Rev. Victoria Safford in the most recent edition of UU World magazine. II Most of you (I hope) are at least somewhat familiar with the seven principles of Unitarian Universalism (or, at least, one or two of them like the inherent worth and dignity of every person or respect for the interdependent web of all existence of which we are a part. But if you take a closer look at the UU Principles (which are in the front on our hymnal), you ll see that they are not phrased simply as a statement of shared principles or belief but rather as a set of values that Unitarian Universalist congregations covenant to affirm and promote. As Unitarian Universalists, we covenant we promise ourselves and each other that we will affirm and promote the values that we share as religious liberals, practicing what we say we believe and living out our liberal religious faith. And, as a member congregation of the UUA, this Fellowship is bound, in covenant, by its promise to support the UUA in its work to serve other UU congregations, organize new
UU congregations, strengthen Unitarian Universalism within and beyond our congregations, build beloved community, stand on the side of love, and bend the moral arc of the universe toward justice a promise that is made real by our participation and involvement in denominational affairs and our financial support of the UUA s annual program fund. Unitarian Universalism is a covenantal faith: a faith in which the ties that bind us together are not based on allegiance to a particular creed, scripture, revelation, or ecclesiastical authority but rather the covenantal promises and commitments that we make to each other in community, in love, and in faith promises that are freely chosen and bear witness to what Rev. Rebecca Parker names our lifesustaining interdependence. III In her article, Bound in Covenant: Congregational Covenants as Declarations of Interdependence, Victoria Safford writes that seeing ourselves as bound in covenant is an old practice among [Unitarian Universalists and our congregational ancestors]. She reminds us that in 1630, the Puritans who landed in what was then the dangerous wilderness of Massachusetts (and whose great, great grandchildren would, 200 years later, become Unitarians) entered into a covenant with each other to do justly, love mercy, and walk humbly with their God, sharing their individual bounty with their neighbors who were in need, rejoicing and mourning together, delighting in each other and making others sorrows their own, working and suffering together, practicing meekness, gentleness, patience, and liberality in their relationships with each other, striving always for the common good of their community. It was, Safford writes, an extraordinary declaration of interdependence by which they promised to subvert their individual, private interests for the public good and serve a vision larger than any single eye could see. Over time, the covenantal tradition of the early Puritans was inherited by our Unitarian and Universalist ancestors and, Safford notes, the organizing statements of early Universalist and Unitarian congregations in New England echoed [the] Puritan ideal. The theology changed [reflecting] Unitarian beliefs about the nature of God [and] Universalist beliefs about the nature of human beings but the essential premises of covenanted [religious] community did not. And so, the concept of covenant became, and still remains today, an essential part of our Unitarian Universalist heritage and faith. IV Speaking to the Unitarian Universalist Association s General Assembly in 1998, the Rev. Rebecca Parker, president of Starr King School for Ministry, reminded those present that the etymology of covenant is from the old French, con venire, which means to come together. Covenant, she said, means to come together by making a promise the mutual promise among individuals who exercise their power to
[freely] choose [to come together as a religious] community, walking together in truth and love as they seek to live the faith they share. And so, covenant both creates, nurtures, and sustains community as well as arising or growing out of the community we create. Covenant and community are both the chicken and the egg, each creating and growing out of the other. Covenant is about the promises that the members of a community make to each other. But it is not, I believe, just about the promises that we make to each other as a community. Covenant, I believe, transcends the individuals who come together to create a religious community because true community, I believe, is always more than the sum of its parts more than the individuals who make up a community. There is, I believe, something that is sacred and holy in the making of a covenant something that seeks to invoke the larger Life of which we are a part as a witness to the promises we make and makes us accountable not only to each other and our shared community but to the faith and values that we hold most dear and true. Covenant is what binds us together in community. Covenant is a bond. And anything that binds a person in any way necessarily limits his or her freedom as an individual (which is something that a lot of us aren t fond of). Covenant, relationship, and community, therefore, always exist in tension with individual freedom, liberty, and autonomy. Or, as Victoria Safford would say, covenants are declarations of our interdependence, not declarations of independence. Although we freely choose to enter into covenant with others, covenant limits our freedom to do as we please. Covenant limits our freedom to pursue only our own narrow personal interests instead of the common good. And that is sometimes a hard pill for individualistic Unitarian Universalists to swallow. But obligation and responsibility are the flip side of promise and that community requires commitment. And so, covenant involves obligation as well as promise and commitment as well as relationship. For commitment and responsibility are simply the price we must pay to live together in true community. V Covenant is about community. But more fundamentally, covenant is, at its core, about relationship. Promises call us into relationship and the experience of making, breaking and remaking promises is [not only] the reality of our lived faith but also the reality of what it means to live as human beings. Covenant is about creating deeper, healthier, and more intimate relationships, nurturing and sustaining relationships, preserving and strengthening relationships when they are threatened by conflict, dissension, and disagreement, reestablishing relationships when the ties that bind us to each other and to community have been damaged or severed. Like contracts or legal agreements, relational covenants involve promises promises that are mutual, reciprocal, and binding. But as Victoria Safford reminds us, a covenant is not a contract. Its promises are not, or at least should not be, quid pro quo if you do this, then I ll do that but rather a
commitment to do our best to keep our promises to others and our shared community even when others may break their promises to us. Like contracts or other promises or agreements, covenants can be broken and, when covenants are broken, there can be significant consequences for those who fail to live up to the promises they ve made and consequences for the people and community to whom those promises were made. But unlike a legal contract, a covenant is, in some sense, a promise that is meant to be broken or, at least, a promise that we should expect will be broken sooner or later despite our best intentions and efforts to the contrary. As Victoria Safford readily admits, it is easy for her to promise on Sunday to dwell in peace and then, by Monday afternoon or Tuesday at the latest, to find herself living fearfully again or acting selfishly or meanly. And I know that the same is true for me and all of you. The covenants we make will be broken. But when covenants are broken, the result need not be the irrevocable or permanent destruction of relationships and community. For true covenants, I believe, always call us to repentance, forgiveness, reconciliation, and healing. A covenant, Safford writes, is not a static artifact signed and sealed once and for all but rather a living, breathing aspiration made new [and renewed] every day. And perhaps, as Safford suggests, covenant is really not so much about promises, vows, or agreements but aspiration and intent aspirations about the kind of persons we want to be and the way we want to live with ourselves, with other people, and with all living things and the earth that is our home. VI So what, then, are the covenants that bind us together as a religious community? There is, of course, the Covenant of Right Relations that we adopted last year a covenant in which we promise, as members and friends of this religious community, to value what unites us over those things that divide us; practice patience, listen carefully, and speak our truth with compassion; hold ourselves accountable for our actions and commitments; assume good intentions on the part of others; reflect carefully about the potential results of our words and actions before we express ourselves; and speak directly, with kindness and respect, to those with whom we disagree. But there are also, I believe, other covenants, sometimes implicit or unspoken but nonetheless important and real, that we make with each other and our shared community simply by being members of this religious community:
the commitment to give of ourselves, who we are, and what we have (our presence, passion, time, energy, skills, and, yes, money) to support this religious community and its shared values, mission, and ministry; the promise to support and care for each other in times of need; the aspiration to live out the values of our liberal religious faith in our daily lives; the intention to engage in a life long practice of spiritual growth and development, both individually and as a community; the commitment to both honor our liberal religious heritage and tradition and to keep the flame alive for future generations and all those who are longing to find a faith based on reason and imagination, justice and compassion, service and love. These, I believe, are some of the covenants, promises, commitments, and aspirations that bind us together in community. And perhaps, one day, we will make some of those implicit promises and commitments (or others) explicit. But until then, I m not sure that I could express what I think the essence of our covenant as a liberal religious community is or should be any better than the way that the Massachusetts Pilgrims did in 1621. And so, may it be, at least for now, our solemn and holy covenant as members of this religious community to walk together in the ways of Truth and Affection as best we know them now or may come to know them in the days and years that lie ahead, so that we and our children and all of Life may flourish and be fulfilled and we may speak to the world with words and deeds of peace and goodwill today and always. May it be so.