10 The Influence of Relationships How are you influenced by your relationships? Knowing the potential impact that different kinds of relationships have upon your life will help you to a more successful NEW BEGINNING. Avoid relationships that have a potential to harm you, and seek those which are potentially good for you. Then, you will remain in the center of God's perfect will for your life. Living Waters Lessons on Relationships From 1 Kings 9:4-9; 11:1-11; 12:1-14 (NKJV) Family Relationships King Solomon, the son of David, began his reign with great blessings amid the promises of God. Solomon received specific instructions from God concerning the blessings of obedience, and the consequences of disobedience. He was called the wisest man who ever lived. Yet, even wise Solomon stumbled, because he allowed his relationships with members of his family to influence him wrongly, and to lead him away from God. Solomon chose not to continue to nurture and strengthen his relationship with God. He decided to do just the opposite. But King Solomon loved many foreign women... And he had seven hundred wives, princesses, and three hundred concubines; and his wives turned away his heart... and his heart was not loyal to the LORD his God, as was the heart of his father David. So the LORD became angry with Solomon... Therefore the LORD said to Solomon, Because you have done this, and have not kept My covenant and My statutes, which I have commanded you, I will surely tear the kingdom away from you and give it to your servant. 1 Kings 11:1-11 10-1 Robert Abramson 2003
WHY DID SOLOMON GET INTO... The sinful conditions of living with these women, in rebellion to God's Word and instruction, were enough to put Solomon in a vulnerable position. He reaped a harvest of trouble because he chose to listen to unwise family members. God gave Solomon a great deal of freedom in his life to make choices. Solomon abused this freedom. He experienced great trouble because he chose to get into some bad relationships with his many marriages. Then he listened to the wrong advice from these family members. Solomon's family influenced him into becoming a rebellious idol worshipper! Idols can be many things -- idols of selfpity, envy, jealousy hate, or shame? Solomon experienced many of these in the midst of the chaos that must have existed in his family. What about you? You must not let these kinds of things come between you and God! Solomon walked away from God one step at a time. His tolerance for sin grew and he was gradually drawn into trouble and out of God s blessings. Influence of Friends Solomon's acceptance of a rebellious and disobedient lifestyle not only brought him down, but affected others who were close to him. His son Rehoboam was one of these. He was not only molded and shaped in his youth by his father s failures to control his family, but later, upon becoming king, allowed his own friends to wrongfully influence his life...;then Jeroboam and the whole assembly of Israel came and spoke to Rehoboam, saying, Your father made our yoke heavy; now therefore, lighten the burdensome service of your father, and his heavy yoke which he put on us, and we will serve you. So he said to them, 'Depart for three days, then come back to me.' And the people departed. Then King Rehoboam consulted the elders who stood before his father Solomon while he still lived, and he said, How do you advise me to answer these people? And they spoke to him, saying, If you will be a servant to these people today, and serve them, and answer them, and speak good words to them, then they will be your servants forever. But he rejected the advice which the elders had 10-2 Robert Abramson 2003
given him, and consulted the young men who had grown up with him, who stood before him. And he said to them, What advice do you give? How should we answer this people who have spoken to me, saying, Lighten the yoke which your father put on us? Then the young men who had grown up with him spoke to him, saying, 'Thus you should speak to this people who have spoken to you, saying, Your father made our yoke heavy, but you make it lighter on us ; thus you shall say to them: My little finger shall be thicker than my father's waist! And now, whereas my father put a heavy yoke on you, I will add to your yoke; my father chastised you with whips, but I will chastise you with scourges!... Then the king answered the people roughly, and rejected the advice which the elders had given him; and he spoke to them according to the advice of the young men, saying, My father made your yoke heavy, but I will add to your yoke; my father chastised you with whips, but I will chastise you with scourges! 1 Kings 12:1-14 (NKJV) Rehoboam rejected Godly counsel by seasoned and wise men. He took the bad advice of the younger men who were his friends. The result of doing so was the separation of God s people into two kingdoms. This separation led to many wars and persecutions for hundreds of years. There was much death and suffering. Bad advice from ungodly relationships will lead to trouble. Eventually, the entire Hebrew nation was ransacked, and its people were sent into Babylonian captivity. It is important to note that the people who gave both Solomon and Rehoboam wrongful advice were their friends. They were not out to get them or intentionally steer them wrong. PRINCIPLE: Wrong relationships will cause you to slide quickly away from God, and will destroy the good things in your life. WHAT KIND OF INFLUENCE OR ADVICE WILL HELP YOU? WHO SHOULD YOU LISTEN TO? HOW CAN YOU REALLY BE SURE? Your life is a continuing chain of decisions. These decisions are usually influenced by people in one way or another. Almost everyone will eagerly give you advice, and most people love to let their opinions be known. However, a reluctant advisor is a wise advisor. 10-3 Robert Abramson 2003
Family and friends may be good sources of advice. Their influence may be godly and may correctly influence your life. However, they may also be conflicting sources of advice. You are likely to get more than one opinion of what is the correct thing to do. Confusion can result. Indiscriminate advice seeking (a willingness to listen to what everyone says) is dangerous. The only influence or advice that will help you is that which agrees with the Word of God. This is your DIVINE INSURANCE POLICY, as you walk through the world and its problems. OPINIONS CAN ONLY INFLUENCE YOUR LIFE WHEN YOU DECIDE TO BELIEVE AND ACCEPT THEM! You must continually compare the words of others with what God says in His Word. It is your responsibility to judge both the source and content of what is said to you in your relationships. I WANT TO BE YOUR FRIEND! I WANT TO BE YOUR ADVISOR! I WANT TO INFLUENCE YOUR LIFE! I WANT TO KILL YOU! The devil wants to have a relationship with you so that he can give you his advice. Why? So he can make you miserable, and keep you suffering. He will do so with the following tools: 1. Emotions 2. Television, music, movies, books and magazines. (The movie Gone with the Wind was banned because of one word at the end of the movie. Today, they have taken the lid off the garbage can and dumped it all over us.) 3. Life controlling drugs 4. Sexual temptation and seduction 5. Words of condemnation and death 6. Failures or successes (Both have the capacity to drive you away from your relationship with God). 7. Man-woman relationships (when the other person dictates your behavior) 8. (What can you add to this list?) Be absolutely sure that your relationships, and their influence upon you, bring only encouragement and life. Your friendships must draw you closer to God. One friendship that is guaranteed to bring you closer is your friendship with Jesus. Let s look at the Friend who never lets you down. 10-4 Robert Abramson 2003
Living Waters Lessons on an Abiding Relationship with Jesus From John 15:7-17 (NKJV) If you abide in Me, and My words abide in you, you will ask what you desire, and it shall be done for you. By this My Father is glorified, that you bear much fruit; so you will be My disciples. As the Father loved Me, I also have loved you; abide in My love. If you keep My commandments, you will abide in My love, just as I have kept My Father's commandments and abide in His love. These things I have spoken to you, that My joy may remain in you, and that your joy may be full. John 15:7-11 When you are Jesus friend your prayers will be answered. You will be joyfully motivated to glorify God, as you lovingly serve Him. You will live continuously in His love. WHAT A GREAT PLACE TO BE! You will have so much joy that it will overflow you and spill out on others. This is My commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one's life for his friends. You are My friends if you do whatever I command you. No longer do I call you servants, for a servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all things that I heard from My Father I have made known to you. You did not choose Me, but I chose you and appointed you that you should go and bear fruit, and that your fruit should remain, that whatever you ask the Father in My name He may give you. These things I command you, that you love one another. John 15:12-17 JUST HOW GOOD A FRIEND IS JESUS? He was willing to pay the ultimate price to have you as a friend. Will you let Him be your friend? Will you let Him know that you feel the same toward Him as He does toward you? In any relationship, it takes two active participants to make it a success. If you will love Him and give Him first place in your life, you will experience the joy which is only available from Him. Jesus looks at you as His personal friend (AWESOME!). He even shares His divine wisdom with you (WHAT A GIFT!). Isn t it incredible that He picked you of the whole world to be His friend? Isn t it wonderful that He wants to give you whatever you ask of Him! All He asks is that you share Him with others and that you give the same love He gives you to those you meet along the way. 10-5 Robert Abramson 2003